Saturday, March 12, 2016

Shake Your Head And Raise The Dead!

The cat hears this a time or two. Then he actually hears it at his zoo. It can be rather loud. May also leave a cloud. Yeah, a bit juvenile at my bay. But that works for me any other day.

Women don't fart.
They take that to heart.
No passing of gas.
Nope, not for a lass.

So what are they?
What should we say?
Aliens they are?
Illegals by far?

Some machine?
Clearly unclean.
A backfiring one.
Skynet having fun.

Maybe it's Banner and The Hulk.
They change over with umm bulk.
When the fart is to come,
They turn into something else with a bum.

A well kept secret from me?
Not very secretive at their sea.
For some let it rip.
Even lift their hip.

Profanity Granny proved that.
She can do it so loud she scares the cat.
Maybe old age doesn't count?
No matter the noise or amount.

Beats being up shit creek,
Following through as out they sneak.
Oh what an image there.
It's okay to sit and swear.

The cat has caught on,
To the never ever con.
A sneak changing thing.
With Jekyll and Hyde women had a fling.

Now they can change on a whim.
Can't always stay proper and prim.
They switch to this or that,
And let it go where they are at.

Makes perfect sense to me.
They need to let them fly free.
The cat solved the case,
Sharing all with the human race.

Are you insistent that you don't fart? Do you really take that to heart? Not saying anything is fine and dandy. The cat just finds it funny when some women keep that handy. Adamant they do not at all, scrunchy face and all at their hall. They look like they are holding in the gas. Holding it in isn't good for any lad or lass. I guess I just have no class. The cat lets it fly out his little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

55 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No.#1 position regained
      Not subject to hammering!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. Shake Your Head And Raise The Dead!
    Take a strong stand come to a head
    Make good starts
    Control the farts
    To create a good impression instead

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha sneak them out
      No one will shout

      Delete
  3. I guess after a while those women just explode. Cleanup on aisle four...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao that is nasty indeed
      Wouldn't want that clean up at my feed

      Delete
  4. If the chick's favorite food is pork and beans, you can rest assured she can out fart you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is true
      Easy that way to do

      Delete
  5. The images Cat doth portray
    Are funnier than a donkey's bray
    To lift the hip and let it rip
    Is like a dance to do the dip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A dance and prance
      To get a glance
      Then while in a stance
      let it loose like a lance

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Luck you say?
      Pfft at my bay

      Delete
    2. lucky 13
      might make you some green

      Delete
    3. hey I won on 022 it came in 202..still a winner...

      Delete
    4. Yeah right
      But could take flight

      Delete
    5. hey you never know...I think I'll give it a go..play it tomorrow on 3/13

      Delete
    6. Blue may win
      Both could give it a spin

      Delete
  7. Women don't stinker and their feet never smell either. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Makes my kids laugh when I say it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha determined in your stance
      Doing no fart dance

      Delete
  8. We never have the farts around these parts, yea right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha right you are
      Farts..not near and far

      Delete
  9. You know what they say the silent ones are deadly but, what do I know as mine are sparkly..lol...that I think will stay with me forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that will be stuck forever indeed
      Sparkly farts at your feed

      Delete
  10. If women fart they rarely admit it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. 'They need to let them fly free.'
    when exploded as busted balloon
    they will return from the moon...

    ReplyDelete
  12. We will never tell about the farts. Take care Pat.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Part of life I think to fart
    People just need to take that to heart
    And admit when they do
    And not hold it in until they are blue

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That can cause ache
      So let it out on each take

      Delete
  14. The older I get
    The more farts I let.
    Oh, is that TMI?
    How brown is YOUR eye?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha let it fly
      Doesn't bother this guy

      Delete
  15. Both my parents hated to fart
    In fact the word word alone would give them a start.
    So when I was young, I was in much pain.
    Holding it in, stomach a mess and in much pain.
    I told my ex who told me it is unnatural
    And , in fact, it is quite factual
    That we must fart's earl times a day.
    Now, what more can I say?
    It is healthy to have gas
    Come out from our ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Healthy it is
      No holding it biz
      Just let it fly
      On the first try

      Delete
  16. I used to blame it on the rats but now I blame it on the dog. Wasn't me. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol dogs are easier to blame in on
      Many will fall for that con

      Delete
  17. I taught third grade, and third grade boys loved anything to do with farts! I always liked to read them The BFG, especially the whipper section. It was always fun to see how quickly they caught on to what Roald Dahl was writing about. But best of all were the incredulous looks they gave me because I was actually reading it aloud to them! The girls of course did not fart! LOL Have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol 3rd grade boys
      Sure had fart joys
      Girls pretended not too
      As it was eww

      Delete
  18. Girls fart
    But it's an art
    To try and subdue
    Or blame another, too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Subdue you say
      So that's how they kidnap at their bay?

      Delete
  19. Gassy cats I do not have at all.
    Why is Orlin so gassy at your hall? lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol only when he gets into stuff
      As he gives a puff

      Delete
  20. If I tell you whether I fart or not… Then I would have to kill you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to find me first
      For any killing burst

      Delete
  21. I own my farts with pride. I expect applause from the neighbors with how loud mine can be ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao now that is a fart
      Loud and taken to heart

      Delete
  22. Sounds like something my grandson would write!
    Ha ha!!

    ReplyDelete