Sunday, March 15, 2015

May Not Be A Piece Of Cake To Give It A Shake!

The cat was out and about when he heard a shout. Hey, how are you, or some typical crap came due. But we won't go with that today, been there done that at my bay.

There you are,
At work, home or bar,
Or somewhere in between,
It does not matter the scene.

And you meet another,
Friend, stranger, brother.
It does not matter at all,
As they give a call.

I suppose it might matter,
If you want their head on a platter.
But let's skip the gruesome today.
On with it you say? Okay!

Words are said,
A nod of the head.
This and that,
Then it comes stat.

That nasty hand shake.
Makes my ocd quake.
Germs galore,
Are usually in store.

Nasty public bathroom users,
Or no soap using abusers.
Just think about that.
A pissy hand shake at your mat.

Anyway, they go another way.
This, that and the other thing at play.
Can't they just do one germ spread?
Nope, they shake until their hand is dead.

They hold hard and shake,
As they act all fake.
They shake up and down and all around.
It is worse than a hound.

They slap this way and that,
Looking like a dingbat.
They shake and then slap.
Is it some kind of trap?

They fist bump too.
I really have no clue.
But at least they don't hug,
Do that and the cat would slap you in your germy mug.

Are you one of those 50 hand shake people at your sea? You have to shake, slap and twist and shout with glee? Kind of like hand foreplay. I suppose if you want to get all handsy at your bay. So as you hand shake 50 ways and spread the germs in mass, just stay away from my non hand shaking little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

81 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT!
    Guess who's back on your mat
    Singing a song on a Sunday morn
    The name is Blue
    How do you do

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well done Blue!
      Got to hand it to you
      5 in a row
      Wonderful feeling Hank used to know
      You've now found the secret
      The field is getting crowded
      Appreciate the exuberance
      You bring with your presence
      Being # 1
      Is certainly lots of fun!
      Keep the good flag flying
      Hank is still lurking in the wings!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Hank is lurking away
      Waiting to rule the day

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Closer than ever
      With your #1 endeavor

      Delete
    2. Five minutes late

      can't shake that fate

      Delete
    3. I know,
      I gave it a go.
      Thought I'd win at the show.
      The men are too fast, you know?
      You know.

      Delete
    4. Fast they are
      But you can beat them one day at my sand bar

      Delete
  3. LOL. I was so ready Mr. Blue.
    I'm working an overnight too.
    It's rare I'm awake at 3am to partake
    In this competitiveness at Pat's zoo.

    *bleep*! *bleep*! Well played, Mr. Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My fingers are quick
      I've been watching a flick
      Then I was ready to go
      To the Kitty Cat Show
      But, hey, you're woman number one
      Sounds like fun
      I'd be number 2
      If Hank were here too
      So now it's just you and me
      In the place to be
      Bleep bleep for me to keep
      Now, I'm gonna go back to sleep

      Delete
    2. Now Robyn's in on it too
      Thinking maybe she can beat Blue
      Ya gott pick up the pace
      Ya can't leave a space
      Or you too will be blue like the shoe

      Delete
    3. Your fingers are faster than mine, Mr. Blue
      You've got a firm game plan down too
      And ya beat Mr. Hank
      Those slick fingers to thank
      Then again, I beat the guy too!
      Woohoo!

      Delete
    4. And I'll raise ya a Scooby Doooooo
      Manzanita is watching the show
      Five in a row
      Say it ain't so.

      Delete
    5. haha she bleep bleeped you
      A road runner after blue?
      Or would that be what rhymes with duck?
      She was 5 minutes outta bleeping luck
      Blue is fast to get on time
      But his fingers are not in their prime
      He just presses ctrl v
      And then publish at my sea
      Easy as can be
      With his copy and paste spree

      Delete
    6. No ctrl + v at my sea
      It's science in the place to be

      Delete
    7. Sure it is
      With the science biz

      Delete
  4. Here's a shout: "Five in a row!"
    Doing pretty good at the Kitty Cat Show
    Let me guess... you're snoring loud and clear
    On a Sunday morning oh dear
    No one gives me a call
    No family pics on my wall
    "Hey, how's life?"
    (I mean, how's your wife?)
    "Hey, you look great!"
    (O man, now I'm gonna be late)
    "Hey, I'll send you an email"
    (I'd rather hump a wale)
    "When I win that prize, I'll count you in!"
    (No, I won't ... even if you're kin)
    Here's a handshake like we're two of a kind
    (Blue, when I'm gone, I'll be hard to find)
    "Sure, I'll pay you back on time"
    (No, I won't but Bora sounds just fine
    It's all politics and sounding fair
    Then they screw you big time and steal your lair
    Blow torch your hair
    They don't care
    They want your share

    But first be friends and palls and mates and smile...
    It'll only take a while
    Do you know the type?
    Don't believe their hype.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you nailed that
      As we were a sleeping cat and Pat
      Well at least Pat
      Orlin is a mouthy cat
      They pretend and fake
      Acting as if they will partake
      Then when the time comes
      Beat some other drums
      But oh you should hold up
      Don't be a crazy pup
      Give me give me give me
      I'm a two year old you see
      Just a bit bigger and fatter
      So fill my platter
      Stick them in them in the loo
      Force them to moo
      Then flush them down
      Let them bother some other town

      Delete
    2. My Flushmaster would do the trick
      Or you could beat the fakers with a stick

      Delete
    3. But then they could run
      That might not turn out fun

      Delete
  5. Shaking hands can be a problem. Even women are in on the action.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone does it indeed
      Shaking from feed to feed

