Thursday, March 26, 2015

If You Were A Rock. A Blue Guy Mock!

The blue guy came after the cat a while ago, did you think I'd let that go? Whining about his little shoe. Maybe he is part kangaroo? A blue kangaroo would be a sight at a zoo. So the cat will mock and the picture may even shock.

If you were a rock, what kind of rock would you be?
Would you stick to a foot or fall on me?
Would you be pointy and sharp as a tack,
Or be one with your great big rock pack?
Would you be large and ready to please,
Or would you crumble and be one big tease?
Maybe brag that you were around when dinos roamed the Earth,
Or be smashed to bits and call it giving birth.
Would you end up really frail and bitter,
Becoming some clumping kitty litter?
How about your texture and curves?
Would you be smooth and round, remember, rocks, pervs.
Will you prick me if I touch you with a finger.
Or will you like it and let me linger?
Would you be in a collection of some collector,
Or suck up some metal and fool a metal detector?
Would you hide gold beneath or behind you,
Preventing thieves from stealing it two by two?
Maybe hide a body or something more.
Could be the Fountain of Youth or another trinket of lore.
Would you carve yourself into a headstone,
Listening for eternity as ghosts moan?
Would you gather with others to make a good bed,
Where any traveler can come to rest their weary head?
Would you protect lovers from a detection,
As behind you they hide with an umm err erection?

Or would you sit and stare
And not bother going anywhere?
Would you make rocks talk about you.
By not giving a whoopdi friggin doo?
Would you stand on your own without a care,
Or find another and make a rocky pair?
Would you let others get a good whiff
And the drop them off your cliff?
Tell me...
One, two, three...
What kind of rock would you be?


Have you decided what rock you will be? Are you like me and scared the blue guy has multiple personality disorder at his sea? Or maybe he just likes to play dress up. Whatever fills his cup. The cat will stick to being crass, passing gas with some sass and as always, being a little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

159 comments:

  1. IF YOU WERE A CAT, WHAT KIND OF CAT WOULD YOU BE?
    Would you be a rhyming cat at your kitty cat sea?
    Would you flip me the proverbial bird
    Hiding that big brown stinky turd
    Somewhere in the Bora sand —
    You know, Blue's favorite brand?
    (No, not the turd but Bora Beach)
    Would you be a kitty cat that's purring out of reach?
    Would you just meow or roar like a big fat lion?
    Would they call you Kitty Cat or something fancy... maybe Bryan?
    Would you boast from coast to coast about your pedigree
    And the size of your king size litterbox when you're going pee pee?
    Scooby Dooooo I bet you took my kangaroo shoe!
    Would you be a kitty cat that loves the word poo?
    Would you write about some big blue rock
    That loves to roll, or would you eat a sock?
    Hahahahaaaaaaaa a laughing cat?
    How about that?
    Well, I'm flattered anyway
    That you would write about me at your bay
    Hey, grrrrrrrrrrrrreat Post!
    Kitty Cat
    On your mat
    Have some toast!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good Morning Blue,

      I believe I can fly...be a rock with some roll and add a touch of soul..and I'd be rolling home to you...

      What kind of cat would I be ...a kitten on the outside, but the heart of a lion on the inside..a lioness on the hunt for her lion king...fighting tooth and claw preserving each day...

      Ok in the words of "R" - "Great Post"...hahaha...

      Delete
    2. Cat - I told you give Blue back his shoe...
      you like to hide things there at your zoo
      pieces of this and that, in a magic hat

      Delete
    3. Spoken like a True lioness.

      Listen to her, CAT.

      Delete
    4. Pffft the cat has no will
      To listen to any at his hill
      He'll bury such things in the litter box
      And go back to chewing on socks
      It is a giant litterbox too
      And there may be poo in that shoe
      Maybe that is why you are stuck
      Does crap in a shoe bring good luck?
      If you believe in that
      There at your blog mat
      The cat is the cat
      Simple as that
      Not need to be another one
      The cat has wild fun
      A wild cat in the grass
      With a little rhyming ass
      Now I am through
      Here at my zoo
      Which personality will you show today
      There at your bay
      Oh and one final ring
      Here at my wing
      Yipppeeee
      For meeee

      Delete
    5. Wow, blue really had the copy and paste ready today. Maybe he wanted to get in so he could go try and fly?

