Monday, August 31, 2015

Pat's Animals On Display Here Today!

Marg has cats climbing a tree, basically cats all over her sea. Some others as well, such as donkeys that are swell. Action shots she gets with ease. So time for a rip off if you please. Hmm, if I please? Bah, no time to shoot the breeze.

Making use of the tower.
They have the power.
Each spot filled.
Aren't you thrilled?

Butt sniffing in action.
So good it could leave one in traction.
At least that's what I hear,
From those near my rear.

How to fill a bed.
No room for a head.
Fluff on all sides.
It's hairball tides.

Balance and stretch.
Sure beats fetch.
That takes skill.
The spot they can fill.

Four little shrimps in a row.
No bigger than a toe.
Okay, maybe more like feet.
That shoe is left in defeat.

My ocd can't look.
So dirty at the former nook.
But they were in love,
Jumping from things above.

The dog pounce.
Do a little bounce,
Then whack him in the head.
Next, go find a spot on the bed.

How to kill a pest.
Doesn't take much zest.
Big dog gets little dog.
Easier than stopping a frog.

I know I'm being stalked.
Later on I talked.
That thing ran away.
I had a good day.

Here we are with snow.
Closest we get at our show.
But I know you don't want to think about that,
Especially not snow hating Pat.

There are your action shots for today. I know, we are no Fast and Furious at our bay. Maybe we can get The Rock next time if he's not too busy stopping crime. Another rip off has come to pass from my action packed little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

A Hat For A Cat!

There is a cat blogger named Brian, not the Gawker or I'd be lyin. At least I hope he isn't really a cat. A cat with a mohawk would scare a rat. Anyway, back to the rip off of the day. Brian the cat with a hat on display.

Time for a new hat?
A hat for a cat.
But what kind of hat,
Would you get for a cat?

Would it be frizzy,
And make all dizzy?
Would it be bright,
Sparking through the night?

Would it be on fire,
Less literal, and more desire.
Hmm, being snip snip,
Might avoid that trip.

Would it be large,
Seen from a barge?
Would it be small,
And not very tall?

What's in a hat?
A hat for a cat.
A cat with a hat.
Following where I'm at?

But who needs a hat?
A hat on a cat?
A cat as much more.
No need to even go out the door.

A couch on the head.
Maybe a king sized bed.
A shelf or two.
Even a loo.

That last is nasty though.
Scratch that at my show.
But much you can find,
When in a bind.

TV on the head.
On a stand, no dread.
Toy in the air,
Falling on head hair.

Or the best of all,
Where one can curl up in a ball.
A blanket on the head,
While lying in bed.

Doesn't that make a good hat? Think it will work for Brian the cat? Hmm, he may be better off with his hat. His 6 sisters may make fun where he is at. Glad I only have one. That many I'd come undone. Plus not going to share my blanket at all. All mine at my hall. Do you wear a hat? Come, tell the cat. Is it bright, big or tall in mass? Hats off to you from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

A Raturday At My Bay!

Mary Kirkland has a raturday every single Monday. Unless she stopped by now at her sea. I am doing this in April during the A to Z. Look, a plug for a few things there. Time to rip off rats at my lair.

Rats can swim,
Rats can drink.
They sure aren't dim,
At least, I think.

 Can get in a house,
And scurry around.
Bigger than a mouse,
Smaller than a hound.

Hunted by a cat,
Unless the cat is prissy.
Then score one for the cat,
Can even scare a missy.

Missy as in human girl.
Many of them shriek.
Take the ear drums for a whirl,
Could break off any peak.

 An avalanche of rat,
That would scare me.
I guess tit for tat,
For felines sea to sea.

What is tit for tat?
Do you even know?
Maybe ask a rat.
They get down real low.

They can play.
They can run.
Can hide in hay,
Until down goes the sun.

Can get in trash.
Can get in feed.
They have a bash,
Eating what they need.

In the dark they run.
In the dark they hide.
When on come lights or sun,
Away goes a rat tide.

They fly through the air.
They fly every which way.
Flying by the pair.
Hey, at least they didn't stay.

The cat has had dealings with them way back when. They ate the peacock food at our old den. Hundreds of them, no joke, ran about. That was enough to make me shout. A rat army coming after me. That can't be good for my OCD. Ever see rats in mass? Such a mass can scare my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 28, 2015

It's Friday So Go Play!

