Friday, June 3, 2016

A Ruler So Cooler!

The cat was pondering the question of he would do if he ruled the world at his zoo. The question was easy to answer for me. Is it easy to answer for thee?

Why would I want that?
I'm just a rhyming cat.
I'll sit and nap.
Not a ruling chap.

But if I had to,
I'd give all a golden loo.
You should like where you shit.
That would create no fit.

Then we'd abolish cold weather.
We'd do it together.
Except where the polar bears roam.
Wouldn't want them attacking my home.

Then we'd kill all disease.
It would be a breeze.
Fire all the "find the cure" bimbos.
And give the money to one who knows.

I'd print my own money.
I'd name it something funny.
Then hand all a million of it.
That may crash the market a bit.

The cat would kill fleas too.
Really, what do they do?
Just make us all itch.
Burn the whole lot in a ditch.

I'd demand vets get a thermometer up their ass.
Then they know how it feels up their mass.
That would be a good one.
It should really be done.

I'd make all cars fly.
Rid the world of stupid humans in the sky.
The idiots would die.
Smart people wouldn't cry.

I'd make sure I got waited on every minute of every day.
No rest for any at my bay.
They have to feed me and clean my crap.
Hmm, that is already done by that Pat chap.

But screw that.
Too much work for the cat.
Except for maybe the vet.
I'd like to know that was met.

Would you do much? Is it too much to even touch? Ready to rule the world at your sea? The vet one should be done for free. The cat would also hope it caused them gas. That is what they get for sticking things up my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

60 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. look at your insomnia go
      Three in a row

      Delete
  2. if I ruled the world
    I would try to get rid of hate
    Or do something to make
    People not be late

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both good ones indeed
      No late idiots taking seed

      Delete
  3. I would make all pompous asses go live in a hideous private jungle for one year infested with all kinds of nasty critters. If that doesn't cure them, then off with their heads!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha would end pompous asses everywhere
      Although you may get plenty a hateful glare

      Delete
  4. I thought the cat was already waited on hand and foot?
    I'd abolish speed limit signs. Really, who needs them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, he is already
      Hmmm nut balls everywhere driving unsteady

      Delete
  5. A Ruler So Cooler!
    Moved things so clever
    Stayed on top
    King of the lot
    Real fun like no other

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun can be had
      At the top of the pad

      Delete
  6. Wonderful Pat, just the verse to cheer me this Friday morning.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If you're printing money
    I'll take some that looks funny
    Insert picture of the cat
    he can even wear a hat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would be funny money
      But might get some honey

      Delete
  8. Interesting, everyday will be a holiday at my end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holidays then would have any meaning though
      Be a flip flop show

      Delete
  9. I already sat upon a golden loo
    it's something I don't need to do
    because I already took a dump
    at the golden NYC Trump
    you saw the pics of the loo with your own eyes
    and it was quite the spectacular surprise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfffft the cat still contests that
      In the loo there was no pee or scat
      Who says you sat on it?
      The cat wants to see the shit lol

      Delete
  10. I would have all cell phone stop working once a person started their car
    Distracted driving is not needed near my bar.
    All screaming kids would have their mouths zipped shut
    All spoiled kids ,22 and over, would be out on their butt.
    That woman who let her kids crawl into the Gorilla's den
    Would be heavily fined....a thousand times 10.
    There is more I would do at my sea
    But now I must go and make some tea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More strict laws for whiny kids
      Who at every turn flip their lids
      Would sure be a way to be
      Cellphone nuts also deserve a steep fee

      Delete
  11. If I ruled the world all hair would be curled
    And would bounce like a flag come unfurled
    No more dryers or curlers, life would be a breeze
    Ready to be on the go in the blink of a sneeze

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing to hold you back
      Could just mosey on out with no flack

      Delete
  12. I'd stop all political ads and phone calls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trump calling you?
      New number needed at your zoo lol

      Delete
  13. Abolish cold weather????
    What would I do with my sweaters?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang them on the tree
      Block neighbor guys sights to see

      Delete
  14. Abolish work and play all day
    Spend the cat's funny money
    Not let politicians have a say
    And no scrambled eggs that are runny


    And I should not attempt choppy rhyme
    Happy Friday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A choppy rhyme
      Can still be a fun time
      Through the eggs away
      Or toss em at the politicians for play

      Delete
  15. Trump probably has a golden loo. Come to think of it Hillary does too. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They both have them I fear
      No brains in their head or rear

      Delete
  16. Well to be honest, I have no desire to rule the world. That would be job and a half and for sure no one would like what you do. Although it does seem that Trump is trying to rule the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trump is sure trying
      As the lies are flying

      Delete
  17. I'd do away with all the little expressions which may be grammatically correct, but bug me anyway, like "baby bump" and so many others!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol you'd be all year
      Trying to get them all clear

      Delete
  18. Yeah. I'm for no thermometers up the butt, too.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Golden loos and supporting the people who actually try to find a cure? You got my vote!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Score one for the cat
      Can only go up from that lol

      Delete
  20. Replies
    1. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off
      Don't scoff

      Delete
  21. This hit me a lot harder than some of your others. Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad the hard was good
      And not a bad hit in your hood

      Delete
  22. Taco Tuesday every day
    Warm weather definitely a ok!
    Rid the world of all disease
    And, yes, get rid of those pesky fleas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All wins for every shore
      some may get sick of tacos galore

      Delete
  23. Boy would things change if I were the Ruler!

    ReplyDelete
  24. orlin N cassie

    we see de makingz oh another book in progrezz !!! ☺☺☺

    yur own cash monee huh.....just make sure noe one counter fitz it !!!

    heerz two a stoneroller minnow kinda week oh end♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could turn it into a book
      Counterfeiters would get tossed in a brook

      Delete
  25. Cats sure look at the world in a different way.
    I really like what the cat has to say.
    Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      With their wordly view

      Delete
  26. Don't we all rule the world at our seas?
    world with no money, flying cars, no disease
    would be fun, but no challenge, agree,
    and no superheroes then for thee...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, no superheroes needed
      As things would already be deeded

      Delete
  27. Ruling the world or a whole bunch of people would be too much pressure. Ruling my house seems more enjoyable. :)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a much easier way
      There at your bay

      Delete
  28. Abolish cold weather? Nooo, I look forward to the winter time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With heat like at your sea
      Some cold can stay for thee

      Delete
  29. Reminds me of the old adage: If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is sure true
      As a wishing is all some can do

      Delete
  30. I don't want to rule
    But if I had to do so
    I'd make sure all pets
    Had great homes with no woe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good way to be
      Pets from sea to sea

      Delete