Thursday, June 4, 2015

A Fact Stream Of Your Team?

A little sports facts for today the cat decided to put on display. Did you know them already? They will come steady. Of course I went for some weird ones. There do seem to be tons.

MLB umpires can't wear tighty whities on the field.
Nope, they have to yield.
They need to wear black underwear.
So if they split their pants, no one will care.

The average lifespan of a major league baseball,
The ones they don't hit over the wall,
Is five to seven pitches.
Damn, they need better stitches.

In Thailand one sport is so grand,
Even if everywhere else it is bland.
Kite flying is a professional sport.
Ummm do they have their own court?

The Olympic rings cover ever flag on Earth.
Yep, they sure are something of worth.
At least one color out of five,
Appear on every flag alive.

Golf is the only sport to be played on the moon.
You mean that was not just a cartoon?
Anyone can win there,
With no gravity to spare.

Tetherball has origins like no other.
It could scare your mother.
A Tartar ritual where you chop off your enemies head,
Tie it to a rope and whack it around until bed.

60 percent of the rich NBA guys,
Are sure not financially wise.
They blow their whole fortune in 5 years.
I bet that gets them no cheers.

The average mouth guard is as nasty as can be.
Not only does it have spittle from thee,
But it has blood, chemicals and fecal matter.
Ummm they must be quite the shitty chatter.

The volleyball used to come from some place strange,
Thankfully that eventually did change.
It came from the bladder of a basketball.
Can you have a bladder if you never go at all?

Japanese golfers carry hole in one insurance.
I guess they need that extra assurance.
Or maybe there is a hole in their head?
Either way, the insurance industry gets fed.

Do you carry golf insurance for a hole in one? You may not want to answer that under my sun. Does a basketball really have a bladder within? Not being able to go has to be a sin. The cat is done with his sass and off I go sporting my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

119 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Hahaha I was reading my email! I almost forgot.

      Delete
    2. I've got the attention span of a fruit fly.

      Delete
    3. Fruits and flies
      Oh me's and oh mys

      Delete
    4. Alex is a real ninja. He was waiting for me to show up
      In the place to be!

      Delete
    5. Stab you in the back
      With a throwing star attack

      Delete
    6. Ouch! Say it ain't so
      As you go

      Delete
    7. Get body armor at your sea
      It will save thee

      Delete
    8. A star isn't so much stabbing
      More like a throw jabbing

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Good morning Alex. I guess you are the real number one today.

      Delete
    2. I think I refreshed it three times before I decided to comment. If I'd done so the first time, I guess I would've been first.

      Delete
    3. Could have got one
      Three way under my sun

      Delete
  3. I didn't know that about the Olympic flag, And what a waste of baseballs. Wonder where they all go to die?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The sandlot is where they go
      Eaten by a giant mutt foe

      Delete
  4. Ack... page won't refresh
    Tried four times
    Can't stay awake
    To make more rhymes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have a nice nap
      At your side of the map

      Delete
    2. Did I hear her snore
      At her shore?

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    3. Quite the pair
      Snore filled lair

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    4. I think I may snore
      At my shore
      But no one is around
      To hear my sound

      Delete
    5. Not even a mouse
      There at your house

      Delete
  5. What... They blow their whole fortune in 5 years? I guess they need something to, you know, blow hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha - hey you never know...

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    2. hahaha well they did something to do
      Now that their fame has washed up and their career too

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    3. Exactly hahaha Plus we all need a hobby!

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    4. Or a grumpy crew
      Each with one shoe

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  6. I'd love to play golf on the moon! Do you think you can arrange it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NASA won't let me in
      It is such a sin

      Delete
  7. I used to love tetherball
    But NOT with a dead head
    That would be a gross game
    Okay, enough said

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gross as can be
      Glad we don't live in that century

      Delete
  8. HAH, now we know the real reason behind that show "Basketball Wives". It's because their NBA husbands blew their fortune and the wives had to make a reality show to make ends meet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha - well they have to keep up the lifestyle some way. Reality TV don't even get me started. But, this comment was rather funny..

