Wednesday, August 31, 2016

A What Off Idiot Spree At My Sea!

Over at Brian the cat's sea he does an opt to adopt spree. But this What Off gets turned around. Nope, not from cat to hound. He is much nicer than me so this What Off let's it fly free. Idiots galore from shore to shore.

I'm so great.
I'm so grand.
I got a new mate,
Here in my land.

Whoopsy, they don't like cats.
Time to send them away.
Even dogs, fish and rats,
Can't have them on display.

I broke up.
They are gone.
I'll get a new pup.
They were a con.

A new love of my life.
Oopsy, goodbye to the pup.
They may be my husband/wife,
Can't have a pup to create a hiccup.

Broke up once more.
Time for a new cat.
And so goes the encore,
With such a rotten ass dingbat.

Then comes a sniffle.
Oh, it is oh so bad.
With a little whiffle,
Cat/dog/etc. time has been had.

Got a new child.
It is so great.
But the cat/dog/etc. runs wild.
Goodbye is their fate.

Idiots galore.
Opt to adopt?
Toss them off shore,
A philosophy to adopt.

Watch as they drown,
In fish crap all over.
Please any cat in town,
As well as any rover.

Opt to adopt them all?
The fishes say, Hell no!
Let them have a great fall,
Drowning in fish shit below.

There was quite the spin on opt to adopt. Stupid humans should be forced to adopt that opt. Care to opt to adopt that one and toss them in a lake? Hmm make a horse kick them in so you won't get a law breaking mistake. Seen a few who gave pets up time and time again due to relationships at their den. Idiots they are in mass. Such people aren't even good enough to kiss my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

A What Off View That May Scare You!

Betty stopped viewing from a bench and threw in a What Off wrench. It was quite as weird as can be. Who knew she could go all scary spree? I guess now all do with these in view.

Big scary teeth.
Who cares what's beneath.
They'll eat you whole.
A view from which you must stroll.

Dead in the back.
A view you want to lack.
You'll see it and die.
At least you won't see eye to eye.

A view not for you.
Blah at any zoo.
Maybe not for a mutt.
But they sniff a butt.

A view of umm this.
Food and bliss.
Bliss and food.
Isn't that rude?

A view of the creepy.
Movie may make you weepy.
Garbage Pal kids.
Smelling like trash lids.

A creepy clown.
He's gonna track you down.
Did you get a view of it?
 Better run for a good long bit.

Giving birth.
Do it all over Earth.
Now a view you can see.
Doesn't it impress thee?

Boobs galore.
They are in store.
Love that view?
Okay to admit it to be true.

The return view.
Seen a time or two.
Even at Jax's place.
Love the zombie feet embrace?

And this is your view,
After all has come due.
 Can I get an ewwww?
Maybe an eww times two.

Did any scare you? Have to look away upon view? Maybe Betty shouldn't go What Off any day. Stick to views from a bench at her bay. Or is that a bench with a view? Hey, my way works too. Did you enjoy the scary mass? Bah, is all that needs to be said by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 29, 2016

A Writer List With A What Off Twist!

Chrys Fey said she was saved from the cat's wrath a while ago. Well I just had to fix that, you know. She sure came with a What Off post. Who knew writers she wanted to roast?

Don't do that.
Don't be a cat.
That is just wrong.
Sing a new song.

Be normal as can be.
Normal? Beats me.
But be it.
Not some other shit.

You'll never rise,
With such a disguise.
Just follow me.
Let yourself free.

Don't be a ninja wannabe.
That's an awful spree.
Don't be a cat.
Whoops, I said that.

So you can spell.
What the hell.
You have two blogs.
Don't be time hogs.

They're, there and their is here.
Of them you have no fear.
But you're a blue guy.
That just gets an oh me, oh my.

That's not the way.
Not the way to pay.
That is the way to fail.
So hit the trail.

Don't follow me.
No saying spree.
They are so cliche.
Make them go away.

Hit the trail was it.
In case you didn't pick up that bit.
You don't even need to read.
Just type a story at your feed.

No editing needs to be done.
Shove it in the face of everyone.
Read the writing on the wall.
For today, that is all.

