Friday, March 11, 2016

Don't Stammer With The Hammer!

The cat heard some nut the other day that was spouting "be the hammer, not the nail" to all that came his way. A hammer may hurt a ton, but nails too can have fun.

Be the hammer, not the nail.
Hit the hammer time trail.
Should I use that?
Indulge the cat.

A hammer is large.
A hammer is in charge.
A hammer can smack.
Knock you out on the first whack.

A hammer can kill.
A hammer can bill.
A hammer can swing.
A hammer gets the major cha-ching.

Who doesn't want to be a hammer?
Even if you have a stammer.
Or risk going to the slammer,
Because you are a killer hammer.

But the hammer can break.
The hammer can take.
The hammer can get its due,
From turning all black and blue.

The hammer gets nailed.
The hammer has failed.
The hammer will die,
A miserable old guy.

Unless a female hammer.
Then she can ram her.
Ram her right up your arse.
That hammer sure isn't sparse.

The nail can poke.
Poke that hammer bloke.
Give it a slow bleed.
Many can spring up like a weed.

The hammer gets nailed.
The hammer gets tailed.
The hammer gets screwed.
Hey, both are pointy, dude.

Nails have control.
Nails have a role.
And without the nail,
The hammer does fail.

The cat would rather be a tool in a non handy man's house. It will stay shiny and never used even to kill a mouse. Would you rather be the hammer or the nail? I'd take the hammer and not fail. I wouldn't want to get nailed. That ship has sure sailed. Hey, I am snip snip. Whoops, that was a gutter trip. Without nails hammers are no good for much. Unless you are a hammer of one and such. Nails sure come in mass. I don't want any poking my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

87 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. First above all
      No sleep works at one's hall

      Delete
    2. She's the hammer today, Hank is the nail

      Delete
    3. Giving Hank a whack
      She can't take back

      Delete
    4. Congrats Betty
      It's a beauty!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. Oh my gosh I did it
    Thanks to not bring able to sleep
    Now I know the secret
    Which I will keep

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got the secret down
      No sleep in one's town

      Delete
  3. Ok someone is gonna say it so I will go ahead. I like to get nailed with a big ol' hammer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I knew that would come
      And then some

      Delete
  4. Never was much for hammers
    Or any other tools
    But if you don't know to use them right
    You could be a fool

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
  5. I admit it, I can't pound a nail
    They always bend or fly away, never seems to fail
    But do I really want to pound, it seems like such a chore
    Not to mention to my mind, would also be a bore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give it a good whack
      Make yourself a shack
      Give it a good miss
      Could end up in bliss

      Delete
  6. Wow...that's a lot of innuendos. I cracked up about the girl hammer. Lmao to be honest, I don't want to be the hammer or the nail. It sounds like both would be in pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, both would sure suck
      Maybe the hammer may pass the buck

      Delete
  7. Would it be wrong if I said I wanted to be the screwdriver...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, nothing wrong with that
      Is it lefty loosey righty tighty where you're at?

      Delete
  8. Can't touch this!
    That Hammer makes me hiss.
    In fact, I'd prefer not to be a tool;
    Does that make me a fool?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is probably wise
      No Hammer Time flies

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Two words: neighbors.... hammer
      If I did what I want to do...
      I'd end up in the slammer!

      Delete
    2. lol go on a murder streak
      Sending you up the creek

      Delete
    3. Might be worth it
      As they are full of.... spit

      Delete
    4. But, Blue you looked so cute in your
      work belt, and I know you know how
      to use your tool..haha..okay leaving

      Delete
    5. Blue is all on task
      With his tool and a flask?

