Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Screw You A Time Or Two!

Ever watch employers work? They can be weird whether you're a boss or a clerk. Not talking the big boss guy. They are usually a blowhard from upon high. So today let's aspire to hire.

Need an employee.
So kill a tree.
Send resume in and out.
Twist and shout.

Kiss ass and be polite.
Whether day or night.
Pucker up those lips.
Do back flips.

But in the end,
Comes a familiar trend.
One seen far and near.
The process is clear.

Got kids, you're out.
The one without has more clout.
Too slow? Oh no!
You lose to the fast foe.

Don't know? Poor you.
You can clean our loo?
No degree? Sorry to you.
Go milk things that moo.

Shh we are still equal opportunity hiring.
It's just you aren't aspiring.
Look at your age.
You could expire in a fit of rage.

What? That goes with it.
We are thinking of you every bit.
No way would we violate that.
Equal opportunity is where it is at.

The job you can do?
That we knew.
But you just look funny.
We want to make money.

Sit back and relax.
We pay the welfare tax.
Don't worry your pretty little head.
You will still get fed.

Equal opportunity for all.
Oh look, give her a cat call.
She is automatically in.
Hey, equal opportunity won't help you win.

So funny to watch sometimes. It is more amusing than mimes. But sadly a lot of times they are full of crap. Don't you love the hiring chap? Now of course some things you need skills for, but they may still show you the door. Leave them some bad gas. That is equal opportunity enough for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

103 comments:

  1. Got kids, you're out is SO true!!!!! It's absolutely terrible. I was on a business trip to Boston last week and my manager actually asked me if I will be having a another kid after I get married. Uggg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, look at you
      #1 at my zoo
      And not bragging at all
      So not like you at your hall lol

      Yep, they want to know
      Then can prepare to find a way to give you the heave ho
      Pretend it is down sizing and such
      Then they don't have to pay much

      Delete
    2. Those elves get work ho ho ho

      Delete
    3. Ummm err okay
      Hope they get nice pay

      Delete
    4. I may have been asleep.... I'm not sure...

      Delete
    5. Snoring away
      Not out to play

      Delete
    6. I was so angry about the kids thing that I forgot to brag. Hahahaha

      And lmfao @ santa!!! If I was at my old job, the Japanese would look at my funny for laughing. Here everyone is so loud that nobody cares.

      Delete
    7. hahaha no bragging at all
      Because of popping out babies at your hall
      A good excuse I suppose
      lol no fun not causing the Japanese any woes

      Delete
  2. When I applied for a summer job at a jewelry store, they made me take a lie detector test because they said "everybody had to take one". REALLY? I was actually hired but came to find out not everyone had to take one. Guess I looked like a liar but passed the test. HAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear employers used to force this on everyone until the 1990s when it became illegal. Polygraphs aren't exactly reliable.

      Delete
    2. lmao you just had a liar face?
      Damn the rat race
      Can do much to all
      They supposedly give them up here at a government hall
      They can be beat though
      Just change the question to their flow
      And answer yes or no to the question you just made up
      Then can pass without a hiccup

      Delete
    3. From coast to coast!
      (Don't mean to boast)

      Delete
  3. Its definitely true indeed, its insane what people go through to get hired by overzealous employers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, jump through many a hoop
      Like chickens in a big coop

      Delete
  4. In order to get a job today
    one has to know the games to play
    how to dress in the right way
    and definitely what to say!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, the words are what is needed
      Should employment be seeded

      Delete
  5. The most important factor seems to be if the candidate fits in. Honestly, you probably don't want the job if you don't fit in with the other personalities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that would make life miserable indeed
      Wouldn't want to work at such a feed

      Delete
  6. Equal opportunity
    Leads to snooperoonity
    Don't get into the buffoonity
    Or you'll hear "Get losteroonity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol making up words a toony
      In this here cartoony
      they sure are loony
      Not wanting to give away a toonie

      Delete
  7. I said to someone the other day in jest that working is overrated, I didn't realize until later that I meant it. Stress from work is never about the work, it's about micro managers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, it is highly overrated
      Those micro managers are hated

      Delete
  8. So very true
    hard to know what to do
    at an interview
    as you feel screwed
    no matter what you say
    it's really all about pay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, money works both ways
      On big friggin maze

      Delete
  9. The one getting the cat call was probably applying at Hooters...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Really true!
    I hated some questions in interview work!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, some are dumb
      And then some

      Delete
    2. Some ask, 'Why are you blue?'
      I let them sniffffff a shoe

      Delete
    3. Sniff and run
      They won't have fun

      Delete
  11. Good thing some of us kitties already have brown noses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stuck right up there
      With a smell to spare

      Delete
  12. Oh my gosh. Equal opportunity has turned into meeting quotas and job skill is no longer the top priority. Very sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, quotas is all the is met
      The rest is anyones bet

      Delete
  13. "Screw You A Time Or Two!"
    That's what an employer will do
    No lie detector test
    It was quite a stress
    Not the right thing of what's due

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The lie detector might be fun
      To screw with them a ton

      Delete
  14. Sometimes they'll hit you with that "you're overqualified for the job" line. That's another way of saying "we want someone younger, who will work cheaper."

    Also the manufacturing market has moved to China and India. The Western world doesn't make things anymore. And then there's the glut in the work force, so it's a buyers market for employers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had the overqualified line dropped a time or two
      Their way of an f u
      And yep, everything is made over there for cheap
      So their market sure is deep

      Delete
    2. I saw a special on Shanghai last week. Jaysus, that's where all the manufacturing money is. That city has grown beyond imagining and more wealth is pumping through there every day. It's so over the top rich it makes Manhattan look like a dump.

