I was minding my own business at a book convention when what I thought was a crazed fan, like I have any of those, came up to me. I should have known better than to play along, especially when the voices in my head were screaming for me to run. Before I could do so I was taken away by my crazed fan, who really wasn't a fan, and whisked off to Earth's brain. Yes, Earth has a brain and a body.
There I not only learned that some version of my soul was destined to save Earth's brain, but that reincarnation was real. Dino Me, Slug Me, Half Breed Me and many more proved that. Madison, my not so crazed fan, had a collection of mes. If that sounds strange, you better buckle up.
Throughout the course of this escapade I had to deal with cannibal pirates, porno ninjas, killer geriatric robots, a newborn baby that swears like a sailor, aliens, more robots, Hippers, Diggers, Unknown and so much more. Add to that some evil dude wants to melt me down in some magic voodoo pot and you have what could be my final written work ever. Or is it?
So tell your friends as I may not make it out alive. Or I may and I could still use the money. And in case you are wondering, yes, the tale depicted in this book is a true story. Events are told how they occurred. Unless I die before the end of this, then you may have to make up the rest for yourself.
So there you are. Ready to learn about Earth's brain and Earth's body at your sand bar? Who knew there were two? Half Breed Pat is very weird too. He has an ass shaped head. That must cause him dread. Slug Pat, Dino Pat and Bear in a Tutu Pat are just as strange. That doesn't sound like it will change. This very weird meta type novel has come to pass. It even makes a reference or two to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.