      Delete
  6. Hand foreplay, that's a hoot
    Laugh at that until you toot
    If you find a shaker, just give em the boot
    Go on your way singing rooty ka zoot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe one can go boot to boot
      Then for yoga they could root
      Might step on a newt
      Or fall from a toot

      Delete
  7. Lol!!!! Do a fist pump and catch them off guard. Haha or I DARE you to say "did u wash your hands today?". Hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I'll say it no problem at all
      Got nothing to lose now at my current work hall

      Delete
  8. There's a certain advantage to working at home
    I'm never out there to roam
    So not too many hand shakes do I do
    Probably has saved me from getting the flu

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No germs for you
      Working from home sounds great to my zoo

      Delete
  9. The first thing I think of with a handshake is germs, too!
    Why can't we just wave and say How do you do?
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be the better way
      But stupid handshake seems here to stay

      Delete
  10. Most enjoyable to read on this Mother's Day here in the UK.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I caught a dingbat once, then he adopted me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol well at least he was of use at your lair
      As he loses his hair

      Delete
  12. I deal with people all day long
    at times, I'd rather deal with King Kong.
    I hate when they want to shake my hand
    cos some stink or bathe and know no brand
    of deodorant in our land.
    the worst is when they take their leave
    as I try not to heave
    and hide that I want to gag
    from the smell coming from their colostomy bag

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ewwww to the bag
      That smell can lag
      But then that is a health thing
      Where as stink from body they can make fling
      Just hop in a shower
      But instead they let the dirt stick and make everyone cower

      Delete
  13. I try to avoid shaking as much as I can

    ReplyDelete
  14. More hugs than handshakes....hmm, I wonder which is higher on the Richter germ scale:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the hugs just may be
      As then they breath all over thee

      Delete
  15. Hugs are worse. Though maybe not, considering the whole unwashed hands/bathroom potential.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, hand could have pee
      But hugs can put their stench all over thee lol

      Delete
  16. The term 'hand foreplay' made me laugh out loud,
    But still better than being caught in that coughing, sneezing crowd.
    I hate to ride on a plane for any length of time
    While I listen to some sicko hack his head off and whine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, the planes are some of the worst
      That and hospitals where people burst
      But have to do what one has to do
      I suppose hand foreplay is better than those two

      Delete
  17. Handshaking reminds me of men who are trying to mark their territory. I don't find that women do it as much, unless in a business setting. I try to avoid and carry my Purell.

    I wish I could be clever with the rhymes like your other responders.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, no need for a rhyme
      At least you aren't a mime
      Yeah, men do seem to do it more
      Thinking they are hot shit at their shore

      Delete
  18. Throw your cares away and practice a handshake a day. It could be the start of a new sort of play. :) ~ Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it lead to a certain play
      I'd be fine with it at my bay

      Delete
  19. Lookin' like a dingbat?
    What's up with that?
    I'm just gonna sit on this mat
    and look like a pretty puddy cat.

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a much better way to be
      At any kitty cat sea

      Delete
  20. Lookin' like a dingbat?
    What's up with that?
    I'm just gonna sit on this mat
    and look like a pretty puddy cat.

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    ReplyDelete
  21. Going to a family thing soon with lots of hugs around. Now I'll be thinking about that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got the germs in your mind
      Oh what can be done by my rhyming behind

      Delete
  22. I'm not a big fan of handshakes. In church, you always have to shake the hand of everyone around you...I feel bad but I always want to reach into my purse and get the hand sanitizer out afterward. Especially when some of those people start coughing, sneezing, and sniffling right after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I wouldn't feel bad though
      I'd grab the sanitizer and let it flow

      Delete
  23. "May Not Be A Piece Of Cake To Give It A Shake!"
    The politicians do it but they have a point to make
    A handshake is not mandatory
    Just keep it cool and play it easy
    One has a right to be choosy but can still do a fake!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Choosy is the way to be
      Then they won't screw thee
      And give you germs
      Or be some political worms

      Delete
  24. I don't blame you for not shaking people's hands. I know a lot of people don't wash their hands after using the rest room. That's disgusting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, nasty as can be
      And I've seen plenty

      Delete
  25. I was peeing in the stall at the gym last week and the lady next to me flushed and walked right past my stall and out the door. I was seriously tempted to scream "Get back in here and wash your hands!" This is why I always wipe those machines down before getting on them, then again when getting off. So, so gross the germs that are probably all over those machines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, gym is like the 4th germiest place going
      After hospitals, schools, and an airport showing

      Delete
  26. My timing if off
    So late to you loft ~
    The only shake I want is a milkshake
    Let the rest eat cake, for goodness sake.
    I'm off to wash my hand
    Take it easy in rhyming land

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wash your hand
      Only one in your land
      But then you are late
      For a very important date

      Delete
  27. And that's why I keep hand sanitizer with me at all times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best way to be
      Staying germ free

      Delete
  28. Hands are how most every germ is spread

    ReplyDelete
  29. I try never to shake hands. Who knows where they had them last and what they did with them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is the way to be
      And it sure does skeeve me

      Delete
  30. I'm more a hugger
    Sometimes I shake
    But I don't have a phobia
    Too big a deal we make

    But I know for OCD-ers
    It can be a real pain
    I guess you just have to nod
    Or shoo them off with a cane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that works for me
      Then i stay germ free

      Delete
  31. Some hands I won't shake
    Germs make me quake!

    ReplyDelete