Monday, May 11, 2015

200,000+ Words Today With 25, Yep, 25 On Display!!!!!!!!!!!

So the secret project the cat mentioned a while back, when you all picked the covers at my shack, is now officially done. It does not have a rhyming run. But it still has Cassie and I and Pat, or at least some version on where we are at. 200,000+ words and 25 books came due as we add to the pile at our zoo.

What would happen if a shit-sicle fell from the sky? Well for Pat, life changes and a colorful cast of characters surround him as he continues to strive to do nothing. I mean write, but that is doing nothing. From hairless armpits to what would happen if water and clumping kitty litter was thrown on a pervs dick all come into play. Did I mention there is a mystery at play?

All of the above and so much more as 25 episodes of Imagine That are released today at our shore!

Warning The Following May Offend Some Humans. Human Discretion Is Advised.

Pat is on his way to work when a traffic jam slows things down. He spots two humans arguing and gets out of the car. His best, or worst, mistake ever. Life is totally changed upon meeting Crazy Eye, The Ex Mountie and other colorful characters. By the end of the day Pat will know shit truly happens.

Pat is shocked by Crazy Eye and now can't shut up. He has to explain everything in detail. Pat also can't remember the night before. To make matters worse The American has moved into his building and The Researcher reveals they made a deal when he was drunk. A deal that could be nine months in the making.

Pat is just learning to deal with Crazy Eye owning his apartment building, The American living above him and The Researcher becoming a part of his life, when The Repeater moves in next door. She can't sing and he can't shut her up. Will his bet with The American do the trick?

Pat and The Researcher have their first date. Things don't go as planned when they suspect the waiter of wanting to go postal on the place. Meanwhile The American and Crazy Eye are determined to save the day.

Pat has to go to the dentist twice in one day. Dr. Fluoride won't take no for an answer when it comes to his fluoride. The more Pat protests the angrier he gets. But could Dr. Fluoride be holding onto a secret that Pat will expose?

Crazy Eye hires building contractors to renovate Pat and The Researcher's apartment. Pat is not impressed with Large Arms and Handy Stripper upon seeing them. He soon find out his assumption was right and by the end of the day he'll have to burn his bed.

Pat takes The Researcher home to meet the family. Profanity Granny does not think much of him keeping her secret. Pat and The Researcher have to deal with plenty while The American learns he truly has a gift, which gets him dubbed, The Baby Maker.

After losing their instructor Pat gets roped into teaching yoga to a class of pregnant women. The American and Crazy Eye enjoy the show from afar and not so far as Pat fakes his way through it. Everyone soon learns why you never do yoga in public.

Crazy Eye gets his very own photo shoot where he is forced to dress like a pirate and cover his crazy eye. The Researcher has trouble at the grocery store. Pat ends up making two drunks think he is a figment of their imagination. And The American has a run in with Dr. Doitall while trying to buy a gun.

Pat, The Researcher, Crazy Eye and The American all get locked in an electronics store. There is only one huge TV left and Crazy Eye wants it. TV Guy won't let it go. The tensions rise as they all remain stuck and pissy toilet water even comes into play.

The American and Pat become lifeguards at Sports Plaza. After a bet with Crazy Eye, The American is hell bent on getting laid. Pat is surprised to see The Researcher and The American has his first meeting with Rule Nazi. Hairless armpits and pimple filled backs are also in play.

Large Arms comes back with an army of bible thumpers declaring Pat the devil. Actual thumping takes place within the walls of the apartment building driving everyone nuts. The American takes up his first day of working for free. 

Pat finally has a plan ready to break into Future Presents and find out what is going on in there. Upon breaking in he finds The Researcher being kidnapped. After a well meaning attempt both are thrown in back a van. Together with The American and Crazy Eye they have to trample through the Canadian wilderness with the kidnappers hot on their trail.

Pat, The Researcher, Crazy Eye and The American are trying to stay one step ahead of everyone. The kidnappers are still after them, a pair of hillbillies both named Banjo want them dead and Mexican drug runners are also in play. It shapes up to be a stand off like no other as they keep their pellet guns at the ready.

Pat is told by everyone that a big storm is coming. He and The Researcher go to Costco to stalk up and things don't go as planned. Crazy Eye tightens up things at the apartment building. While Rule Nazi experiments with making The American more docile, handcuffs are involved.