So it is Friday today and soon many will be out and about to play. I guess we can rip off Sandra Cox now. Warning, some may raise an eyebrow. But it is Friday, right? So I'm sure they won't bite.

 Cat germs anyone?
Might get worms for fun.
No takers at my sea?
You gave him no glee.

 The ass does the talking,
While the legs do the walking.
Did you peep?
What a creep.

Searched high and low,
Like Friday was a foe.
Found and now I'm stuck.
What the duck.

Freedom can make you fly.
Although you may fall and die.
But it's just a mutt.
Can be revived by smelling a butt.

Cassie thinks she is grand.
High above the land.
But that little missy,
Is just ever so prissy.

Don't mess with the grump,
She'll give you a thump.
She is rather fat too.
 Avoid her until Monday comes due.

Kids ruin all the fun.
Still work to be done.
Those rugrats and their yapping.
They are always flapping.

Humans beware.
Never touch the chair. 
He has an eye on you.
Maybe even two.

Don't be afraid.
How memories are made.
Or maybe burned into the brain.
Board the letting it all hang loose train.

Or at least the crazier you'll seem,
But nope, it's not a dream.
Still Friday through and through.
The weekend will soon come due.

How did a human get in there? He can really scare. Are you ready to bring in Friday now? Do you give a, umm, duck somehow? Maybe you don't work at all so every day is Friday at your hall. If so that is lucky. Wouldn't that just be ducky? Every day you don't give a crap and pass gas. That would work for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

You May Get Bitter With All The Litter!

The cat was going to rip off those tabbies of trout towne with litter. But my OCD got rather bitter. I could not take pictures of the clumped pee. Instead I'll give them something they like more today at my sea.

 Birds are here,
Birds are there.
Birds are near.
I bet they swear.

A penguin for luck.
A hawk or two.
A big billed duck.
Birds now haunt you.

They come for your dinner.
They crap on your head.
Like some lottery spinner,
Don't know which bird will be in your bed.

Oh, that could be taken wrong.
That could be gutter.
But we'll sing our song.
You can spit and sputter.

Sing like a bird.
Sing like a canary.
Forget the windshield turd,
That's just contrary.

And if you sing,
You could be a rat.
Doesn't have a nice ring,
What's up with that?

A bird in a tree,
A bird on the lawn.
Birds come for free,
From dusk to dawn.

Or maybe dawn to dusk.
That beats me.
The scent of musk,
They don't let fly free.

Birds can chirp.
Birds can sing.
Humans like to burp,
Summer through to spring.

Birds of a feather.
Two birds with one stone.
Do they still flock together,
When one bird is alone?

Birds are everywhere. They are at every lair. I guess everywhere covered that. Like birds at your welcome mat? The tabbies whine about the birds and their turds. I guess they like fish in their dish. Betsy has birds a plenty come to pass. All we get is birds in the vent bothering my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

What You Need At Your Feed!

So the cat is gonna rip off Halloween Nazi at his bay. I already did Christmas with the Blue Guy's blue balls on display, so let's do Halloween too. The Halloween Nazi is here to help you.

 If you want to scare,
And not do it by being bare,
Then listen to my tips.
Read my Halloween Nazi lips.

Grow out your hair.
Face can't be bare.
Let it grow everywhere.
A Sasquatch with flair.

Hammer bolts in your neck.
Peripheral vision you may wreck.
But don't worry about that.
You'll sure scare a cat.

Sit in water all day.
Shrivel up at your bay.
Look like a saggy skinned fish man.
All will run and really be a fan.

Grow out your teeth. 
Show what lies beneath.
Give a little suck.
You may be in luck.

Get a plastic mask.
It will fit the task.
Add a fancy hat,
And you'll be all of that.

Don't forget to use your finger,
Let that thing out to linger.
Place it on your chin.
More evil points you will win.

Teeth brushing is a no no.
They have to be yellow when they show.
Or rotten to the core.
Gross doesn't bore.

Get some fancy glasses too.
Then you can take them off and yell, boo!
With your creepy, lazy eye.
Even better if the eye did die.

And finally scratch up your face.
Aliens will see it from outer space.
It will look that bad.
Then a fun Halloween will be had.