Wowweee, she sure gets quite the ego trip when she let's the What Off rip. May want to do the opposite of all of that? What? This was written by the cat? Haven't you learned yet? I'm just a channeling pet. I channel the What Offs of all. Then I give them a call. I know you believe such a pass. You have to trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

A True Lie What Off Fly!

It seems we have another liar today. Maybe her pants are on fire at her bay? Is that just wishful thinking toward liars? Maybe some pyromaniac that likes to set fires? Beats the heck out of me. On with the What Off from Liedessa at our sea.

The moon is large.
The moon is grand.
It causes a charge,
All across the land.

It make you pay.
It takes your money.
You buy what's on display.
It makes you act funny.

No need to howl.
No need to stare.
You won't growl,
Or run around bare.

Nope, you'll buy.
Buy or die.
Buy on the fly.
Buy first try.

The moon isn't real.
Nope, not one bit.
It is there to create a deal,
And that is it.

Subliminal messaging to crowds.
It is there to make you buy.
Pull back the shrouds.
I tell you no lie.

The full moon gets all.
That half moon gets some.
When the others fall,
Some play dumb.

Marketing for the rich.
It has you in hand.
Feel that twitch?
Isn't subliminal messaging grand?

Even if you have no dough,
You have a credit card.
If neither one though,
You'll dig for gold in the yard.

All so you, buy, buy, buy.
Buy until you die.
Buy on the first try,
When a full moon does fly.

Who knew the moon wasn't real? That is quite the ordeal. Liedessa is sure moon obsessed. Aren't you glad she confessed? Now you can all hide away. No moon causing Black Friday. Hmm Liedessa may be full of it. Didn't they land on that shit? That could have been a fake too. You decide what is true. Liedessa and Truedessa can fight in mass. I'll just be a watching little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

A What Off Tweet Ever So Neat!

Humbird goes all What Off today and gives up her humming way. She is Tweetbird now. Doesn't that just wow? Beats a cow. Moocow would raise an eyebrow.

140 characters or less.
That is a mess.
Life is a mess.
That I confess.

See what I did?
Did I do rid?
Rid the did?
Flip your lid?

See my food?
Food isn't rude.
Ate lunch today.
Love the display.

Bored at work.
Work isn't a perk.
Working to work.
Work working jerk.

Flip and flop.
You can't stop.
Flop to flip.
Take a dip.

The best, insert whatever here.
The best gets a cheer.
Besting the best.
Best beat the rest.

I'm raring to go.
Beats stop, you know.
Go to stop.
Go's a flop.

My baby sleeps through the night.
Sleeping is a fright.
Fright in the night.
Nightmares aren't right.

Enjoy my cool jazz.
Don't be a spaz.
Spaz to jazz.
Jazz of the spaz.

Not a word.
Word to absurd.
Absurd life's word.
So says the Tweetbird.

I guess those prompts went out the window. Tweetbird uses Twitter tweets to prompt her show. That could lose a brain cell or two. Maybe she better stick to humming at her zoo. Do you hum or tweet to the Twitter beat? Hum means avoid that sass. No need to be a tweeting little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 26, 2016

A What Off Quack On The Attack!

Sherry sure had her duck bill going. She came up with quite the What Off showing. Or maybe it was an admission of guilt that she tried to quilt? Beats little old me here at my sea.

Mama Diaries at play,
Almost every day.
I get the stories.
Tell the glories.

Tell the weird.
Can get cheered.
What was that?
I'm a duck not a cat?

Ducks paddle fast?
Ducks have a blast.
Ducks need to duck.
Back up the truck.

My son said this...
Whoops, it was a miss.
My daughter did it.
Nope, not that bit.

It was the pup.
Schultz licked it up.
Or was it the cat?
Oh, this is going splat.

Too many identities at my sea.
I'm turning into Old One Eye and her spree.
I can't have that.
A cyclops duck is not where it's at.

It was all me.
All stories I did with glee.
Yep, I did every bit.
It feels good to admit.

How long is a day?
Gave that a play.
Scaredy Cat.
Really me where I'm at.

Cat conversations.
Tuned to the same stations.
The aging machine.
All me at my scene.

