Sunday, May 31, 2015

The Cartoony Name Game!

Have you ever taken a close look at the cartoon? Those who named some had to be a bit of a loon. But you know that is fine by me as the cat is as crazy as can be.

The cartoon name.
A name to fame.
Drawing on paper.
A name game caper.

The Great Gazoo,
Got called a time or two.
Maybe by dear Boo Boo.
Need a bandaid at your zoo?

The Fraggles rocked.
The humans they stalked.
Gumbi got, well, bent.
You know what I meant.

Puss in Boots took aim,
At some unspayed dame.
Fat Cat hated his name.
Cats not so tame.

Zipper is quite the fellow.
Zip up where things come out yellow.
Itchy may not inspire.
Itchy near the zipper is dire.

Does Bullwinkle wink?
Did I make you think?
Humpty Dumpty is just fun.
Figure out that one.

Elmer Fudd hunts Wabbit.
Can be a bad habit.
Squiddly Diddly sounds wrong.
Can he diddle and sing a song?

Mrs. Buttloaves has an issue.
She may drag along bathroom tissue.
Winnie the Pooh needs a loo.
I guess that is what tons of honey can do.

Meatwad is just strange.
A vegan would want it to change.
Foghorn Leghorn blows I guess.
Horns must leave ears everywhere in a mess.

Scooby Doo gets a nudge.
But who is the cat to judge.
We have a Bohlingaringding on call.
Hey, at least it's the longest of all.

Miss any with my rhyme? I know many have a weird name chime. But a lot seem to have to do with #1 or #2. Then again farts are great to the adolescent crew. So pull up your Zipper class. Don't say you weren't warned by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Let's Meet To The Beat!

The cat just attended one of the most boring things on Earth. How can they have anything of worth? You sit and stare at a wall. I can have much more fun tearing up and down the hall.

With this act,
You make a pact.
You repeat a fact,
And be exact.

Fact is though,
The fact you know.
That fact you do to.
Fiction may come due.

But the fiction you know.
Where is a foe?
I'd rather fight.
This takes all night.

Maybe even all day.
Waste your life away.
Can spin in a chair.
Passerby's beware.

Can click your pen.
Make all squawk like a hen.
At least it's new,
What they shout at you.

Maybe not after the first one.
Yeah, drags it on a ton.
So it's a gift and a curse.
It could always be worse.

Could be sitting in a gutter.
But I'll still mutter.
Grumble and growl.
The cat may howl.

Snip snip so no heat.
But can pretend on a seat.
That may discourage yapping.
The cat can start flapping.

I will scare them all away.
Then I can enjoy my day.
Or just give them fleas.
They'll get itchy knees.

Instead the facts I hear.
Facts already given an ear.
The fact is head against wall I'm beating.
That is the fact of the work meeting!

Are you a meeting lover at your zoo? Do the meetings just do it for you? I suppose if the meeting was just two and under or on the table you could ummm whoo. Hey, gutter is better than the same old facts. Can't they at least present new acts? But nope, the same thing in mass. It puts to sleep my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 29, 2015

A Bloggy Doo At My Zoo!

Robbie Raisin is back and we are here for another Whoopdi Friggin Doo attack. I heard the blog world had to get things off their chest. Whoopdi Friggin Doo does that the best. So Robbie Raisin will help out. Feel free to give anything a shout.

So Jax, what have you to say? Feel free to blab away.

He HOARDS them!!!!!!!!!!!!! He called me today to ask me if I like frogs because someone threw out a large collection of frog figurines. Or how about last week when he found the same birth control pescription I use not opened..and he had no idea whyyy I wouldn't want THAT. Oh, don't get me started, Cat!! You'll get a real blabbing rant out of me!

Damn, I think that is all the time we have for this show. Brian, care to have a free flow?

ha. kind of a freaky clown eh?
i used to be a traveling one at my bay
though i was in yellow
a kinda mellow fellow
now this one has a face like a cello
i like the hair though


You were a clown that likes hair? Betty, do you have something more rare?

Glad I'm not afraid of clowns
like some people can be
He was certainly a gleeful one
his laugh was fun to see!


Brian, you have a fan. Suza, care to take a kick at the can?

Do you know the loris?
Cute with BIG eyes
Makes me smile
They look very surprised


So you love big eyed apes? Mary, any revealing tapes?

Dolly Parton has always looked a bit like an alien to me with all her plastic surgery.

A Dolly fetish from you? Who knew? Beer guys, care for a few tries?

Oh, we laugh at Gary Busey now, but I bet those giant alien teeth can deflect lasers.

Off in make believe land? Terry, is life going grand?

You know my Hubs son I was telling you about with the toilet paper? We took him 5 lottery tickets too. We watched him scratch away. This is getting freaky with you posting my life. LOL

No tp is sure scary. Manzi, you got anything really hairy?

The annaknaki came looking for gold
They found wild ugly animals I'm told
They used parts of us, add to their own
Came out as humans and the brain was on loan


A mad scientist at your bay? Does it make much pay?  Adam, care to play with us today?

I used to have a neighbor who had more crap than Fred Sanford. His whole backyard was filled stuff that they didn't need nor want. 

Seems he has a gripe indeed. Tabbies o trout towne what takes seed?

de bass terd turkee burd that will be sittin round with stuffin in hiz azz two morow

Birds surely do eat seed. Betsy, have anything to reveal in need?

Trudy goes in
for the win!
No extra chatter
won her the platter!


Ummm err who is that? A make believe cat? Marg can you shed some light on her fright?

Sounds like a scary day at that zoo.

That sums it up swell. Hank, want to damn anyone to hell?

You think it is a free country so throw things everywhere
So no more littering
So a little thinking
So you can save the day be less bothersome if you may


Yeah, litterbugs suck. Susan, care to try your luck?

I'm the chucker at my house and every time my husband can't find something, he blames me for throwing it out. 

A good confession for the soul. Brian the cat, what is your goal?

Sometimes even our clutter has clutter!

Clean up aisle ten? Snowcatcher, care to throw in your pen?

A hoarding packeat I confess to be
Yarn and fabric as far as the eye can see
But that just means I get a pass
On Christmas shopping I find so crass!


Sorry, Santa has come and gone. Rosey, care to add to the con?

Ever see those fake ones that look so real?

Wow, that can go any which way. Gloria, are you ready to play?

When I read the post name I know you were teasing us again:)))

Are you a psychic to? Truedessa, what comes from you?

