Monday, January 11, 2016

It Works With Tons of Perks!

Don't you love the fly by night crap? They always try and suck in a sap. It works they always claim. When it ends up being very, very lame. But I'm sure that you know. Still giving it a go though.

100% effective it is.
Listen to our biz.
We tested it out on 99% of all.
Shhh, all that was stationed in an abandoned hall.

You won't regret this.
It brings such bliss.
It will heal your back.
Shhh, may give you a heart attack.

We've got just the thing for you.
It was tested thoroughly at our zoo.
You may just buy two.
Shhh, we really tested it at a zoo.

Will make your life great.
Nothing else can relate.
Buy it now and have it forever.
Shhh, forever is a short endeavor.

As seen on TV.
That means it is great for thee.
If you see it in view it can't be wrong.
Shhh, just nod with the model and play along.

Guaranteed to work or your money back.
It is so good it will never lack.
We know you want it.
Shhh, there is fine print about that first bit.

The next big thing.
Grab your phone and ring.
You'll want it right now.
Shhh, it's not yet a cash cow.

You can't live without one.
It helps life a ton.
Get yours today.
Shhh, we may exaggerate what we say.

Get yours while supplies last.
They are going really fast.
Soon they will be all gone.
Shhh, our full warehouse doesn't know about our con.

Won't ever let you down.
It holds the crown.
You just can't get another.
Shhh, we're out to fool you and your mother.

Love these claims at your sea? Are they believed by thee? See these things in ads everywhere. They think they can just say something rare. Next up people shall buy. Pfffft, most of the time just one big lie. All a pile of crap. Tested on nothing but some poor chimp or chap. Oh, but it is 100% true for every landmass. Pffft again says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

86 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Blue and Hank are asleep
      or on the road, like a toad
      and viola there you are #1

      Delete
    2. Got on in
      For the win
      Been a while
      Blue Wave sucked out a mile

      Delete
    3. Thanks Alex and Truedessa
      Was up late for a bit
      Was falling asleep
      But had to try it

      Delete
    4. The cat ruined your sleep
      Here at his keep

      Delete
  2. False, empty claims
    Are everywhere in life
    Take it with a grain of salt
    Or you may be in for strife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lesson you shall learn
      Never to return

      Delete
  3. So called research which everyone gets hoodwinked by, I'm afraid. And we fall for it over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hoodwinked is the word
      As the research is usually absurd

      Delete
  4. When I was in high school my mon bought me this "exfoliator" that was supposed to act like shaving your legs. Needless to say, when I used it, the hair was removed, but there was enough dead skin around to think someone sanded a piece of wood. Ouch much? Talk about as seen on TV. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha ouch to that
      Hope you ditched it like scat
      Sandpaper is cheaper too
      May as well use that at your zoo

      Delete
  5. Not much truth in advertising anymore. Except that baconator as seen on TV. That sucker is the bomb!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was there ever truth in it?
      Something like smoking would never ever cause cancer and shit

      Delete
  6. Gone, gone and almost gone
    Quicker than you grow a lawn
    Buy it now, it's tried and true
    Slicker than the morning dew
    Without this you can never live
    But salemen lie so do forgive

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Forgive one and all
      What is spouted at each hall
      So if you are a sucker
      Don't clench and pucker
      Just let it go
      Have to forgive you know

      Delete
  7. It Works With Tons of Perks!
    What they did to be real jerks
    Would pull a fast one
    Knocked them stunned
    Not to believe all these quirks

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The quirks suck one in
      And they usually aren't a win

      Delete
  8. As Seen on TV - and yet available without shipping and handling in stores. Never could figure out why people would want to order from the television.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, seems kinda dumb to do
      When no shipping at stores comes through

      Delete
    2. For those of us
      Who can't get out
      TV or online shopping
      Is what it's about

      Delete
    3. Online I can see
      But not really TV

      Delete
  9. Madison Avenue obviously speaks Canadian too. As Barnum and Bailey said, "A sucker is born everyday."
    To tell the truth, I've been the sucker a few times too. We ain't getting out of this world alive. I try to make the best of things, but I know very little of real value can be bought at a store.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I've been a sucker in life once or twice
      Learned my lesson so no repeat price

      Delete
  10. Well,now they have those little stores
    in the mall full of products as seen on TV
    I have to admit I go in for a laugh and
    often leave with the wth look...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I've seen a few
      I give them one little view
      As I walk by
      Not falling for their lie

      Delete
  11. My kids learned their lesson the hard way a few times. Once with the Magic Drawing Board, another with a SpongeBob launcher (launched about six inches).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always makes it seem better on TV
      When crap comes to be

      Delete
  12. Got love As Seen On TV
    Buy One Get One Free
    Don't worry about the little growth on your arm
    I'm sure it's not causing you any kind of harm
    and it's certainly not from taking our pill
    our product isn't making you ill
    What? Our phone number didn't change
    You just wrote them down all rearranged
    No, no please don't sue
    Have a million bucks at your zoo....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha about the size of it
      I'd sure for such a hit
      But then I'd have to be dumb
      And buy and then some

      Delete
  13. I think I've never ordered anything that I saw on TV...I just don't believe those promises.
    It does help to generally avoid ads to not get tempted into buying things I don't need ;)
    Have a great week!
    Beate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, good way to be
      Avoid them at your sea

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. lol there's no more
      Damn, I'm not coming to your store

      Delete
  15. And the best part is that for a limited time, they will send you two of their wonderful product instead of just one.