      Delete
    6. He had it ready to go
      Maybe he was in the know?
      He could try and fly
      But he might be squashed and die

      Delete
    7. I'm a cat with a bowl
      Since my cup is full

      There's no more to be
      When happiness is free

      'Cause life is too short
      So I'd run with a snort

      Through fields of joy
      And the world as my toy

      Until when I stop
      Cup spills from the top

      But bowl is endlessly
      Full of life and it's glee

      Delete
    8. That is the way
      To live each day
      Just like a cat
      And that is that
      But you forgot one thing
      As you purr and sing
      What about the cat nip?
      That makes a better trip lol

      Delete
    9. Pat Hatt, I was not talking about that kind of bowl!
      ;-)

      Delete
    10. Who was in the know?
      I'm just a pawn in the Kitty Cat Show
      I just felt he was up to no good
      So I stopped by being in the neighborhood
      No copy and paste though
      I type real fast - didn't you know?
      Oh
      Poo in a shoe Scooby Doo
      Now I know why you stole it too
      You need a bit of luck
      As for my feelings... who gives a duck
      Haaahaaaa you laughing cat
      On your Bora mat....
      My revenge will be sweet
      And sour and great like stinky feet

      Delete
    11. I'd be blue if he wasn't number one today

      Delete
    12. lol don't need that kind of bowl at all
      Just spread it down the hall

      Pfft the cat isn't afraid
      He'll spray you with raid
      Then you'll go numb
      From head to bum
      Laughing away
      From Bora where we play

      Blue for blue
      That won't do

      Delete
    13. Color me impressed Blue ~

      Delete
    14. Listen to Grace, Kitty Cat.
      She's got style on her mat.
      Now excuse me while I go snore
      Some more
      At my shore

      Delete
    15. Pffft a fake impress
      With your copy and paste confess

      Delete
  2. I'd be a five-carat, square-cut green rock.
    the kind that'd turn a kitty green, and Blue, grim.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The one in the dress is scary.
    I'd be a rock star. Wait, what do you mean that's not an option?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure... when taken out of context by a CAT. CLICK!!

      Delete
    2. haha that could be an option i suppose
      Blue in a dress can strike a pose

      Delete
    3. That isn'r a dress but an angel's attire
      How come that look doesn't inspire?

      Delete
    4. That's right angel attire
      now you can sing in a choir...

      Delete
    5. Angel you say
      Dress up and play?

      Delete
    6. haha - play some dress up
      Angel and a sinner...

      Delete
    7. Beats furries galore
      At any shore

      Delete
  4. Wait! Still catching up on yesterday
    I will comment on each one, come what may
    It may take me all year
    But I will do it, never fear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there was a ton
      That was given a run

      Delete
    2. Number 1...you know... the winner.

      Delete
  5. I like the one in the dress,
    It's such a mess.
    If I were rock I'd be pyrite
    And set all the fools alight!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is the way
      Clean house come what may

      Delete
    2. She likes the dress 'cause she's got great taste
      As for me...no cut n' paste

      Delete
    3. I like the dress too...isn't that what all angels wear???
      hmm, I can see some blue legs...

      Delete
    4. Dress lovers galore
      Today at my shore

      Delete
    5. But no dresses here
      Just a nude rhyming rear

      Delete
  6. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What kind of rock would I be
    a blue sapphire that would be me

    "I believe I can fly"
    we all have wings
    some of us don't know why?

    who said that????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't know, but I hope... they'll never tear us apart ;)

      Delete
    2. Tear it apart
      At a walmart?
      I see I see
      Tearing with glee

      Delete
    3. Yes, Sing a way for us Cat...

      they could never ever tear us apart



      Delete
    4. The cat don't sing
      At least not to anything

      Delete
    5. The cat can sing
      about a fine king
      who had a fling
      in the spring
      bodies warm they did cling
      as they were full of zing
      ring a ling a ling...

      Delete
    6. The Cat can sing about a turd
      About goats in a herd
      About going pee pee on our Bora Shore
      About dresses flying toward his shore
      About Bora babes late at night
      That can't be right

      Delete
    7. The cat is snip snip
      So can't get a grip
      But gawking at bora babes he can do
      A time or two

      Delete
  8. Only one rock I like that is "Rock n Roll.
    Great post and a joy to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Find to rock n roll
      And take a stroll

      Delete
    2. You're welcome. It was only at my expense, is all :p

      Delete
    3. Oh well
      Raise a little hell

      Delete
    4. Get rich
      Or dead in a ditch

      Delete
  9. When it comes to rocks, I like karats
    But not ones that are orange like parrots
    If too large they will cut with a flue
    This may injure my poor rooty-ka-zoo
    An emerald I'd be with devotion
    Sea-green like a swirl in the ocean
    I'm a queen who knows my dominion
    Let all offer a superior opinion
    The only worms I would allow are ones that till the soil
    Don't toy with me when I say leave, I'm just that kind of a goil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like you have it made
      Flatten the worms that you want to fade
      And could get made into a ring
      To be given to someone after a spring fling

