Monday, October 19, 2015

The Stupid Side Takes Pride!

The cat knows you have seen much here and there as you surf the internet at your lair, but did you know there is plenty of crap to help out each and every chap? Even criminals everywhere. My, the internet can blare.

How to create a fake stock.
Step by step as you walk.
Taken through all the steps of it.
Then you can get money from bullshit.

How to express love.
Damn, fits like a glove.
Not sure I want to see pics.
No need for porno flicks.

How to hide an erection.
Damn, I guess no love connection.
Kind of cancels number 2 out.
What's that all about?

How to take a shower.
My, that takes a superpower.
Turning the knob is so hard to do.
I can't take it at my zoo.

How to be random.
I can do it in tandem.
A goat is in a boat.
Random enough for a vote?

How to remove a staple from your hand.
Damn, having no brain must be grand.
Let's all go staple our hands today.
No? You and staples don't want to play?

How to change television channels.
Umm, do you use wall panels?
Too fat to get up and do it?
Don't know which button to hit?

How to fly in your dreams.
Wow, I can fly on moon beams.
That is so great.
No other how to can relate.

How to blink well.
Come now, do tell.
My eyes really want to know.
They only blink a thousand times a day at my show.

How to avoid going to hell.
The rules are as clear as a bell.
Don't go to Australia in the summer.
Expecting something more? Bummer!

Now you have lots of usual information at your sea. No need to thank me. I hope you all go take a shower now. You must be so stinky it would impress a cow. Knowing how to is a big win. Fly in those dreams at your looney bin. Now I'm done with this help for stupid people pass. I'm such a random little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

106 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No.#1 again
      Lurking brings gains
      Not without pain

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Hank's always around
      Making his #1 sound :))

      Delete
  2. The Stupid Side Takes Pride!
    How not to be taken for a ride
    Study all the 'how to'
    Get armed with a few
    Keep them handy as a guide

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  3. Number one!

    What... Hank the Poetry Tank beat me to it? Well done, Hank! I'm afraid I was in Lalaland snoring to my heart's content.

    But I still couldn't fly, Cat.
    How about that?
    Now, give me back my shoe
    Scooby Doo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't fly
      Oh me oh my
      Poor poor you
      Not even one at my zoo
      And without a shoe
      Whatever will you do

      Delete
    2. Hoping to be #1 at 8.15am
      Blue is being rather too kind

      Hank

      Delete
    3. Blue has hope
      May need a longer rope

      Delete
  4. Is there really a need for removing staples from one's head? That worries me...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kids have it so easy these days
    a few clicks of the keys and they find the way
    we had to learn how to look things up in a file
    and man that took a long while
    a five minute search online
    took at least an hour's time!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, easy as can be
      Spoiled from sea to sea
      If the internet were to go out
      They'd scream and shout

      Delete
    2. Todays kids are spoiled rotten. Princes and princesses....

      Delete
  6. Great, now you're going to usurp all of OUR traffic for how to take a shower, which was totally useful to us and bringing us tons of fans/sales. Enjoy your new hygienic fan base, I guess. They're dumb, but they mean well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yipppeeee for meee
      I'll get more than people looking for "snowman ass" at my sea

      Delete
    2. Feel free to also take the ones looking for "boy scout wedgie stories" or "how to pee like a girl". I don't think we can help them on either account.

      And yeah, where the hell is this snowman ass, anyway? I feel duped.

      Delete
    3. haha you can keep those ones
      Sounds like they may have the runs
      Snowman ass was years ago
      Still a bit hit at our show

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Would suck indeed
      Those high powered staplers should make all take heed

      Delete
  8. If you just restrain from stapling your hand together, you won't have to remove the staple. That would hurt. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, just have to keep the hand away
      When stapling at ones bay

      Delete
  9. I've used the internet to: fix my toilet, get superglue off my hands, and make a catapult using popsicle sticks, rubber bands, and a plastic spoon. I love the internet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha lots can be found
      And fun can surround

      Delete
  10. There is so much on the internet that it can be scary sometimes

    ReplyDelete
  11. First of all I was getting so worried because your post just showed up on my blog roll 2 minutes ago. I was going to send out the National Guard because I know your posts are scheduled at least 9 months in advance. But thank you for all the useful info. I know I'm going to hell with all of my other redneck kinfolk, but I guess it can't hurt to check out the rules.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, sometimes blogger screws me
      And it doesn't show in blog rolls from sea to sea
      i suppose being prepared isn't bad
      For your new pad

      Delete
  12. Amazing what you can learn through YouTube
    Everything pretty much under the sun
    Makes one not want to write any how to do books
    It takes away someone else's fun

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it might do
      But there are plenty of how to

      Delete
  13. What is worse, that someone looked up that stuff or that someone thought a video needed to be made?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha probably the video wins out
      Especially if they scream and shout

      Delete
  14. Is it information overload, or just one big load out there?

