Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Spam Free, Spam Like Me!

Thankfully with anonymous comments off at my sea spammers mostly leave me be. But there are a few that get through. They are pretty determined spammers at my zoo. Blogger catches most, still annoying at ones coast. So let's have fun with a spammer run.

"Your site is great, here's mine!"
Said many a time to the feline.
Like I believe anything that is said by you.
Hit you with a hammer until your finger turns blue.

"Such great information, my product can do just that."
Wow, Viagra is useful to a cat?
I talk about hairballs and they bring Viagra?
Will that make things flow like Niagara?

"I have a great reward for you."
Yep, and I've got two.
Are you ready for them to come due?
Ones an f and the other is a u.

"What I saw today made me think of this."
Yep, again with the Viagra bliss.
Maybe they are trying to tell Pat something?
Can't tell me as I'm snip snip with nothing to cling.

"Dogs and cat supplies at a cheap rate."
Great, I'll get a crate.
Then I'll lock you in.
Push you in the river for the win.

"Fountain of youth has been found."
And I'm a blue three legged hound.
Pffft take you rat feces pill and shove it.
Maybe you'll choke on it, just a bit.

"Diet wonders like the stars."
What? You mean throwing up outside cars?
Not eating anything at all?
Or maybe giving liposuction a call?

"My battle against gloal warming."
It must have been storming.
You can't even spell.
Maybe stick to search engine hell.

"I love your site, it's just like mine."
Again, pfffft says the feline.
But I may click it one day,
When I'm out of scat at my bay.

"Followed you, follow me here!"
Kiss my little rhyming rear.
If that is all you can say.
Pfffft is the best you'll get on a good day.

I kept a few of the dirty spammers off. Their language could make any scoff. Many get caught thankfully. I think one should pitch them all in the sea. But then they just have a program that posts to 10,000 blogs at once anyway. Yep, they do that for pay. Maybe fill their computer with gas. Then all can watch it explode all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

110 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No party here
      Off to bed, no beer

      Delete
    2. Say it ain't so
      At the Suza Show!

      Delete
    3. Well could be a party in bed
      If you do more than rest your head lol

      Delete
    4. From coast to coast
      From sea to sea
      In the place to be!

      Delete
  2. Fountain of youth
    Makes you long in the tooth
    Not on my dime
    I'll go when it's time

    ReplyDelete
  3. The third paragraph wins it for me!
    Haven't seen the one about down with American women in a while...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you won from the reward
      Pull that rip cord?

      Delete
    2. at first I thought I was missing something, but then I remembered that guy. He didn't make too many friends out of American women

      Delete
    3. I remember that guy as well. Don't know what he thought he was going to get from that but it certainly wasn't friends.

      Delete
    4. Yeah the guy was a moron through and through
      He was still around when this post was written at my zoo

      Delete
  4. Does anyone click on this shit?
    They must 'cause spammers keep at it.
    Spammers really got to go.
    I flip 'em the bird at my show!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they must be dumb enough to click
      As they keep on building spam brick by brick

      Delete
  5. The worst one is the haters of American women one! Pisses me off every time!

    WTH on your snip, snip??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, idiots they are
      They cat did get fixed at our sand bar lol

      Delete
    2. Bahahaha.....I read that read that as Pat being snipped! Duh, me!

      Delete
    3. hahaha no thank you
      Pat doesn't want a snipping to come due

      Delete
  6. follow you, follow me, i dislike that one
    not really interested in the blog
    just trying to get numbers up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I ignore such crap
      Delete them and not fall for their trap

      Delete
  7. Fountain of youth has been found - no spit!
    Have a drink and you'll be a hit
    I saw some Indonesian spam at your spot
    Making you all hot
    No viagra, though
    You don't need any of that at your show
    Some may think you've got blue spam too
    At your kitty cat shoe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha blue spam up the ying yang
      As around blue does hang
      I deleted the indonesian nut
      He can suck on the gas from my butt

      Delete
    2. I wonder what he said
      Great post? Drop dead?
      You never know
      At the spammer show
      Some are even worse
      Making me curse

      Delete
    3. Yeah who really knows
      But he had many rows
      So probably said more
      Than that as he did explore