 A gene scanner has been stolen at the Future Presents Christmas party and now no one can leave. Pat picks out the culprit by using his that guy theory. But Crazy Eye gets the blame. At first no one believes him but as the night drags on and Screw Up starts acting peculiar, Pat's theory may be dead on.

Crazy Eye found a new tenant and she loves birds. Pat finds that out when her escaped crow smashes into his window. But not only does Bird Lady love her birds, she also loves Crazy Eye and they are getting married right away. Both The Researcher and Pat know something is fishy while The American is too consumed with Rule Nazi to notice.

Pat drops a check that Crazy Eye had given him for saving his life. Vegan Lady is the one to find it. She pretends she did not see the amount and then things get frisky. Pat's meat also gets thrown out. After such advances Pat has no choice but to call in The Researcher for back up.

The Researcher has a seminar to attend and Pat gets dragged along with her. Crazy Eye and The American are already seated when they arrive. Nose Hair begins his presentation and Pat finds him the most stupid guru ever. He, The Researcher and Crazy Eye soon learn why.

The Researcher gets promoted for all her hard work. At first she thinks it is a great idea, but between dealing with whiny employees, The Director and The General's advances, and not being able to work on her research into curing stupid, she soon learns the promotion was not a good idea.

Crazy Eye accepts a con man as a tenant only to try and pull a con on him. Pat doesn't think Crazy Eye has it in him, but with a little help from The Researcher, Crazy Eye thinks he can pull it off.

Pat takes The American to Dr. Tryitall to see about his back pimples. After a day of treatment The American starts to notice changes. Something is happening. The Researcher and Crazy Eye are their for the grand finale. Upon his actual diagnosis The American becomes a YouTube star.

Pat takes The Researcher gambling for the first time while they wait to see a kiddie band. Pat is less than thrilled but Crazy Eye and The Researcher seem to have something planned. The American tries to get his own groupies while Profanity Granny shows up to let Pat know what a little shit he is.

After one car was stripped and another thrown away due to The American's pollution, Pat finally decides to break down and buy a car. Pat, being cheap, goes to a less than reputable car lot. The four soon learn that Big Dick and Perky Seller are not what they seem.

Pat finally corners Crazy Eye and tries to force information out of him on how he knows the things he does. But before Pat could save him Crazy Eye is kidnapped and taken to Future Presents. Now it is up to Pat and The American to save him and maybe The Researcher as well.

And finally that big project is done. At least season one. Took a few months to get 25 episodes to come due. But it was fun through and through. Some stuff in there about Pat as well. He sure wasn't afraid to tell. Or maybe that was me as it was all written by the cat at our sea. Supposedly anyway. So what do you think at my bay? Ready for 25 episodes to come due? Think that is more than a few? Yep, they are actual episodes of stuff. Sometimes hillbillies pop out and get rough. The Banjos are mean. They make quite the scene. 200,000+ words and 25 books have now come to pass. I think I am going to go rest my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

98 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. lol went netfix style
      With this writing mile

      Delete
  2. That is a huge story! That's three of my books combined. Congratulations.
    And you'll want to stop by today...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huge it was to do
      Always stop by your zoo

      Delete
  3. Most impressive Pat. how many words to you SPEAK in a day?
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do I speak in a day?
      Umm, I talk to the cats so not a ton at my bay

      Delete
    2. hahah, i think the appropriate question is HOW DO YOU THINK OF SO MANY CLEVER RHYMES AND PROJECTS? :) Congrats on your hard work!!

      Delete
    3. They just float in
      For the win

      Delete
  4. Dang! (I hope you can hear the Southern accent.)