Doggy Spa.
All I can say is aww.
The cookie caper.
I made the paper.

Hmmm was that really a What Off display? More like Sherry had guilt at her bay. She wanted to confess to it all and used the cat's wall. How dare she fool everyone. Her kids are busy out having fun. So she made things up that she did. Maybe she needs to be turned into a squid? Nah, the cat didn't confess for her. I haven't got a lying bone under my fur. Can you believe she was such a tricky lass? She sure fooled my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

A What Off Killer Gets Her Filler!

Wow, the cat never knew she had such a dark side. Maybe she does more than just ride on each bike ride. The cat doesn't even want to know. She may bury me in a hill of snow. Snowcatcher is here. Her What Off may strike fear. She uses her quilting techniques for bad. But she thinks it is rad.

Her kill room.
It's full of doom.
 She even has slaves.
They live in bear caves.

Here skills at work.
She gave a sly smirk.
She un-sewed a head.
Wow, he's good and dead.

She even took an eye,
Really pissing off this guy.
 Guess he only has eye for you.
Too soon at my zoo?

She un-sewed his guts.
Damn, she really went nuts. 
I hear she sewed him back up though.
Into what? I don't want to know.

She took his bottom.
That will get cold in autumn.
He's pleading with her.
She cares not for his brrrrr.

She left only a head.
She really wanted this one dead.
 See how she cut the neck off though?
She has scary skills to show.

Another brain ripper.
At least it wasn't a stripper.
Just some old guy.
A snowflake brain probably won't fly.

She even left her tool behind.
That is so unkind.
I guess it got rusty.
She wants tools that are trusty. 

A rib attack.
Love that rib rack?
She un-sewed it all.
How mean of Snowcatcher ignoring her call.

Her attempt at plastic surgery failed.
 But her maiming skills are nailed.
She went off the deep end a tad.
Maybe all the snowflakes drove her mad?

Are you scared of Snowcatcher now? Her violent side sure can wow. She'd sure survive on The Walking Dead and stab those zombies in the head. Maybe in season 7 she'll be the star? Bet she could ride her bike that far. What? You don't believe me? Pffft she is as deadly as can be. If you see her step on your grass, don't say you weren't warned by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

A What Off Movie Day At Play!

The cat almost threw up at this post. I actually did hack up a hairball the other day at our coast. Maybe I knew this was coming due. Birgit sure lets her What Off spew. Instead of Thursday she picked movies Wednesday at her bay. Wowee, what a day can do for her taste with those on display.

 Highlander is here.
It so deserves a cheer.
Why is that?
There can be only one where it's at.

Dark on screen.
That is serene.
Dark is all you see.
Dark impresses me,

Poop machines galore.
 So great at any shore.
Watch the poop machines poop.
They are quite the troop.

 Can take a ride.
Amusement in stride.
Not much swearing at all.
Such a nice last call.

A movie so dense,
It makes perfect sense.
Perfect sense to my cat. 
He napped through it on the mat.

So so great.
None can relate.
 Look at those pants.
Can sure impress umm ants.

 This you have to see.
It will impress thee.
Impress thee so much.
The TV you'll never again want to touch.

Nuked and alive.
A fridge to survive.
Tarzan comes into play.
Wow, such a fun display.

The police are coming.
The Russians are chumming.
Two for one.
Isn't that fun?

The Mask.
A dog put to task.
Just like number one, right?
Let it take flight.

Wowweee. I just lost brains cells from looking at them at my sea. Birgit gets no more What Offs done. She sure has a scary Wednesday movie run. Run is what you should do if any of these ever come into view. What was that? Nah, they weren't picked by the cat. She picked this whole very very very bad movie mass. You can trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Round Forty Nine As The Nuts Align!

Getting close to fifty, isn't that nifty? They keep on finding me and they keep falling from the creepy tree. Hey, gives the cat a post. Works for me at my coast. So with a break from What Off land the crazies come lend a hand.