      Delete
  10. Don't know what kind of rock I want to be. Not sure I want to be a rock at all. There sure are a bunch of rhymers out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a rock would suck
      They are rhyming away with each cluck

      Delete
  11. Aww poor blue. This isn't very nice, cat. I believe I can fly but that doesn't mean I have multiple personality disorder!!!!!!! I can't wait for his rebuttal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmm you believe you can fly?
      You, who thinks everything will make you die?
      I don't buy that
      Not fooling the cat

      Delete
    2. HMPH!!! That's not fair, cat. Maybe I really do believe I can fly. It's probably much cleaner up there anyways!!! But, you are right. I don't even like to fly in a plane. I have for nightmares for days every time I do.

      Delete
    3. haha not fair but I'm right?
      Hmm conundrum there took flight

      Delete
    4. She can fly, Cat! Plus you know what I said about that doube-fox.

      My rebuttal will be brutal.

      Delete
    5. I can fly!!! I can fly!!!!

      Delete
    6. Then go kersplat
      End up flat

      Delete
    7. That's not how you address my friend Jax
      You call her Dear and Angel.... plus tax

      Delete
    8. Pffft Blabber more like it
      Here at my pit

      Delete
  12. I think I'd be a peridot
    all shimmery with it's light green glow.
    I can't fly
    so I'll just watch the birds and sigh.
    lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol good that you won't try
      And give a fly the old college try
      What is college try anyway?
      With such a glow you'd have quite the display

      Delete
    2. We both went to college and don't know the "try".
      I guess it's too late now to find out why!
      ha.

      Delete
    3. lol yeah rather strange
      But not too late if ones wants to go back for a career change

      Delete
  13. He either has a personality disorder or can change form through power ups like mario

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha power up Blue
      That would be fun to come due
      But in his town
      It could be power down

      Delete
    2. I knew it
      Are they well lit

      Delete
  14. Would I be blue?
    That'd never do.
    I'd be fur covered
    The squirreliest rock ever discovered!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would you have fleas
      Or be beneath the high seas

      Delete
  15. Oh, I'd definitely go see a blue kangaroo!!

    And I would drink from the fountain of youth forevvvvverrr, even if it would eventually turn me into one of the many disney witches (I feel like that's what happens to all the women who do that in movies...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you would go all evil woman at your sea
      Poisoning apples and laughing with glee

      Delete
  16. You covered all of the aspects of rocks except for Rock 'n Roll!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A rocky situation indeed
      As I didn't use it at my feed

      Delete
  17. This was a poem of such complexity
    That I'm wondering what your next will be.
    So complex that I'm a-fearying
    Your poetry will become nigh Shakesperean.

    Nice job, cat, and now I'm taking stock--
    What would I be? What kind of rock?

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    A Faraway View

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Complex you say?
      Damn, I'll have to tone it back at my bay
      Don't want to go all where art thou
      Some may have a cow

      Delete
    2. HIS POEM was complex? HIS?!!! That copy CAT.

      Delete
    3. lmao a copy cat
      Chewed the complex fat

      Delete
    4. A copy n' paste cat...is what you are at you shoe
      Stealing my shoe and my complexity too

      Delete
    5. Pffft pot calling kettle black
      There at your #1 copy and paste attack

      Delete
  18. "If you were a rock, what kind of rock would you be?"
    Would be a pet rock for the young and old and everybody
    Would certainly be cuddled
    with love feeling muddled
    Would be known all over by pet owners and for all to see

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is a good choice
      In you kids could rejoice

      Delete
  19. i'm all for teaming up you know... and i don't mind if people are a bit strange...ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Strange sure is fine
      By this feline

      Delete
    2. strange works for me..
      as I often walk that line..haha

      Delete
    3. Walk off the line
      Much more divine

      Delete
    4. That is true, leave it all behind
      hey, never know what one will find

      Delete
    5. Step here and there
      A fun affair

      Delete
  20. I'd be a beautiful rock in the Petrified Forest and people would try to steal me and take me home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But would they win
      Or would Tarzan do them in?