I am a chucker with somethings at my bay
other things I may save to use another day


So you cancel yourself out? Theresa, care to give us a shout?

Clowns don't usually scare me, but that's one freaky clown in the video!

Watching strange videos again on youtube I see. Alex, how is this ended by the ninja wannabe?

I won't look at those people the same way now

Wow, you all scarred Alex for life. I guess he'll just have to be satisfied talking to his wife. That is the end of our show. Now you may know things you did not know. Thank you cards can be sent to Whoopdi Friggin Doo and money too.

*************************

Are you all better getting that off your chest? You sure can pass the crazy test. But that is fine by me. The cat is as crazy as can be. Not sure what Rosey was trying to fake in mass, but I won't go there with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

When Said You Get Dread!

The cat knows you humans must be nuts, or maybe you are taking cues from mutts. Either way, all you can do is say, hey. If you're lucky maybe talk about the weather when you all come together. But been there done that. There is one more you hide under your hat. The conversation starter that makes one go oh no! You can sometimes create a foe.

We have to talk!
Go, take a walk.
It is generally bad.
No fun will be had.

Promise not to get mad?
Means something bad was had.
If you promise you may lie.
But go ahead, give it a try.

Can I ask you something?
It has a familiar ring.
Meaning they are afraid to ask.
So might not be a fun task.

I have something to tell you.
Time for you to shoo.
It probably won't please.
Or could be a nice tease.

Can you follow me?
Run away, flee!
They either want to fire you,
Or go all Deliverance when out of view.

"Name" do you....
They want something new.
Run far far away.
To a new galaxy they say.

Are you busy?
Do I look dizzy?
But yes I am anyway.
I don't want to do what you say.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Something that won't bring me sorrow.
Unless I have to help you.
I know, so mean at my zoo.

Will you be around later?
See you, alligator.
But then again might not be so bad.
Things could go rather umm glad.

Would you mind doing such and such a thing?
Yep, but you knew that it would sting.
Yet you still want it done.
Aren't you're in trouble conversation starters fun?

The cat just rolls his eyes when these come due. I know something bad is going to come from you. Are you trying to soften the blow? Did I miss any with today's rhyming show? You humans sure have them in mass. You beat around the bush unlike my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Stopped Paying Rent And Away They Went!

So the cat was high on his blogroll the other day, meaning no more could be added at my bay, and some needed to hit delete. They had closed up their shop on the blogland street. Interesting to look back at some who stopped beating the blogging drum. I guess they got a life or their life filled with strife.

In the thick of it.
Some more than a bit.
Some with wit.
Others full of umm spit.

But then aren't we all?
Answer that with a cat call.
See, full of something there.
Okay, on with it at my lair.

A redneck was in view.
There may have even been two.
A few art ones were about.
I guess their ink ran out?

Blabber came and went.
Then she pitched a new tent.
Then she made a new blog.
Lost that one in a fog.

Yeah, the cat did not forget it.
I wonder if she'll still be around with this will hit?
A vacuum cleaner guy.
On vacuums he was not shy.

A beserk herc dude.
He sure had attitude.
Old one eye I'll count,
The slacker dropped her post amount.

Had to rub that in.
A waffle left his bin.
Some mind of a mad man got lost.
Maybe his mind was so mad it was tossed?

A satirical blog lost its satire.
Maybe they are looking to hire?
Slamdunks likes to hide.
His vacations must be one long ride.

A Van Helsing lost his way.
Or found it somewhere on display.
Some Twinkle Toes took a break.
But I bet their break is fake.

Many more there are.
Seems they run away near and far.
What is the cause?
Maybe they wanted an encore applause?

The cat knows life takes priority indeed. Hey, you have to have one first take seed. Ever wonder where old blogs went? The least they could do is put a final post saying, get bent. But you don't have to worry about that coming to pass with my ever so far ahead posting little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Screw You A Time Or Two!

Ever watch employers work? They can be weird whether you're a boss or a clerk. Not talking the big boss guy. They are usually a blowhard from upon high. So today let's aspire to hire.

Need an employee.
So kill a tree.
Send resume in and out.
Twist and shout.

Kiss ass and be polite.
Whether day or night.
Pucker up those lips.
Do back flips.

But in the end,
Comes a familiar trend.
One seen far and near.
The process is clear.

Got kids, you're out.
The one without has more clout.
Too slow? Oh no!
You lose to the fast foe.

Don't know? Poor you.
You can clean our loo?
No degree? Sorry to you.
Go milk things that moo.

Shh we are still equal opportunity hiring.
It's just you aren't aspiring.
Look at your age.
You could expire in a fit of rage.

What? That goes with it.
We are thinking of you every bit.
No way would we violate that.
Equal opportunity is where it is at.

The job you can do?
That we knew.
But you just look funny.
We want to make money.

Sit back and relax.
We pay the welfare tax.
Don't worry your pretty little head.
You will still get fed.

Equal opportunity for all.
Oh look, give her a cat call.
She is automatically in.
Hey, equal opportunity won't help you win.

So funny to watch sometimes. It is more amusing than mimes. But sadly a lot of times they are full of crap. Don't you love the hiring chap? Now of course some things you need skills for, but they may still show you the door. Leave them some bad gas. That is equal opportunity enough for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 25, 2015

More News You Can't Use!

The cat went into a trance and did a little dance. Or was that they other way around? Either way, some more headlines were found. Did you think I was through? I have to bring future news to you.

2019: The Blue Guy farts and causes a riot.
Damn, a fart like that means he needs a better diet.
2034: Marvel announces phase 6.
Old man Iron Man plays pick up sticks.

2054: Blabber still has tons of shampoo.
I guess one bottle will never do.
2073: Fish walk out of the sea.
Yeah, they walk right out and greet thee.

2036: A meteor brings little green beans.
Damn, alien beans must make scenes.
2048: Coconuts fall from the sky.
Those aliens are giving food a try.

2037: Lottery commission admits the lottery is rigged.
I knew things were re-jigged.
3038: The Earth gets renamed to Ground.
My, that is just oh so profound.

6069: Apes rule Ground.
They let cats stick around.
2222: Many marry on Feb. 22 at 22 hours 22 minutes and 22 seconds in the night.
Damn, the crazies humans and their long headlines that take flight.

5555: Robots kill many humans through love.
I guess they squash them when landing from above?
2026: The Walking Dead is still on.
Those zombies sure can spawn.

