Sunday, February 8, 2015

They Like To Pile In To The Jail Bin!

The dumb criminals are back for another go around at my shack. I could do a post every day for a year on these nuts. There are that many dumb ones in ruts. But that is no surprise at all. Plus it would be too restrictive anyway at a my hall.

There was a pair,
Who didn't forget underwear.
Sadly, they left their phone on though.
And butt dialed 911 on the go.

One guy was running away,
Not wanting to pay.
It looked like he was well ahead,
Oopsy, ran right into a parked cop car, such dread.

Another sure could run,
Took off after the deed was done.
He ran towards the sliding door,
Used the wrong side and glass in his head decided to explore.

One guy decided to rob a convenience store.
He thought it would be easy at such a shore.
He went to hop the desk and get to the cash.
Steel chair to the head ended his bash.

One tried to run away,
But dropped the loot he stole with much on display.
His saggy pants fell as he ran.
He fell proving to be a flash in the pan.

Criminals hiding out,
Believed a great shout.
Free beer for all.
Gave their address, oopsy, down they fall.

Mask, check!
Ready to make all hit the deck.
Get ready for the greatest criminal ever chants.
Easy to find, as he was wearing clown pants.

A game can come in handy too.
A cop entered a broken into zoo.
Said Marco as he went inside.
Polo was returned with such pride.

A guy comes to rob a place.
The ski mask is covering his face.
But it wasn't on great.
So takes it off, redoes it, camera takes the bait.

And the best one of all.
This guy tried to rob a family's hall.
But a big epic fail took seed.
Police were already inside taking statements about another deed.

Doesn't it make you feel grand that these idiots are caught with little fuss across the land? That last guy should have at least looked into the window or maybe notice the cars with sirens that can glow. So ends this dumb criminal pass. You humans truly don't impress my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

93 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Well done Blue
      Over to you!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. I cramped Hank's style
      It has been a while
      How's life, Hank?
      Still the one and only Poetry Tank?

      Delete
    3. Blue got in
      For the win
      Hank is cursing you
      There Mr. Blue

      Delete
    4. Blue number one! No? I would say that was yes, yes, yes...hahaha

      Delete
    5. A little yes
      Lower he did confess

      Delete
    6. Things been ok Blue!
      Would have to start again
      Starting anew
      It's all in the game!

      Hank

      Delete
    7. Round and round we go
      Been a while since 50 though

      Delete
    8. oh my gosh, a new number one
      while Hank was doing so well before
      now he's back to zero
      and will have to work hard to continue to score

      betty

      Delete
    9. Will have to get back on top
      And go non stop

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Stopped in his tracks
      After the #1 packs

      Delete
    2. That's right. No need to sound surprised ;)

      Delete
    3. Surprising it must be
      To many at my sea

      Delete
    4. It sure does entertain
      Fun aboard the #1 train

      Delete
  3. "They Like To Pile In To The Jail Bin"
    Not using their heads and without thinking
    Too engrossed
    With their cause
    They failed to take care of the little things

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The little things can do you in
      Sending you to that jail bin

      Delete
  4. Last week two burglars were real smart
    Then went back home leaving their tracks in the snow
    The cops laughed so loud they nearly had to fart
    They caught the two saying, "oh oh...."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha beaten by snow
      You'd think they would know

      Delete
    2. Nearly fell off my chair
      And lost some hair

      Delete
    3. Don't go bald and bare
      Save some of that hair

      Delete
  5. Wow, Blue ruined Hank's streak!
    Robbed a house with the cops in it - yeah, real dumb. And I remember hearing the one where the clerk asked to see his license before he'd give him the beer. Darwin award candidates all of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blue got on in
      Seconds before for the win
      Yep, none the brightest humanity has to offer up
      ID guy has less brains than a pup

      Delete
  6. Idiots they are and idiots they'll stay/robbing and mugging ain't no way to live day after day! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they will stay in the clink
      Losing brain cells with every blink

      Delete
  7. Just shows that if you're a criminal, you'd better be very careful not to make mistakes or you'll go down in history as an idiot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most are idiots to begin with though
      But getting caught proves their brain cells are low

      Delete
  8. hahahaha i love it when this comes on the radio
    each week, its hilarious to see
    how unintelligent people can be...

