Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Empower Yourself Like A Happy Elf!

The cat really thinks humans need to get a grip. But I guess from the Kool-Aid some take a big sip. Have to have others to prop them up. More attention seeking than a butt sniffing pup.

My life is stinky,
Even for blinky.
Hmm, was that bad?
But Blinky is sad.

I know the way,
To a much brighter day.
Can get you a wife,
And free you from strife.

Make you a better life,
As sharp as a knife.
It will be shiny too.
Shiny as a golden loo.

Old one eye knows of that.
She lied to the cat.
But we won't go there.
What? You can help me get over it at my lair?

Only for $399.99 a week?
My, that is the deal I seek.
How about that?
Are you with that cat?

You could have it made.
Relax all day in the shade.
Empower yourself each day.
Just listen to what they say.

They sure know best.
They aren't a pest.
They are a happy guest.
They sponge off you the best.

The best times two.
Whatever will you do?
You got the best best.
That has to give you zest.

So give them a call.
You won't fall.
You will rise up.
No need for coffee in your cup.

Hire a life coach today.
Empowering will come your way.
They will get you a better life,
Free from stress and strife.

Pfffffft and if you believe that I have a bridge I can sell you where I'm at. It is soooo cheap and sturdy as can be. Don't you want to buy that bridge from me? Pfffft once more to life coach nuts. You want advice? Get off your poor pitiful me butts. There, the cat saved you a ton of dough. Aren't I helpful at my show? Did you ever take a life coaching class? You might want to never tell my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

64 comments:

  1. Sometimes it's good,
    Sometimes it's bad,
    But it should be understood -
    Life's the best game to be had.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always wondered how someone became a "life coach". Did they play the game of life so well in high school and college that they are now qualified to coach it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in literally played The Game of Life? Now that's funny...

      Delete
    2. haha maybe they became a pro
      Does monopoly work for stock brokers though

      Delete
  3. Empower Yourself Like A Happy Elf!
    To determine directions for yourself
    A deal to seek
    Let it be big
    Keep them guessing, pretend to be deaf

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretend to be
      And much more you can hear and see

      Delete
  4. Could be better than hiring a personal shopper. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning Rosie
      Can you imagine having someone shopping
      for you?

      Delete
    2. Well then you'd never have to leave home
      Letting them go and roam

      Delete
  5. Give me a break
    I'll order cake
    Four hundred semoleons a week?
    You got the cheek
    Teach me about life?
    Are you under the knife
    Have you lived life to the fill
    And now it doth spill?
    You may just be right
    Grab hold of your kite
    Sail off in the breeze
    But don't cough or sneeze

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sail away
      Across the bay
      Then watch them sink
      Works I think

      Delete
  6. One Eye lied?
    I bet you cried.
    How dare she!
    So sad to see.
    lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol just hawked up a hairball
      That is still dispelling things at ones hall

      Delete
  7. Don't think I would be interested in a life coach
    Seems like an extra thing not needed at this stage of the game
    Like to keep my money and not pay for same

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a good way to be
      Crazy to spend it on them at any sea

      Delete
  8. Life coaching is hilarious, isn't it? Or maybe just sad that people can't figure out how to be happy and productive on their own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it is a mixture of both
      Guess they need some nutty life coach for growth

      Delete
  9. Goodness, what a great way to throw away one's money, and that is too hire a life coach. No thank you and the cats sure can't afford that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, screw that
      Keep our money where we are at

      Delete
  10. Love this Pat
    "Make you a better life,
    As sharp as a knife."

    Sounds funny lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the cat pokes fun
      Every which way with his run

      Delete
  11. Always a sales job going on somewhere!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lots of ways to throw away your money.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You just said my manager's favorite line - "Drink the cool aid, just drink the damn cool aid!".

    There are plenty of ways to throw away money. I'm sure we're all guilty of participating in one or ten...right??? lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol probably we've all done it
      But I'll never drink the cool aid for that life coach shit

      Delete
  14. orlin N cassie...a bridge ewe say.....over traffix ore over waterz.... coz we mite just wanna buy it.... if itz over waterz !!! ☺☺☺ ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it may be
      You'd have to buy to see

      Delete
  15. No life coach for me, just chocolates to get over the bumps of life ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A much cheaper way
      There at your bay

      Delete
  16. I've been watching videos of Tony Robbins he is really inspirational. I assume a lot of people can use direction and inspiration ......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it helps them out
      Go for it as he gives a shout

      Delete
  17. A bridge you say? Well I have some old swamp land that I need to sell as well. Interested? lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol my bridge may not fit
      Could sink in it

      Delete
  18. Life Coach?!? Is that a PC way
    Counselors and therapists to say?
    Just how many steps above or below
    Is a Life Coach I want to know

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beats the heck outta me
      They can go drown in the sea

      Delete
  19. Back and forth
    Tongue in cheek
    Life holds much
    For those who seek

    But don't let salesman
    Slow you stride
    Enjoy what you have
    There's no need to hide.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let it ride
      Take it in stride
      Just don't choke
      On the words of the bloke

      Delete
  20. Ahh, yes these people have actually been to conferences I have been. They say the same things that one can find in the section in the bookstores called self-help. Oh well, .....wish I could charge $590 and hour for this stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, wish that would come due
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Maybe it's a cult member disguised as a life coach trying to recruit new members.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could be
      As they suck money dry at any sea

      Delete
  23. I love the emails I receive daily stating if I hand over so much money, everything in my life will improve. Accept my bank account.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, gone down the drain
      Bank account won't gain

      Delete
  24. That should be except...proofreading is so overrated ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha accept is worse
      Like telling them to take your purse

      Delete
  25. I couldn't be a life coach......but if anyone wants to know anything abou Danny Boy that's a different matter altogether.
    Great write Pat.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got that down
      There in your town

      Delete
  26. Number one!
    Such fun!

    No? How stressful!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I do wonder sometime what a life coach would say
    whether I have made mistakes at my bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft let them fry
      Give them the evil eye

      Delete
  28. I'll skip on the life coach, but will take Rosey up on a personal shopper. It's something that I dread doing!

    ReplyDelete