Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Holiday Spam Brings The Ham!

The stores want you to buy buy buy as they go after every girl and guy, but the stores aren't the only ones. Holidays also give the spammers the runs. At least mouth wise. Not sure, and don't want to know, if they need an Imodium prize.

King Abubu still wants me.
He wants to share at my sea.
Doesn't matter the day,
He'll give his fortune away.

But there are more,
At each and every shore.
They want you to buy,
Letting your credit card bill go sky high.

Your loved one needs this.
It will cause such bliss.
We are sure of that.
Get this for your cat.

Get that for your dog.
Don't forget your pet frog.
They need that and this.
It will give them pure bliss.

Better to be overwhelmed then whelmed at your sea.
Just come here and listen to me.
I'll show you the way.
Buy this and that today.

That and this or this and that?
Either way is where it's at.
Just plop down your wallet,
Each time we call it.

Santa may be jolly,
But he can't impress with this holly.
Get yours today.
Listen to what we say.

No, we don't get a kickback.
This is all for your shack.
We are here for you,
And your loved ones too.

Not to mention your kids,
Get in on the bids.
What? You don't have one?
Maybe one day you'll go up from none.

So buy it now.
Your future kids will wow.
Don't make them wait until they are born.
You need this magic horn.

Borrow from King Abubu if you must.
He is a good man to trust.
Then pay for it all.
Everyone in your home will have a ball.

Spammers are sure out in force. They want to sell to you without recourse. Thinking they have the perfect thing to make all sing. Of course they get a kickback for each thing they sell. But it is for you, so what the hell. Pffft at least King Abubu stays the same no matter how lame. Spammers, holiday ones or not, can go be buried in the grass and kiss my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

82 comments:

  1. HELLO CAT
    Where's the party at?
    Is it Tuesday?
    Such a fun day!
    Who's number one
    At your bay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As true
      As Scooby Doo
      But #1 at my bay
      When the Cat comes to play

      Delete
    2. rabbit....it is the 1st you know

      Delete
    3. Bad to the bone?
      Stuck in the Twilight Zone?

      Delete
  2. The amount of emails I received yesterday on CyberMonday was staggering.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, out they did flow
      And deleted all in a row

      Delete
  3. I've got so much junk mail in email. It's hard to sort through and find the good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good stuff you say?
      Is there such a thing in the email tray? lol

      Delete
  4. Spammers know just what you need
    They're in your face like dust and weed
    Plunk down your card and buy this here
    Christmas is so very near
    Everyone wants to spend your money
    And take a trip to somewhere sunny
    You'll end up with a lotta junk
    To put you in a Christmas funk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you surely will
      A big old junk hill
      But they'll get their trip
      All thanks to your tip

      Delete
  5. I am getting hit with email galore
    won't you come buy at our store
    we will even deliver to your door
    in your in-box you will find more
    special discount not seen before
    come now, I know you want four
    just don't ask me what for...
    money in our banks will pour
    soon you will find yourself poor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They'll be rich, you'll be poor
      Take them and bury them beneath the floor
      Although that may stink
      Unless you own an ice rink

      Delete
    2. But never a Bora discount, you know
      So they can just shove it and go

      Delete
  6. And I didn't spend a penny this weekend. Unless you count the chicken I ran to the store for on Sunday and the electric meter outside.

    Humbug, I'll be so relaxed in January. No bills will be coming due.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good way to be
      Just get what is needed by thee

      Delete
  7. I know! Not quite spam, but the other day I bought a newspaper. (You know, the actual paper one.) I swear the amount of junk ads falling out of it when I took it out of packet was more than three quarters of the paper's volume.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yep, that sure is the way
      Get a bunch of junk mail in my mailbox at play

      Delete
  8. Holiday Spam Brings The Ham!
    Casting the net across the land
    Hoping to sell items
    That cost a bomb
    The gullible are caught in a jam

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gullible sure get caught
      And taken for a ride a lot

      Delete
  9. Spam used to be a meat
    That most did not eat
    But now it's everywhere
    Making people tear their hair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, nasty meat
      And now a blah meet and greet

      Delete
  10. The American Heart Assn called me at 8 am today and talk about pushy! I asked them to put me on their Do Not Call list and the guy actually asked me for my phone number?? He called me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao that is rather pathetic as can be
      I'd block their arse at my sea

      Delete
  11. Well I am the lucky one. I don't have any money or a credit card so all my friends will simply get a kind word. The cats take all the money but I am not complaining. They are great company. Luckily I do have friends that help with the expenses of the cats. So all those spammers can just waste their efforts on us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They can waste their effort here too
      For not much dough at our zoo

      Delete
  12. It takes a bit of time to do it
    But I work steadily on eliminating spam
    I unsubscribe from this and from that
    To get off lists all the time, who wants to be in that jam?

