Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Redneck Way Gone Astray!


The redneck keeps it real today as she gets a What Off display. Did you ever wonder what her blog would be like if drinking were to take a hike? Well now you will know. May not want to though.

My alcohol is gone.
Wine out on the lawn.
Time for a new day.
Shed the redneck way.

Oh look, a cute story.
I'll show it in its glory.
Baby says its first word.
What a cute little turd.

Awww, I have to share this.
It just brings poor bliss.
Fireman saves cat in tree.
He never even got stung by a bee.

What about this?
You really can't miss.
A kid holding a hand to cross the street.
Such a story can't be beat.

Santa is out hearing wishes.
I just did the dishes.
Isn't it fun to be merry?
No need to showcase the scary.

Isn't this nice?
No wacky dice.
Just a nice and wholesome time.
It can even rhyme.

You want more?
I've got some in store.
Just keep reading.
More are seeding.

Like a stranger's kiss.
It brought on bliss.
The dog thought so anyway.
It humped the old and grey.

Forget condoms and lube.
You won't see this on the tube.
Super glue makes them get stuck.
That is one long umm game of pass the buck?

Oh, dam, I kida lied.
Wine i maay haav spied.
Whoo neds holsome anyway.
The reedneck isss hereeee too stay.

Not even a What Off lasted long with her. I guess the wacky makes her purr. You can't go giving the wholesome crap or she may go take a nap. Or just get drunk more. Who knows what she has hidden in each drawer. Plus it would be boring with no wacky sass. But now you know thanks to the What Off from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

62 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It is 5 mins slow
      But still 3 in a row

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Got on in
      5 mins later for the win

      Delete
  2. Great verse Pat, brought a smile to the UK.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Redneck Way Gone Astray!
    And not the right way to play
    While Santa was here
    Welcoming the New Year
    They came to cause a disarray

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A weird Santa gift
      Run away some swift

      Delete
  4. I bet her superpower is she can make wine disappear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Berries on the bush make wine
    Often it does turn out fine
    I have some brewing in a crock
    I hope it tastes better than Blue's old sock

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as not mushed with dirty feet
      Blah to that ever being sweet

      Delete
  6. Why be stuck in the wholesome crowd
    When a redneck can shout it out loud?
    Gotta find some entertainment in this life
    Otherwise boredom will cut ya like a knife.
    So to the weirdos I raise a glass of cheer.
    And to you Pat 'cause you such a dear.
    I won't even pop any zits.
    'Cause you think thems the pits.
    But I'm gonna raise some hell with my Disco ball.
    And keep doin' crazy shit over at my hall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a literal knife I hope not
      That would be a crazy plot
      Could go to the slammer
      There there's no glamor
      The wine won't flow
      They may have laundry to do though
      Crazy shit works
      Has far more perks

      Delete
  7. I've heard of Christmas in July,
    but August, I won't lie,
    is new to me.
    How can that be?
    Bet you wrote this months ago
    and gathered lines to give a quote.
    Redneck could cause a red face
    some would think it's a disgrace. haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. August is closer after all
      So may as well have a ball
      New from the cat
      How about that
      When your 365 posts ahead
      Things have long ago been said lol

      Delete
  8. I would be sad if
    The wibe was all gone
    Not a good day here
    It would be all wrong

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wine is needed
      For fun in many places to be seeded

      Delete
  9. Beer and wine cost so much money
    too much of it and spending's funny
    (and I guess that could go either way, lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol can sure suck away the dough
      The more down the beer hole you go

      Delete
  10. No, I haven't wondered what a redneck's blog would be like. Thank you for sharing with us anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you know
      With the cat's redneck show

      Delete
  11. Which is worse? A redneck or a hillbilly?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hillbilly is far worse
      They can be more perverse

      Delete
  12. Wine in a red solo cup
    That counts as sup
    Gnaw on a biscuit with gravy
    Y'all are darn savvy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like you know
      A regular wino lol

      Delete
    2. Sadly TX overflows with rednecks. I am still a damn Yankee thank goodness

      Delete
    3. haha a Yankee staying
      Who needs a weird redneck displaying

      Delete
  13. I don'y see YOU as a redneck.
    However I've no regret.
    Reading about your antics.
    Doesn't make me panic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'd run
      OCD wouldn't find it fun

      Delete
  14. "cute little turd" Hahaha!

    Everyone's comments made me crack up, too. I'm not nearly as clever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just popped in
      Many sure gave fun comments a spin

      Delete
  15. I've known a few rednecks
    they can be fun, what the heck
    I'll drink a bit of wine

    ReplyDelete
  16. Condoms, lube and superglue all in one paragraph. Doesn't sound fun at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao nope, not one bit
      Get stuck with it

      Delete
  17. We know all about rednecks down this way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On them you can spy
      Are they very spry?

      Delete
  18. Redneck
    got wreck
    Well heck
    Laughs trek

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laughs away
      On display
      Any day
      What the hey

      Delete
  19. LOL, I agree, that was funny. Hope you have more wine in the cellar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She probably does
      Enough for a mighty fine buzz

      Delete
  20. Actually I think beer is the beverage of choice:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you could share the wine with us:)

      Delete
  21. Folks get necks of red here
    When drinking too much beer
    And in the sun too long seer...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A drunk in the sun
      Sounds like umm fun

      Delete
  22. I'm still recovering from much wine on a Nova Scotian deck.
    Hope that doesn't make me a unholesome redneck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha probably not
      Have to add to the redneck plot

      Delete
    2. Yay, yay! Oh happy day!
      I'm caught up at your bay!
      Have a good one
      under your sun!

      Delete
    3. Caught up is grand
      In my land

      Delete
  23. The redneck does sure know how to party. Though I don't know about the glue and condoms. Sounds like a very sticky situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sticky it would be
      Crazy people at ones sea

      Delete
  24. Do rednecks drink wine from a dirty glass?
    or is bathtub gin their wine of class?

    ReplyDelete
  25. If the fireman joined me
    On the lawn
    I'd serve him wine
    And over him I'd fawn

    ReplyDelete