Wow, Halloween Nazi is as violent as can be. She really takes Halloween seriously. Maybe someone should get her a happy pill. Blood and gore shouldn't thrill. But at least with her tips you'll get lots of candy as you'll scare away any kid that is handy. Not sure I'd follow her advice though class. You may want to trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Just For You With A View!

So the cat will find a bench today and sit on it to play. A bench with a view. Hmmm, not much of a view near my zoo. Can I rip off a bench with a view when there is no view? Hmm, that could be tough to do.

A bench with a view,
A view that isn't new.
A view that stinks.
Could sleep a few winks.

A stair with a view?
Could climb two.
Could even climb three.
Easier than a tree.

A house with a view?
Maybe of an ocean so blue.
That would be neat.
Waves aren't a repeat.

A moon with a view?
That could get you.
If you can breathe on the moon,
And don't mind a moon dune.

A street with a view?
Gas will plague you.
But maybe a pretty car,
Will go by your sand bar.

A roof with a view?
Could be fit for two.
At least you'd be together,
To rough it through weather.

A wall with a view?
A pretty picture for you.
A painting on the wall,
Beats a bathroom stall.

A TV with a view?
That would surely do.
Change to many a view.
Warning, some may scare you.

A store with a view?
Wal-Mart plagues you.
But there's a view.
Cracks through and through.

A cat with a view?
That would impress you.
Tail high in the air.
A view of a rump so rare.

Hmmm, might be better with a bench. No need to throw in a monkey wrench. But that could be fun. A view from a bench with a monkey run. Any good views at your sea? On a bench, roof, the moon, or up a tree? You can share like the bench with a view lass. I bet no one wants a view of the cat's little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 24, 2015

An 80's Day Here At Play!

The cat will go back in time with this rip off chime. Stephanie Faris likes the 80's judging from her A to Z. So how can that not be used by me. Weren't the 80's grand? If you don't remember, I'll help you out in my land.

 Q-tips people started using.
I guess they were confusing.
In which hole do they go?
The 80's sure didn't know.

 A pinball need to get back.
Damn, give that sucker a whack.
Hit it at 88mph though.
The 80's sure had places to go.

 The fashion was great.
Dressed up in crocodile, mate!
With teeth in your hat,
The 80's chewed some fat.

Rednecks were in.
They all went for a spin.
With windows wielded shut.
The 80's weren't in a rut.

 The games were great.
There were top rate.
Shoot at the screen.
80's dogs were mean.

 Red was in.
 Like helmets from a trash bin.
The sky may start falling.
The 80's weren't stalling.

  Dress all the same.
Individuality was lame.
And not just any type.
The 80's sure were ripe.

 No need to shave at all.
 Instead, look menacing at your hall.
Save on razors too.
The thrifty 80's through and through.

 Suck back your face.
A common embrace.
So was the bow tie.
The 80's invented this guy.

And finally it came.
 The game not so tame.
When someone did linger,
The 80's invented pull my finger.

Now the cat is through. Enjoy the 80's trip at my zoo? The cat wasn't even around then. I heard it passed down from mutts at my den. Would they ever lie? Without a reason why. But I'll believe their 80's sass. It is just too fun not to for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Many For One When This Is Done!

I will rip off a few today at my zoo. Who says you can't do a ton in one? Not I under my sun. Even though my sun is the same as the one above you. But we won't go into the sun's view. I have to be fast today. For I too want to play.

I'm #1!
I won, I won.
I'm #1.
Okay, I'm done.

Hank got beat.
Out on the street.
Streak is done.
Being #1 is fun.

Suza got stopped.
She sure flopped.
Poor, poor her.
Stuck looking at my butt fur.

Robyn did it before.
But not any more.
She got her win.
The cat did her in.

Betsy, pffft to early.
She may get squirrely.
Needs that sleep.
So #1 I can keep.

The Blue Guy came.
But he wasn't game.
His copy and paste.
Only went to waste.

Mary Kirkland tried.
But oops, computer died.
That is a likely excuse though.
But I'll let it go.

Truedessa had a chance.
Maybe at first glance.
But oops, I win.
Is that a sin?

The ninja wannabe is here.
But have no fear.
He reads first.
No bubble to burst.

Damn, it doesn't count?
Hank gets to add to his amount?
That is just rude.
I'm #1 in cattitude.

