Friday, May 22, 2015

Forget The Fray With What You Say!

It has been a little bit since the cat stopped you from putting your foot in it. In what you ask? Why that would be the thing that drinks from a flask. So today we are going to give a go things you can say to your mechanic but not your partner flow.

I think she's in need of fluids.
Piss off more than druids.
Or maybe just get drunk.
That may stop any funk.

Can you clean under the hood?
May get whacked with wood.
Maybe hit with the couch.
Could make all a grouch.

It looks a bit deflated on that side.
Hmmm make one lose their pride.
Could go either way.
Neither may have a good day.

There is something wrong with the rear view.
Much throwing of things could ensue.
You better dodge and cover.
May no longer have a lover.

It's riding low to the ground.
That might be okay only for a hound.
Otherwise you may get a kick.
Right to your umm wick.

The gas mileage no longer lasts very long.
That could be all kinds of wrong.
Might not even get a little thrill.
Time for a blue pill?

Something is imbalanced somewhere.
May get the crazy eyed stare.
Hey, at least you'd be right.
Although you may be murdered in the middle of the night.

She no longer opens up like she used to.
Hmmm do you still want to view?
May lose your eyes,
Or be food for flies.

I thought I had a limited edition but it's like any other.
You may go screaming home to your mother.
If you are able to make it that far.
May get hit by your limited edition car.

She seats too many some days.
That could cause a craze.
And maybe, sorta death.
Enjoy your last breath.

And there we are, the cat has helped out humans once again near and far. Don't say the cat is never nice to you. Sometimes you are better off saying moo. Hmmm that may go wrong as well. Maybe never speak where you dwell? That would also get some sass. Sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

88 comments:

  1. "Forget The Fray With What You Say!"
    What's wholly wrong with the car anyway
    Mileage no longer lasts very long?
    Otherwise could be had for a song
    Perhaps it can right itself one fine day!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time to trade it in
      Take a new one for a spin

      Delete
  2. When ya get to be my age and gravity takes over ya can really relate to some of these! There is definitely somethin' wrong with my rear view! My ta tas are ridin' low to the ground. I certainly don't open up like I used to, and when I do, the gas mileage does not last very long!!! And if you didn't know this about me already, yeppers, I'm a limited edition who is imbalanced somewhere!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha your dirty mind got it with ease
      Knew for you it would be a breeze
      I'll add all of that to your zit popper and disco moniker at my sea
      May get rather wordy

      Delete
    2. I nearly fell off my chair
      Check out my stare

      Delete
    3. Drooling are you
      There at your zoo

      Delete
    4. In a hole
      Found a new role

      Delete
  3. She no longer opens up like she used to...nice line to print on a t-shirt, that I might just do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha will get you many a look
      There at your nook

      Delete
    2. On the place to be
      With that on a T

      Delete
  4. About mechanics I'm not cool
    Makes me feel like quite the fool
    I've never looked beneath the hood
    Wouldn't know the difference if I could

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know where the windshield washer goes
      Other than that, who knows

      Delete
  5. Glad these problems don't reign in my zoo
    With my limited edition or my wheels of four or two

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good that there are neither one
      So you can have fun

      Delete
  6. I get email offers for that blue pill all the time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They don't know you're snip snip
      And can't let it rip

      Delete
  7. Watch the rear view jokes. That could get you slapped or sat on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rather take #1
      Sat on and squashed is no fun

      Delete
  8. Things can be taken the wrong way if not clear

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaha.. none of these are said to me! ;P

    ReplyDelete
  10. I live car maintenance to the man
    who always resides at this house
    when it comes to things like this
    I try to be as quiet as a mouse

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Works at your sea
      Let the car stuff be

      Delete
  11. It's riding low to the ground.

    would be really scary if that was a vehicle that could hover

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would suck
      Could get hit by hovering truck

      Delete
  12. And also have a frank Pat-to-motor talk as you drive to the new car ownership.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh the double entendre! Cars are like women, but are women like cars? Ya, could say so. Some have good chassis, some run cold in the morning, some tend to idle and some have great headlights. I wonder why we don't masculinize (probably not a word) cars and boats. Well we do say "I like the cut of his jib"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't know why always a she
      Had to be made by a man at some sea
      Some headlights are nice
      As long as they weren't the plastic price