Hand up my ass

That may offend if such a hand you lend.

furry x human

Some strange math? Furry and human bath?

furries with humans

Aren't they the same? One is just more lame.

girls sniffing girls butt

The new Playboy issue? Hope you have a tissue.

dirty sexy christmas

Still four months away. Hold onto your dirty play.

can i rhyme blog

No you can't. Go fry an ant.

big ass without bikini

There is a sight to see. Did it impress thee?

animals on my sack

That can hurt indeed. Especially when they take off at high speed.

goats and goats and goats and

We get the point. You're a goat lover at your joint.

love is in my womb

Good for you. Why you looking at my zoo?

Can I eat your nose

Umm hell no. Away you must go.

Humped and dumped

At least you got a thrill. Hope you used the pill.

work sucks donkey butt

I agree, most times at my sea.

horny old grump on a bike

That was quite the specific hike. Did you hit a strike?

And what beats the last one for the win of this run? Why someone who likes hair. They like it a lot at their lair. They must if this is true. For it is rather ewww.

Back hair floorplay munching

First they can't spell or maybe they like rolling around on the floor of their cell? Hey, the cat won't judge. Okay, maybe a bit as they chew back hair like fudge. Love that image there? Gonna chew some hair? Go ahead and chew in mass, just never tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 22, 2016

A What Off Drunk In A Funk!

The cat has a What Off today that proves why one barely posts at her bay. She says it is because she is having fun. Really though, she knows she may bore everyone. Look what happens when Anne posts every day. It goes very much astray.

I have to post every day.
We can't have my fans go away.
But my miniature painting has all been shown.
So here is artwork, you can name this one, I draw when I'm alone.

I call this one the whack.
Can't you see it is an attack?
Maybe of a mime?
I don't have the time.

Unicorn with bad hair.
This one is really rare.
It could be worth a lot.
Too bad, it is already bought.

A circular thingy.
Or maybe a dingy.
I'll let you pick.
I drew it some slick.

A house for a mouse.
What a great house.
I impress myself.
Could also be for an elf.

A rubber ducky.
 Some may find it what the flucky.
But it has a big price tag.
No, you can't have it, so don't nag.

Man in a suit.
He is a brute.
Chopped off a bear head.
Now wears the thing dead.

The robo gunner.
What could be funner?
A robot with a gun.
That impresses everyone.

This is a man in a rock.
It might come as a shock.
But a man is in a rock.
Nope, he can't talk.

And finally, this one is of me.
In it can't you see me with glee?
My sharp teeth and beady eyes,
I sure seem oh so wise.

The cat can't show any more artwork from Anne. He may create too many a fan. Or make a bunch of people hurl. Now you see what happens if Anne gave posting every day a whirl. That last one sure has her look down though. Doesn't it just have her Irish glow? The cat may now go hide from that Irish Air lass. She may not appreciate her artwork being shown off by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

At The Tones Some What Off Bones!

What if Al only had one pic? That wouldn't make captain caption a fun flick. The same thing over and over could bore rover. Or could it? I guess we'll prove it with this What Off bit.

A headless situation today.
But now it can go astray.
Watch what I do.
I can make a few.

"Like this is real.
What's your deal?
A cat on a skeleton thing? 
Looking for a feline fling?"

"Al is nuts.
Stuck in ruts.
His only friend.
I have no rear end."

"That Penwasser is at it again.
I'll call my men.
Why can't I work this phone?
Throw a dog a bone."

"Bone? I'm wise.
Not falling for your lies.
Besides I can eat myself.
 Clinton can't add that to his trophy shelf."

"Bone? Where?
I have the stare.
Where is the bone?
I feel so alone."

 "Wow, I'm here.
All can come and peer.
I feel so naked today.
What happened to my dick anyway?"

"My ass moved to my chin.
Is that a win?
 See me strut.
Bone that, you mutt."

"Do I get my bone?
Damn this stupid phone.
Why won't it work?
I'll get that Penwasser jerk."

And so it goes.
Step on toes.
With a headless Bones.
 Somewhere Clinton moans.

I guess it could still work. Want to see your head on Bones for a perk? Al could go anywhere with that. What? No, it wasn't done by the cat. I don't want Bush coming after me. I'll leave the bush for Clinton to see. Whoops, was that crass? Doesn't bother my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.