So who got number one today? As I write this it is four months away. Hmm, think Hank will win? Been #1 at my bin? #1 sure took a life of its own at my sea. The #1's fly free. But if you have you have to do number one, find a litter box before it gets done. I'm #1 to the singing bass. He likes my #1 little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

A Holy Flight In The Night!

The holy ghost writer has the Order by his side. The cat will give such a tale a ride. I can rip off the order too. They may come after me though at my zoo. Although they supposedly like cats. But just in case I'll put a booby trap under our door mats.

The elf king had come to Earth.
He was looking for something of worth.
But he found nothing at all.
So he went peacefully back to his hall.

And that is the end.
Damn, what a story I send.
What? You don't think so?
Damn, my tale will have to grow.

The elf king came back to Earth.
His wife was about to give birth.
He wanted a pretty flower.
Sadly he showed up in a snow shower.

The end is near.
Give me a cheer?
No? Damn you.
Making me work at my zoo.

The elf king went to the Florida Keys.
There he took in a breeze.
There he found some flower.
He zapped home with his power.

All done and over.
Now go bug rover.
You're still here?
Hmph, don't give me that peer.

His wife gave birth later on.
It was around dawn.
50,000 elves popped out.
That really made her shout.

End of the line.
So says the feline.
What? You want more?
Fine, I'll add to the lore.

There was no room at home.
So to Earth they all did roam.
They started to take over.
Yep, even ruled rover.

But The Order stepped in.
They didn't let them win.
With mind power, they sent them around the bend.
All elves died, the end.

See? The cat can do it too. The order must love my zoo. I made them all win. Elves may find it a sin. Yes, that really is the end of it. Was the tale a hit? 50,000 babies at once must hurt a lot. Elves need protection more often than not. That is an awful lot of baby gas. It would be really scary to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 21, 2015

To The Mutts With No Nuts!

The cat has to give it up to mutts today. Not that he wants to at his bay. But when ripping off Mary, who has three, the cat has to give the butt sniffers a go at his sea.

You may recall she is bendy.
I guess the sniffing is trendy.
It has caught on far and wide.
In her acts, Mary can take pride.

The butt for scent.
Time well spent?
Maybe for some,
With a nose up a bum.

But a leg humping too?
That just won't do.
You have no nuts.
Such crazy mutts.

No nut mutts sniff butts.
That's some kind of ruts.
Say it three times fast.
Think it's a blast?

Blast of something I suppose,
That may perk up a nose.
Can't even jump.
But they leg hump.
See? Can't even get up there.
 The cat can do it with time to spare.
But they just sit and look.
Such needy creatures at every nook.

And they come smaller than a cat.
A fluffy hairball cat at that.
 That's what I call lunch.
But they'd make a rather loud crunch.

 Plus they fear a cat.
Just watching Cassie do that.
Ready to run away,
Should Cassie make him pay.

 And they need to fight as a pair.
 Pffft, I'll just yank the big ones hair.
That will sure make him run.
Then lunch can be well done.

 One good thing though,
About the canine foe,
They are well versed in playing dead.
 But I'll still whack them on the head.

Hmm, was that a rip off or a poke at the mutt? Bah, whatever works we say at our hut. Mary got to show her bendy skills once more. Geez, teaching dogs everywhere how to sniff butts at her shore. That is just crass. But they can sniff my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Round Thirty Seven Plops Out Of Search Engine Heaven!

So we interrupt the rip off chimes for another search engine find from mimes. I mean who else would type such long crap? The cat would want to take a nap.

i go up and never come down as i go higher wrinkles come on your face

A wrinkly face? Hmmm, are you looking at the right place?

cat in snow saying this snow is getting ridiculous

With that we agree. But summer, so no snow near me.

i am not sure. it seems to me, the bird remember the rhyme at all

A bird that can rhyme? The cat will eat it in its prime.

it's always better to be pissed off, than pissed on.

With that we agree, even had a song at our sea.

close the gates you must close the gates walk slowly

What gates would that be? You sound desperate at your sea.

does glitch rhyme with six

Not unless you are Blabber and trying to make things rhyme. You and her are such a crime.

boy railway current wire exident bokaro news

Hmm, that would end bad. Maybe more than a tad.

