Monday, October 12, 2015

A Little Death As Some Draw Their Last Breath.

The cat was off doing this or that when the Halloween Nazi's voice was heard where we're at. Some how her freaky dreaming came to me. It was not a fun sight to see.

The Halloween Nazi was snug in her bed,
With visions of death going through her head.
She smirked and cackled all through the night,
I hear her husband even thought her a fright.

Her first victim was Rosey and her giveaway scene.
She had sent her some mail that was very unclean.
Rosey opened it to write a brand new blog post,
Then a knife popped out and Rosey was toast.

The ninja wannabe sure did not getaway.
He had is guitar and was enjoying the day.
He gave it a strum and that was it.
The amp's high voltage burnt him to shit.

Grace was next on her hit list of foes.
Turns out Grace, or Heaven, was doing things that curl toes.
With one curl her toenail broke off and started to fly.
It landed in her ear, seeping into her brain, and Grace did die.

Snowcatcher was next and quilting up a storm at her sea.
The Halloween Nazi watched, cackling with glee.
She grinned as Snowcatcher fell and got stabbed.
Those quilting needles can be deadly when one is jabbed.

The Beer Guys were more tricky as there are two.
But the Halloween Nazi was far from through.
Bry Bry was called by that instead of Bryan.
That resulted in way more than him just sighin.

But while he was searching for who called him that,
His Chinese neighbors crept over and knocked him out flat.
They took his spleen and ate it for some body or spirit perk.
Brandon vowed to end the Bry Bry calling jerk.

Though when trying to search and find the evil name caller,
He ran into gum wrapping that had been chewed smaller.
His dog needed to be saved once again at his sea.
It spit up, Brandon slipped on it and went head first into a tree.

If that wasn't enough, a beer bottle fell from it.
Brandon was toast as the glass caused his head to split.
At least the Halloween Nazi isn't such an evil witch.
She did let his dog live without so much as giving him an itch.

Then she cackled all over again at one with a fetish for a shoe.
It was an easy one for her as she left a shoe in view.
Blue was so happy he grabbed the shoe and ran.
Turns out the shoe exploded and he was a dead blue man.

The redneck was trying to keep it real and all of that.
She was out popping a zit while disco dancing and chewing the fat.
She flung her arm in the air to pop the big zit,
It worked, but the goo was acidic and she choked on every bit.

Jax could not help but run from a strawberry.
She's nearing 30 years old and still finds them scary.
A bird thought she was as crazy as can be.
It swooped down and pecked her eyes out for free.

Hank was inkling to be number one at a store.
He was on the road and got ready to soar.
But as he hit the gas and went faster and faster,
He found he had no brakes and Hank ended up plaster.

Betsy was in the kitchen dancing with a spoon,
When many cats ran about making fun of her acting as a loon.
She missed tripping over each one as the doorbell rang,
Neighbor guy showed up with his tightey whiteys and skid marks, dang.

Mary was sitting with her horde of dogs.
They all sat around like bumps on logs.
Then one decided to go out and eat some strange crap,
Coming in and licking Mary with poison breath as she took a nap.  

Betty was out searching for a town once more.
She decided to give the GPS a chance to help her explore.
She followed the directions it gave her to a tee,
Straight of a cliff, exploding in a canyon, whoopsy.

Adam applied for Jeopardy and got his chance.
There he was filming and ready with his wide stance.
He knew the answer right away and hit the buzzer as it came.
A malfunction caused sparks and Adam died from the game

Truedessa ate eggs and let loose more then you'd guess.
It was sparkly farts if I really must confess.
Turns out that they are bad to breathe in though.
For they caused her lungs to grow and then blow.

Mary Kirkland was getting freebies by the pound.
She even had many for her little greedy hound.
One she opened and the box was so big she fell in.
She was shipped to Timbuktu and died in the tin.

Manzi was hooking herself up to some big machine.
She wanted to be good and oh so very clean.
Turns out worms were eating the wires like sand.
Manzi kinda fried there in her land.

Birgit had computer woes from that Windows 10.
She chucked it against the wall at her den.
It blew to pieces and flew every which way.
A piece hit her forehead and now it's there to stay.

