Sunday, June 14, 2015

Check The Cheque By Checking The Check!

A cheat blog post title rhyme, but that is not so much of a crime. Hey, the spelling is different at least. The nature of the English beast. Maybe through in a bloody hell. Wanker could be an easy sell. But keep the spotted dick. Anyway, on to the check or cheque or maybe checkque pick.

Got your things.
Got your stuff.
The joys of kings,
Or maybe dandruff.

Reach for cash.
Reach for cards.
Blink an eye lash,
Pissing off bards.

They hum and haw.
They roll their eyes.
You have a flaw,
But think you are wise.

A check is here.
A cheque is there.
You bring it near,
Without a care.

It will save you.
It will save all.
Just let them stew,
It is not last call.

You sign and sign.
Asking the amount.
Is your brain fine,
As you clearly can't count.

Ask a third time.
Maybe even a fourth.
Bring out a dime.
Wish they'd ship you far north.

You smile and wave.
The check is done.
All are closer to their grave,
After your cheque fun.

But you screwed a banker,
You got stuff for free.
You laugh like a wanker,
For a few days they won't charge thee.

Whoops, the money is gone.
Whoops you're a nut.
Fell for your own con,
Check the cheques up your butt.

Who uses checks at the friggin store any more anyway? I mean is it so hard to use a debit card on the little card display. You aren't gaining anything in the end, just driving all around the bend. The banks are fast you know, unless in some secluded land you go. Then they may tell you to stuff your cheques in mass. That works fine for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

65 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT!
    What's up on your kitty mat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Check or no check
      What the heck
      I always get to pay the bill
      Making me ill

      Delete
    2. Always a bill to pay
      Each and every day
      Even if number one
      Under my sun

      Delete
    3. Hey... a billl..... I'm number one!
      I'll take care of it... It's fun!

      Hey Cat, nobody noticed the dirty 1 up joke... Goria didn't see it, and she is standing right on it.... ;)

      Delete
    4. Bills are fun?
      They make be run

      Hmmm did it escape me
      I'll have to see

      Delete
    5. Another one and another one
      In the end even hell is fun
      Give me one more
      Or I'll eat the door
      Lick the floor
      And um... a whore
      Not a whora by the way
      Not on any day

      I hate bills, Cat
      On any mat

      Delete
    6. Damn, really have a hate
      For them at your gate
      Not sure I'd lick a whore
      Could gets diseases galore lol

      Delete
  2. I hate getting stuck behind someone who can't use the debit card machine. For those folks, I wish they'd write a check/cheque. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha true, that takes long too
      When they haven't a clue

      Delete
    2. In the place to be
      )ne up with Scooby Dooooweee

      Delete
    3. Not a dog
      In a fog
      Or a hog
      that likes to jog

      Delete
  3. I rarely see someone writing a check at the grocery store but I was stuck in line behind a woman who was doing so a couple of weeks ago. Of course, she waited until all her groceries had been rung up to even pull her wallet out. As I recall from the 1900s, the etiquette was that you write everything out but the amount ahead of time. Anyway, after she'd left, I asked the guy (who was about 18) how often that happens. He said in a given week, about 20 times, which surprised me! I don't get the benefit of writing a check at all. I think some people don't realize it comes out of your account immediately just as it does with a debit card.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow that is high
      For people giving checks a try
      But yeah they think it doesn't come out fast
      And that their money can last

      Delete
    2. I remember it happening all the time when I worked at a grocery store. It would always be old people too. Keep balancing that checkbook even though it's way easier just to check your balance online.

      Dem kids and their computing machines

      Delete
    3. hahaha that is they way they think
      They don't trust that internet fink

      Delete
    4. Writing a check at a grocery store... Say it ain't so.

      Delete
    5. Yep, it is so
      The damn slow

      Delete
  4. "Check The Cheque By Checking The Check!"
    Writing a chq at the counter would be a drag
    A Credit or Debit card
    Alternative that is smart
    Either payments would not raise a Red Flag

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Either is quick
      If they can use the machine quite slick
      Cheques are slow
      On the go

      Delete
    2. Mine will bounce and bounce till the end of time
      And then I'll have turned into a cat that like to rhyme

      Delete
    3. haha hey nothing wrong with that
      Can get waited on as a cat

      Delete
  5. I rarely use it now, more likely a debit or credit card ~ And yeah, the banks are fast, ha ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The banks will get you indeed
      As soon as it takes seed

      Delete
  6. The grocery store I shop at only takes cash, checks and Discover. I try to gauge ages before I get in line!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol watch who has the check in hand
      That grocery store's options don't sound grand

      Delete
  7. Oh man, you whippersnappers are such a drag. I pay cash. It is easy to know how much spending power you have left. But when I do write a check, the machine usually does it for you now. You don't have to sign it.