    i guess karma catches up to them
    and they punish themselves for their sin
    by being dumb again and again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah so fun to see how dumb some are
      As they try and be master criminals at every sand bar
      Karma doesn't even need to help out much at all
      Idiots get caught by even the security at the mall

      Delete
  9. Hahahaha
    No wonder all the crooks get caught
    The smartest bunch they prove they're not
    If they really had a brain
    They'd go to work with pride for gain

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A brain they lack
      Must be out hanging on a rack
      99 cents at walmart
      Throw a few in their cart

      Delete
  10. We always love it when those dumbos help catch themselves!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Makes it easier for all
      At each and every hall

      Delete
  11. These are always so darn funny
    as they get caught with the money
    whacky criminal capers
    make all the newspapers
    as we find them fun to read
    getting caught doing their deed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least they can be fun for all
      As they getting chucked behind a barred wall
      Keeping them out of our hair
      Just too bad they aren't rare

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. Yep, with this big spots
      Get spotted lots

      Delete
  13. I guess criminals should watch out for steel chairs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they may have to
      At each convenience store zoo

      Delete
  14. It makes my day
    when crime doesn't pay.
    But, some elude the Fuzz.
    Then? It does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both get paid
      In a way
      A fair trade?
      Can we say

      Delete
  15. All stupid crooks deserve the hook
    but the guy with the clown pants?
    Man, what a schnook!

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep wasn't very wise
      With his clown pants disguise

      Delete
  16. Lol!!!! The clown pants and the butt dial were the best. People need to have a plan before they become criminals. Sheesh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they need to be wise indeed
      But I guess they are dumb that's the criminal reason that took seed

      Delete
  17. Some do it on purpose when they boob
    All for the sake of You Tube!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A youtube star
      Some want to be near and far

      Delete
  18. Obviously when brains were handed out they missed the line. They give new meaning to the word stupid but this was very entertaining. I loved that the one idiot's pants fell since they probably were already around his butt since they think that is stylish-love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yep, they like to carry them around their ass
      Thinking it will impress many a lass
      They sure missed out on brains indeed
      When the line up took seed

      Delete
  19. Too cute with the Marco Polo one
    some words just have to be said
    even if it exposes where someone is hiding
    and to the thief the police were led

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah sometimes they just need to come out
      Even if afterwards they make one pout

      Delete
  20. So many are so dumb
    there crimes are ho hum
    and the police do come
    and make them numb
    by pinching their thumb!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better than cutting it off I suppose
      That would really cause woes

      Delete
  21. Just goes to show that crime does not pay. Have a super Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No pay to be found
      With dumb crime around

      Delete
  22. No one EVER said it was smart to be a criminal and... well.. these guys are kinda provin' that point.

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prove it over and over
      Dumber than rover

      Delete
  23. No one EVER said it was smart to be a criminal and... well.. these guys are kinda provin' that point.

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    ReplyDelete
  24. These stories are a hoot:
    Pants fall off when one steals loot.
    Karma is sometimes the best
    When it puts stupid criminals to rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And they are locked away
      No longer to see the light of day

      Delete
  25. Some stories just don't seem real but when I looked up an old ex...I found a news story that said he robbed a bank while two police officers were standing right outside and when he walked out, he walked right into them. Talk about dumb.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao now that is dumb indeed
      And yeah, some really don't sound true that you read
      But idiots do them every day
      No brain cells at play

      Delete
  26. Clown pants solo
    Marco... Polo
    Lights flash
    Hide the stash?!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm very impressed that you could tell all those stories in four short lines each.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was easy to do
      As I can rhyme anything at my zoo

      Delete
  28. Buahahaha on Marco Polo. That's pretty hysterical. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah just let it slip out
      Had to give it a shout

      Delete
  29. I wonder if the police line-up
    For those with dragging pants
    Features their butts rather than faces
    For identifying their private expanse

    ReplyDelete
  30. I swear, you're mind is creative out the wing-wan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And up the ying yang
      And through the zing zang

      Delete
  31. LOL I remember playing Maro Polo in the pool years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Crime doesn't pay, they always say
    But criminals still think it works that way
    This thing will work! How can it fail!
    They'll be plenty of time to discuss that in jail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They think they'll win
      Do every one else in
      But in the very end
      Jail their crime does send

      Delete
  33. I thank these criminals for being so stupid getting themselves caught. Saves taxpayer money from having to hunt them down!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But then cost taxpayer money to lock them away
      And feed them day by day

      Delete