Suza got her grammar nazi on and edited away.
But her client did not like what she had to say.
So he paid her in gold bricks by the ton.
Suza got crushed by every single one.

Jacqueline was gardening when up it came.
It was a vegetable that looked anything but tame.
The thing popped and threw seeds into her hair.
The seeds sunk into her brain and now its bare.

Susan was caught up in edits by a ton.
It had been days since she saw the sun.
Actually it seems that it was longer than that.
She caught scurvy and died as her insides went splat.

Fundy Blue was looking through old letters from her dad.
She should have been more careful there at her pad.
She got a paper cut and bacteria was loaded on the letter.
Her body took it all in and let's say she never ended up better.

Sandra Cox found a commercial with animals enjoying each other.
They would jump around like the other species was their brother.
Unfortunately there was a mating call on the video she was playing,
It brought a tiger to her door and for that video she is paying.

Kathy Combs was out barbecuing up a storm.
The day was much like any other as all was the norm.
Then when she went to flip the meat around,
She was pushed face first into the hot grill by some stray hound. 

Sherry had her duckbill ready and was trying to call ducks.
Not a one came, proving her duck calling rather sucks.
But what did come was some sort of goose.
It infected her with rabies after taking a big bite out of her caboose.

Bijoux got fed up with a cellphone talker that was near.
She went and ripped the cellphone from the woman's ear.
That was really not a nice thing to do.
The cellphone blew up and Bijoux did too.

Al was stuck posing on a sidewalk loo.
He got sucked in and became human goo.
I guess you can say there was a swirl to his death.
I hope as he went down that he held his breath.

Robyn got a neat treat to her dinner table.
She thought she was in heaven as it was such a fable.
It was a chocolate plate, spoon, fork and glass.
She ate the poisoned chocolate and became one dead lass.

Old One Eye was the last of the bunch,
The Halloween Nazi was really out to lunch.
She popped Old One Eye's eyeball from her head,
Then she ate it up while Old One Eye laid dead.

And so in the upcoming days to Halloween,
You may want to be extra careful at your scene.
For the Halloween Nazi is dreaming how to end your life.
Boy, she must make one scary wife.

The cat just had to warn you all. Now you can prevent it at your hall. The Halloween Nazi is just so mean. I bet her killing devices are even unclean. Would the cat ever lie to any of you? Bah, not on Thanksgiving at our Canadian zoo. Do you believe what has come to pass? You can trust in my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

118 comments:

  1. Hello Cat
    Let's chat
    Some people's brains shouldn't explode but grow
    As they malfunction at their brainless show
    How's that for waking up today
    It's Monday....
    Not a fun day at the Blue Bay

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for killing me that quick
    Now, I feel sick

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boom went the shoe
      Bye Bye Blue

      Delete
    2. So now the shoe is gone forever?
      NEVER!

      Delete
    3. Could be a puzzle now
      Piece it together somehow

      Delete
    4. Do we need a blue shoe reboot?
      What a hoot!

      Delete
    5. Start rebooting any stat
      Get muted by the cat

      Delete
    6. Reboots make me sick
      I'd rather watch a chick flick

      Delete
    7. If it were a cry baby one
      I'd rather just run

      Delete
  3. ‘Hank was inkling to be number one at a store’
    But the field’s a bit crowded now that he saw
    And the demise of it all
    Did not make him stall
    Hank would still keep on lurking that he swore

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha keep on a lurking away
      To get what you want at your bay

      Delete
  4. Halloween Nazi had to work hard to kill both Brandon and Bryan.
    That's why shows about animals mating are so evil. Sandra, you never should've been watching.
    My amp and guitar blew up? I can live with that...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She sure had to pull out the stops
      They didn't call the cops
      Evil they are
      Hmm live with that at your sand bar?

      Delete
  5. Ah she knew I'd never be able to resist the giveaway pitch. Why, I oughta'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least it didn't come with 666 on the box
      That is better than locks

      Delete
    2. Locks are better than 6 six (six)
      haha, even writing it like that burdens my weary soul ;)

      Delete
    3. hahaha poor poor you
      six 6 six work better at your zoo?

