Saturday, March 28, 2015

We Estimate That We Control Your Fate!

So the cat had to call for a number thingy the other day, yeah Pat did because my meowing only goes one way, and the first thing they said was we'll get to you when we get out of bed. What, don't believe me? Just follow along with my rhyming spree.

Call #1 was such fun,
They said oopsy you're done.
Call back tomorrow.
Your time we will borrow.

Call #2 a repeat.
Hates those at my street.
But beats a remake.
Drown those in a lake.

Call #3, a big yippee.
They are at their sea.
Oopsy, still a bad fate,
Because you have to wait.

30-60 minutes is your wait time.
That is not a crime.
You are reminded it is an estimation.
Shhh not that much of a guestimation.

Just sit and hold the phone to your ear,
We will soon be near.
The phone companies will dance with glee.
Long distance charges added up on thee.

Bah, forget toll free.
We just want to screw thee.
Not in a fun way.
Screw you out of pay.

Maybe you'll give up.
Then more money in our cup.
Damn stubborn cat.
Go chew on a rat.

You still here?
Gonna be another 30 minutes I fear.
We said that 60 minutes ago.
What do we know?

Not much I guess.
Hey, at least we confess.
Enjoy the tune while we slumber.
You will soon get your number.

A number for another number.
Like swapping a pickle for a cucumber?
One is bigger I suppose.
Wait while we put on some clothes.

Yeah, Pat had to hold the phone up for a few hours. My he sure has such powers. That whole half a pound phone might make weak humans groan.  What was it for? To kick the IRS out of my shore. Get that EIN number so they don't take 30% of my dough. Damn withholding crap at my Canadian show. And turns out you no longer need it anyway, as Amazon changed it so my tax id here will suffice on display. All that for nothing at all. At least I wasn't charged long distance for the call. So now I get the whole, very small, mass. If we're lucky at least it can buy cat food for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

62 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT!
    Blue is back on your mat
    How do you feel about that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everything beat a remake
    Give me a brake
    Sixty minutes... that's it
    Those people are full of spit
    Trying to milk you like a cow
    Flip them that bird right now
    The IRS can eat a stone
    Or suck on a dry bone
    A whole very small mass?
    Those folks got class
    Flip them that bird again
    Or count till ten

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they ate a stone
      Then they'd moan
      And make you wait more
      As they passed something of lore
      But if it got stuck
      Then you could be in luck

      Delete
  3. Good job, Mr. Blue
    I thought I might pull through
    But I rested my eyes
    And - no surprise -
    I didn't make it here first
    But second's not the worst

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't doze off a bit
      Or Blue will get you because of it

      Delete
  4. Pat did a good job, I take my hat off to him( only I don't wear one.)
    Enjoy your week-end.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh that bloody IRS
    Can make anyone's life one big mess.
    Let's make their lives tiny horrors
    And dump chipmunks in all their drawers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that sounds like a plan
      Chipmunks though may not be a fan

      Delete
  6. I still need to do everyone's taxes. I can't believe your wait but then again it makes sense. I've been reading the Veteran Affairs website to see what help I can get my mother and there is so much posted but little about what they can do. Mostly how they do stuff and repetitive as heck.
    Makes me think of the joke, "We are from the government and we have come to help."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait time can surely suck
      And they like to pass the buck
      I still have to do a few taxes here
      When to the other sea I get near

      Delete
  7. Nothing worse than hanging on the phone
    As the elevator music does drone.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On and on it goes
      Sinking to new lows

      Delete
  8. Oh THAT, the old waiting trick
    While I sit there like a brick
    I could tear my hair out by the roots
    When they answer, don't call me Toots

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha then you'd give them a mouth full I bet
      If toots was met

      Delete
  9. I hate sitting on the phone and waiting and waiting. Drives me nuts.
    Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it does indeed
      When it takes seed

      Delete
  10. I'm glad the internet reduced the constant running into this problem

