Sunday, February 22, 2015

Look At Me! I Won, Yippeee!

That big flashy, not so secret, meeting of plastic surgery anonymous is on tonight. Whoops, it is still called the Oscars at every hall? Damn, I spoiled the inside name. Plastic surgeons everywhere now have me to blame.

Step on down,
With a plastic crown,
A million dollar this or that,
To hide away the fat.

No need to be shy,
Just bat an eye.
The eye lashes are fake too?
Damn, about fake you.

But fake is not the partake,
Of this rhyme I make.
Fake is fake as can be.
Fake is easy to see.

They think fake is not?
Maybe all the fake gave them eye rot?
Hail plastic surgeons everywhere,
They can give them all a blurry stare.

Oh yes, off the fake.
For that is a piece of cake.
Even better is the win.
Nothing like it at any bin.

If old farts vote for you,
You win a golden statue.
But the shine isn't the best part,
Now you have a naked man to take to heart.

No porno films allowed,
With this uptight crowd.
So instead the win is porn.
A naked man on your shelf is born.

But damn, this day in age,
Even that isn't all the rage.
I just got a trophy for coming in 110th place.
Oh that sure put a smile on my face.

Everyone gets a medal as well.
So many on my shelf it's swell.
No need to work at all.
Just look at my trophy wall.

From 110th place to 65th place.
Doesn't it make your heart race?
All you got is a naked man for winning.
Now who is the one sinning?

Awards are a dime a dozen now a days. All you have to do is make it through the maze. Whether 110th place or first, you will still get an award even if you are the worst. So yippeee for you. I suppose at least you don't, hopefully, have a plastic view.  Don't you love the award system that came to pass? I just won 50 awards for sitting on my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

95 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. #1
      Look At Me! I Won,
      Yippeee!
      Wasn't easy!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. haha back on top
      Yipppeee with the #1 hop

      Delete
    3. Congrats, Hank!
      I was on the road ;)

      Delete
    4. Sure you were
      More like snoring and pretending to purr

      Delete
    5. Damn how did you know
      I was doing the snore snore show?

      Delete
  2. "you will still get an award even if you are the worst"
    Such a friendly take meaning one need not be 'first'
    For Oscar nights
    Truth takes flight
    Plastics splashed freely to be bundled out in a hearse

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A hearse you say
      Many look like it on display

      Delete
  3. I thought I would be first
    My heart nearly burst
    But kaykuala got first, second and third you see
    So fourth it must be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stuck in fourth place
      Have to be fast in the #1 race

      Delete
    2. I'll be back - you know it's true
      Or my name ain't Grumpy Goo

      Delete
    3. Terminator are you
      There at your zoo

      Delete
  4. Good point - the dude is naked.
    When everyone is a winner, no one is a winner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep a little naked man
      True, everyone wins and its a flash in the pan

      Delete
  5. Fake eye lashes is probably the #1 thing!!!!! Hahahaha Hey now, that's not fair. There are some naturally gorgeous celebrities too. I would let you know who they are, but I have never watched the Oscars in my life. Boring!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um naturally you say?
      Go snap a pic of them without their makeup on display
      Then come argue that with me
      Not many you shall see
      Boring indeed
      But you have no taste anyway with reality tv at your feed lol

      Delete
  6. Ha, say what you may
    many enjoy Oscar day
    it is a breath of fresh air
    an escape from snow everywhere
    one day to celebrate the arts
    and to even honor old farts
    let the Oscar show begin
    take the world for a spin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gives one to do
      There at their zoo
      So a positive I suppose
      As the snow blows

      Delete
  7. The twins love to see Oscars by the MOVIES!
    I dont se all is too long!
    About surgeries oh us true and when is not
    You can find photoshop!
    Not for me.
    All natural in my yard:)
    Me, the food, the pictures lol
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah plastic surgery is the way
      For most there on display
      Photoshop can make all grand
      Also across the land
      Natural is the way
      Much better a display

      Delete
  8. Actors become known by their oscar win
    Didn't one even go to Rin Tin Tin
    The ladies like to prance and pose
    Careful lady, don't pick your nose
    On the red carpet you won't see a wrinkle
    Dresses so tight you wonder how they go tinkle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol they must hold it for a while
      Or not drink the whole day to avoid bathroom tile
      If they really have to pick their nose
      They may as well strike a pose

      Delete
  9. Well if you won awards just by sitting and writing rhymes I'd still say it's well deserved. You can write really good, relevant and even intriguing stories through rhymes. How cool and fun is that.

    But really, if awards are given just as easily as that you wrote about, what's the point? Right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd rather have the money than a statue of a naked man
      With a little golden tan
      And yeah easy ones are dumb indeed
      Pointless at every feed

      Delete
  10. An award reward must be enjoyed no matter the finish!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With a good reward
      One can never be bored

      Delete
  11. A good theme choice for today! I don't even watch the Oscars anymore...the first 30 minutes and the last hour are all you really need to see. Everything in between is just "best animated short." Blech.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is all there is to it
      Most of it is ummm shit

      Delete
  12. They have gotten really boring as of late

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boring is the word indeed
      As they show on every feed

      Delete
  13. I watch the first 15 minutes maybe, after that it puts me to sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least you last that long though
      Before a nap comes thanks to the show

      Delete
  14. It seems like there is an award show every single week end. Guess they are making tons of money and all the advertisers are sure happy. It is really boring to watch it all. Have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, boring as can be
      The advertisers sure go on a spending spree

      Delete
  15. And a golden man at that!/Too right again, is Mr Cat/Who'll be the biggest winner of all tonight?/Well, Mr Surgeon, plastic's the divine light! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. Surgeon rakes in the dough
      The clear winner of tonight's show

