Monday, January 26, 2015

Today I Bring To You, Super Duper Ewwwww!

I would rather look at zombie feet all day then even attend such a party at my bay. I saw this and threw up in my mouth a bit. It is some really nasty umm spit. Or at least it would create some real nasty spit, giving my OCD a fit.

What have you done to make some dough?
Have you pawned things high and low?
Have you sold yourself for sex?
Maybe went all bounty hunter there, Tex?

Nothing can top this thing.
Well almost nothing for a little cha ching.
Or experiment or what have you.
In the end it is just eww.

Want the cat to get to it already?
Your curiosity is coming on steady.
Last chance to stop reading,
I hope everyone is done feeding.

So in 2012, yeah that far back,
5 people were out for a snack.
They wanted something super rare,
And they didn't want to pay a hefty fare.

Then they saw an ad,
From a 22 year old lad.
He had recently had is umm tallywhacker removed from down there.
See where this is going at my lair?

He had taken the removed part home.
His tallywhacker would no longer roam.
It was put up for bid as a treat.
And people actually thought it was sweet.

Yep, five people paid to eat his tallywhacker.
I guess he wasn't in need of a financial backer.
Just chop it off and cook it up,
Then just add a little wine in your cup.

Mmmm such a tasty meal.
Tallywhacker gets a five star seal.
Just threw up in my mouth again.
Bad enough they eat cow testicles at many a den.

But this just takes the cake.
Why would anyone ever want to partake?
A once in a lifetime opportunity one guy said.
Pffft, so is stepping on the moon or dropping dead.

Do I want to do either one of those?
Nope, although it'd be okay to have moon on my toes.
And just in case you are wondering on the taste,
The 5 eaters said it tasted like rubber as they ate and didn't let it go to waste.

Are you ready for your next meal? Japan was the place of this ordeal. Does that really surprise? Watch what you eat there, a word to the wise. I bet even the gawker would never eat that, even if he has eaten squirrel and rat. I stole Porkys word, tallywhacker, to try and make it less sick. Beats going, mmmm how about that dick. Blah, blah and ewww. Now I am through. No wonder humans never get snipped snipped like me and Cass. I bet they would even eat the parts from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

95 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break it is now # 22
      Progressing slowly through

      Hank

      Delete
    2. haha something new
      From you with my eww

      Delete
    3. Oh, my gosh, I can't stop laughing again
      Better than holding my breath and counting to 10!

      Delete
    4. A tallywhacker makes him speak
      Here at my creek

      Delete
  2. "Are you ready for your next meal?"
    Tallywhacker? your choice is sealed
    Downed with wine
    Would be just fine
    No fooling you must know, it's a deal!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck to that I say
      Need plenty of wine on display

      Delete
  3. Visions of The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover just went through my head...
    That is just sick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankfully I skipped that one
      My eyes and brain would need scrubbing a ton

      Delete
  4. A once in a lifetime opportunity? To run the other way. Nasty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nasty as can be
      With such an eating spree

      Delete
  5. It's his tallywacker, tiz his choice
    If he wants to make it dice
    If he wants to make it scramble
    While through the city he does ramble
    If he wants to make it sauce
    Wonder if he remember's dos
    Six people in all, a bunch of nuts
    IQ's lower than a bunch of mutts
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Testicle Festivals are popular here in cow country. Actually they are
    pretty tasty. Really.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nasty as can be
      His to give away with glee
      But I'd rather eat a frog
      Or go swim in a nasty bog
      And yeah I know that
      But testicles of anything will never be eaten by Pat or cat

      Delete
  6. I think I would rather be dead
    I'll stick to waffles instead

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha probably a better fate
      Than dead or a testicle eating date

      Delete
    2. as long as the waffles are due

      and not blue

      Delete
    3. Blue can go many a way
      With the post today

      Delete
  7. I can hardly believe this is true but I trust you not to lie. Feel a little sick myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh it is true
      Nasty through and through

      Delete
  8. Because I can be a little warped
    I wonder how much they paid for this deal
    Money could have been used more wisely
    This is just too weird I feel!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol no amount is good
      To be snip snip in any hood

      Delete
  9. Whoa. No. Some things I wouldn't do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always some things
      Waiting in the wings

      Delete
  10. I am with Optimistic Existentialist.
    Waffles for me too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha waffles beat dick
      As that is so ick

      Delete
  11. Well, I must say that I am not hungry now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good diet inducer at my sea
      Should patent it with glee

      Delete
  12. T'was not dinner appropriate; however, I did read to the end. Oops! Now I've contributed to the nastiness here. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha contribute away
      To the nasty today

      Delete
  13. One of our local delicacies is called "Rocky Mountain Oysters." It's bull testicles. No thanks. Even so, I'll eat that before I eat a man's 'tallywhacker.'

