Monday, September 28, 2015

A Tisket, A Tasket, Wanna Buy A Casket?

Just when the cat thought he has seen it all, you humans stoop even lower at your hall. Pat really needs to stay in and just be a hermit at our bin. But I suppose he needs to buy us food. To not, would just be rude. Anyway, on with the show. Need a casket to get buried below?

Step right up.
Come and see.
Put down your cup.
Aren't these lovely?

Young or old,
Healthy or not.
I'm not cold,
But you may rot.

A burden you don't want.
Financially you can now.
Death will always taunt.
So get one that says, wow.

Come buy today.
We have your size.
You can get one on layaway.
This is just wise.

You'll need it one day.
So you aren't wasting money.
Who needs to be sprinkled in the bay.
Be buried where it's sunny.

Get a fancy box.
Get one with charm.
It can match your socks,
Or look like a fire alarm.

Take care of it now.
Keep the stress away.
No one will have a cow,
When it's your final day.

We fit everyone.
So come on in.
One day life will be done,
In that you can't win.

Even pick a basket,
And the type of flower.
We'll fit it to your casket.
That's within our power.

I am going to call it.
A tisket, a tasket,
Take out your wallet,
Buy yourself a casket.

The cat saw a sign that said pre-buy your casket the other day. Hmm, a cheery thought as you go out to play. Pffft, to all that crap. When Pat gets taken off the map, burn him and use him as kitty litter for all he cares. Did that get stares? What? He's dead, isn't gonna bother him in any death bed. Got your casket all sized up class? I hope not with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

111 comments:

  1. This is a huge business! Both of my parents died within 2 years of each other and I refused to buy into it. I went for cremation and did not buy a fancy urn which start at 500 bucks and can cost thousands. I went to a discount store and bought a box for $12.99 for my Dad. Last month I bought a cute little mini suitcase for my Mom for $19.99. I liked the idea of her goin' on a trip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, it is one that they pump every which way
      Dead or alive at ones bay
      haha that is the way to be
      I've already told people to just use me as kitty litter at my sea

      Delete
    2. This reminds me of The Big Lebowski when their friend died and they're too poor to put him in anything except a coffee can

      Delete
    3. haha yeah, well at least they had a can
      Of that movie I wasn't a huge fan

      Delete
  2. Death and taxes so they say, each are guaranteed to be headed your way. Might as well have a tricked out box even though you'll be among the rocks you can still go out in style cause you're gonna be there awhile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taxes you can run from
      But they'll get you and then some
      Death you can't though
      Although on it I won't waste any dough

      Delete
    2. Taxes or death.... taxes! Who would've thought....

      Delete
    3. You got to pick
      Take your lick

      Delete
    4. Maybe we could be put on ice
      Wouldn't that be nice?

      Delete
    5. Revived in years
      To alien cheers

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Not for you
      With a casket that is brand new

      Delete
  4. That is far from a cheery idea. Like plotting your own demise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but the plot could extend for a while
      Just choose to go out in expensive style

      Delete
  5. "Pffft, to all that crap"..... need I say more? :))

    ઇઉ Ell@

    ReplyDelete
  6. People cannot talk about their own demise
    Death is a creepy word they often do despise
    Buy a pretty casket and use it for your bed
    When the life has left your body, there's a place to put your head

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cats would use it with ease
      Have a place to put dead fleas

      Delete
  7. They cost thousands, too...
    and if you're dead, what does it matter to you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my thought
      Burn me and use me as kitty litter at my plot

      Delete
  8. I wonder if they deliver or you have to go to them???

    ReplyDelete
  9. A Tisket, A Tasket, Wanna Buy A Casket?
    Pre-supposing for the superstitious targets
    Creepy it would seem
    Never one to dream
    Not to bother for one's own but to just forget

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just dump my body in the middle of the night
    Wouldn't that be a fright
    It doesn't seem right
    But I'll be devoured by coyotes before sunlight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feed nature at your sea
      And throw a dog a bone from thee

      Delete
  11. Why buy a casket now when I can stick my future kid with the bill, amirite?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is what kids are for
      That and changing your diapers at your shore

      Delete
  12. They must be really desperate if they are trying to sell to the living. One big racket.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They must be
      Or trying to make even more money at their sea

      Delete
  13. My mom did pre-pay for her funeral here
    which saved lots of hassle down the road when the time came
    it made things much more easier in the planning
    plan to do the same :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ease of it is a perk
      I'd never trust those guys though that lurk

      Delete
  14. Mine's pretty well taken care of,
    I don't want my boys to have to worry.
    I hope to stay around awhile,
    There is no hurry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, stay around a while yet
      Make sure 100 is met

      Delete
  15. Pre-buy a casket? Ugh...no thanks. I'm sure there are some out there who would like that control, but I'll leave that up to others when I'm gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, let them deal with it
      Every little bit

      Delete
  16. Pre-buy a casket? Ugh...no thanks. I'm sure there are some out there who would like that control, but I'll leave that up to others when I'm gone.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I sure am not ready to buy my own casket. I really would like to stick around for a little while. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hopefully you do
      Make it to 100 at your zoo

      Delete
  18. Well, I guess it goes hand in hand with the preburial plans you can purchase. Makes things easier on your kids. I'm going to be cremated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they'll burn me too
      One day at my zoo

      Delete
  19. Don't think I'll be kitty litter
    That's not where I want to rest
    But won't be going the casket route
    Ashes over water I like the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spread them in the sea
      Floating away with thee

      Delete
    2. Bah, poor you
      Whatever will you do

      Delete
    3. Maybe get a second job or a third
      Still beats polishing a turd

      Delete
    4. Blah to all that work
      So not a perk

      Delete
  20. I'll take mine with a tall latte
    A cushioned seat and cute valet
    And when he asks me for the fee
    Yeah, good luck, dude. I'm dead. Heehee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha take the money and run
      Or just lie down and die when done

      Delete
  21. It is so expensive for all the things commonly used at the end. I told my family to do the same as you. Burn me and scatter me about. No setting me on the mantle either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, no mantle crap
      Rather be thrown into a fly trap

      Delete
  22. With apologies to Monty Python:

    "Do you want to be buried?"
    "No," I said.
    "I wanna be cremated."
    "That's a bit of a shock if you're not quite dead."