      Delete
  6. You don't expect a thank you from me?
    that will never happen at your sea.
    For all I know
    you're doing the killin' at your show
    and this is a way to gather us here
    and shove a rocket up all our rears
    so now I'm off to my gorgeous seas
    so I can be far away from your nasty fleas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, you can't prove that
      I'm just a nice cat
      Haha yeah right
      Nit gonna take flight
      I'll be nice and send you sand fleas though
      They'll bite you high and low

      Delete
    2. Sshove a rocket up all our rears? Thanks for that mental picture....

      Delete
    3. Gloves will be used
      So one isn't too abused

      Delete
    4. Haha that was a fun one
      Watched it a time or two under my sun

      Delete
  7. Thanks for the warning! I need to control my temper, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha need to watch that
      When a witch murder stat

      Delete
  8. Halloween Nazi dreams of murder while in bed
    Sadly enough it goes to her head
    No one is safe when she's on a spree
    I hear only silence as she kills you and me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She probably sleeps on a bed of nails too
      Warts and all at her zoo

      Delete
  9. I'm feeling so perky this morn,
    Something new has been born...
    The all new totally brainless me,
    Although just one seed could have caused it to be! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol but you'll get a seed or two
      That will sure come due

      Delete
  10. Nope I am still alive and smelling nice food for Thanksgiving lunch later ~

    Have a good week Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good way to be
      Not gotten by the Halloween Nazi

      Delete
  11. The level of detail put into killing us both was masterful. It's brilliant.

    We always knew that Brandon would be killed by beer. No one ever assumed the bottle would come with it. And rest assured that Bryan's ghost will rise from the grave to take vengeance on his spleen-eating Chinese neighbors...and anyone who's ever called him Bry Bry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol brilliant could get the NSA watching me
      Thinking I'll go on a murder spree
      A ghost haunting can bring in lots of dough
      Not sure you can spend it beyond the grave though

      Delete
    2. We wrote an entire book making fun of the NSA so they're probably already watching us like a hawk. And you by extension of that. You're welcome.

      Delete
    3. Damn it, NSA after me and my sexist ways brought out all in one day
      I'll call that a win at my bay

      Delete
  12. How wonderful to pay such a tribute to all your friends - killing them for Halloween! Nothing more thrilling! Love it!
    Happy Halloween!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just a little kill
      Seemed to fit the bill

      Delete
  13. Yowser! So imaginative, but evil.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evil is in the cat
      Who would have thought of that

      Delete
  14. Nothing says friendship like...um....death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least all now know
      How they may go

      Delete
  15. Showing up without the whities would be even worse.
    I'm sure it would drive me to curse!
    Redneck needs to buy Proactiv.
    After the teen years, popping shouldn't be interactive!
    Can I have Suzi's gold bars
    since she's squashed as if run over by a car?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao I didn't go that far at my sea
      A curse would be heard flying free
      She pops others near and far
      Could hand it out at her sand bar
      We'll split the gold
      Just wipe off Suza's dead mold

      Delete
  16. Wow, that is a lot of peeps that that bit the dust. Such gory deaths. Yikes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It was good of you to warn everyone about The Halloween Nazi. I'll have to have the order look into her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The order will fix her
      She'll no longer cackle and purr

      Delete
  18. Oops. Well, does Robyn get to be a zombie
    At the very least?
    If so, she'll take another big ole chocolate feast.

    Thanks for this fun run
    And for including me
    Even though I can't keep up with
    Reading all from the cat and thee.

    You're scary fast
    A Halloween blast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I'm almost done June
      At my sand dune
      So I can stay ahead
      And fight off the undead

      But if they eat only chocolate when dead
      I won't be too determined to chop off their head

      Delete
  19. rofl Well done. Especially love the ninja wannabe.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Too cute with me and my gps
    No further problems should hpappen though
    Bought a new one to navigate for us
    As we go to and fro

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully it won't lie
      On the next try

      Delete
  21. I laughed so many times but now I'm going out in the sun so I don't get scurvy. It's a little disconcerting how well you describe people and then think of terrible deaths for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha good that you can get some sun
      I need to take my own advice with that run
      The cat remembers all as he reads each feed
      Can use it to describe them with what takes seed

