Sunday, May 10, 2015

This Candy Doesn't Sound Dandy!

Did you know that there is some strange candy out there? You humans are nuts at your lair. Nerds and gummi bears and tootsie rolls, oh my. But they aren't the weird ones they want you to try.

It's Big Nuts!
Add pounds to butts.
Give the bar a whirl.
Nuts for a boy and girl.

It's Crackheads!
No need for meds.
Just have some chocolate cover espresso.
Warning, might make you mess umm go.

Wiener Nougats R Us!
They are all the fuss.
Grab a wiener and dig in.
Mix with spotted dick for the win.

Cream Collon is here.
Mmmm have no fear.
Just give it a lick.
Might do the trick.

Ayds are ready!
Eat them steady.
Keep the Dr. away,
With Ayds each day.

Haribo Creamy Dreams!
Fed to baseball teams.
Wait! I can get you some for free.
Let me hawk up a hairball for thee.

Crunky just for you?
A funky monkey coming due?
You still might get chunky,
Chowing down on old crunky.

Asse is just for you.
Yep, really it is true.
Something may have got lost in translation.
Don't Asse bars bring you elation?

A Nut Milk bar!
You will go far.
That nutty milk goodness is great.
Want to add one to your plate?

And finally one for you,
That you can feed to the crew.
They come in fancy trucks.
Have some Starburst Sucks!

Ready to suck on a starburst? Are you left wondering which is the worst? Who names these things anyway? Does anyone want to be reminded of a butt when they eat at their bay? They would all give the cat gas. So I will avoid them with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

78 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT!
    On the mat
    What a great way
    To start another Momma's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In at one
      Far ahead of everyone under my sun

      Delete
    2. I told you I'd be back
      Getting right on track
      Great post
      From coast to coast
      With a goat
      In a boat
      Not a toad on the road!

      Delete
    3. Back on top
      No on the road to make your wifi drop
      Or a frog
      In a dog

      Delete
  2. I only like good chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've heard of some of those. Do they still make Ayds?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think they went out of business now
      Could still be around somehow

      Delete
  4. Cotton candy at the fair
    Sticky fingers so beware
    Big pink balls of sweet delight
    You ain't gonna sleep tonight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, big pink balls makes me look away
      That is not an appetizing display lol

      Delete
  5. now, i need a chocolate! my sugar craving has been a little wild of late but i've been able to keep away. almonds in milk choc would be nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to watch that sugar craving
      Or could get hyper and start ranting and raving

      Delete
  6. "This Candy Doesn't Sound Dandy!"
    With sweet tooth one is surely ready
    It is plain
    It is game
    Nut Milk bar perhaps for your fancy

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could be ones fancy
      Make them hyper and umm dancy?

      Delete
  7. We are quite familiar with nuts around this neck of the woods!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those neighbors sure like you
      At your zoo

      Delete
  8. Some of those names make candy very unappetizing

    ReplyDelete
  9. Candy makes me ill
    No, not the girl sitting on the sill
    Won't touch that stuff in a million days
    (Years, if I had them)
    They'd kill me in many ways

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I avoid it all at my sea
      But the names were too fun not to be used by me

      Delete
  10. I avoid them at all costs as they ruined my teeth ~ Have a good Sunday Pat and wishing you happy week ~ I am on a break and lots of things to do for the wedding ~ See you soon ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugg, to the teeth at your sea
      That is never fun to come to be
      hope all goes well
      And it turns out swell

      Delete
  11. Never heard of "Big Nuts."
    They're not in my town.
    So it's not just some yutz
    who just can't sit down?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe pose the question at walmart
      You'll have your answer even before you start

      Delete
    2. "Welcome to Walmart!
      We are so proud!
      We've buckets of bait
      and random fart clouds."