    ReplyDelete
  16. They are fun to watch with the commercials
    But most of them I don't think really work
    However people still buy the products
    Does that make them jerks?

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Con artists it may make them in the end
      As they drive people around the bend

      Delete
  17. They always throw in the extra knives too!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I hate it when people try to sell to me and make such ridiculous claims.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, and many there are
      Who try near and far

      Delete
  19. I hate it when people try to sell to me and make such ridiculous claims.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I don't believe any of those claims you see
    Now if they said "It's not great, but cheap,"
    I'd buy it to reward their honesty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe one should try that
      Could work where they are at

      Delete
  21. I sure don't listen to all the ads on TV since who knows if they are telling the truth. I just buy what I know will work or taste good and be good for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the best way to be
      As they all lie to you and me

      Delete
  22. Those late-night ads
    can cause me a fit.
    They're really so bad.
    'cept for the Catheter Sampler Kit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You like the feeling?
      Some dirty dealing?

      Delete
  23. omg, yes, yes, and yes. I feel like all of a sudden people are pitching these products on like every channel. It's overwhelming! Esp. the wraps... Sorry, I want to support you trying to make money but I do not believe that a wrap around my stomach will make me skinnier... egad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao yeah, that is sure not the truth
      Still weigh the same at your booth

      Delete
  24. You should totally get one of these. Dipshit expression sold separately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, could be a hit
      Many are a dipshit

      Delete
  25. Replies
    1. The fine print will get you every time!

      Delete
    2. Not four for three?
      Damn, almost had me

      That it will
      Takes your bill

      Delete
  26. Have to learn to ignore all of that these days. Once you take advantage of a "special" offer, your spam skyrockets!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, spam comes on in
      Sure can fill an email bin

      Delete
  27. I figure if they have to convince me their product is good.
    Then I'd keep away from it, yes I would.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do a u-turn right away
      Leads to a better day

      Delete
  28. Don't fall for that. It's mostly crap.

    ReplyDelete
  29. orlin N cassie......whoa....fora wee minit when we saw de werdz... fly by nite... we thinked thiz waz gonna be a bass terd burd post....thanx for changin it up.....we owe ya !! ☺☺☺ ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  30. I hate animal testing.
    I'm sure you do too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is one
      That gets a hate run

      Delete
  31. Nope, I never believe them anyway ~ Have to be careful what they say as its all done to get your money ~

    Have a good week Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, all for the dough
      With what they show

      Delete
  32. I've wasted too much money believing those ads! Fool me once, fool me twice, hell I'm gullible - fool me again.
    I never learn. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol one day you'll learn
      Or just return

      Delete
  33. The following reply
    Is brought to you by
    The dating agency
    That's good for thee
    If you don't get a date
    That aint so great
    If that be the case
    No disgrace
    The next six months are free
    For you and also me
    Six more months
    Of feeling the dunce.

    Gary, Gary, quite contrary...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugg to that
      Hate where we're at
      Dating crap
      Across the map
      Fooling a sap
      With each trap

      Delete
  34. Hey I believe it when all one has to do is spray something in a boat to make it float. Why always a boat? I should buy this to fix my roof...who needs shingles?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could keep the roof ready
      It would hold up steady

      Delete
  35. My husband is a sucker for that kind of crap. He buys the dumbest stuff, too. Like a banana slicer. WTF do you need a banana slicer for? A butter knife works just as well. I just cleaned out my kitchen of all the useless junk he's bought over the years. Sad thing is, he doesn't even cook. I don't know why he keeps buying this junk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But Katy Perry wore an 'as seen on Tv' bumpit!! lolol Funny it made such a huge headline. Guess the publicity it gave her made it worth the $19.99 and free shipping! ;) And it did give her the beehive look... so some of them work? buwahahaha to the banana slicer :)

      Delete
    2. haha maybe he does it to make you ask why?
      Or he could just do it on the fly

      Some of them work for a while
      But then they break and go out of style

      Delete
  36. Got another one just the other day
    For only $75 we'll bring more hits at your bay
    Let's see if I get it right today
    Pffft is all I have to say

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yep, they are all fake
      With the hit partake

      Delete
  37. So much crap advertised on late night TV
    if I see it adverted there
    I know it's not for me.
    These products cater to those who view all night
    viagara or pain killers or beauty products in sight
    just watching commercials gives me a fright!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, so scary they can be
      Glad I have no cable at my sea

      Delete
  38. Are you saying the shake weight is not worth the money I paid for it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably not
      But it may work and hit the spot

      Delete