      Delete
    4. Hope it wasn't a love letter
      Wouldn't have made things better
      Or maybe he was a critic, you know,
      Like that woman in 2010 at your show
      Started talking about art and more
      As you showed her the front door

      Delete
    5. Umm err 2010 you say?
      I wasn't around then at my bay lol

      Delete
  8. I've had a few get through too. They mostly try to post on older blog posts thinking I won't see them I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that is what they try
      But still caught by this rhyming guy

      Delete
  9. "Thankfully with anonymous comments off"
    No fooling with but just dismiss with a cough
    Nothing to sell
    One needs to tell
    Give the dirty spammers no glory with a scoff

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No glory at all
      With anonymous comments gone at my hall

      Delete
  10. My favorite spam is the lonely lady. Her English needs work, and she's a little bit shady. She says she just wants to be my friend, but I'm afraid it would come to a pricey end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, want to take a buck
      And buy herself a truck

      Delete
  11. The follow back people are the most annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've only had one in the past year and can't even remember which one it was. However, of late, I've seen more out and about on other peoples pages.

    The follow back people are annoying as hell. There's a blogger who has been around for a long time that does that crap. I also see this kind of thing from writers who are about to release a book. They blog regularly, but comment rarely. Then about a month before the release you see them out and about being everyone's bff. To me that's the same as a spammer and I won't deal with those folks either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I've seen that with people wanting to sell
      Won't say a word and then come and ring the bell
      Thinking you'll fall for their trap
      Aren't going to fool this chap
      I've seen a bunch too
      Just had a new spammer today at my zoo

      Delete
    2. I get more of them when I've not posted for a while. That and random people on troll strolls. I don't plan on coming back till August or maybe even September. I should have a pretty good collection of weirdos trapped in my moderated comments. I'll check them right before I come back and just laugh.

      Delete
    3. haha at least they can amuse
      They seem to wait to abuse
      Hoping your blog is dead
      So they can get backlinks on what is said

      Delete
  13. Stop the spammers, stop it now
    We've had enough, Oh Holy cow
    Put them and computers in a large bag
    Leave on the doorstep of Wanda the Hag

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and there they'll get their thrill
      As she stuffs them in a landfill

      Delete
  14. Comments like "I'm following you! Will you follow me back?" are the worst. Like okay, you don't have anything important to say? (Hey that rhymes haha!)

    And they never comment anything else... So I bet they just copy and paste it on everyone's blogs, it's so annoying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, but they don't even copy and paste
      They use a program that lets them do it all at once, post haste

      Delete
  15. Ha - you make me think of the Monty Python 'Spam' skit. Any other spam I can do without though. And hey, Cat Man, do you want any more kittens???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Orlin is very mean to other cats
      He treats them like dirty rats

      Delete
  16. Spam is just the worst. I did not know that they could put out 10,000 all at once. Thank COD. Blogger catches most of them. Wonder if anyone pays any attention to them. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People must pay attention in some form
      As spam is still the norm

      Delete
  17. Ha, the good old spam in the comments section trick. I have to fight them off ever so often.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every so often they show
      And have to make them go

      Delete
  18. My dad loved spam. He ate a whole can one day for lunch. My mom slices a can every so often. The dogs love it. So does my brother, so the dogs don't get as much as they like.
    Now internet spam, you mean I can't enlarge my penis to 30 inches. Wait, I don't have a penis. I guess they sent that ad to the wrong person. Right? It's on the internet so its gotta be true. Or could it be something phony?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol everything on the internet is oh so true
      Just look at a rhyming cat coming to you

      Delete
  19. I can't imagine any site that is like yours
    annoying can be those spammers
    makes one want to take some revenge
    and do something with hammers

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is surely will
      Smack them with it until we've had our fill

      Delete
  20. ha - spammers are annoying and luckily wordpress catches most of them - and i don't need viagra anyway - ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah wordpress doe a good job
      Who needs viagra from Bob

      Delete
  21. Those goofy spammers. Fortunately they are very rare here now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, chased them away
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  22. Spammers are annoying! I haven't seen as many, lately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just got a few
      For the first time in a while at my zoo

      Delete
  23. Yes I know all that!! And they are really bored yes the viagra all the time.and the other : really interesting here is my blog!
    I delete all.lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol deleting all is the way to be
      From sea to sea

      Delete
  24. Yes I know all that!! And they are really bored yes the viagra all the time.and the other : really interesting here is my blog!
    I delete all.lol

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes I know all that!! And they are really bored yes the viagra all the time.and the other : really interesting here is my blog!
    I delete all.lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Three times??? Gloria what are you doing, dear?

