Monday, July 6, 2015

Something New That May Offend A Few!

Today the cat has a new book. It is NOT a kids book at our nook. It does NOT rhyme. I know, that's a crime. And let's just say, the cat and Pat may be dead come the next day.

Profanity Granny came to be,
In the Imagine Hatt series written by me.
She has a rather rude mouth at her sea.
And I had to capitalize on Profanity Granny.

Why will the cat and Pat be dead?
Why may we get murdered in our bed?
Profanity Granny may do it.
She may not like our next hit.

Yep, she is based off of the real thing.
Whoopsy, did we say that at our wing?
Hey, she makes the cat put up with 10 cats when we go there.
So she is due at her Great Granny lair.

Payback is nice.
Comes at a cheap price.
But if Pat doesn't reply,
If could mean we did die.

Bad grammar there.
But what do I care.
Profanity Granny would just swear.
Pound sand up one's ass without a care.


 This one is true.
Such a scary zoo.
I stay away.
Biting back isn't okay.



True too!
 At her zoo.
Sold a barn.
Hey, beats yarn.


 May have embellished here.
But sure it is near.
Then again she needs the bottle money,
So she can fly places that are sunny.



Poor kids.
Flip their lids.
No candy there.
Saves money at her lair. 


And there you are. A few snippets at my sand bar. The idea just popped in and needed to be done. She will curse Pat a ton. I'll hide under the bed. I don't want her biting me on the head. Hey, who needs class? Not my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

93 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Good Morning Hank, Good to see you back as #1...

      Delete
    2. 'morning Truedessa
      It was a lucky shot

      Hank

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    3. 14 minutes with no taker
      Makes you a #1 maker

      Delete
    4. Because Blue is busy building stuff
      I know you can't get enough

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    5. Building a robot
      With an evil plot?

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    6. A 15 foot closet for the missus
      No hugging or kisses

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    7. Damn that is big indeed
      Hopefully you get some lovin when done at your feed

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    8. If I had cash I'd have it built
      Maybe even someone wearing a kilt
      Now it's all down to me
      Hammering in the place to be
      Just to save a buck
      My luck

      Delete
    9. The cash is a big thing
      I may get some with what I'm working on at my wing

      Delete
  2. Profanity Granny scared the you know what out of me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol hopefully it fell out on the litter
      Or the human may get bitter

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  3. What a really scary granny, and yes they are out there indeed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scary to us cats
      We scurry away like rats

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  4. Your granny bites her cats? She must have hairballs.
    Congratulations, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol one bit her after not taking a pill
      So she bit him back and got her fill

      Delete
  5. You might want to hide from granny once she sees this bit of writing...as always congrats on another book...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol we shall hide away
      Sent her one today

      Delete
  6. Congrats yet on another book
    Maybe a swear or two it took
    Profanity Granny, what a hoot
    Perhaps from your book she'll take the boot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watch this be one
      That makes a ton lol

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  7. OMG that sounds like a hilarious book! My kids could write a book called Paranoid Grandma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol had to do it
      Paranoid would be a fun hit

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  8. that would be a scary costume

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scary as can be
      Run away from that sea

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  9. Oh my, that is something else
    as she curses worse than elves.
    And only 10 cats now at her sea?
    Maybe some escaped with glee?
    Never knew your Nana was so spunky.
    Biting a cat back is just funky! lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol it just came to be
      Doesn't fit with books that are novels or kiddie
      But had to be done
      Yep, only ten there run
      And 2 mutts too
      Spunky as can be at her zoo
      Bite a cat and a cat treat
      Never thought either was sweet

      Delete
  10. I'm sure your grandmother will enjoy her new claim to fame. If not, you may want to invest in some good door locks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or move far far away
      So she can't find me at my bay

      Delete
  11. How wonderfully off-color and hilarious. I'm sold. Since this an adult book and an adult post, all I can is - badass as shit. I can hardly wait to hear what Profanity Granny thinks about black people and "the gays."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol off color was easy to do
      When honing her at my zoo
      lmao not sure I want to go there
      Could get plenty of hate at my lair

      Delete
  12. This one is going to be a best seller. I can't wait to read it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be grand
      Here at my land

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  13. Let's just home that Grandma doesn't get ran over by a reindeer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, then she'd swear without a care
      And eat the reindeer at her lair

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  14. I'm so glad that my nanny has NOTHING in common with this scary granny. Congrats on another book and double congrats on typing without rhyming!! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scary granny can chase all away
      Works for our bay
      lol 75,000 word books are done without rhyme
      This one took no time

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    2. You must be good at, you know, typing with haste too at your kitty shoe.

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    3. Can type away 75,000 easy as can be
      With one arm it takes a week or two at my sea
      Unless I be lazy
      Then oopsy daisy

      Delete
    4. You're quick - are you The Flash?
      Make a movie, ge some cash!

      Delete
    5. haha movies cost lots of cash
      So sure can't dine and dash

      Delete
  15. Charming. I've known people like here. Hope Pat and cat are still here tomorrow.