    I remember voting for the stupid little award shows and every single time, the lines would be jammed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never voted for those
      But can imagine the woes

      Delete
  11. Ugh. Tax time. I'm been getting mine ready for my accountant. Have an appointment on Monday. I'll be glad when it's done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, glad when it is done
      As it is not fun

      Delete
  12. That sounds like some very taxing conversations!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taxing they can be
      30 mins later at ones sea

      Delete
  13. Sorry about your problems with the IRS. They can cause a big mess.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Yeah amazon changed and now my Canada tax id works fine
      So I had no need to sit on the line

      Delete
  15. Crazy insane, those kinds of calls. Makes me want to kill someone, and I'm a generally non-violent person!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha we know what makes you violent now
      Those calls do make one want to have a cow

      Delete
  16. Nothing drives me crazier than waiting on the phone forever

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know how crazy is waiting at phone!!
    I hate that!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate is the right word
      As I flip it the bird

      Delete
  18. I hate sitting with the phone at my ear
    when someone on the other end is slurping their beer
    and I wait and wait to find out my fate
    by the time they answer it is too late
    and I have missed a very important date!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That seems to be the way
      And you don't want to hang up because then you'll have to do it again another day

      Delete
  19. More than a 2 min phone call and you didn't use speaker phone??? Smh!! Too funny that you didn't even need it after all that. I hate waiting but I hate even more hitting a million buttons before u have to wait to speak to someone. Sigh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was at work
      So speaker phone had to be avoided due to those that lurk

      Delete
  20. Oh, poor cat,
    how you can take that:
    become a small mass
    unable even to pass the gas
    from little still Rhyming ass...

    The phone, the problems
    so resonate within...
    the tune they give you
    to enjoy the routine
    and send to new parties
    to celebrate the feast
    so I bless while it works
    the 'don't call' list...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't pass gas
      Not even with class
      That would sure suck
      One may sure cluck
      Try anything I suppose
      Oh the phone woes

      Delete
  21. As Jax already told you
    as she gently did scold you.
    If I was on hold I'd moan,
    but I'd sure use speaker phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moan so all could hear
      That you were near?

      Delete
  22. I'm on my usual 10 hours late
    make a lousy date,
    let the phone wait
    while I constipate. (what?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know there is a pill for that
      Sounds like you need one, stat

      Delete
  23. I hate tax time ... My Hubs holes up with papers all around him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Piles to the sky
      Around the poor guy

      Delete
  24. Ah, that stinks that you didn't really need it anyway. But it's good that you didn't too, right? I had an overcharge (double charge) on a credit card once. They made me hold so long I finally got a msg. saying, "we're sorry, it is now after hours." Those dirty rats...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol wow that is just plain rude
      I'd want to give them attitude

      Delete
    2. If you tried, they'd just put you on hold. ;)

      Delete
    3. lmao that is true
      Screw either way at your zoo

      Delete
  25. So frustrating to deal with calls like that
    when you are kept forever on hold
    I tend to put the phone on speaker
    and then use the time for clothes to fold

    what I hate is the messages they keep repeating
    would rather listen to music or dead air
    but then I guess they want you to know that
    someone is actually there

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah the repeat crap
      I wish they'd blow off the map
      Once or twice is enough
      Then shove that stuff

      Delete
  26. I hate making and wasting my time over phone calls ~ They make you wait and wait ~ Have a good weekend Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
  27. Argh - pain in the arse
    Waiting is such a farce
    Want to give them the finger
    If I have to forever linger

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but they can't see
      So only good for thee

      Delete
  28. Nothing worse than sitting there and then it is not needed or wrong spot or whatever

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, pain in the butt
      At any old hut

      Delete
  29. I hate using the phone in any situation, but being put on hold sure causes irritation.
    The IRS are bums for making you wait.
    No wonder why they get so much hate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate the deserve indeed
      For the wait and greedy bums taking seed

      Delete