      Delete
    2. Going on and on
      About the spam con lol

      Delete
    3. I used to have the same problem. I don't know why comments get duplicated but it had something to do with synchronized phones and tablets.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, the pone screws things up
      With it's triple hiccup

      Delete
  26. Do you ever get the ones that are pages long and not in English?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, got one today
      And I deleted away

      Delete
  27. Spammers are bad on blog or in email
    Best way to deal with it is let them fail.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Stupid spanners make me ill;
    I've got to ask them - what's the thrill?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They make a buck
      Is in some they suck

      Delete
  29. orlin N cassie

    we saw a spammer just last week on a pal oh R's blog that we swear ta cod listed everee ree tail merchantz...with linx .... on de planet...N knot a one oh em...selling pet supllies, toys ore food ~~~~~ now thatz what we call a LOT oh time on yur handz.....trollz

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol they sure must have took a while to make that up
      They need to get bit by a pup

      Delete
  30. I just got several and it wasn't even in English...so annoying to read & delete too ~


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, makes extra work
      As you delete their so called perk

      Delete
  31. hahah, so funny. They're so annoying!!

    My favorite is: "Nice post. [followed by 3 paragraphs about their site]"

    Just hush, chile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep, they want to tell you all about their site
      After the great post takes flight

      Delete
  32. You're just too popular. I keep getting emails with the word naughty in them, thank goodness the spam folder catches them. But you have to check because an email you're waiting for always goes there too. Spam on my blog, not so much - like I said you're popular. Crazy folks love populart folks! And some of us not so crazy folk like them too! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I don't mind the crazy or not so crazy
      Although the crazy can make things hazy

      Delete
  33. Gloal warming, hey. Someone spells like I do:)
    Have a good one, Pat and cats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha at least you aren't afraid to admit it
      And aren't a spammer with each hit lol

      Delete
  34. I always remember when Spam was found in a can. These folks who waste my time and so many others can all go away and be found in some sewer somewhere

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha in the sewer with a crocodile
      That would be rather vile

      Delete
  35. I haven't checked my spam file in a few weeks
    might be overflowing with many creeps!
    My repeat offender is the one
    that says your photos won't load for the poor son.
    He wants you to come visit him for layout advise
    I don't think he's very nice! haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I had one of those on my other blog
      Just left him in a fog

      Delete
  36. I think I was hit by the same spammer that Grace mentioned today
    words I couldn't understand abounded all over my bay
    so I have comment moderation on temporarily!
    Hopefully that will make the spammer go away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I got the same one
      Deleted him under my sun

      Delete
  37. Aha Pat in the Hatt
    The rhyming cat
    Spam me this and that
    Got several spam
    Do I give a damn
    Well yes I do
    Completely true
    One of late
    Was not so great
    She was very rude
    Had to intrude
    With words so crude
    Never mind, dude
    I'll never be crude
    I do not like green eggs and ham
    I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.....Not, before I forgot.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good to give a damn
      And nail the spam
      Hitting each spammer
      With a big hammer

      Delete
  38. Lol I always get the spanners that want me to hire someone to put a spell on a man. WHY do they think I would need that?? Hah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there are easier ways
      Then putting him in a daze

      Delete
  39. Whew, I get a million anonymous comments. I don't even read through them, just delete them all at once. The contests... I think that's what attracts the spammers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It must bring them in
      As you get a lot at your bin

      Delete
  40. Thankfully, I haven't gotten any in a while. I stopped joining blog hops, so I don't get those random follow me because I stopped by your blog comments anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blog hops do them indeed
      I get them more when joining in at my feed

      Delete