Thursday, October 15, 2015

A Little Helpful Day At My Bay!

The cat has searched far and wide, finding books that will fill you with pride. No need to thank me, just read and learn with glee. I bet you will enjoy each one. They sound oh so fun.

How to poo at work.
That has to be a perk.
Hover and don't touch.
Germs are there, much.

Toilet Yoga.
No need for a toga.
If you can't go,
Pose and out it will flow.

Pornogami is here.
Everyone give a cheer.
No need to give anything a yank.
Keep the gas in the tank.

Drink as much as you want and live longer.
Damn, liquor makes us all stronger.
Pornogami may make you shiver,
But liquor empowers the liver.

Crafting with cat hair.
What a fun affair.
Scare the allergic nuts away.
That works for my bay.

Do it yourself coffins.
Umm, my rhyme is as dead as goffins.
What is that?
Beats the cat.

How to fake a back exam.
Kill the doc with toe jam?
I bet that would be easy.
Zombie feet are cheesy.

How to shit in the woods.
For those sick of the hoods.
Now to the trees you can go,
And shit to and fro.

The beginners guide to sex in the afterlife.
Damn, living I can't even get a wife.
But the afterlife has sex?
Hope it isn't complex.

How to survive a robot uprising.
Get metal and start disguising.
Trick Skynet at your bay.
Then it won't make you pay.

Aren't you glad I found these books for you? Now you can learn even more at your zoo. That is such great luck. Most don't cost more than a buck. Now go and read each one because sex in the afterlife sounds like such fun. At least according to the singing bass. I'm still not a convinced little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

72 comments:

  1. Hello Cat
    Let's chat
    Could this be 5 in a row
    At your show?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look at you go
      But what about tomorrow on the road at your show

      Delete
    2. Tomorrow I'll get stuck
      Trying to earn another buck
      Such luck!

      Delete
    3. With a goat
      In a boat

      Hmph to the buck
      To that I say umm puck

      Delete
  2. Crafting with cat hair?
    Could you make a hair chair?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could indeed
      Might break at ones feed

      Delete
  3. Lots of shitting and sex books out there huh? That just makes for shitty sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! But how did the Cat know about those shitty books?

      Delete
    2. haha yep, times two
      Shitty all the way through

      The cat typed in Google
      For an oogle

      Delete
    3. Did you wash your hands when you were done
      Was it fun? :p

      Delete
    4. I wash my hands fifty times a day
      You need to be more specific at your bay

      Delete
  4. An autobiography down the road,
    Written by a dirty hornytoad,
    (Whose friends total none, in sum)
    Is titled: 'Ya Dirty Bum'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look at that
      An autobiography on scat

      Delete
  5. Make a sweater from cat hair
    If allergic then I dare
    If you insist then go and wear
    It won't win prizes at the fair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh there could be a fair
      That would have a prize to spare
      I wouldn't want to go there
      The prize would probably be golden underwear

      Delete
  6. Pornogami? I don't even want to know....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some book titles though, they leave you wondering...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is God sending guides back from the dead now? All trying to bait people

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, trying to bring in a buck
      By making people go what the umm duck

      Delete
  9. Just all kinds of books out there. Even ones from the dead. What could be better than that. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, who knows what they will share
      From their dead lair

      Delete
  10. what if the robot uprising already happen and I'm the only human left?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if you are the only robot?
      That would suck a lot

      Delete
  11. Pooing at work?
    If I gotta go, I won't stop.
    Hovering doesn't work.
    Instead...I plop.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This kind of makes me think of an old quote.

    "We avoid risks in life to make it safely to death."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That quote works indeed
      As many do at their feed

      Delete
  13. MOL! I've been crafting with cat hair for years!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think I will settle
    On getting books from the library
    Some of these are just weird
    I wouldn't want them, even if free

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably a wise way to be
      As they sound scary

      Delete
  15. "A Little Helpful Day At My Bay!"
    Books galore the cat is at play
    Books on 'how to'
    Will tell what to do
    Ever satisfied happy and gay

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Satisfied they nuts may be
      From sea to sea

      Delete
  16. My husband got thrown out of art class in the fifth grade for pornogami. He was just ahead of his time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sure he didn't write it
      Might be an unknown hit

      Delete
  17. Pornogami . . . that's priceless, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I like the sound of drinking whatever I'd like and living longer! Hah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha has a good ring
      But could be a lie or some other thing

      Delete
  19. orlin N cassie.....we iz damn sure we wood knot like a due it yur self coffin....we canna even stand gettin in de carrier ta go two de vet....& it haz.....a window !!

    heerz two an ocean sunfish kinda week oh end ~~~ ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the carrier sucks a ton
      We'd also skip that one

      Delete
  20. These titles are hilarious...are there really such books or you just made them up? Sex in the afterlife sounds divine, smiles ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they actually exist
      Although they should probably be missed

      Delete
  21. You'd be surprised by the number of folks
    Who want yarn spun form their pets' yokes
    Bunnies and doggies and kitties galore
    Would go hairless at every shore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Figures there are a ton
      They are scary, every one

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Good or bad?
      Gonna add them to your library pad? lmao

      Delete
  23. Pornogami..not pornoga? I have one question? How does the author know how to have sex once one is dead, even in the afterlife?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I guess they are intuitive or something
      Maybe a ghost came back and had a fling?

      Delete
  24. Crafting with cat hair..could make you a sweater.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Certainly not your typical books!
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  26. 'Beginners guide to sex in the afterlife.' That one made me snort. Too funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The things that are out there
      Plenty of nuts to spare

      Delete
  27. Somehow I missed all these on the best sellers list. Must have been Googling for the same answers when they were up ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must have been indeed
      To get the read lol

      Delete
  28. Crafting with Cat Hair seems like the best option!
    I will go with that one...sounds most useful,
    as maybe it works with dog hair too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bet it would work
      A dog/cat hair perk

      Delete
  29. I'm waiting for them to come out on DVD. lolol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol may wait a while
      To add it to the pile

      Delete
  30. Sex in the afterlife
    Now there's a thought
    So foreplay starts in the coffin?
    Could make the embalmer distraught

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would be rather kinky
      Especially if you can't wake up blinky

      Delete