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    2. haha that is sure true
      Need the dough at their zoo
      So they can afford all the crap
      Like the house the size of a map

      Delete
  9. I didn't know that about the Olympic flags
    I learned a fun fact from the cat today
    hope you have a great one at your bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat can teach
      Who knew he had such reach

      Delete
  10. I've read that Afghans
    Are major kite-fighting fans.
    They coat the strings with ground glass -
    No bloody fingers for my ass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, I'll stay far away
      From that at my bay

      Delete
  11. What interesting stuff, we learn something new everyday!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Fun facts! I totally believe the tether ball origins, after playing it in elementary school!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, violent it can be
      But not as bad as an actual head at any sea

      Delete
  13. Beheading seems to be the rage
    Even do it on the stage
    Then you give it forty whacks
    Play the game right to the max

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nuts abound
      Trying to astound
      But all the prove to one and all
      Is their brain isn't even the size of a golf ball

      Delete
  14. Japanese golfers carry hole in one insurance

    reminds me of when my brother took me golfing, He was better than me sure, but he kept making excuses of why he wasn't doing as good as he told me he usually played

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always an excuse out there
      As they lose the flair

      Delete
  15. There really is insurance for everything

    ReplyDelete
  16. If I ever get to ride the Siberian Express from Shanghai, I'll be sure to decline a tetherball game in Mongolia. Whoo, I'm glad I live in this day and age. However, we got plenty of gory nuts that could easily slip back in time with their paranoia and banana brains.
    Kite flying as a sport. They could televise it much like golf. Lol, they would have a few people watching it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol few people who needed a nap
      And yep, plenty gory nuts who give humans a bad rap

      Delete
  17. The cat even knows about sports?? You really do know all!! If kite flying is a profession sport, I guess I am considered athletic there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol see, athletic you can be
      The cat knows all at his sea

      Delete
  18. Mouth guards have fecal matter? Do I even want to know how that's possible/ Wash your hands people! I haven't flown a kite since I was a kid and that was a long damn time ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I have touched a kite in years.
      That mouth guard one gave my ocd fears

      Delete
  19. "A little sports facts for today"
    Does it reflect the way one plays
    Some weird facts
    Credibility slacked
    With a pinch of salt that's the way

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weird they are
      Near and extremely far

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  20. With all the meds I take my Dad says I'm a really good sport!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to be
      With all of them at your sea

      Delete
  21. Underwear that is required?
    Did they know that fact when hired?
    I wish I had another wise crack
    Besides once you go black, you never go back...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol hey it works out
      Better than say, smoked trout

      Delete
  22. A sports report
    To make me snort
    Not that sort of snort
    Sport
    Umpires noting your foul balls
    Wipes the plate and everything stalls....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wipe of the plate
      They hold the fate

      Delete
  23. ha - if you had ever seen me golfing you knew that i NEED an insurance - ha
    smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hit someone in the head
      They could end up dead

      Delete
  24. Hole in one insurance?
    Oh, brother.
    I'd have more assurance
    if there was one for rubbers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol if a rubber breaks
      And the goal takes
      Then you can get a pay out
      For the sperm to trout

      Delete
  25. I wonder who does underwear checks on MLB umpires before games?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no sure I'd want that job
      Especially if one is a slob

      Delete
  26. I've seen some of that kite flying in Thailand. That's some serious business, with them fighting to cut each others kite. The only thing I remember about tetherball is getting hit in the face as it came whipping round the post.

    And what's the hole in one insurance for? Under what circumstances does it get paid out? Anyway, with so little available land, golf is a big deal in Japan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they take that as serious as can be
      There at their kite flying sea
      Don't think I ever played tetherball at my sea
      No hitting in the face of me
      Not sure the circumstances on it
      Could be a payout for quite a bit

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    2. The winner is like a superstar in Thailand, but they don't get the megabucks that a sports star in NBA, NFL or MBA get (did I get those right?)