    That is quite an epic. If it is not as complex as Finnegan's Wake, I may get it read this week. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol not complex at all
      Just fun at my hall

      Delete
  5. Wow. So, Pat and The American will save Crazy Eye ... and maybe the Researcher? Is The Researcher captive too or will be rescued? ;)

    Love that striving at doing nothing. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She might save herself
      There at her work shelf
      Striving to doing nothing at all
      Works at my hall

      Delete
  6. This is just beyond cool. And insanely ambitious. I love the mix of weird humor. And the invention of the word shit-sicle, which is a new one even for us. Congrats! We will definitely be checking it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because of the shit-sicle it all came due
      Started off the crazy adventure at my zoo
      Weird humor is thrown in to them all
      Amped up the crazy at my hall

      Delete
  7. Wow! How do you find time to blog?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being 4 months ahead
      Let's me blog while resting my head

      Delete
  8. Will you be adding this to 'smashwords'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smashwords you say
      I can look at that at my bay

      Delete
  9. True life with a little artistic improvisation?
    I seem to recognize a few from your compilation.
    Sounds like a lot of fun
    as your little series has begun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More than a little I'd say
      As the crazy got taken up a notch or ten at my bay lol

      Delete
  10. Wow, yet again I stand amazed
    at what you are able to do
    Congrats on such an achievement accomplished
    I don't think you sleep at your zoo

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sleep is few and far between
      Here at my crazy scene

      Delete
  11. Congrats! Did I understand no rhyme. Or am I confused.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they don't rhyme
      Not even one time

      Delete
  12. The Cat is busy, on the run
    Writing stories in the sun
    New characters are now involved
    Seems a mystery to be solved

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plenty there
      A crazy eyed glare
      A nut or two
      Plenty in view

      Delete
  13. My goodness, that's a whole lotta words!

    ReplyDelete
  14. "200,000+ words and 25 books came due
    Pat made it appear so easy, kisses he blew
    Being such a prolific writer
    Non-rhyming does it matter!
    Congrats and an achievement came full view

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rhyme or not
      Still adds to the plot
      25 more
      At my shore

      Delete
  15. Wow, congratulations for being such a prolific writer. Some of those look absolutely hilarious. I'm especially intrigued by the Yoga one and the Vegan story. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the vegan one I went really out there
      With some crazy to spare

      Delete
  16. I don't think you sleep a wink! Those episodes sound like a real hoot. Congratulations!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here and there
      But would rather be writing at my lair

      Delete
  17. Pat you truly must never sleep. 25 books in one day is an amazing feat,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was fun to do
      I'll one day bring on season 2

      Delete
  18. Large arm and handy stripper? I am not sure why, but that sold me!! Hahahaha congrats cat!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao the nicknames were the best to make
      For the cat it was a piece of cake

      Delete
    2. Is the eye Elsie??? Lol

      Delete
    3. lol nope, no bloggers are found here
      As I made it real life, or at least near

      Delete
  19. Wow! I don't think I've ever seen so may books released all at the same time

    ReplyDelete
  20. Holy Smokes, Pat! Congrat!
    I started to read the summaries, then stopped, because I want to check them out for real. I'm speechless at your productivity! I loved seeing you featured on Alex's blog today! Happy Monday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I made you speechless at my sea
      haha that is a feat with my spree

      Delete
    2. Wow, Pat
      Who knew?
      You count books and words too?!
      Many congrats and loads of sleep are due.
      Woohoo for you!

      Delete
    3. Just did the math at my sea
      Blame the day job of me
      Had a rest
      Now back to past the test

      Delete
  21. That's awesome that you have this out. Big congrats to you!!
    And covering a crazy eye with a pirate costume is really sheer brilliance, I tell ya, by the way. :) Best of luck on the release!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol it came about in a roundabout way
      As they had a photo shoot that day

      Delete
  22. I do like the book cover art

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Turned out great
      What I wanted on my plate

      Delete
  23. Whoozer! That's a lot of words, a lot of work and lots of adventures. Congrats on the 200K and 25 books.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Christ on a crutch! This is utterly amazing and you did it with one arm..Did you release these all at the same time? Do you have a marketing plan for publishing in serial form? I know it's difficult to do and wonder what your strategy is.

    And congrats for making Alex list. He's one nice bloke and good to know he's grown as fond of you as the rest of us.

    Ya, I'm being nice and it's killing me :0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All with one arm indeed at my feed
      Yep, released them all at once for all to read
      Not sure what the hell the marketing plan will be lol
      Hard enough to market a single novel at ones sea
      But I'll try this and that
      And see what sticks at my blog mat
      Grown fond of Pat but not the cat
      We can both live with that lol
      Maybe you need to see the viking woman return
      Or some zombie feet to do away with the nice burn

      Delete
    2. Oh God, I'll never forget the sight of those zombie feet showing up on my side bar. Another one was you in one those thongs. I think it was zebra. I could be wrong as that did me such damage that I think it may have killed off some brain cells.

