Monday, June 8, 2015

Step By Step To Get Pep!

Ready to be like old one eye? Ready to step until you die? Step right up at my sea. Step in it with glee. Unless you step in crap. Then you may not be a happy stepping chap.

A step by step guide.
Come take he ride.
Create a better life.
Free from the strife.

One, two, three.
Magic as can be.
Three, two, one.
Your work is done.

Following steps is great.
Start stepping, mate.
Soon you'll be like me.
Stepping and oh so happy.

10 steps to get rich.
Come scratch that itch.
20 steps to get a wife,
Or husband in your life.

Wait, husband is 2 steps.
Consult the book reps.
10 steps to de-clutter.
May even rid you of a stutter.

15 steps to become OCD.
Err um rid it from thee.
6 steps to writing a book.
Read a book to write a book at your nook.

5 steps to being debt free.
What, I can't spend money?
Then how can I buy the book?
Bad logic at your nook.

4 steps to getting a better job.
Damn, I can't go to a bank and rob?
6 steps to eating right.
Pffft drop dead at night.

7 steps to understanding your pet.
A nut case you can bet.
365 steps for your great year.
On a leap year you may cause fear.

60 steps to the door.
80 steps until I hear you no more.
100 steps until you are out of sight.
125 steps seems about right.

Aren't you ready to step out and twist and shout? Life can be great stepping away. Learn how not to make your life go astray. One step, two step, three step, four. Come on up and take the stepping tour. 6 steps to get rich = you make me rich well you waste your time on 6 steps with my pitch. Most, not all, the self help and stepping crap is simple stuff that should be known by any chap. Can I get 10 steps to reducing gas? That may help my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

90 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT!
    What's up on your mat?
    I wonder who's number one today
    At your Kitty Cat Bay...

    ReplyDelete
  2. One step to go to Bora beach
    But it's slightly out of reach
    Win the lottery is all
    Ready to have a ball?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Win and run
      No stepping to the sun

      Delete
    2. Don't burn that bun!
      Maybe two
      At your shoe

      Delete
    3. A bun burn
      Is fine for a Bora turn

      Delete
  3. One small step for man, one giant step for the self help guru who is getting rich.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they are the only ones
      For which the money runs

      Delete
  4. Step aerobics always looked miserable to me. Now I know why!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hard on the head
      They just cause dread

      Delete
  5. Steps are kind of like a list...which means I'm ALL for that. Lol!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol cat shakes his head
      Goes back to bed

      Delete
  6. As a content writer, I've been urged to always do the number thing. "6 Steps to Improve Your Online Reputation" or "5 Tips to Find a Great Employee." I've been told it's because people like that number...it tells them they have a short read and simple steps they can follow. I find the psychology of that interesting...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I've heard that too
      Which is why there is so many top 10's in view

      Delete
  7. How many steps to chuck all of those out the window?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That be about two
      As long as you can carry a few

      Delete
  8. When I was freelancing for magazine, I was often asked to 'number steps.' I didn't like reading them and I didn't like writing them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a stepper at your sea
      Step away from it for thee

      Delete
  9. I hate more than one step of anything

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah can be a pain
      Boarding the step train

      Delete
  10. Stepp'n out with my baby
    Stepp'n out don't mean maybe
    Love b/w movies from the thirties
    Always ready with the flirties

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flirties they were
      As color did blur
      Only black and white
      Without an ass in site

      Delete
  11. What if you wrote a self help book on how to write self help books? Has that been done yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, I think it has been done
      Probably in more ways than one

      Delete
  12. All that stepping has tired me out.
    Think I'll just sit awhile and pout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol no need to pout
      Just twist and shout

      Delete
  13. 1. Step up
    2. Step out
    3. Step over
    Three steps for rolling in clover.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am exactly 16 steps away from my food!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is good to know
      Need to stay filled up at your show

      Delete
  15. But how many steps until we die? Yeah, answer that cat. I am OCD enough to count my steps to from many places.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol hard to answer that one
      Without knowing when life is done

      Delete
  16. I need step by step guides! I had to put a bookcase together and it just had pictures. Really pictures? I need words! I did managed to put the bookcase together though, but not without cursing the people who created the instructions first. Haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao pics didn't say a thousand words?
      As you cursed the poor turds

      Delete
  17. Sorry, no stepping for me.
    I stepped into a ditch and ran into a tree.
    In the process I twisted my knee.
    Now, it's a struggle just to get up to pee.