      Delete
  22. This was great! I've rewritten Twas the Night Before Christmas in so many ways but you beat me to doing a Halloween version. The Halloween Nazi sure had some great victims.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Halloween Nazi sure went on a spree
      At least she didn't kill anyone with a christmas tree

      Delete
  23. This was great! I've rewritten Twas the Night Before Christmas in so many ways but you beat me to doing a Halloween version. The Halloween Nazi sure had some great victims.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wow! Thanks for that cat. Now I'm on guard and so is everyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I will remember to hide when Halloween comes.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm 27 years old and I've never once...not ONE...had to acknowledge the fact that I'm creeping 30. Dog house for you, cat. You go right to the dog house !!!!! Lmao

    And, yes, I'd run from a strawberry and an evil bird too. I had my mushy calling birds caca. Lol I guess I'm rubbing off on here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao well you are closer to 30 than 20 now
      If it is a nice dog house we'll make do somehow
      haha teaching her about the scary birds
      Who poke out your eyes and pelt you with turds

      Delete
    2. 27 and two months or so
      See, closer to 30 she does go hahaha

      Delete
    3. Thank you, Blue, for acknowledging this extreme gesture of horribleness that the cat dished out to innocent LITTLE me.

      Delete
    4. Pfffft kiss ass Blue
      Puckering up to you

      Delete
  27. orlin N cassie....total lee awesum poem two day & mega kewl how ya used yur followerz in thiz one !!!!!

    oh, anda happee thanx bee giving two ewe & yur dad & famillee; hope ya day iz a grate one & spended with thoz ya love, hope yur dad did knot cookz a bass terd turkee burd like they due heer...N joy ~~~ ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got many in
      Didn't want to kill any animals at my bin
      So avoided using those
      Pat only cooks up chicken woes

      Delete
  28. That's a lot of people! Also I'm super excited for Halloween.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I would like to be on Jeopardy but the people on there are by far the smartest around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know
      Could do well on the show

      Delete
  30. This is really clever!!!
    Yes, that would be me surrounded by dog breath.
    Sadly I am used to it. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha is that a good thing
      Being used to it at your wing

      Delete
  31. I love how you take the time to include some of your readers into your rhymes.

    ReplyDelete
  32. hmm..those colorful sparkly farts
    are better than poisonous darts
    cat there is no need to fear
    my lungs are still here

    as I inhale and exhale..
    I will prevail....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good they still work
      That is a perk

      Delete
  33. Yay! I'm so excited to be included in the rhyming.
    That Halloween Nazi is pretty darn scary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She gets here thrill
      From footing a death bill

      Delete
  34. You're one clever Nazi, er, cookie, Pat. Loved this! Perhaps you'd consider linking it to WEP's Halloween challenge next week!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'd pass on Truedessa as a pet, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I laughed all the way through this, Pat!
    Who knew death could be so varied and fun!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I feel honoured to be included in this ghastly tale of death. At least it was quick even though the computer won. Love how the Ninja bought it and Robyn as well but the 2 beer guys really gave the Nazi witch a run for her money:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the beer guys were tough to beat
      I guess she is more of a one on one killer at her side of the street

      Delete
  38. Halloween Nazi? Clever name and great job!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It works for her indeed
      There at her feed

      Delete
  39. This was fabulous, but that first stanza beats all.

    ReplyDelete
  40. My husband always thought it'd be
    The rotary cutter that would be the end of me
    But no, the knitting needles struck in a pair
    I hope it was quick at my lair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully no suffering came due
      From the halloween nazi after you

      Delete
  41. I am seriously cackling at the thought of Adam frying himself on a game show buzzer. Yes, I am evil like that ;) But unclean instruments? Never! I'm a little obsessive about cleanliness, and that's when scary wife mode breaks out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scary wife mode and Halloween Nazi in one
      Everyone better run

      Delete
  42. So clever, such fun
    Even though it is gory
    Each character's demise
    Only adds to the story

    Love to be paid in gold bricks
    But not if they crush me
    Though you and Betsy will benefit
    For I will just mush be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha Betsy wanted them first
      After you kinda did burst

      Delete