      Delete
    3. lmao no zebra thrill for you
      Was just a cartoon in view

      Delete
  25. That is very impressive! You have to be the most prolific writer I know. My cat isn't nearly as helpful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat sure gets the job done
      Going for 100 books under my sun

      Delete
  26. Holy cow! I thought I was prolific. You astound me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like to astound
      That has a nice sound lol

      Delete
  27. Wow! Congrats! That's quite a few episodes and words to go with them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They all just flowed out of me
      So went with it at my sea

      Delete
  28. Congratulations on winning the you rock award!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm just going for a thought here that the Researcher and you are getting cozy...25 episodes?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that they two are
      But it's exaggerated at my sand bar

      Delete
  30. Going to a dentist twice in one day!
    That would be close to hell, I say.

    My three dogs had teeth cleanings today
    and Violet had several extractions to pay
    Tulip only one and
    Basil had none
    A lot of money flies away in May!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hell it sure would be
      But got him in the end at my fiction sea

      Damn, they sure must not have been cheap
      As up the vet bills can creep

      Delete
  31. Oh my goodness, my head's all aghast
    Had no idea so many books had amassed
    Curiosity picqued
    At your teaser last week
    But such a prolific project I did not forsee
    I bow before thee ever so humbly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a humble bow
      Works somehow
      At least for the cat
      He likes that stat

      Delete
  32. orlin cassie N pat.....

    awesome....I can see I'm going to need to get with the 21 century before the 22nd gets here and get a kindle......the books sound hilarious...conga ratz....200,000 words is no small feat......much success to you and hope the series let's you quit your day job !! ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would sure be nice to do
      Quit the day job and just write at our zoo

      Delete
  33. Oh My!!! I assume this is based on real events! ;)

    *runs off to read Ulysses again*!!

    MOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol has some real events exaggerated a ton
      As I had crazy fun

      Delete
  34. Wow, Pat. You have really been prolific. Many congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  35. This sounds like quite the adventure series.
    the dentist twice in one day, yuck to that I say
    after reading these episodes will I see clearly
    hope you and the researcher have fun at your bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck indeed as it took seed
      But fiction is placed in every deed

      Delete
  36. You've always been an inspiration. This just blows me away. Congratulations!
    Writing is the absolute best!
    The cat is the absolute best too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Writing is grand indeed
      Nice to inspire too at my feed

      Delete
  37. Welp, there's another show to add to my list :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the tv might stay bare
      As you sit and stare

      Delete
  38. You are quite the busy bee! 25 in one day sure blows all the competition away! Though if it's based on real life events, I am not jealous of your twice a day dental visit. That makes me shudder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The 1st was based on a real event at my sea
      The second was fiction added to the spree

      Delete
  39. Hope nobody will flip the bird...lol
    So huge characters' galore!
    Congratulation for reaching 25 at your hall!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A ton sure came due
      Maybe a bird flipping or two

      Delete
  40. Wow!!!!! Truly amazing.
    You are so prolific! I am impressed by authors. Writing is hard work and I'm definitely noticing that as a blogger. I think it would take a great deal of will power to make yourself sit down and write and keep the story-line in order and characters consistent. Good work.
    I have only read your children's books so far: The Divine Shrine and Squat the Robot-- both of which my niece loved!
    However, there is a lot more to read because you have a large body of work! Great idea to make it a true series.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the compliments indeed
      Yeah, keeping everything straight can be tough at ones feed
      But it is fun to have the characters grow
      And see where they go
      Plus playing on real life too
      Here at my zoo
      Glad she lived both as well
      I sure have many indeed where I dwell

      Delete
  41. Holy crapola, an amazing feat
    Nobody else can expect to beat
    Have you lost your mind, your wits, your brain
    I'd be cryin' and hollerin' under that word strain

    C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao my mind was lost long ago
      So many words flow

      Delete
  42. This is quite the feat! Your brain works in overdrive even if you planned this and other posts 4 months ago. I am still amazed. This could be a great TV show although not sure I want to see the back pimples

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol back pimples on tv
      Would be as nasty as can be

      Delete