    Now, why don't I use a debit card. It is because I know I will forget to write down purchases plain and simple. I am a flake that way. So cash still works and that is how I go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol well cash is fine
      Whip it out and don't hold up the line
      Unless counting in pennies while there
      Then that can annoy while paying the fare

      Delete
  8. I seldom use checks any more
    checks are on the way out the door
    with bill pay and cards on deck
    why waste time writing a check!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly what I say
      But many still use them to pay

      Delete
  9. Mostly cash and cards in stores around here, yet to get stuck in line behind someone writing a check/cheque.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankful that you are not
      They can hold it up a lot

      Delete
  10. I'll have to check out the checks but I don't think many remain here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could make for some chewing
      If there are any in viewing

      Delete
  11. I use the bank card at the store
    watch the debit as a hidden fee may hit thee
    I select credit, no additional charge for me
    Those checks can really hang up the line
    as they write everything down taking up time
    some use cash and that can be grand
    unless it takes forever to count in their land

    I was once behind an elderly woman who
    had her small change purse and about 5
    rubber-bands wrapped around it as we all
    waited for her to open her purse. The
    cashier asked why do you have all those
    rubber- bands and she said so no one can
    get in my purse and take money out.
    The cashier said they won't be trying
    to get the money from the wallet they will
    just take the whole wallet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No debit fee up here
      Actually can save money with it near
      The change counters are a pain
      They sure hold up the lane
      lol the cashier was right
      Just take it and run into the night

      Delete
  12. They still use checks? That has to be annoying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Annoying as can be
      When stuck behind them at ones sea

      Delete
  13. Who knew that people still used checks. That bank card is so much easier. Love the story about the rubber bands around the purse. You have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bank card is easier indeed
      Have a great day too at your feed

      Delete
  14. I am all well with debit cards and cheques, though I do not use a lot of cheques. It is the online payments thing that I managed to royally screw up by forgetting passwords and locking myself out of my own accounts.

    To this day, I cannot make payments online. Thank god for cash on delivery!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. damn, that sucks a ton
      Never knew they shut you out if you forgot one

      Delete
  15. I can't remember when I lost wrote
    a check at the grocery store
    I think it was when we lived in Montana
    and that was nine years ago galore

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure a long while
      Since you turned that dial

      Delete
  16. My chicks can't write a check
    All they ever do is peck
    Most cashiers play with half a deck
    Can't make change, what the heck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that they can't
      Better off talking to an ant

      Delete
  17. Oh how times have changed because 20 years ago debit wasn't really around and now it is the biggest way to pay for something. There are a few, I bet much older people, who still like cheques. I can't stand them especially when the last cheque I ever wrote to someone-that person took 5 mths to cash it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao yeah I HATE that
      When they take 5 months to cash the damn thing where they're at

      Delete
  18. I use cheques for festivals and fairs
    Where they don't take debit at their lairs
    But other than that it's debit for me
    Easy to use, goodbye money

    Frankly, I bet it's the same amount of time for writing out a cheque than going through the steps on the debit of accepting the amount, saying yes or no to cash back, choosing savings or chequing, entering the PIN, pressing OK and waiting for approval which can take a while on certain busy days. If you have the cheque already filled out, or even half-filled out I bet a cheque is faster. Race ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you can race me all you like
      I'll make you take a hike
      As I can just tap the card and go
      No buttons or anything at my show

      Delete
    2. lol easy as ca be
      With that at your sea

      Delete
  19. I would still rather write a check. LOL... I am just an old fart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol old farts geez at their sea
      Going slow pokey in front of me

      Delete
  20. AMEN! I have dark, dark thoughts about the jerks who use checks in the grocery store still!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol wow, darker than the cat
      Scary where you're at

      Delete
  21. my dad in law still insists on cheques! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol guess he likes the check
      And won't throw them off the deck

      Delete
  22. Stuck behind those is whole new lows

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it is
      With the stuck behind biz

      Delete
  23. Old people, that's who.
    See them all the time at the auction zoo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They pay you with those
      Oh the woes

      Delete