"furry art" "pee"

All three are nasty to me. Go somewhere else for your art of pee.

to pat the eyes

You want Pat's eyes? That may not be wise.

piss off 2014

Is it better to piss off in that year? Come, tell my rhyming rear.

jugs that jiggle a lot

Do they make things wiggle and wag? You found a cat, what a drag.

Fling pick in spring on a beach

I think such flings would stay hidden as they do other things so urges are ridden.

Special of the today at taco bell

Do I look like a rat dog? You lost in the fog?

My little head can't play

You are telling me this why? Get a blue pill from a Dr. guy.

And the winner of this bunch is sure out to lunch. Maybe literally I suppose. Could have been from his Taco Bell woes. He could not find that so he made due where he is at.

Munching on spotted dick and spooning

I don't even want to think of that. Even if just food, so nasty to the cat. Maybe the cat should just call them a wanker and they'll be on their way? Why would any type that at their bay? Beats the heck out of me. I guess they wanted their spotted dick to fly free. So ends another search engine pass of those who find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Make A List So Nothing Is Missed!

Time to rip off Blabber and her lists. Has to be ten or her OCD will get pissed. Or she'll just make up some excuse why it wasn't ten. She is good at that at her den. Maybe it's all that shampoo. Anyway, now the top ten list of making top ten lists at my zoo.

1. Don't go on and on like some long con.
That means get to the point or it's bye bye readers from your joint.

2.  Make it easy to read there at your feed.
So don't whine and go all over the place. You'll get a sad face.

3. Off topic click bait words can get views but you won't make the news.
On a beauty blog name dropping Batman won't get you many a new fan.

4. Use the same number scheme and don't change mid stream.
One and 2 and C...See how confusing that could be?

5. Stay on task in the topic that you bask.
You may really love Batman still. But don't add him when talking about a happy pill.

6. Keep the same design or go clunk your head on a stop sign.
Changing color and set up every post will make readers want to give your weenie a roast.

7. Don't add filler, like a video of Thriller.
If you can't think of ten do a quick search at your den.

8. Don't copy and paste. That is just a time waste.
Plus called plagiarism I think, unless you're Shia or the missing link.

9. Don't be a drone at the sound of the tone.
If you are boring you may soon hear snoring.

10. Make sure your facts are right, as right as they can be in the daylight.
Don't just pull them from your ass. Although some of those can hold quite the mass.

11. Don't add an extra one. When done, be done.
Whoops! I failed that rule. Does Blabber's OCD think it cool?

There you are. Aren't I so great at my sand bar? You got a top ten list with eleven. That has to be some kind of heaven. Blabber may not think so. But the cat will let her hot air blow. Whoops, did I type that? I'm such a mean cat. The cat can take any sass. It is loved by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Back In Time With This Rip Off Chime!

The two light hearted fools are back in another book at my shack. This time a Tarsier Man villain comes after the two. Another adventure, what else is new? The cat comes along and the artist is new for their trip back to the land of King Kong.

They sat with the spotted cat.
He knew where it was at.
Not sure they knew though,
That it was a giant litter box where I go.

Then came the buffoon,
From a bad Tarsier Man cartoon.
I really hate that baboon.
He couldn't defeat a spoon. 

The sun got bright.
Maybe Truedessa's sparkly fart light?
Or could be some sort of hole,
Sending them back in time for a stroll.

Yep, back in time.
Dinos give a chime.
Those things are big.
Rather deal with a triple snout pig.

They had to change,
Match in with the rest on the range.
Look at the Arnold wannabe.
Maybe Tarzan wannabe? Beats me.

Super bugs came due.
They are hated at my zoo.
But these ones were as ugly as can be.
They wouldn't be eaten by me.

And of course the loon.
He has been in many a cartoon.
Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
Here Duke Drazin was obviously mad.

They had invaded his pad.
Stopped his latest evil fad.
He was not glad.
Did I mention he was mad?

But he ran away.
And left us to play.
Play the Tarzan wannabe did.
Umm no clothes did they rid.

And once more in sand,
Got to love giant litter box land.
Note, may be more to the story than told by my little rhyming rear.

And so that makes another kids books at my sea. I am getting very close to 50. One day that shall come to pass as the books continue to amass. Plus, unlike the novels of Pat, they have a rhyming class. That sure works for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.