    And in a place like Japan, where they eat octopuses and eels and seaweed, I guess literally eating a dick is the least of their food concerns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to bull testicles a ton
      I'd rather starve than eat a one
      Japan eats all
      So yeah, not too surprising at their hall

      Delete
  14. Okay. I was cringing while reading this. I'm not sure if I can finish eating my late breakfast now. Maybe you should put up a warning for everyone to stop eatting before reading. haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so traumatized that I can't even spell eating right. LOL!

      Delete
    2. I'm so traumatized that I can't even spell eating right. LOL!

      Delete
    3. lmao it even made you repeat
      I should have gave a double dose with zombie feet

      Delete
  15. Okay. I was cringing while reading this. I'm not sure if I can finish eating my late breakfast now. Maybe you should put up a warning for everyone to stop eatting before reading. haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most know to eat first
      Or their appetite may burst

      Delete
  16. Ewww...the choice of new...
    is that how we take it?
    all unfamiliar as fake,
    no change for us
    no patience because.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess it sounded grand
      And they chowed down pieces in hand

      Delete
  17. You were correct, that is really EWWWWW and gross too. Sure glad I don't live in Japan. So much for any more Japanese food. Take care Pat and watch what you eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha watch every little drop
      Never gonna stop

      Delete
  18. Umm what??! Please tell me that is a made up story but the cat!!

    cestlavie22.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. Umm what??! Please tell me that is a made up story but the cat!!

    cestlavie22.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. OMG... Really??? Well, if he was that much of an idiot... who knows what else he did with his tallywacker. Maybe it is better gone... Who the eff would eat it anyway? More morons?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Morons by the pound
      True, better off not reproducing and having kids around

      Delete
  21. Pass. And lol at Terry's response!!! *chortle snort*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a pass with a snort
      Quite the retort

      Delete
  22. No tallywackers for me, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. No tallywackers for me, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A double comment stream today
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  24. People are sick and twisted and messed up
    If I'm gonna eat a wiener, I'll take mine with ketchup.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does your wiener have a first name
      Or is it lame?

      Delete
  25. I was curious and it was worth than I expected! Blech!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Worth you say?
      So not worse at your bay? lol

      Delete
  26. orlin N cassie...what de be jezuz N hell...N we used ta give R cuzin link... de dawg....de biznezz for eatin cat turdz...

    faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    frank lee in thiz case...even BURD wood be better

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao yep a cat turd would be better and a burd
      Some humans are just absurd

      Delete
  27. Japan?? I feel part Japanese so I am not sure how I feel about this. Hahahahaha bleh gag barf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that is how you should feel
      Barfing over such an ordeal

      Delete
  28. Leave it to the Japanese, hard to ever top that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure I'd want to
      Be even more ewww

      Delete
  29. I wonder what the going rate is for tallywhacker per pound?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure i want to know
      But you can search it out and give it a go

      Delete
  30. I had not heard about this gig
    Won't be taking any big swig
    When I saw your title here
    I thought you'd rant about the Super Bowl near...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope not that
      Worse at my blog mat

      Delete
  31. Totally gross. People are wierdo's.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Replies
    1. haha right expression indeed
      From your feed

      Delete
  33. This is super gross!
    Haven't been to your pad awhile
    Missed your style...

    Holidays were great though! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gross is the way
      Welcome back to my bay

      Delete
  34. Bounty bars are the only bounty I've ever though about,
    Chocolate and coconut as i remember British confections
    Now that you mention

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A better bounty for you
      Then a tallywhacker coming due

      Delete
  35. I don't know what to say here, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Good God! And I thought that eating the placenta after birth was as nasty as it got. This just takes the cake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao can always be worse
      Enough to make one curse

      Delete
    2. Oh my gosh, Theresa, you ain't a'kiddin' I can't even contemplate! I saw they come in capsule form now too, bwuahahahha

      Delete
    3. God that is as nasty as can be
      Some people are creepy

      Delete
    4. I bet they charge a butt load for the capsules too! Gross!

      Delete
    5. Sooo nasty still
      Why would one want such a pill

      Delete
  37. if you ever get the chance to see the movie,
    the cook, the thief, his wife and her lover...
    there is a line (after the husband has the wifes lover
    cooked) where she says, "try the cock,
    it is the best part"

    life seems to marry art....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugg, nasty thought
      Sure that movie won't make a mind rot? lol

      Delete
  38. Reminds me of the movie Brian mentioned
    I remember being in shock
    When she looks over and says
    It's the best, try the cock

    I have never seen a movie like it
    And probably never will
    Although Se7en and Silence of the Lambs had their moments
    But your tale? Yuck, I've had my fill

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I'll let you watch that
      Skip it at my mat
      Keep Se7en and Silence of the lambs in my brain
      Compared to cock eating pain

      Delete
  39. Replies
    1. Scary as can be
      And nasty a ton at any sea

      Delete