    ReplyDelete
  15. You're so funny, Pat.
    I kept on laughing my way thru that.
    "How to hide an erection" ?
    What if there's an inspection
    Or it causes a reflection?
    It must be really, really small
    In that case, I give it my rejection.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha small ones are no fun?
      At least they won't poke the eye out of any one haha

      Delete
  16. I want to fly in my dreams!
    A good one to look up, it seems!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck flying
      At least in dreams there is no real dying

      Delete
  17. How is it possible for someone to not know how to take a shower?

    I'd like to fly in my dreams. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha beats me
      Guess baths are all at their sea

      Delete
  18. How is it possible for someone to not know how to take a shower?

    I'd like to fly in my dreams. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. How to avoid going to hell.
    The rules are as clear as a bell

    but with thousands of religions, things get unclear. We'll just go with the most popular one in my region wherever in the world I may be. Peer pressure works

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha peer pressure can rule the day
      And help avoid a hell stay

      Delete
  20. I google EVERYTHING, cat. Like, everything!! If you looked through my google search history, you'd probably think I'm the dumbest of them all. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh the cat could have fun with that
      Be a post or three at our blog mat

      Delete
    2. That would be weird to do
      But she might at her zoo

      Delete
  21. The internet does seem to have it all!!
    you can find something to get you from winter to fall,
    A lot that is found is quite gross,
    but in the privacy of your home one might think that's a boast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that they sure might
      Even if it is a fright

      Delete
  22. You Tube teaches me a lot
    And no signing on the dot
    A diploma from the school of hard knocks
    Is better than a pile of rocks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it sure is
      But rocks could work for a wall building biz

      Delete
  23. How to do anything. Just a few keywords and there you have it. A stapled hand? Hmmm. Not sure about that one. Maybe Google "too much to drink."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be it
      Too much and had a staple fit

      Delete
  24. How to do anything. Just a few keywords and there you have it. A stapled hand? Hmmm. Not sure about that one. Maybe Google "too much to drink."

    ReplyDelete
  25. Many helpful tutorials may be found
    So much easier with YouTube around
    Research took much longer when
    No computers ruled our zen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, way longer indeed
      To the library we had to take seed

      Delete
  26. I've tried some of those 'Household Tips' like How to clean your front load washer, etc. NONE of the tips ever work!

    Maybe I should make a video called How to Waste Your Time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol you could help millions out
      With such a video shout

      Delete
  27. I like 'how to be random' because being random makes life MUCH more interesting than following a well-defined path!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Random is far more fun
      We can sure go on such a run

      Delete
  28. I'd rather look it up in a book sometimes or speak to someone who knows what to do!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, someone who knows
      Will prevent many woes

      Delete
  29. orlin N cassie....be jezuz...R ya tryin ta say everee thing on de internetz...KNOT troo...

    hell, ther goez de food serviss gurls ree tire mint monee ~~~~~~

    ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol damn, you may be eating from the trash
      After her retirement bash

      Delete
  30. You were very helpful. Wisdom just drips from you like snot from a nose. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  31. The criminals are incredible. I have been checking my spam and some of the stuff. What incredible tales that just deserve an ending. In fiction of course, it is some crazy crap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha crazy crap they try
      Not sure how it does fly

      Delete
  32. How to blink well
    Who knew we needed aid
    Now I will have to watch
    In case my eyelids fade

    ReplyDelete
  33. How to fly in your dreams,
    but be one one who watched Insidious one too many times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could be
      Thought it be fun at their sea

      Delete
  34. I am hoping to never need to have to remove a staple from my hand. ;)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Yeah that is a good thing
      To hope for at your blog wing

      Delete
  35. A shower and flying. A staple and TV.
    Sounds rather easy, at least to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it does indeed
      But some are in need

      Delete
  36. Amazing what you can find out there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Scary and amazing
      With a little gazing

      Delete
  37. Remote control buttons drive me nuts. It's a good thing I'm not big on TV or I'd be in a world of trouble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you only need to use one or two
      The rest are just there to view

      Delete
  38. Did they try to change the tv channel using a stapler I wonder about the intelligence of the human species

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not very much there
      With many a human at each lair

      Delete
  39. I have never had a staple in my hand, but one time I was using a sewing machine and got my finger too close to the needle.... OUCH!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, that would hurt
      Blood may spurt

      Delete