      Delete
    3. lol its MLB
      But works for me

      Delete
  27. Is that tetherball one true?!??! That is horrifying!! lol, my oh my!

    I didn't know that about the MLB umps, but I guess it makes sense that they cover their rums.

    That's so sad about the NBA players, what a waste!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yep it is true
      Came from violence at a past zoo
      A waste indeed
      With that much at their feed

      Delete
  28. Good to know these facts of sport
    I don't have a good snappy retort
    Except to say I never pay hard cold cash
    to watch much of this sporting trash
    Way too expensive for my taste
    My time's too precious for me to waste.
    Enjoyed your take on that hole in one
    But now my rhyming is spent and done!

    PS - I enjoyed the video, up there to the right! You and your cats are quite the sight!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I don't pay for the crap
      Watching some rich sap
      Bunch of whiners all around
      Glad you liked the video that was found

      Delete
  29. Tetherball must be the game for Charles Manson. The Japanese are just plain weird. I am not surprised by the NBA players or others as well. What bugs me is that these sports people are called heroes-for dribbling a ball or catching one, getting into fights, running down some field, placing a ball into a hoop and making so much money that they spit away never thinking that they will be all dried up by 30. I don't think of them as overly smart either-biased-probably but often find it's true

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it is all true
      Not many smart at their zoo
      And people think they are so grand
      Playing with their balls all across the land
      I mean it does take some skill
      But so does taking a dumptruck to a landfill

      Delete
  30. I think a little ping pong or tennis might be interesting to play on the moon :)
    Jason watches baseball a lot, but I had no idea about the black undies. Interesting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The balls might fly far far away
      I guess no black undies have ever been on the display

      Delete
  31. Those are hysterical. Who knew about the black underwear. Too funny. Those were all interesting facts. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They were fun to do
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  32. Cyclists should adhere
    To the ump undies you describe here
    Never should they ever wear white
    To cover their crack site
    Sometimes rec softballs should be discarded
    As frequently as the baseballs so well guarded
    We played last night in the rain
    Because our ump must not be sane
    The red mud coated everything
    "Hey, batter, batter, schwing!"
    The neon yellow ball became
    A soggy, stained orb of shame

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to the sog
      That be like a bog
      And yeah no white in sight
      That'd be a fright

      Delete
  33. orlin N cassie

    what de be jezuz.......de tether ball thing iz like flippin inn sane ~~~~

    N peepulz bitch N get all like....ugh......when we eat mice heads.....

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they whine about cats
      The crazy dingbats

      Delete
  34. Fecal matter? Someone has not been washing their hands to the alphabet song.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, going out without a washing they do
      Nasty as they use the loo

      Delete
  35. Ooops! You lost the human at "sports"! MOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol she ducked her head
      And went to bed

      Delete
  36. It is the honest truth about the spending habits of sports heroes at the top of their game. five years and pfffft---gone. Lots of empty mansions on the rich-only communities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they blow it all away
      And can no longer play

      Delete
  37. Just watched that clip of golf on the moon this week
    as it's the anniversary of the first space walk, not for the meek.
    Tetherball was my favorite thing to do
    during 5th grade recesses, yes it's true!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Round and round it did go
      The moon was sure quite the show

      Delete
  38. I saw that NBA guys are not the only ones with money management problems--pro football players too. There is one guy who wanted the NFL to withhold salary from the players and then give it to them little by little after they leave the game. Sort of like an allowance for a 30 year old. Yeah lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol pretty sad they need to do that
      As their money falls flat

      Delete
  39. LOL, Pat! My kiddos played tetherball a lot at recess. I would have taken great delight in sharing the Tartar tidbit with them! Well, the boys. Third grade girls are into butterflies, rainbows, and unicorns. So many times when I read your blog, I wish I were still teaching! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the cat can share something new
      Yeah the girls would have found it a bit ewww

      Delete
  40. I don't know a lot about sports of any kind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not much to know
      Grab a ball and throw

      Delete