      Delete
  21. I think I would like to be a rock
    down by the ocean blue
    I could just enjoy the waves rolling by
    and have nothing else to do

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as it was not a polluted ocean
      Splatting you with every motion

      Delete
  22. I'd be a piece of granite, because granite has pretty sparkles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sparkly face
      Like your daughter you embrace

      Delete
  23. Don't all rocks sit and stare
    Without a single worldly care?
    I'd rather be a cat
    With enough yarn to make me fat.
    Such a great storypoo
    Wtih oneupmanship by Blue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They can stare
      Hide what is bare
      Or hide gold
      Blue is below the fold

      Delete
    2. Oneupmanship is my middle name
      Complexity is the game
      Stealing my thunder is such a shame
      Fart near fire and you've got a flame

      Delete
    3. That is one long middle name
      Could be a claim to fame

      Delete
  24. If I can be a rock that is blue
    then I am a happy even though I have the flu.
    Let me just lie there under the sun
    and dream of flying like that Nun:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a flying nun from a rock
      Could leave many in shock

      Delete
  25. And the saga continues... I'm sure there will be retaliation...or reconciliation and a bro trip to Bora Bora? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No trip with him and the cat
      We can't have that

      Delete
    2. You mean like I would cuddle him to death
      And he would kill me with his breath?

      Delete
    3. Double murder or suicide?
      Avoid such a bora ride

      Delete
  26. I think a rock star sounds good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rocking around the clock
      And can even mock

      Delete
  27. I had a pet rock once. It was actually my grandpa's and he gave him to me. He had his own bed and everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bet he liked that
      Soft and comfy where he was at

      Delete
    2. I can be her pet rock
      Cat go eat a sock

      Delete
    3. You want to get petted?
      First you may need to get vetted

      Delete
  28. If I was a rock I would be a smooth one
    that some child would pick up on the beach
    and put in a special bowl and keep forever
    that would be the ideal life for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect as can be
      Making a happy kiddie

      Delete
  29. Dear Pat, I have two special rocks I've found in my walks. Both seem to be a s tone representative of something else. One looks like a mushroom; one like a horse's head. Both are pale yellows. I hold them in the palm of my hand and cover them with my fingers when I need to go deep into myself to find peace.

    As to what kind of stone I'd be--one shaped like a cat who'd comfort whoever held her. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sound like they are perfect indeed
      There at your feed
      And can't go wrong with a cat
      We agree with that

      Delete
  30. orlin N cassie

    we gotta go
    with rock bass,
    coz it rhymez
    with rhyming ass
    N yes ther iz
    such a fish
    ones never been
    on R food dish

    a rock cod
    wood werk two
    but heez orange
    N haz noe bloo
    hee looks better
    than de bass
    but rock bass still
    rhymez with ass

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha rock bass
      Because of ass
      We can dig that
      Works for the cat
      Better not taste rocky though
      That would be a nasty foe

      Delete
  31. I would be a rock star
    And drive a big car! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bigger is better for cars?
      Would you go to Mars?

      Delete
  32. Replies
    1. Except when THE CAT copycats my stuff
      He just can't enough
      Of of it
      At his Kitty Cat Pit

      Sandra knows what she's talking about
      Now go scream and shout
      That's all the Kitty Cat can do
      At his Bora poo

      Delete
    2. Poor poor you
      But she knew
      A copy cat
      Is fine where we are at

      Delete
  33. Rock - robust,
    not alive
    better you keep it,
    I will fly.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Me too always like the artwork...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was there a case to rest?
      Your multiple personalities do have zest

      Delete
  35. I'd be a smooth, round rock best used as a paper weight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sit on a desk and spy
      That is worth a try

      Delete
  36. I don't know... maybe a diamond, ha ~

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'll be the little rock that comes flying at your windshield and gives it a nice big crack ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao pffft to you
      I'll curse you out at my zoo

      Delete
  38. If I were a rock, I'd be rock-n-roll
    Any other kind belongs in a hole.

    ReplyDelete
  39. If I were a rock
    I'd want to talk
    And have my own sock
    And a door with a lock
    You might think I would balk
    At a 'gator and croc'
    But I'd sit on the dock
    And feed them a hawk
    I'd have drinks with Spock
    And maybe the Doc
    Please don't let them mock
    The fact I'm a rock

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd be a famous rock
      A rock in a sock
      That is a lock
      To you people would flock

      Delete
  40. If I were a rock, I'd be quartz, of courtz.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A rockz of choice
      To which all rejoice

      Delete
  41. I am not a rock but sometimes I think I live under one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes could be the best spot
      As you avoid a lot

      Delete
  42. 157 comments... Well, that was fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun was sure had
      As many came to be glad

      Delete