      Delete
  10. If you hit your neighbor with a hammer
    you might land in the slammer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless they didn't see
      That it was from thee

      Delete
  11. I think you just hit the nail on the head
    If you'd have missed you might be dead . . . . lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol dead as a door nail
      That would be a big fail

      Delete
  12. Nails and hammers are so much fun,
    unless there's malintent, and then you run.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Run far far away
      Don't need to get nailed that way

      Delete
  13. Hammer or nail?
    Both have a sting in their tail!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Silly choice, why would you want to be the nail and get creamed. Hitting the neighbor on the head with a hammer sounds like such a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if only one could get away with it
      Then the neighbor would get hit

      Delete
  15. Well, how you put it I guess I'd rather be the nail. lol

    ReplyDelete
  16. Now I have that song in my head
    "If I had a hammer", ughh what dread.
    I like the song
    but, in my head, it goes on way too long.
    I shall be that hammer
    can do more damage and may end up in the slammer.
    It would be in self-defence
    so I would be aok, hence
    the hammer wins for me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha - that song came to my mind as well..

      Well I got a hammer,
      And I got a bell,
      And I got a song to sing, all over this land.

      Delete
    2. haha score one for the cat
      A song stuck in your head where you're at
      Self defence would work
      So a hammer can be a perk

      Delete
  17. ok this song comes to mind
    now I will leave it with you
    as I am so kind..

    It could get stuck in your head
    causing some dread...hahaha

    Peter, Paul & Mary – If I Had A Hammer Lyrics
    If I had a hammer,
    I'd hammer in the morning
    I'd hammer in the evening,
    All over this land

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not stuck in my head
      So there is no dread

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. haha - a blunder was had, but really cat I know that song was in your head...you will remember it when you are in your bed...

      Delete
    4. Got some other tune in my head
      So that may be there at bed

      Delete
    5. Well, in any case have a good night
      pleasant dreams

      Delete
    6. Hope you did
      And no song flipped your lid

      Delete
  18. Look at it this way. If you're the nail, you get to cause the damage. Hard, spiked, sharp instrument of pain. Sure the hammer can pound the nail into the flesh, but it's the nail that does the damage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      The nail can sure screw you

      Delete
  19. If assume the rhyme is hummer,
    your word - a nail,
    how many of us,thumpers
    got nailed to your bait...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nailed over a rhyme
      Now that was a chime

      Delete
  20. Ham or chicken? I'll be a hammer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Suck back the ham
      Let the chicken cause a car jam

      Delete
  21. orlin N cassie....

    iz thiz kinda like rock paper scizzorz ☺☺

    N sew.... like saw iz knota choice ??

    heerz two a crevice kelpfish kinda week oh end ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  22. Don't Stammer With The Hammer!
    Would work it well as a slammer
    Whether a jab
    Or a hard tap
    With hammer one gets to be a winner

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hammer nails it in
      Going for the win

      Delete
  23. I hit myself with a hammer once, it really hurt!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I guess it is all in the way you look a it! :)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  25. a hammer !!
    You never stop to surprise me Pat lol lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol surprise I can do
      Go anywhere at my zoo

      Delete
  26. A hammer's the one "in charge," and the nail is getting whacked, so I think I'd rather be the hitter than the hittee. Actually, I'd rather be duct tape. Much more useful, and no smashed thumbs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could be sticky
      And end up on something icky

      Delete
  27. I'd rather be a hammer. I'd also rather run over a hammer. Those damn nails sure to cause tires to fail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Been there, done that
      Ran over a few where I'm at

      Delete
  28. No to the hammer
    No to the nail
    If murder's your intent
    I might visit you in jail

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be a jail groupee
      There at your sea?

      Delete
  29. Hammer, always. I'm too stubborn for anything else. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give all a whack
      A hammer will never lack

      Delete
  30. Replies
    1. Underdogs need to win
      Do the big guys in

      Delete
  31. I'm an equal opportunity hammer, nail girl. Without one or the other, it doesn't work. Believe me I know. Driving a nail with a rock or the end of a screwdriver is wronnnnng.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, that won't work
      Sure can't turn out to be a perk

      Delete
  32. Definitely a hammer; I don't want to be stuck in one place!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A nail would get stuck
      And be shit outta luck

      Delete
  33. Another great verse from you Pat. Keep up the good work.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  34. That's a new phrase to me.
    Funny as can be!

    ReplyDelete
  35. It's Hammer Time!! I used to dance to that song

    ReplyDelete