    *True story. I hurt myself mowing the damn lawn yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, lawn mowing can be more dangerous than i though
      Struggling to pee isn't hot to trot

      Delete
  18. "7 steps to understanding your pet"
    Fun thing to be prepared a few steps
    They have feelings
    Are very appealing
    Treated with loving care they are fabs

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they need love and care too
      At each and every zoo

      Delete
  19. My fitbit is counting my steps
    it says I'm full of pep.
    haha....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a cheater at your sea
      With stepping technology

      Delete
  20. Many step by step guides are only good for fires starters

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least they have use I suppose
      For their stepping woes

      Delete
  21. Steps,lists and numbers are the keys to many articles

    ReplyDelete
  22. Step by step, you won't get far
    Catch a taxi or drive a car.
    Or go for a jog. You'll actually get there.
    Stepping is stupid. It gets you nowhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha what about a step ladder to go higher?
      Short people may need it or expire

      Delete
  23. People do like to say,
    That yo better yourself at work and at play,
    You must take a lot of little strides,
    and soon your life will just easily glide.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easily glide would be nice
      But that would take quite the price

      Delete
  24. 10 steps to declutter...does that include getting rid of your kids? 15 steps to OCD...it's more like 15 days into summer vaca with my kids and I'm OCD. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the kids have you wild
      OCD from a child

      Delete
  25. One step
    Yep
    Is all I need
    At your feed
    Push publish
    I'm in a rush....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easy as can be
      With a comment spree

      Delete
  26. Too many steps sometimes
    to do some of these things
    I rather take my chance and do it my way
    rather than get on the step ring

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, my way works
      All those steps aren't perks

      Delete
  27. I kept thinking about the war movie I watched the other day where a group of soldiers came to a minefield and had to carefully negotiate it by staying in the steps of the guy in front. I wouldn't want to be that first guy.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Road trippin' with A to Z
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that first guy is sol indeed
      Should a mine be stepped on and boom takes seed

      Delete
  28. Studies show that using a number in a title of your article or blog,
    Attracts attention even if you're leading the readers into a bog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bogs still win
      That is just a sin

      Delete
  29. Step one-Open the fridge.
    Step 2-bend down
    Step 3-grab the beer
    Step 4-stand up
    Step 5 close the fridge
    This is the Johnny LaRue steps to exercise. (I am aging myself here)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going all John Candy
      That is just dandy

      Delete
  30. Good one:)
    So many steps to choose from, I couldn't even pick out a favorite:)
    Grin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol steps all around
      Many can be found

      Delete
  31. I guess they ain't no stepping out today on your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  32. It's the 12 step program that does it for me.
    It's the nip that causes me to trip and then I fall on my face you see!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn that nip
      But at least it's a fun trip

      Delete
  33. orlin N cassie

    step one ta gettin rid oh all de..... stepz manualz

    finda match

    well, oh kay...may bee a lighter sinz we iz knot a loud ta play with matches...

    ♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Light the suckers up
      Then blame it on a nearby pup

      Delete
  34. I agree with Alex, chuck all those steps out the window! I wish life were so simple as! Have a good one, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be nice to chuck away
      And have a better day

      Delete
  35. Put some pep in that step!! I have been doing some walk exerciseing. Lots of steps.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Do you have any idea what it takes
    To get a new smart phone when the old one flakes?
    Step after step after step after step
    Add-on cost keeps you in debt
    Then call the phone maker on a whim
    To see if anything will make it less grim
    Hold both button for 15 seconds they say
    And the phone comes back on right away!
    How did the Cat say it?
    Oh, yes, Phhht!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the wrong pfffft indeed
      Here at my feed
      But it all works
      Yeah, new phone has no perks
      Such a pain in the ass
      When that comes to pass

      Delete
  37. If it's one step and done then I'm ok with it.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Well, ha, I try to take 10,000 steps a day
    my fitbit keeps me honest but it feels like play
    it keeps me moving and on my toes
    even when I am tired I'm not one who slows!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I go and go to
      As much as I can with my crummy body anyway at my zoo

      Delete
  39. I'm getting tired of posts that have a number of points or steps to "success." Or whatever the guideline plot is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol there are a ton
      That give that a run

      Delete
  40. The learning to dance step-by-step never worked for me by the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think anything dance wise would work for me
      Here at my sea

      Delete
  41. Now I am thinking about New Kids On The Block and have their "Step By Step" song stuck in my head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankfully don't know that one
      So no getting stuck under my sun

      Delete
  42. Or you could watch
    Step dancers trot
    All that stamping and twirling
    I'd rather not

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A trot and a twirl
      Yeah, won't give that a whirl

      Delete