Friday, October 9, 2015

The Russians Are Coming And Umm Chumming?

Talk about a Halloween treat. No need to even go down the street. They will come to you. I think I'd rather take King Abubu's deal at my zoo. Want to get married with ease? Russian brides are there to please.

Show up on Twitter.
Gleeful yet bitter.
Wanting to play,
You just must pay.

Show up in email.
It won't fail.
Fly me there.
Money to spare.

Hate my life.
Need a wife?
I'll marry fast.
Singledom is in the past.

I'll join you.
You can have my sister too.
Two for one.
A package deal run.

That's like a sale,
Something you get in the mail.
We'll pop out of a box,
Maybe even wash your socks.

Purr like a cat.
How about that?
Right there with you.
And remember, you get two.

Out and about,
We won't pout,
We'll be with you,
Until death comes due.

A Halloween treat,
That is so sweet.
Won't you let us in?
We like sin.

Order today.
Submit your pay.
We aren't far away.
Be there by May.

That is all.
Look, another wall.
Want a Russian bride?
It will be one wild ride.

Geez, they spammed the cat. Can you believe that? Bestiality isn't my thing. None of those at my wing. Maybe rednecks aren't the only animal lovers out there. The Russians have a thing for cat hair? I'll give the scary Halloween treat a pass. I don't want anyone near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

65 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Alex rhymed with you
      While you beat a snoring Blue

      Delete
    2. Friday's not a fun day
      At my bay
      Always on the road
      Stuck like a toad

      Delete
    3. A sucky day
      Sucking car fumes at your bay

      Delete
    4. One shoe and done
      that can't be fun

      Delete
  2. I actually knew a widower who ordered a Russian bride. Although there was the obvious language barrier he said "she aimed to please". I guess sex is the universal language.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol well I guess if you want universal sex
      Can order and give a certain muscle a flex

      Delete
  3. I've been offered a Russian Bride in email too. Pretty generous of them to get to Canada and the US, huh? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they got North America down
      They can come to any town

      Delete
  4. I can't imagine getting a wife sight unseen. It takes so much effort to make it work with someone you've known for a while - can you imagine trying to do that with a stranger?
    Maybe the cat will get offered a Russian Blue bride?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it would be nuts as can be
      They could be some serial killer coming over the sea
      Know a guy who did one from Mexico
      Basically a slave at his show

      The cat would run
      He finds other cats no fun

      Delete
  5. Russian women that I know
    Are great beauties on the go
    Why they want the USA
    Very hard for me to say
    When they were commies, life was bad
    Getting out was the fad
    Their life improved, no GMO's
    A country with more highs than lows

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Except it can get low
      Really cold with a blue glow
      And all the drinking
      May lead to IQ shrinking

      Delete
  6. Oh, come on, cat!
    She might wear a furry hat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would that be it?
      Just a hat with out every other bit? lol

      Delete
  7. Hubby gets those emails a lot
    and he hits the delete button many a time
    but obviously someone must look into them
    or why would they send the emails, though I think it should be a crime

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, should block the crap
      But they get sent all over the map

      Delete
  8. I get those emails as well. Someone must think them swell. They keep getting sent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they keep coming
      Must have some humming

      Delete
  9. I'm offended. No one has offered ME a Russian mail-order bride.

    On the plus side, I hear some of them come with a free tractor. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wowweeee
      Could start a farm by ordering one at my sea lol

      Delete
  10. I feel bad for the women. You have to imagine that at least 90% of the men who get married to them are not exactly Mr. Right to anybody. He's either going to smell, be obese, be over-commanding, very ugly, or all of the above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, anyone to do that has to be very screwed up
      Better off just getting a pup

      Delete
  11. I am just fine all by my self. Who needs to get married. Not I.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need at all
      Plenty of cats at your hall

      Delete
  12. I feel sorry for those desperate young women. And the men who "buy" them are no bargain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not one bit
      The men are probably fat, old and a dimwit

      Delete
  13. The Russians are coming!
    The Russians are coming!
    A Vladimir love fest!

    The Russians are coming!
    The Russians are coming!
    They better clean up the mess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So it's all fair trade
      And they become a maid?

      Delete
  14. Those Russian brides have been around for years, they should be plenty old by now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they should
      As they have been around many a hood

      Delete
  15. I'm really curious what inspired this one. It seemed all over the place with the only real connection being Russia and Russian brides.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An email or two
      Plus some spam at my zoo

      Delete
  16. Are those Russian brides a real thing?! I saw a Bravo special with it but I always think it's fake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, it is real
      May even get a two for one deal lol

      Delete
  17. My hubby was the immigration officer in a satellite office out in the heart of the community. He could tell you a lot about American men seeking Russian brides and brides from other countries; but then he'd have to kill you. LOL! Just kidding! Terry won't even kill flies; he catches and releases them! He's very fond of a tv series called "90 Day Fiancé." It's a reality show about fiancés (female and male) coming to the US on a special visa. They have to get married within 90 days, or the fiancé goes back to his/her country. I have to admit it's strangely fascinating. I think some American men are searching for compliant wives! Have a good one, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha he'd kill the cat
      How about that
      Hmm the cat kills flies
      He eats them like they are a prize
      Never heard of that show
      Compliant wives many want to give a go

      Delete
  18. I saw a lot of the Russian brides in Turkey. I guess I haven't been in the right places in the US to see them. Desperate measures. Where are the North Korean brides do you think? The word desperate made my mind go farther to the east.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They probably can't get out
      And have no internet to give a shout

      Delete
  19. Have you heard of a TV show called 90 Day Fiancée? Some of them really are from Russia!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First I've heard of that one today
      Proves they are out there at each bay

      Delete
  20. orlin N cassie.....de bozz walked past de food servizz gurlz desk & had ta BS with de co werker cross de hall....her had ta hurree & min a mize de blogger screen.......now her canna remeburr what de be jezuz her waz gonna say ~~~~~~

    heerz two a redfin perch kinda week oh end ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol thems the breaks when the boss walks by
      Have to hide on the fly

      Delete
  21. Not the greatest of lives
    The men aren't a catch
    Holed up at home
    With a security latch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, none are grand
      Scary in any land

      Delete
  22. A Russian Bride,
    Is quite a treat.
    Saves lots of time,
    To wed when you meet.
    The entire process,
    Is very discreet.
    Unless she takes your dough
    And tosses you on the street.

    It's always fun at your place, Pat!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it is grand
      Here in my land
      And yeah if she takes your dough
      Your marriage may no longer glow

      Delete
  23. Darn and I was considering mail order brides for my single boys. LOL
    No, but I might try a matchmaker!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha matchmakers I've been threatened with at my sea
      But pffft is all they get from me

      Delete
  24. I feel bad for those women. I wonder how they got convinced in the first place, how many ended up happy and what they're really thinking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, who knows what they are really thinking
      Sure many thoughts are sinking

      Delete
  25. Rhyme Time Slime?!?
    Who committed that crime?!?
    Looks pretty cool
    In your header tool!
    Better than a mail-order bride
    Holding down the tide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, beats that
      Most would at any old blog mat

      Delete
  26. Oy, the pitfalls of modern technology,
    Surely they owe you an apology! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, the cat shall delete that too
      Here at his zoo

      Delete
  27. I can't imagine being so desperate that I'd resort to being a bride for some icky an in another country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose if one is living on the street
      But yeah the idea isn't a treat

      Delete
  28. I have actually had 2 clients who fell for this scam. They took their money and ran.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, that would suck
      Love can cost a buck

      Delete
  29. Well holy shoot. You are really taking your life into your own hands if you take a bride that you don't know.

    ReplyDelete