      Delete
  16. Just another excuse to dress up and show off
    and get excited about an award
    didn't see half the movies nominated
    so if I watched it I would be bored

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bored seems to be the way
      Of all here today

      Delete
  17. A timely post for the day
    I won't be tuning in, no way
    as some fake is on display

    Oh and the big thank you
    we all must listen too
    catch the highlights on you-tube

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha youtube is where most go
      To catch a thank you flow
      A bunch of fake crap
      Voted on by a stick up their bum chap

      Delete
  18. What's that... No porno flicks allowed
    With this uptight crowd?
    Did they go undersground
    Making to much um sound?
    Would there be special effect too
    Like CGI poo?
    Say it ain't so
    At your kitty cat show
    Play a blind cat and you might win
    Or be poor and succeed and you'll be in
    Would you have fake whiskers too
    Or fur extentions, rubber poo?
    I hope not at you sea
    In the place to be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rubber we have around somewhere
      I used it at the other lair
      They thought it was real
      A fun ordeal
      CGI though?
      Nasty to let go
      Fake crap from computer space
      Not something we'd embrace
      Poor and blind
      You'd impress all the uptight mind

      Delete
    2. You used it at the other lair?
      You mean before you had so much hair
      A kitty rubber... who would've guessed
      Hope you're not on a quest ;)

      Delete
    3. A quest to be rubber
      Like a land lubber?
      What about Flubber?
      Could use that to club her

      Delete
  19. haha I don't watch the Oscars anymore
    too much fake glitter and galore
    plastic faces and fancy dresses
    so much vanity and emptiness

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. vanity from every seat
      As they all think they are neat
      Pfft to that
      Throw them all in a load of scat

      Delete
  20. I don't watch award shows, but your poem was worthy of the wins!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wins I can take
      As long as there is no hand to shake

      Delete
  21. I'm looking forward to all the plastic and may even make a reappearance in the blogosphere with a redneck red carpet recap if there's good material. Although I think I missed my window of opportunity The Grammys were the ticket!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look who's back
      All done reno's at your shack?
      They cat can't wait to be right
      As you let another post see the light

      Delete
  22. I am one who won't be bored
    I want to see them thank the lord.
    I want to see the glitz and glam
    even though it's all a sham.
    Fake butts and tits
    this is all part of the blitz.
    Sequins, satin and shimmer
    it is all part of the glitter
    of what I enjoy
    and I will not be coy
    since I have much sass
    and like that statue's ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol to each their own
      That statue won't groan
      Stare at its ass
      Do it will class
      Can you do it with class?
      Staring at an ass the class may pass
      Fake abounds
      As fake ass surrounds

      Delete
  23. Don't applaud, just throw money,
    Is the credo of my honey,
    But since he didn't specify sums
    Must make do with whatever comes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Throw money could be bad
      Change to the head would make some mad

      Delete
  24. I don't really watch the oscars, but I do notice who wins and who were nominated

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah we notice too
      But meh to most at our zoo

      Delete
  25. ah i am rather over the awards,
    and will not waste an evening to watch all the skimpy clad,
    plastic-coated...or is that filled, ones who entertain us
    make much of each other...and all their profits...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, no point in watching that
      As the plastic bums sit and chew the fat

      Delete
  26. The Oscars on tonight?
    What to do, I scratch my head.
    Turn out the lights.
    It's early to bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's that they say?
      Then early to rise?
      Are they talking about the way
      That can only be done by guys?

      Delete
  27. I don't usually watch any of the award shows. I did catch the second half of the Grammy's this year and was amused (and a tad bit outraged at the Sam Smith/Tom Petty story that I found out after watching). ;) Won't watch this one. Too much to do tonight. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too much to do
      Is better than giving that crap a view

      Delete
  28. The Oscars, oh my!
    We watch it - but why?
    Seems I don't mind a bit
    If I must see more Pitt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's to mind
      With each plastic behind

      Delete
  29. You may not be surprised to find I have an Oscar in my name on my bedroom cupboard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not surprising at all
      Did you carve it or buy it at the mall? lol

      Delete
    2. Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum in Sydney ;)

      Delete
    3. haha just googled it
      Looks like a hit

      Delete
  30. Don't care who wins
    only watch for the dresses.
    Some of the contenders are
    outstanding hot messes.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the fun you can see
      By watching those with a fashion sense of a flea

      Delete
  31. I have one Oscar too
    calling me the Best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that is the way
      To get called at your bay

      Delete
  32. The mean nothing to me
    since I haven't seen the movies! ha.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I don't watch the show. I never understood why people are obsessed with who takes a trophy home for being a fake ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, such a waste of time
      Paid millions to act like a douche or roll in grime

      Delete
  34. Use to often win the pool
    Although none of the films I knew
    Haven't watched the Oscars in years
    I'd YouTube if I wanted a clue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just look there the next day
      And be on your merry way
      Easy to do
      There at your zoo

      Delete
  35. Replies
    1. A mistake from you
      That won't do lol

      Delete
    2. As Mary Poppins would say
      I'm practically perfect in every way!

      Delete
    3. Would mary poppins say that?
      No spoon full of sugar for the cat

      Delete
  36. Do I win anything for watching that trash?
    Over 3 hours wasted, I should get cash,
    Or at least a few coins or a cheap plastic cup.
    I should have been sleeping but instead I stayed up.


    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so they should have paid you
      For sitting and giving it a view?
      A glutton for punishment at your sea?
      At least you got to see Doogie Howser go on a tighty whitey spree

      Delete
  37. I don't think I have ever watched the Oscars. I think it is just a waste of good TV space.

    ReplyDelete