      Delete
    3. With an ass crack in sight
      You'll want to spend the night

      Delete
  12. Be careful or the dark chocolate fairy will be rapping at your door.
    Rap, Rap Rapping
    Unwrapping, wrapping and unwrapping a sweet chocolate kiss
    Holding it close to your lips
    You find yourself inhaling
    The minty fresh breath of the dark chocolate
    As he quickly wraps his lips around the very last piece

    You didn't expect a dark chocolate fairy to have bad breath did you??
    I think I'll write this in olde English for a saga to rival Beowulf.
    You didn't know the thought of chocolate could make a woman ramble so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol damn, that is a new one to me
      Dark chocolate causing rambling at my sea
      Who knew it was so umm delightful to some
      Bad breath also has minty gum lol

      Delete
  13. Can I just have a plain old Hershey bar?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you like
      The bad names you can strike

      Delete
  14. My mom used to yell at me for eating her Ayds. I swear, to me they tasted like candy, lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol tasty as can be
      There at your sea

      Delete
  15. Blogger just ate my comment.
    Are these real names? I guess I don't go down the candy aisle enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are real according to the internet
      So it may be a 50/50 bet

      Delete
  16. I haven't heard of some of those! I prefer milk chocolate to sweets any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better in the end
      Than the sweet trend

      Delete
  17. Makes me glad I don't eat much candy
    with names like these that are so dandy
    who needs the extra calories I always say
    especially when one gets older like it is in my day

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The older one tends to be
      The less one wants to go on a spree

      Delete
  18. That was a nice read, milky goodness all the way!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Chocolate is the only kind of candy I'll eat. The rest goes in the garbage.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Chocolate is our Mom's only downfall. Us cats are not really into treats. We just like our foods.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Food is the best
      We here also ignore the rest

      Delete
  21. Willy Wonka's sound better! I do love candy, so I can't have it in the house. :(
    Have a great Sunday, Cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha have to keep it away
      From your snowy bay

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Way to be
      To avoid the nasty spree

      Delete
  23. There is a candy named Asse? Really?? I am a sucker for sweets and all kinds of treats but they are not good for me so I try my best and let them be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Supposedly it is so
      Would never give Asse a go

      Delete
  24. My weakness is gummi bears
    for those I have a passion.
    I can’t keep up with all this
    new fangled candy fashion!

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They used to be a penny a one
      Could get a ton

      Delete
  25. Weiner Nougats, Crunky and Asse?
    These are candies I'll give a pass
    Check out the ones in the link below
    Even some for the Cat on-the-go

    http://www.rantchic.com/2014/06/13/20-of-the-weirdest-candies-ever/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I saw the cat butt gum before
      Rest are new to me at my shore

      Delete
  26. Wiener Nougats? I think I'll take a pass:)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ayds is the only one of which I've heard.
    I think it was a diet aide, not a candy so absurd.
    The names sure don't make them appealing
    as the advertisements go a-dealing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appetite suppressing candy
      So candy is still handy haha

      Delete
  28. I have some Starbursts in my candy jar right now. lol

    ReplyDelete
  29. These are real candy names? I think I would buy one or two just to have a good laugh, but I'm not sure I could jam a bag of weiner nougats in my mouth and keep a straight face ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah that wouldn't turn out fun
      As you jam them in until they are done

      Delete
  30. What a nice read this was. Now I'm craving some milky chocolate..:(

    Sophsinspirations.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Wow! Words that rhyme?
    They're like a wind chime
    The sound is like a symphony
    Leading to an Epiphany

    This little poem may not be as clever
    Well, at least I tried.. Whatever!

    Nice rhyme here!
    Poems that rhyme are challenging for me. But they are always interesting as to note the writer's range of vocabulary.

    You sure are equipped with all the right words to go along with the thought you want to convey!

    Tyne | lovetakestyne.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They just flow
      Now at my show
      As I let them go
      High or low
      Glad it was grand
      Here at my land

      Delete
  32. Haribo sounds just like horrible

    terrible name for a candy

    ReplyDelete
  33. An asse bar will make one's butt look big
    Perhaps one should instead eat a fig.
    Or go for a Nuttin Honey
    Meaning, skip a meal and save your money.
    Folks who named those sure are nuts
    I bet too, they have big butts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They probably do
      Sitting on their butts and pulling names out of the blue

      Delete
  34. My favorite of all time are the Zero Candy bars
    I eat them while watching the stars.
    Twinkle, twinkle. comet crash
    Eat too many- have a big asse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol junk in the trunk
      Might go kerplunk

      Delete
  35. Another smile on my face Pat, wonderful verse.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well, some days I would 'kill' for some Skittles!!

    ReplyDelete