    ReplyDelete
  23. With apologies to Monty Python:

    "Do you want to be buried?"
    "No," I said.
    "I wanna be cremated."
    "That's a bit of a shock if you're not quite dead."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Times two
      Double the death spree from you

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. Get done
      No pain run
      At least after being burnt away
      Dust in a dust tray

      Delete
  25. honestly - if it were allowed here i would want my ash to be strewn into the sea or landscape - i don't care at all how my casket looks - it could be a cardboard box and i would be fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah throw me in a box too
      Doesn't matter at my zoo

      Delete
  26. Such a dark topic makes a lot of clucking. Whew doggy, I ain't got nothing to say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, only dark if you let it
      can make fun of every bit

      Delete
  27. not buying your cats food,
    would be a little more than just rude,
    and yes, life wants us to just spend, spend, spend,
    I often wonder "WHEN WILL IT END!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It will end when we say so
      And live in a cardboard box on the down low?

      Delete
  28. While this is a very depressing topic, it's better to be prepared so the burden doesn't fall on someone else. Everything is about money, even funerals. Anyone in the funeral business is all about raping your wallet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha rape your wallet they sure do
      Can just flush me down the loo

      Delete
  29. One time, long ago
    I was driving, moving slow
    when I saw a store all lit up
    I almost dropped my Timmy's cup.
    In the window, shiny, in steel blue
    was a casket for sale, I'm not lying-It's true!
    It was called "The Casket Store"
    There was that blue one plus so much more.
    Needless to say the store did not last long.
    Within six months it was gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I haven't seen no one pushing caskets here any more
      So many they also closed up store

      Delete
  30. We all know I'm going straight to hell so I might as well be burnt in an oven when I die. More appropriate that way.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep everything the same
      The afterlife a flame

      Delete
  31. I wanted to just stop at the title but it got so much better. 8D

    ReplyDelete
  32. I think I'll just order a cardboard box. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  33. All you need is a hole and some lime, let nature do the time!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Someone in our family pre bought hers and her funeral too. It made things very easy on her kids when her time came. Those things cost a small fortune.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to do it with ease
      I'd rather just be burnt and sent off in the breeze

      Delete
  35. All I need is a stone and a sea
    In the place to be
    Some need a pyramid, you know
    Feeling grand at their show
    But when you're dead, you're done
    Can't be fun...
    Nowhere to run....
    See, now I'm grumpy and down
    Like a big blue clown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep, when toast
      I can roast
      Then be sent away
      Floating off in the bay

      Delete
    2. But first 1000 books to write
      Day and night

      Delete
    3. Still got 900 to go
      Damn, be a while at my show

      Delete
  36. My grandma pre bought her casket and paid for her funeral. She ended up getting married afterwards and was buried somewhere else and now my brother and I have a burial plot to use. I guess who ever dies first gets dibs. lol

    My mom prepaid for her funeral and she went all out on it too. She had a good one where if she passed away before it was paid off, the funeral home picked up the rest of the cost. She did pass away before it was paid off and they did pay the rest off..It was very nice what my mom had picked out for herself. She picked her own casket and even pre paid to have 5 sets of huge flower arrangements.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, your mom went all out
      And that is nice with the tab pickup the funeral home does tout
      And at least their is a spot
      For whoever first gets the lot lol

      Delete
  37. You get a big discount at some funeral homes (always love that term...makes you feel cozy, doesn't it?) if you pre-pay for your send off!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, no prepaying here
      They can kiss my rear

      Delete
  38. orlin N casie

    noe bull shitz....we haz hurd a rent a casket......{ tho thatz prob a blee knot what itz act shoo a lee called } ya rent em for de "viewing"...then they seer yur ass ...then de casket goes bak ta wear it came frum & they gives it a good washin for de next "customer"

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah, dead cooties by the ton
      Never want to rent one

      Delete
  39. I have heard a lot of people get all their plans in order ahead of time. I agree that it doesn't seem very cheerful- but I guess it saves one's family from all of it. I am all for the simple in this area! Less is more.
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, less is more is the way to be
      No spending tons of dough at ones sea

      Delete
  40. A bud always tells her hubby she's going to cremate his body then turn it into carbon for a diamond ring;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha there you go
      Good plan at her show

      Delete
  41. Pick a casket and you get what you want. Sounds morbid, but smart if you want your way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure I want my way
      When dead at my bay

      Delete
  42. Replies
    1. haha be a while
      Hopefully before I turn that dial

      Delete
  43. I told my family to find out if they could just send me home in a ziploc bag. No need to waste money on an urn. My grandparents did pay for their funerals way before their deaths, which was nice since we didn't have to deal with the burden when they passed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha ziplock bag sounds good
      I can get behind that at my hood

      Delete
  44. In journalism 101
    We had some interesting fun
    Write your own obituary
    About as morose as can be
    Nevertheless better than the chore
    Of buying a casket way before

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be neat
      Beats a casket treat

      Delete
  45. I'm watching Six Feet Under series again
    makes me think about all these things
    that I am not too crazy about considering
    until the time is right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never watched that one here
      But yeah, can really think about time left on this sphere

      Delete