      Delete
  14. Always listen to the cat.
    They're full of wisdom, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sometimes a good lube job
    Is all that you need
    When you can't turn it on
    You'll recharge for the deed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So lube the works
      And get the perks

      Delete
  16. This did not help me, Cat!!!! Now excuse me while I go took a peek of my rear view in the mirror. Hmph...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao poor poor you
      Whatever will you and your anxiety do

      Delete
  17. I'm married to someone smarter than this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad he is wise
      Or else may end up with the flies

      Delete
  18. My door never opens
    My windows never close
    The antenna was awesome
    My temperature rose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to have that antenna ready
      To rise things steady

      Delete
  19. What a fun post! Reminds me of "A Necessary Change in Nomenclature," one of the poems I wrote for the book "Old Broads Waxing Poetic." Talks about how my hubby used to call me Hot Rod, and how the term no longer quite applies. You know... my joints could use some lube, and my body an overhaul... etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well hot rods can get new parts
      And don't need to be pushed around on carts

      Delete
  20. That little blue pill?
    It makes me ill.
    Cuz when I swallow-YECCH!
    I get a stiff neck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can move or turn
      Does it at least umm earn?

      Delete
  21. Is cat saying women are like cars? Oy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat is saying nothing at all
      Here at his hall lol

      Delete
  22. I got a real mental vision of food for flies...ewww! Lol Now I can't shake it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a nasty one
      Sure is no fun

      Delete
  23. I got a real mental vision of food for flies...ewww! Lol Now I can't shake it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flies like it though
      As away they go

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. That's no fun
      A better ride must be done

      Delete
  25. I like to have a peace of mind
    no problems you can find
    in my car, no rear no front so far
    driving with flow
    maintenance follow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A driving flow
      Leaves you in the know

      Delete
  26. Do you give your car a name?
    We do at this zoo.

    ReplyDelete
  27. There is something wrong with my view... full stop
    If it gets any worse I will call a cop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Call and ignored
      Are you now bored

      Delete
  28. There's nothing I hate more,
    Than spending money on a tire or four,
    I really wish cars were free,
    how amazing would that be?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Free as can be
      That would work for me

      Delete
  29. A good tune-up
    Might be all she needs
    And filling her tank
    Would take care of his deeds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and won't break the till
      As each get their fill

      Delete
  30. Lots of double meanings here
    this post gave me lots of cheer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha doubles on the run
      Glad it was fun

      Delete
  31. What a clever post
    as the double meanings do float.
    Give her some tlc and she'll run very well.
    Even a wax job will make her look sweel.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sweel? WTH? hahaha...

      swell. swell. :)

      Delete
    2. They fly around
      With a sweel found
      Wax job you say
      Make everything shiny on display? lol

      Delete
  32. It's all a matter of interpretation, right? I think it's funny when I say something and someone else takes it in an entirely different way. Well, usually I think that's funny. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I think it is quite funny most every time
      Unless they try to murder me or think I'm a mime

      Delete
  33. I heard someone on TV say to a woman, "You're getting up there in age, but there's still a little mileage left in you." Wow! She was in her early 40s, I think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. damn, that is rather rude
      Hope she gave them attitude

      Delete
  34. What if the mechanic is a woman? Do you just beat around the bush and let her figure out what the problem is instead of chancing getting knocked the heck out?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, might not want to beat around the bush
      Could be better off giving the issue a push

      Delete
  35. Saying this about my car
    it's seen its days by far.
    If my hubby said this to me
    my boot would meet his ass and he would be up a tree

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha kick him right up a tree
      That be fun to see

      Delete
  36. Don’t own a car and I have no mechanic
    But your post made me giggle
    so there’s no need to panic.
    Excellent guide of what NOT to say
    to keep your partner from running away.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep keep them by your side
      And happy along for the ride

      Delete