2029: Betsy stubs her toe.
I guess the news wanted everyone to know?
2030: Chips go in every humans head.
Pffft put a chip in me and you'll end up dead.

2043: Flying cars still aren't real.
That is good with all the nuts behind the wheel.
2057: Stargate SG1 comes back.
Must be a redo or a geriatric pack.

2038: A dam breaks and floods a town.
More info? Like where it went down?
2039: Name of flooded town found.
And still screwing us around.

2067: Americans are too fat to even run for cancer.
I guess they missed their calling as a sofa dancer?
2047: The Oxford Dictionary adds 500 new words to it.
Damn, do you think there is another way to say umm shit?

Bah, the cat isn't full of that. I just ducked down and left Pat some scat. Ready to live on Ground? That has to impress a hound. Some strange headlines you humans create. Some have an awful fate. There is stubbing a toe and some lethal gas. I am glad it does not happen to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

This Nut Sniffed Too Many A Butt!

There are just some people that should be locked away, or at least prevented from taking appts any which way. Up until now Pat has been fine. But then came a nut who even irritates the feline.

Appt is booked.
I even double looked.
Or would the be checked?
Either way, it's wrecked.

Now is the time given.
Apparently she's off livin.
It was another day.
Listen to what I say.

It was supposed to be tomorrow.
Don't worry there is no sorrow.
Just come back again.
I wrote it in pen.

Maybe a pencil looks like a pen?
Bet she can't count passed ten.
Not even with fingers and toes.
She might make five, but who knows.

Anyway, back on task.
Was she into the flask?
That might just be it.
Or she was related to that Flappy twit.

So next time comes.
Flaps her gums.
Nope, it was this time.
You once again got the wrong chime.

I said this day.
Shoo, go now and play.
Come back once more.
This appt is something of lore.

Maybe she should play in the street?
The cars she may defeat.
At least a tiny one.
Watching it may be fun.

And then comes the third try.
Whoops, a no show guy.
A call and a message at hand.
Late people she can't stand.

Pfffft is all I say,
And go on with my day.
Stick your pencil in your ear.
It will go right through I fear.

Ever have any nuts that can't keep it right? They really are a plight. I've heard of people getting it wrong here and there, but those who book them at their lair? Not once but twice? Maybe she was trained by mice? Three blind ones with a bad case of gas. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Come What May With A Could Have Today!

Today the cat will tell you what could have happened as he was out and about. Geez, if everyone thought like this every day they would scream and shout. That would hurt the cat's ears. Plus I wouldn't want to have to listen to all their fears.

Asleep in bed,
Resting my head.
The light fixture could fall on me.
Glass stabs and I'm under a tree.

Get out of bed,
And it brings dread.
Trip and whack my head.
Oopsy, I'm dead.

Make it to the shower.
It has such power.
The shower head flies off.
Taken my final cough.

Get to my breakfast plate.
I eat and take the bait.
Oopsy, I choke.
Now I'm one dead bloke.

I make it out the door.
Down the steps I explore.
Oopsy, trip and fall.
Hello oh hallowed hall.

Walk in the garage below.
And what do you know?
A pipe breaks over head.
Once again I'm good and dead.

Get to the car.
But can't go very far.
It goes boom.
Put something funny on my tomb.

I pull out and onto the street.
Again I'm left in defeat.
Bam, side swiped out of nowhere.
I'm dead, what do I care.

Every five seconds as you drive,
You are lucky to survive.
Hit by a nut or a building goes boom.
Hey, it could fall on you and cause doom.

If you finally make it to work.
There some evil could lurk.
A tack could come in contact with your neck.
Bleed out as you hit the deck.

Wow, the cat could go on all day. That was just an hour on display. How do you humans survive? It's a wonder you ever make it to the end of the day alive. Hey, I had to play with it. Only morbid a bit. The cat may even choke on some bass. That would not be fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Forget The Fray With What You Say!

It has been a little bit since the cat stopped you from putting your foot in it. In what you ask? Why that would be the thing that drinks from a flask. So today we are going to give a go things you can say to your mechanic but not your partner flow.

I think she's in need of fluids.
Piss off more than druids.
Or maybe just get drunk.
That may stop any funk.

Can you clean under the hood?
May get whacked with wood.
Maybe hit with the couch.
Could make all a grouch.

It looks a bit deflated on that side.
Hmmm make one lose their pride.
Could go either way.
Neither may have a good day.

There is something wrong with the rear view.
Much throwing of things could ensue.
You better dodge and cover.
May no longer have a lover.

It's riding low to the ground.
That might be okay only for a hound.
Otherwise you may get a kick.
Right to your umm wick.

The gas mileage no longer lasts very long.
That could be all kinds of wrong.
Might not even get a little thrill.
Time for a blue pill?

Something is imbalanced somewhere.
May get the crazy eyed stare.
Hey, at least you'd be right.
Although you may be murdered in the middle of the night.

She no longer opens up like she used to.
Hmmm do you still want to view?
May lose your eyes,
Or be food for flies.

I thought I had a limited edition but it's like any other.
You may go screaming home to your mother.
If you are able to make it that far.
May get hit by your limited edition car.

She seats too many some days.
That could cause a craze.
And maybe, sorta death.
Enjoy your last breath.

And there we are, the cat has helped out humans once again near and far. Don't say the cat is never nice to you. Sometimes you are better off saying moo. Hmmm that may go wrong as well. Maybe never speak where you dwell? That would also get some sass. Sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Abomination Accommodation

So the cat is back once more with another kiddie book encore. The a to z didn't slow me down. Then again it never does at my town. Although Pat's day job just might. But we will at least keep up this site. The cat will bite him if not. Anyway, on with the plot.

The Abomination Accommodation,
Stars a traveling Dalmatian.
He travels here and there.
He travels without a care.

But somehow his butt grows,
And he gains new toes.
Leaves from his head.
He looks not quite as freaky as the undead.

He wants his room.
But all think he means doom.
So he gets confronted upon arriving.
The hotel wants surviving.

But can he stay?
Will he get tossed away.
Why so many big words at play?
Some kids can't even say.

A challenge from the cat,
Err umm Pat.
Let him get the blame,
If the PTA or kids curse his name.









Big words on every page. It may not be all the rage. But big words had to be done. The cat couldn't miss out on the big word fun. The title alone may scare some away. It will sure be a challenge at any kiddie bay. It may even give parents a bad case of gas. So fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Back To What To Save Your Rut!