      I don't think they'd hire either one of us over there Cat.

      Delete
    3. Damn, so go there and rob a bank?
      The cat would only except as a prank

      Delete
  15. All comes back to what they get out of it and how they can save a buck or two

    ReplyDelete
  16. equal opportunity sadly is an illusion... way too often people are judged quickly by what they seem to be - or not...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, one big illusion all around
      Judgement is always found

      Delete
  17. They say one thing but think another

    ReplyDelete
  18. One good thing living now where I do
    is age really doesn't matter much
    I've seen older people than me working
    and they haven't lost their touch.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is really good
      All can work in your hood

      Delete
  19. Kiss ass.... you think?
    With or without a stink?
    When you're on the brink
    Of madness too
    Might as well sniff a shoe
    Ask Scooby Doo
    Got cat? You're out!
    That's what fair is all about

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With the stink
      Would turn on blue like a rink
      And who knows what's on the shoe
      Could be nasty too

      Delete
    2. I never kiss butt
      I'd rather kiss a mutt
      Or get stuck in a rut

      Delete
    3. Rut beats butt
      As does mutt

      Delete
  20. WOW...this post is dripping with truth. Loved this. Sure struck a chord why I continue to milk the stay at home mommy angle for all its worth. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat can be wise every once in a while
      As he goes the truth mile

      Delete
  21. WOW...this post is dripping with truth. Loved this. Sure struck a chord why I continue to milk the stay at home mommy angle for all its worth. :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. The human's not been through interviews for work for many years. But much of it is ridiculous. There are about a gazillion boxes for ethnicity and you have to decide which one you are!! Barmy!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah that is a pain
      As they let the boxes rain

      Delete
  23. I probably couldn't talk my way into a job nowadays. It has gotten damn insane. Good post. Especially about the part if you have children, you are out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even the best talkers can get sent away
      All about the money at every bay

      Delete
  24. Sure glad that I don't have to look for a job. It must be horrible to find a job nowadays. That was all well said.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The kid comment hit home
    It's one that I own
    Employers don't care
    And won't kiss derriere

    ReplyDelete
  26. I wanted to work
    got hired by a jerk
    He'd give me a task
    then claimed it wasn't assigned - he can kiss my a**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol you never know
      He may like to bend low
      And kiss your ass
      May need new sass

      Delete
  27. It's all a big dance. A big game.
    Hiring people is so lame.
    It's better to hire a walking 'bot.
    One who won't fart or blow out snot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robots for the win
      Skynet will do us in

      Delete
  28. Don't forget the character questions." How you answer on this piece of paper will in no way disqualify you from being hired." Sure.

    ReplyDelete
  29. If you want to stay level on the equal playing field, first thing to do is take down all your social media channels. The less they can find out about you, the better chance you have of snagging the job. My husband is one that will use the social media against prospective employees. If their Facebook page is covered in weed pictures, well, it's a good chance their apps go in the trash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is why I have like two or three pics of me online
      And I blog under the guise of a feline

      Delete
  30. orlin N cassie....

    most lee itz not what ya noe but who ya noe....

    de food serviss gurl haz hurd em all...

    rite now herz countin down ta re tire mint sew when her getz ther de feds can say....ewe gotta few mor yeerz ta werk yet.......go find sum werk....

    knot manee wanna hire sum one in ther 90'z ya noe !!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who you know is the way
      haha damn, 90 is a long time to work for pay

      Delete
  31. I've been fortunate when looking for work
    I never had to go berserk
    But I see qualified people every day
    Get overlooked and filed away
    Computers do the weeding
    And HR does very little reading

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, all in a program
      Sending out anyone like toe jam

      Delete
  32. Replies
    1. That they are
      Donkey's near and far

      Delete
  33. Kiss ass and be polite was always my big problem. I wouldn't do it which got me sacked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, not into ass kissing at my sea
      But I've seen it done by many

      Delete
  34. Some people are on a power trip....sadly

    ReplyDelete
  35. But where is all that equal opportunity employment stuff?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Milking things that moo isn't all that bad... if it means avoiding the dreaded interview... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmm think I would rather interview
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  37. I've heard of businesses refusing to hire young women because they assume they'll have kids soon...sad that it's assumed women are going to be the ones to sacrifice their careers for the kids. My brother-in-law raised their kids until they were both in kindergarten, then he went back to work. So they would have been wrong to assume that about my sister.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, seen lots of dads stay home with the kids
      So some employers shouldn't flip their lids

      Delete
  38. You gotta work, if you wanta eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless food stamps are your thing
      Along with no bling

      Delete
  39. Beautiful words about employees. I have seen many times that lady employees are seen in very low manner. They don't give that much of work to them or they don;t select them. They think it is difficult for them to manage home and work...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they think that indeed
      About women at their feed

      Delete
  40. Oh yes-I have seen people who have a degree but no experience
    they can't get hired until they have experience but how can they get experience if no one will hire them? I have had many a client who dummy up their resume. They are told they have "Too much experience" or are "Over-qualified" so they must take some things out just to try to qualify-nutty isn"t it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, a pain in the ass market the job march is
      Have to screw with it if you ever want to get into the right biz

      Delete
  41. With me it worked the opposite way
    "Oh, you're single, so you can stay
    You must have no plans, no kids, no life
    So you can stay late and handle the strife"

    Grrrrrrrrrrr...

    ReplyDelete
  42. I used to work with college grads. They couldn't get a job with their degree, so they worked with me.

    ReplyDelete