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good way to be
      I've done it a bit at my sea

      Delete
  13. Spammers spammers everywhere
    my mailbox is full of trash
    spammers are getting bolder
    and oh so very brash
    I gladly press delete
    squash them in defeat
    knowing my victory is only temporary
    their powers are extraordinary
    and tomorrow the battle will
    be fought again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The battle sure comes back
      In spam they never lack
      Especially this time of year
      Need a good kick to the rear

      Delete
    2. lol strike fear
      Get some kicking gear

      Delete
  14. too much junk not only in my email but my tummy :( as well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol one you can control
      As along you stroll

      Delete
  15. I actually enjoy being overwhelmed, Cat!!! lol Who wants to be welmed? Nobody because it isn't even a word. lol lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol it is so a word
      Whelmed is find while underwhelmed is absurd

      Delete
  16. Store avoidance in store for me
    For the next few weeks at my sea
    Couldn't believe the amount of spam
    Hitting me the last five days - bam, bam, bam!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bam it comes on in
      Spamming for the win

      Delete
  17. I get more spam then regular mail.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Respond to this email: you'll be a millionaire.
    All it takes is your credit card and SSN, I swear.
    I never lie.
    I always care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Half tempted to give them a fake
      And hope they use it and drown in a lake

      Delete
  19. But, that Nigerian prince
    sounded like a chum.
    So I'm not convinced
    sending him money was dumb.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was he chinese or dutch first?
      can be the difference between win or burst

      Delete
  20. I haven't checked my email, so I'm a little leery
    of opening it and becoming weary,
    clicking delete until my eyes are bleary.
    Hope you day, Pat, is cheery!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheery you shall not be
      As you delete away with glee

      Delete
  21. YES, all the companies ever want you to do is spend, spend, spend,
    When will it end, end, end?
    It seems to come from all directions these days,
    Lots of my online friends shilling stuff and wants to get pays,
    I'm trying to learn to spend less on 'stuff',
    and, rather, enjoy time with with the people I luff :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol and cheat rhyme too
      With the last that came due
      A much better way to be
      Stuff gets you mostly nowhere at your sea

      Delete
  22. Spammers, seriously, you wanted to be a spammer when you grew up? Yikes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol at least they had a goal
      Unlike those living in their parents basement like a troll

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. Santa brings furry balls
      To deck the halls

      Delete
  24. They tell me I can win
    If only I will spend
    And buy that car I need
    Which they'll deliver with great speed.
    Ha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And in turn
      They'll earn and earn
      When done the deed
      Taking your cash with the same speed

      Delete
  25. Spam used to be ham...well sort of. I'd rather eat spam ham than be in a scammer's jam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, a much better way
      Still nasty to my bay

      Delete
  26. orlin N cassie


    uh, sew what yur sayin iz that peace oh primo reel estate in florida that we just latched on two, mite knot bee de reel deel......well, ther goes de food serviss gurlz credit !!!!!!! ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the food service girl may be screwed indeed
      A swamp with alligators may be the best she'll get at her feed

      Delete
  27. They spam, they scam,
    they phish, and swindle,
    listen and your cash will dwindle.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it will
      While they fill their til

      Delete
  28. This time of year is the worst for this type of thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, hone in on the cheer
      To those far and near

      Delete
  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My first attempt was not too good.
      Typos were there in a mighty flood . . . lol

      Delete
    2. lol typos galore
      So gave an encore

      Delete
  30. Black Friday was a real big flop
    The stores were mad when they saw sales drop.
    Black Monday was not any better
    And the weather was this year much wetter.
    On line sales were not too bad
    And many bargains were to be had.
    This seems the same both sides of Atlantic
    In retail stores it was not frantic
    Perhaps last year they got bloody noses
    And all year unconcious they lay in dozes
    So this year they did not return for more
    Which caused those retail stores to be poor.
    But the scammers were out in mighty force
    To con us like they do, of course.
    As for me I spend only dimes
    For I am the Scrooge of modern times . . . . lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Scrooge for this day in age
      Does that mean you pile your wage
      Counting it over and over again
      An bah humbug-ing many a men?
      The whiny stores can go take a hike
      When there is snow who cares about a marked down bike?

      Delete
  31. So many spammers, I just ignore them ~ I would rather have some nice ham, thank you ~ Enjoy your week Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol lost my taste for ham
      So send them all into a pile of toe jam

      Delete
  32. I wouldn't fight the crowds to save a buck or two.
    It's nicer to stay home, I think, what about you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Home is a better place
      Far better to embrace

      Delete
  33. Haven't seen any holiday spam
    I'll just stay home and eat my ham.
    And going into debt to buy gifts is insane.
    Spend what you have, simple and plain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the better way
      Can't spend what you don't have at your bay

      Delete
  34. The real Santa's workshop is somewhere in China

    ReplyDelete
  35. The spam I hate are those assholes in the middle of the mall that try to chase you down, yelling at you to buy their junk. My kids were really embarrassed one day when one tried their chase down tactic. I karate chopped my hand through the air and yelled "NO!" then kept walking. The sales person didn't know what to do after that lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao a karate chop does the trick you say
      I'll remember that at my bay

      Delete