It has been a while since the cat went the what to do mile. So I guess it is about time I did another what to do chime. After a little hate once more. Let's go with what to do with haters at your shore.

What to do, What to do,
When a hater is stalking you.

You sit back and reply.
Tell them to up and die.
Visualize poking them in the eye.
Toss them from a plane in the sky.

Banter back and forth.
Ship them to the far north.
Leave them at the dump.
Sick them on another grump.

Run them down with your car.
Cover them in tar.
Hit them with a bat.
Nail them with cat scat.

Mow over their foot.
Bury them in soot.
Toss them in the ocean.
Cast a spell with a potion.

Unplug the phone.
Block them at the tone.
Stab them with a nail.
Leave them a fake trail.

Send them some porn,
So a virus is born.
Computer goes crash.
They may even get a rash.

Burn down their house.
Infest their house with a mouse.
Or would that me mice?
Termites would be nice.

Spike their food.
Give them attitude.
Send an assassin.
Staple shut their sassin.

Mail them to Timbuktu.
Cover them in super glue.
Rhyme them to death.
Strangle away their breath.

Oh the thoughts.
There sure are lots.
But why go through such a chore?
The best way is to simply ignore.

Haters will hate. Their ego you only inflate. So why respond at all? Then they hit a brick wall. They look like a fool covered in their own drool. Now they are absurd and you got payback by not saying a word. There you are class, what to do from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Round Thirty Four Takes The Tour!

The search engine nuts are never lacking. They keep on coming with their yacking. Some can really yack. They can make up their own search engine pack. For case and point, see the first at my joint.

drink alcohol quotes you are drunk only if you can lie on the floor without letting the bottle down

Wow is all I can say, someone sure likes to waste their day. I hope it was a copy and paste. Maybe they were drunk and had time to waste?

hatt is my friend, patrick

A friend to you? Not so sure at my zoo.

dogs and one cat

Yeah takes a bunch to win against any cat that makes a mutt spin.

you little bug eyed creep

Now that is just rude. What's with the attitude?

hammer it wax that ass

Ummm err ouch I'd say. No waxing at my bay.

minging feet

A zombie foot fan. Maybe there is a clan?

cartoon character with cigar in his mouth big nose

Teaching the kids to smoke? Maybe on the cigar he'll choke.

dog f***s cat

Ewww to that dingbat. Not this cat.

tobbot

Is that an upside down hobbit? Maybe you have to lob it?

pumpkins and jeans and looks like is mooning you

A pumpkin moon ought to make the Halloween Nazi swoon.

zombies in love rhyme

A bite and a kiss
Utter zombies bliss.
It your brains are eaten,
The love pot will sweeten.

a squashed giraffe

Umm err why? Some giraffe hating girl or guy?

Clad dad ob a horse

What does that even mean? Maybe your brain needs some Mr. Clean.

Cat sitting on a butt fart

Can you sit on a fart? Some may take it to heart.

And now the winner sure may make you lose your dinner. So if you just ate you may want to look away to avoid such a fate. You were warned once again at my sea. So don't say I didn't try and help thee.

Tasty cougar milf panties on my clohesline

hmmm redundant using both? Did your lunch go south? Or are you such a panty eater? Maybe you are just that kind of trick or treater? The cat really doesn't want to know. So feel free to keep it on the down low. But enjoy your eating of each older lass. So nasty to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Suffer A Hiccup, All Damned Up!

The cat has found many things you don't have a good choice, well unless you are like the cat and in some things you can rejoice. Like some hateful humans avoiding you forever. Now that is a worthwhile endeavor.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You can turn blue or just go with won't.
Go all PC and people make fun of thee.
Forget the PC and the PTA comes after thee.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Nothing is new and admit it they won't.
Car breaks down every other day.
To car payment town or let repairs take your pay?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Work on you like glue, stop they won't.
Hate the 9-5 with every fiber of your being.
But if you want to survive you can't go fleeing.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You can turn blue or just go with won't.
Help family out and listen to them whine.
Or hear them shout when given the no sign.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Nothing is new and admit it they won't.
Go pay rent and no money to eat.
Landlord can get bent and out on the street.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Work on you like glue, stop they won't.
Step on eggs shells around a grumpy goo,
Or listen to their hells as they go moo.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You can turn blue or just go with won't.
Don't follow back and get some flack.
A follow back attack forms a spam pack.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Nothing is new and admit it they won't.
Vote for one, ignore the other.
Vote for none, rely on your mother.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Work on you like glue, stop they won't..
Show up late and get scolded for it.
Don't take the bait and still get in shit.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You can turn blue or just go with won't.
Use a public loo and catch germs galore,
Or let a mess come due and wear those underwear no more.

That is a lot of damning at my sea. Any that can be added by thee? Those people that whine about this or that forgo the damning says the cat. Just tell them to take a hike. Hopefully they won't put your head on a spike. And so another rhyme has come to pass from my damn little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Talk So Small Brains May Fall!

It never fails from sea to sea where ever you go people are saying stupid things to thee. Do they think everyone is blind? I mean I know many humans have their head up their behind. That is just nothing new. Much like the small talk that comes due.

I'm standing beside you.
I'm standing behind you.
I've come into your view.
Here's the first thing you spew.

It's raining.
It's sunny.
In weather training?
After money?

It doesn't matter where you are.
It doesn't matter who you see.
Whether you got there by car,
Or swung in from tree to tree.

It's hot.
It's cold.
On a cot?
After gold?

You could be standing.
You could be on your knees.
An alien could be landing,
But you'll still hear about the breeze.

Some strong gust.
Some bleak day.
Whether in lust,
Or rolling in hay.

It's the same everywhere.
People tell you the weather.
They say it with flair,
Whenever you get together.

Lord and behold,
You sweat a whole lot.
Oh it's so cold,
Wait! No, it's hot.

Did you see that storm?
Did you see that sun?
Those clouds can sure form.
Alright, now I am done.

How can I help you today?
What is it you would like?
I've said all I want to say,
So go take a hike.

Are you humans crazy? Maybe just a bit lazy? Or you just have nothing better to say then what is already on display. Get it? Display! Meaning all near you have seen it today. But oh no, you still have to tell all high and low. If I want to hear about the weather in my own backyard, I'll do something not so hard. I'll look outside at the sky and the grass. No need to repeat it all day to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

A Little Meet And Wheat!