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I messed up too much with typos and such...

    Good for you for going there.
    Some grandmas curse too much without a care
    Plus some cats ARE assholes and deserve to be bitten
    I just bought this one, cuz I am smitten
    Congratulations on another
    Though her middle finger makes me shudder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah some cats are assholes indeed
      lol the middle finger lingers at our feed
      Sure to get an eyebrow raise
      As people gaze

      Delete
  18. "Something New That May Offend A Few!"
    Profanity Granny making her bid so true
    Creating laughs
    Acting like daff
    Brings laughter to those who are blue

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the way
      It will hopefully go at our bay

      Delete
  19. Congrats on this new book at your nook
    it really brought a laugh to me
    I can't imagine what a gross costume that would be
    those kids would be scarred for for perhaps eternity

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao yeah they'd never come back
      Could save money on candy though at her shack

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  20. Profanity Granny needs her mouth washed out with soap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol try that
      May lose some fingers, stat

      Delete
  21. One of the rights of getting old it to be as profane as you wish,
    Congrats on another book though this one is a different dish.
    Susan Says

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good right
      I'll take it at my site

      Delete
  22. Pat this is a really scary Granny!!
    Sounds funny! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol scary she can be
      But always funny to me

      Delete
  23. Glad I stopped in today Cat. I bought the book, I had to, the title was just too good.

    I love this woman! She's so much like me, it's uncanny. Except that my tits still sit a little higher up than hers (for now anyway). I think my favourite was "If you're not speeding, you're in my fucking way."

    Hey, best wishes on this one Cat, hope you sell a ton!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha she lets it fly
      Swearing from upon high
      Thanks a lot for the buy too
      Sure be nice if tons sold at my zoo

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    2. If it sells a lot you could sell Profanity Granny t-shirts. You should trademark that name if you can. It's really catchy and I think you should own the rights to it.

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    3. haha could go all the way
      Profanity Granny at every bay
      Now that it's out there I can sue
      If anyone ever steals it from my zoo
      Profanity Granny could become like Grumpy Cat
      Making me rich where I'm at

      Delete
    4. I was thinking the same thing in terms of Grumpy Cat. She would also be a cool character for a cartoon like The Simpsons and such.

      I won't be back to blogging till August probably. I'll pop in again as soon as I can as I want to tell you about what I've found that is working for the pain in my right leg.

      Delete
    5. Trademarking costs a ton too
      I'll just wait and go the american way, sue lol

      haha yeah she could pull of the cartoon as well
      Time shall tell
      I'll have to explore
      As I push her away at my shore

      Something worked you say?
      Be nice if my right leg would piss off at my bay
      That and my left rib and right arm
      Maybe 100th try for me at something will be the charm? lol

      Delete
  24. orlin N cassie..while we haz sum oh yur books N sum oh yur dadz sci fi books...we think thiz onez gonna bee a HIT !!!!!! we loves it !!! we see Christmas present on de horizon ta sum one we NOE will loves thiz !! ♥♥♥ heerz ta sellin a million copeez 98 times over ♥♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol be quite funny if this one was a hit at our zoo
      Thanks for the cats and sci fi buys too

      Delete
  25. When I review the book, must I curse? I mean, will it be de riguer? lol Congrats on another book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol no need to keep up with Profanity Granny at your sea
      As she already swears with glee

      Delete
  26. uhm, I think you just posted about me. Who knows what my grandkids call me, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol maybe one day you'll get a book
      Made by them at your nook

      Delete
  27. Replies
    1. Glad it was fun
      As I gave her a run

      Delete
  28. This Granny clearly does not knit or bake cookies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not at all
      There at her hall

      Delete
  29. She sounds like my kind of granny! I love bad ass grannies that tell it like it is, while putting sailors to shame! Congrats on your new book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, she can sure do that
      Done once in a while to Pat

      Delete
  30. Little kids and old people can get away with murder because most of us think it is cute. the thing is most older people know exactly what they are doing and saying...in that way I can't wait to get old...but only for that reason. Your granny sounds spunky:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah both get away with everything
      And unlike kids they do know what they sing
      Be fun to be a grumpy old man
      If I make it and don't kick the can

      Delete
  31. We'll look out for Profanity granny. But I think whatever you do (or not do), there will always be a profanity granny lurking around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that is true
      Always around to view

      Delete
  32. Not going to lie, she scares the crap out of me, but I did get a copy via Kindle Unlimited. Will she kill me if I review it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha she might track you down
      Only if you live near her town

      Delete
  33. Granny's really flipping someone off. Who knew she had it in her. 'grats on your new book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flipping with the breeze
      Making many freeze

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  34. Congrats on yet another new book
    I'm glad I didn't have a granny like her at my nook

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but she is fun
      Might make some run

      Delete
  35. Hilarious title
    Made me spit out my drink
    I imagine her antics
    Would drive one to the brink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol made you spit your drink
      My job is done at my rink

      Delete