So there is a big thing going around, for years it could be found. Gluten is oh so bad, which it sure as hell isn't rad, but it is just oh so bad. Screw the processed stuff and GMO. Gluten is the only culprit high and low. Yes, gluten is complete crap. But don't be a silly gluten free processed crap buying sap.

Gluten free, gluten free!
Yippee, yippee for me.
I'm so gluten free.
I am as happy as can be.

This is gluten free.
It is so good for me.
I'll lose weight tomorrow.
No more gluten to bring me sorrow.

All of this says gluten free.
Yippeee, so good for me.
I can eat more every day.
There is no gluten at play.

Wait? I'm still fat.
My energy went scat.
Could it really be,
That I'm not gluten free?

What? I still eat bad stuff?
But I just can't get enough.
It is oh so good for you.
As long as no gluten comes due.

It isn't full of crap,
With a gluten free lap.
It is so great for you.
It says so right in view.

Pffft what a sap,
If you fall for that trap.
If it's gluten free or not,
It can still make your stomach rot.

You insides will come out your rear.
Day by day, I fear.
If you think gluten free can do no wrong,
You need to sing a new song.

Why you may ask?
Because of the processing task.
And all the garbage they need to put in it,
Just to make it look like a commercial hit.

Do away with fake or non fake wheat.
Just take your grocery list and hit delete!
Then the weight, the aches, the pains,
Will board some far away trains.

What? You really believed it was just gluten? Sorry, gluten free crap will still leave you a tootin. It is all garbage that will rot you inside and out. So gluten free you can scream and shout, but you aren't so much better off. Yeah, gluten free nuts feel free to scoff. Now gluten free is better than eating gluten any day. But a lot of the crap they put in gluten free stuff is just as bad for you at your bay. So take processed crap and bury it in the grass. You may then have as much energy as my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Pat Can Rock Around The Clock!

So the cat should be annoyed at Pat, taking the credit and all of that, but he can get the nice rap. The cat will stay snarky and pelt unwanteds with his crap. It is in a can after all. Hey, you've been warned if you come near my hall.


The ninja wannabe says Pat rocks.
The cat has to agree.
Does that cause shocks?
While just follow along with me.

The cat is fine to embrace.
Pat does feed me after all.
So I'm not between a rock and a hard place.
Aren't they both hard like a solid wall?

That could get rated R.
But I'm snip snip.
So I won't get very far.
Nothing hard down there to grip.

I don't want to rock the boat.
Then it might tip over.
Unless it's weighed down by a goat,
Or maybe a fat rover.

Instead I'll get my rocks off.
How can that be?
Not that I want to scoff,
But wouldn't I need rocks on me to get some off of me?

I haven't hit rock bottom yet.
You can count on the cat.
Being a 4 month ahead pet,
My blog won't go splat.

I'm steady as a rock.
I won't even move around.
What is with all this me talk?
Pat rocks and has been found.

That mini ninja spy was here.
I showed you a week or so ago.
He sang like a chipmunk and hurt my ear,
That is when he spotted it at our show.

He must have had the clones relay the news,
And the ninja wannabe found out.
Then away he did cruise,
Sending the news out and about.

What news is that?
Why it is Pat rocks.
It won't be disputed by the cat.
On the floor he even knocks.

 
Do you see what I mean? He rocks with ease at our scene. Back and forth he goes. When he stops, who knows. Rocking in a rocking chair. He rocks with ease at our lair. When I don't take it that is. Hey, I like the rocking biz. What? I took it literally you say? Pffft, that is what the ninja wannabe meant at his bay. You can't fool the cat. Pat is too boring for anything else at our blog mat. Now I have cleared up the rock with my sass. The blog world has now be rocked by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

A Fake Out Little Shout!

The cat was sniffing around once more and he found some more news at his shore. I know you want to be in the know. So I guess now away we must go.

After the success of How To Train Your Dragon,
The execs want to completely rebuild the wagon.
Next is How To Train Your Robot.
That will be oh so hot.

Home Alone 6 is on the docket.
This time a kid's stuck on a rocket.
He is all alone in space.
Santa can't get to his place.

Now we have Sister Act 3.
Yep, the return of Whoopi.
Wait! It's just a reboot.
Whoopi doesn't star or get any loot.

Octopussy was such a cool name,
That they want to make another claim.
Dinopussy is coming to a screen near you.
I hear it's ancient and may be dusty to view.

Wolverine will be in Avengers 3 and 4.
He will take the Marvel tour.
Yeah, he will really be there.
Would I lie to you at my lair?

The 50 Year Old Virgin is coming.
It has all the critics humming.
Maybe they want to star?
I won't judge at my sand bar.

Tower Heist 2 you will see.
Yep, that will be there for thee.
It involves a heist and a tower.
Hint, they cut off the power.

Zombie Planet is coming to you.
Zombies will have a human zoo.
Yeah, zombies pay to watch humans all day.
They may even eat them they say.

The Princess Bride gets a remake.
Yep, it is going to take.
Andre the Giant's ghost will be there.
What? It's true, I swear.

Avatar 6 is being done.
Forget about what happened after one.
We need six first.
Then the last won't be the worst.

That is the cats news for the day. I hope you enjoy being in the know now at your bay. You just wait and see. All of these will come to thee. What is that? I'm a lying cat? Bah, I just have no class within my lying little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Screw The Mail By The Bale!

Sorry Rosey for the mail screwing. It just goes so well with this viewing. The cat had to do it. Yeah, he's really not sorry one little bit. So in came the junk and I will teach that bunk.


There was a knock on the door.
Cassie heard its awful roar.
She did not like that.
She's not a polite cat.


She ran away.
Not wanting to play.
Those ears pinned  back.
Attitude she doesn't lack.


I dropped my toy,
Looking to see what did annoy.
I only run when I see them.
I may also spit a little phlegm.


Cassie got blinded.
I think she minded.
Then the door shut.
Thankfully there was no sniff of a butt.


Cassie still hid, ready to run.
She thought the knocking was no fun.
But could get bird TV.
They aren't so scary.


I went lower to the ground.
See, I can't be found.
I fit right in.
The cat for the win.


Cassie went old mother Hubbard.
She hid in the top cupboard.
I thought it was a good spot.
I liked it a whole lot.


So I kicked her out.
She didn't pout.
Maybe whacked me a bit.
But I can take it.


It was a hard day.
Cassie says so anyway.
All that running and hiding about,
Can sure wear a cat out.


And what was the knock?
Can't get it from my title talk?
It was just the mail.
I ripped it open without fail.

The mail makes a good napping spot. I still prefer a cot. But maybe rub my butt on the junk mail and hit return to sender on the mail trail. That would sure be fun. Maybe it will be done. I did not get as bored as Cass. It was too much fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Look At This Trend To See The End!

The cat is off to another strange place as we travel about at a steady pace. More like once or twice a year, but regular is relative here. So off to no man's land we go. No cats either are there as far as I know.


Varosha, a big town as you can see,
Or at least big buildings for thee.
There the water is true blue,
And not a person will bother you.

There are no cleaners,
No movie screeners,
No traffic in the way,
And no jaywalkers at play.

No crime or cops.
No handy bus stops.
Not even a Dr. will show.
So don't stub your toe.

And why is this you ask?
It was thanks to a 1974 invasion task.
Everyone fled rather then end up dead,
Or some other kind of dread.

And no one has ever gone back.
For 40 years there has been no flack.
No nothing to bother you.
You could live by water so blue.

You could have your own hotel.
Warning, it may smell.
Might have to get your own boat,
Maybe have to ride a camel or goat,

But it will all be yours.
You could even set up tours.
The buildings may fall on your head.
You may also end up dead.

At least you and the birds,
Could have a few words.
I'm sure there are bugs to.
They'd be good protein for you.

I mean you'd have to eat.
Bugs for a treat.
Maybe some fishing.
So are you sitting there wishing?

Ready to go to Varosha and live?
Everything leaks like a sieve.
At least it is warm.
Good luck weathering any storm.

If you ever wanted to see what the end of the world would look like, go for a Varosha hike. Been over 40 years since anything was done there. Ready to own your very own rotting Varosha lair? Hey, the water is so blue. That has to impress you. If you have a sat phone and can get a dial tone, let the cat know how things go. I think on Varosha I will take a pass. There would be too much to clean for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 11, 2015

200,000+ Words Today With 25, Yep, 25 On Display!!!!!!!!!!!

So the secret project the cat mentioned a while back, when you all picked the covers at my shack, is now officially done. It does not have a rhyming run. But it still has Cassie and I and Pat, or at least some version on where we are at. 200,000+ words and 25 books came due as we add to the pile at our zoo.

What would happen if a shit-sicle fell from the sky? Well for Pat, life changes and a colorful cast of characters surround him as he continues to strive to do nothing. I mean write, but that is doing nothing. From hairless armpits to what would happen if water and clumping kitty litter was thrown on a pervs dick all come into play. Did I mention there is a mystery at play?

All of the above and so much more as 25 episodes of Imagine That are released today at our shore!

Warning The Following May Offend Some Humans. Human Discretion Is Advised.

Pat is on his way to work when a traffic jam slows things down. He spots two humans arguing and gets out of the car. His best, or worst, mistake ever. Life is totally changed upon meeting Crazy Eye, The Ex Mountie and other colorful characters. By the end of the day Pat will know shit truly happens.

Pat is shocked by Crazy Eye and now can't shut up. He has to explain everything in detail. Pat also can't remember the night before. To make matters worse The American has moved into his building and The Researcher reveals they made a deal when he was drunk. A deal that could be nine months in the making.

Pat is just learning to deal with Crazy Eye owning his apartment building, The American living above him and The Researcher becoming a part of his life, when The Repeater moves in next door. She can't sing and he can't shut her up. Will his bet with The American do the trick?

Pat and The Researcher have their first date. Things don't go as planned when they suspect the waiter of wanting to go postal on the place. Meanwhile The American and Crazy Eye are determined to save the day.

Pat has to go to the dentist twice in one day. Dr. Fluoride won't take no for an answer when it comes to his fluoride. The more Pat protests the angrier he gets. But could Dr. Fluoride be holding onto a secret that Pat will expose?

Crazy Eye hires building contractors to renovate Pat and The Researcher's apartment. Pat is not impressed with Large Arms and Handy Stripper upon seeing them. He soon find out his assumption was right and by the end of the day he'll have to burn his bed.

Pat takes The Researcher home to meet the family. Profanity Granny does not think much of him keeping her secret. Pat and The Researcher have to deal with plenty while The American learns he truly has a gift, which gets him dubbed, The Baby Maker.

After losing their instructor Pat gets roped into teaching yoga to a class of pregnant women. The American and Crazy Eye enjoy the show from afar and not so far as Pat fakes his way through it. Everyone soon learns why you never do yoga in public.

Crazy Eye gets his very own photo shoot where he is forced to dress like a pirate and cover his crazy eye. The Researcher has trouble at the grocery store. Pat ends up making two drunks think he is a figment of their imagination. And The American has a run in with Dr. Doitall while trying to buy a gun.

Pat, The Researcher, Crazy Eye and The American all get locked in an electronics store. There is only one huge TV left and Crazy Eye wants it. TV Guy won't let it go. The tensions rise as they all remain stuck and pissy toilet water even comes into play.

The American and Pat become lifeguards at Sports Plaza. After a bet with Crazy Eye, The American is hell bent on getting laid. Pat is surprised to see The Researcher and The American has his first meeting with Rule Nazi. Hairless armpits and pimple filled backs are also in play.

Large Arms comes back with an army of bible thumpers declaring Pat the devil. Actual thumping takes place within the walls of the apartment building driving everyone nuts. The American takes up his first day of working for free. 

Pat finally has a plan ready to break into Future Presents and find out what is going on in there. Upon breaking in he finds The Researcher being kidnapped. After a well meaning attempt both are thrown in back a van. Together with The American and Crazy Eye they have to trample through the Canadian wilderness with the kidnappers hot on their trail.

Pat, The Researcher, Crazy Eye and The American are trying to stay one step ahead of everyone. The kidnappers are still after them, a pair of hillbillies both named Banjo want them dead and Mexican drug runners are also in play. It shapes up to be a stand off like no other as they keep their pellet guns at the ready.

Pat is told by everyone that a big storm is coming. He and The Researcher go to Costco to stalk up and things don't go as planned. Crazy Eye tightens up things at the apartment building. While Rule Nazi experiments with making The American more docile, handcuffs are involved.

 A gene scanner has been stolen at the Future Presents Christmas party and now no one can leave. Pat picks out the culprit by using his that guy theory. But Crazy Eye gets the blame. At first no one believes him but as the night drags on and Screw Up starts acting peculiar, Pat's theory may be dead on.

Crazy Eye found a new tenant and she loves birds. Pat finds that out when her escaped crow smashes into his window. But not only does Bird Lady love her birds, she also loves Crazy Eye and they are getting married right away. Both The Researcher and Pat know something is fishy while The American is too consumed with Rule Nazi to notice.

Pat drops a check that Crazy Eye had given him for saving his life. Vegan Lady is the one to find it. She pretends she did not see the amount and then things get frisky. Pat's meat also gets thrown out. After such advances Pat has no choice but to call in The Researcher for back up.

The Researcher has a seminar to attend and Pat gets dragged along with her. Crazy Eye and The American are already seated when they arrive. Nose Hair begins his presentation and Pat finds him the most stupid guru ever. He, The Researcher and Crazy Eye soon learn why.

The Researcher gets promoted for all her hard work. At first she thinks it is a great idea, but between dealing with whiny employees, The Director and The General's advances, and not being able to work on her research into curing stupid, she soon learns the promotion was not a good idea.

Crazy Eye accepts a con man as a tenant only to try and pull a con on him. Pat doesn't think Crazy Eye has it in him, but with a little help from The Researcher, Crazy Eye thinks he can pull it off.

Pat takes The American to Dr. Tryitall to see about his back pimples. After a day of treatment The American starts to notice changes. Something is happening. The Researcher and Crazy Eye are their for the grand finale. Upon his actual diagnosis The American becomes a YouTube star.

Pat takes The Researcher gambling for the first time while they wait to see a kiddie band. Pat is less than thrilled but Crazy Eye and The Researcher seem to have something planned. The American tries to get his own groupies while Profanity Granny shows up to let Pat know what a little shit he is.

After one car was stripped and another thrown away due to The American's pollution, Pat finally decides to break down and buy a car. Pat, being cheap, goes to a less than reputable car lot. The four soon learn that Big Dick and Perky Seller are not what they seem.

Pat finally corners Crazy Eye and tries to force information out of him on how he knows the things he does. But before Pat could save him Crazy Eye is kidnapped and taken to Future Presents. Now it is up to Pat and The American to save him and maybe The Researcher as well.

And finally that big project is done. At least season one. Took a few months to get 25 episodes to come due. But it was fun through and through. Some stuff in there about Pat as well. He sure wasn't afraid to tell. Or maybe that was me as it was all written by the cat at our sea. Supposedly anyway. So what do you think at my bay? Ready for 25 episodes to come due? Think that is more than a few? Yep, they are actual episodes of stuff. Sometimes hillbillies pop out and get rough. The Banjos are mean. They make quite the scene. 200,000+ words and 25 books have now come to pass. I think I am going to go rest my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

This Candy Doesn't Sound Dandy!

Did you know that there is some strange candy out there? You humans are nuts at your lair. Nerds and gummi bears and tootsie rolls, oh my. But they aren't the weird ones they want you to try.

It's Big Nuts!
Add pounds to butts.
Give the bar a whirl.
Nuts for a boy and girl.

It's Crackheads!
No need for meds.
Just have some chocolate cover espresso.
Warning, might make you mess umm go.

Wiener Nougats R Us!
They are all the fuss.
Grab a wiener and dig in.
Mix with spotted dick for the win.

Cream Collon is here.
Mmmm have no fear.
Just give it a lick.
Might do the trick.

Ayds are ready!
Eat them steady.
Keep the Dr. away,
With Ayds each day.

Haribo Creamy Dreams!
Fed to baseball teams.
Wait! I can get you some for free.
Let me hawk up a hairball for thee.

Crunky just for you?
A funky monkey coming due?
You still might get chunky,
Chowing down on old crunky.

Asse is just for you.
Yep, really it is true.
Something may have got lost in translation.
Don't Asse bars bring you elation?

A Nut Milk bar!
You will go far.
That nutty milk goodness is great.
Want to add one to your plate?

And finally one for you,
That you can feed to the crew.
They come in fancy trucks.
Have some Starburst Sucks!

Ready to suck on a starburst? Are you left wondering which is the worst? Who names these things anyway? Does anyone want to be reminded of a butt when they eat at their bay? They would all give the cat gas. So I will avoid them with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

A Little Ditty On Pity!

The cat has seen a few here and there, as I'm sure you have at your lair. Those that whine and whine some more, trying to extort pity at their shore. Once in a while many humans have a pity party come due, but not every other day like some with a loose screw.

Poor pitiful me.
I have no glee.
Won't you come see?
Listen to poor pitiful me.

Life is hard.
I'm a whiny bard.
So listen to me,
I'm as pitiful as can be.

Give me your pity,
Town or city.
Forget your weary, tired and sick,
I'm all of those brick by brick.

So pity me all.
Pity my phone call.
Pity this and that.
I'll even take pity from a cat.

I whine away life.
Pity my strife.
Pity my being.
Is that pity I'm seeing?

Pffft shut the hell up.
Worse than a pup.
Whining about the same old crap,
With their pity me lap.

Only so much one can take,
Before telling them to bake a cake.
Then shove that cake up their rear.
But they still bend your ear.

Poor pitiful me.
I've been forsaken by thee.
Poor, poor pitiful me.
I'll drown in the sea.

Good! Drown you should.
Have me wishing you would.
My ears would have peace.
Maybe just ship you to Greece.

There you can whine Greek.
Maybe whiners they seek.
Poor pitiful me,
I just sat and listened to thee.

Pfffft the cat has no time for such crap. All kinds of bad things across the map. Once in a blue moon, okay. But not every other day. A whiner at a certain, rhymes with perk, place sure could whine at a steady pace. My ears are happy never again to hear that lass. So much better for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Flipping You Off Today Here At My Bay!

Did you just see what I did there? Did it really make you stare? I just gave you the finger. I even let it linger. You should be so insulted at your sea. You should really give it back to me.

It was such a claim.
The finger came.
Up it went.
Go get bent.

Wait! I got a finger?
It did linger.
But still it was a finger for me?
Oh no! A finger I see.

That is such a threat.
I am now a upset pet.
The finger I caught.
That hurt a whole lot.

It was like a poke to the eye.
A kick below to a guy.
A whack with a bat.
Getting pissed on by a cat.

Wait! What?
Nope, not even a cut.
So what's bad about the finger I got?
Beats this rhyming nut.

Should I be insulted by its mole?
Maybe you like a small flag pole?
I've got a few fingers too.
Can yours go moo?

Why is that insulting anyway?
Oh no! A finger is on display.
Whoopdi friggin doo.
Humans need to get a clue.

Why not give the ass cheek?
That may insult many who peek.
Or take off your shoe and give the toe.
Give everyone a toe jam show.

Pick your nose and flick,
Or give it a good lick.
That can insult too.
Give them the hairy back at your zoo.

But a finger, oh no!
That is so insulting at my show.
I can't take it anymore.
Your finger can really bore.

Doesn't it seem as pointless as can be to be insulted by a finger at your sea? It's like being insulted by an eyeball looking at you. A finger is sure nothing new. Maybe insult someone with no fingers at all by giving them a finger call. But how is a finger crass? Beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Come And Express, More Or Less!

The cat saw a phrase the other day that was too good to pass up at my bay. So I figured what the hell, as it sure wasn't a tough sell. Now away we go with an artistic show.

Get ready for Artistic Expression,
With today's rhyming session.
Hold the aggression.
Unless furthering artistic progression.

Does it make an impression?
Is there a succession?
Even with a little indiscretion,
It sure is artistic expression.

Crap on a stick.
That's just ick.
But it has a story.
Oh, artistic expression glory.

Headless mannequins at play.
Pffft just plastic on display.
What? They are set up just right?
Oh, artistic expression is in sight.

Naked people dance around.
On any nude beach that can be found.
But wait, they dance in sync.
Artistic expression is the missing link.

Hairball on the floor,
Splatted right up the door.
Wow, that is true art.
Artistic expression thrown up from the heart.

A redneck lawnmower.
Can't sink much lower,
i.e. It's a goat.
Artistic expression of note.

A book balancing on a head,
While standing on a bed.
Damn, that is skill as well.
Artistic expression is swell.

Such a great profession.
There is no depression.
Forget any recession.
Get rich with each possession.

It is your obsession.
Show that oppression.
Time for a digression.
That to is artistic expression. 

Damn, art can take many a form. How is such an expression not the norm? It just fathoms the cat. Wait! A human thing, forget that. You are crazy as can be with your artistic expression spree. Anything short of chopping off someones head can be placed in the artistic expression bed. So I express with this pass artistic expression can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Pffft It Away, Come What May!


Pffffft is fun to say.
Makes all go away.
So Pffffft it up today,
Come what may!

A bad review.
Wait, there's two.
Don't be blue,
A Pfffft will do.

Some writer's block.
Don't sit and gawk.
Go for a walk.
Pfffft to undo brain lock.

Writing going slow?
The word count won't grow?
Created one new row?
Pffft and away you go.

Pffft with me.
Pffft with glee.
Pffft just be.
Let the Pffft fly free.

Got a Twitter hater.
Maybe some gator?
Just a lie and waiter?
Pfffft them into a crater.

Kids in the way?
Dog want to play?
Cat having its say?
Pffft and enjoy the day.

A bit behind.
Out of your mind?
In a bind?
Pffft to the grind.

Low on dough?
Not in the know?
Stub your toe?
Let the Pfffft flow.

Pfffft insecurity away.
Have a nice day.
Pffft the small stuff.
Don't huff and puff.

Now my pffffting is through. Did I get through to you? Have some pffffting you need to do? Yeah I lost a screw. But that left a long time ago. So pfffft high and low. So just Pfffft to all the sass like my pfffft-ing little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The Best Of The Rest!

The cat knows he is the best, until he is not. Pffft to the rest they must suffer from brain rot. The cat is great, the cat is grand. A cocky trait the cat has in his land. But not just the cat. Many a human has such a stat.

The best of the best.
Nothing can compete.
Passing every test.
Leaving all in defeat.

My car is top notch.
It has such swag.
A horse hurts your crotch.
Plus it is a nag.

My movie is the best.
You can't not see it.
Forget the plot and the rest,
It stars Brad Pitt.

My house is just great.
It is the biggest of all.
Don't give me hate,
Because I have a huge hall.

My money is so big.
You can't touch me.
Snap your account like a twig,
And end little old thee.

My views are the best.
You don't even compare.
Whether east or west,
I am something so rare.

I have the best hair style.
You can't touch it.
I'll put you on trial,
If you copy it a little bit.

My underwear is top notch.
Then won't ride up the butt.
Plus easy on the crotch.
They were worn by King Tut.

My blog is the best.
Come now and follow.
I'll be a whiny pest,
But my followback isn't hollow.

The best of the best.
It is clearly true.
Until something new is the best
Then that true comes due.

Wow, the best changes a lot. The best can just rot. The best is the best until it is not. The best can always go to pot. So are you the best? The best of the rest? Maybe you humans jest about the best to get it off your chest so you can be a pest? I'm through with my best sass from my best of all little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 4, 2015

A Dragon Star At Our Sand Bar?

It seems Alex, aka the ninja wannabe, is after me. Maybe that litter smell won't come off mini him? That has to be kind of grim. The cat will just eat his ninja wannabe belt. Wait! Bad idea, my eyes may melt. Maybe just pelt him with cat hair. What am I going on about at my lair?


He came in the rain,
To begin our ear pain.
That mini ninja wannabe guy.
I gave him the stink eye.


See? The ears are hurt at my sea.
Damn that screechy mini ninja wannabe.
He can't sing in tune.
Worse than that chipmunk cartoon.


He tried to steal my paper.
That was the end of his caper.
We had to end his trespassing. 
My first thought was off gassing.


As you can see,
That didn't work for me.
I was all gassed out,
And still he did shout.


We tried a nap,
Figuring we'd ignore the chap.
But he played and played.
His chipmunk voice wouldn't fade.


I tried to strangle him with a cord or two.
But that did not do.
He slipped away.
Paper can do that, okay.


Even on the ass of Pat,
He kept bothering the cat.
Not even Pat's gas scared him away.
Think he likes stink at his bay?


He surely must.
In cat ass could he trust?
Seems a fetish has been revealed today.
Yep, he continued to play.


So Cassie and her but sniffing pal,
She sure is a butt sniffing gal,
 Tricked him into a trap.
Now I can finally take a nap.


There she stands guard,
Until we can throw him out in the yard.
Once more trapped below,
That place where we go.


What did the cat do to you ninja wannabe? Why did you send mini you after me? Are you planning an attack? The cat won't take flack. Especially to the ears. I see why you get all the cheers. Mini me has a voice in which not even a troll would rejoice. Hmmm, he was singing about a book. But we already got that at our nook. Be careful when you trespass because you may end up in the litter box of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.