Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Need To Read?

The cat has seen another trend that is about. People need to hear others shout. Or at least read it before they ever do the shit. Not sure what I mean with my spree? You'll see!

I can't save dough.
Oh friggin no.
It is such a shame.
I need someone with fame.

101 ways to save.
100 ways to avoid a financial grave.
50 ways to save more.
101 ways to save the encore.

Wowwee, now I know.
I can save some dough.
I just can't spend.
On these gurus I sure depend.

My house is a mess.
That I will confess.
But how do I get it clean?
Isn't there advice that is so serene?

De-clutter now!
101 cleaning tips the will wow.
Tricks to a clean home.
Cleaning when in Rome.

Wowweee, now I know.
I just have to clean my show.
Clean and throw stuff away.
Now I can have a nice day.

I can't get a date.
Where is my mate?
I really need one.
How can this be done?

101 dating tips!
Dating on cruise ships.
101 more dating tips.
Dating words for your lips.

Woweee, now I know.
I just have to give it a go.
Who knew all you had to do was speak?
A mate I can now seek.

One for that and this.
Read and don't miss.
101 ways to help with anything at all.
Read away and have a ball.

Who knew I needed to read 50,000 words so that I can de-clutter? Maybe my brain had a stutter? Who knew I needed to read 50,000 more to talk to a date? Damn, I hope that advice doesn't come too late. Hmmm didn't I already know all of this? Do you need someone to tell you such bliss? Wowwweeee, if yes was answered by thee. Maybe I should make one come to be. 101 ways to get rid of that gas. It could be a huge hit for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Burn A Bridge Just A Smidge?

The cat hears it time and time again. I seem to hear a lot at my den. Maybe I just notice it. Can you notice and hear at the same time each fit? Maybe not if some spit when they talk. That can sure make you balk.

Don't burn bridges.
They may ignite ridges.
Bridges may fall down.
Like the one in London town.

Isn't that a city?
It burnt down, pity.
Wait, it's still there?
I've been lied to at my lair.

Can bridges even burn?
Maybe ones from which they don't earn.
They being the greedy sobs.
They do whatever they please.

Like covered ones made of wood.
I think that is understood.
But metal ones burn?
Wow, some heat you must churn.

Then again a rope is cheaper.
You could be a Tarzan creeper.
Dress in a loin cloth and swing.
A rope will get you across the thing.

Or just hop a boat.
One with or without a goat.
Get a motor so you don't have to row.
But then if the later your muscles may grow.

Or learn how to swim.
The sea/river/whatever may be grim,
But you'll get there with no time to spare.
You also may shrink down there.

Hey, it had to be said.
I know it popped into your head.
Just blame the pool.
That seems to be cool.

Could learn to fly.
Like in a plane in the sky.
Seems wasteful to do though.
Plus you'd need lots of dough.

Do bridges burn?
That had to return.
Maybe those imaginary ones,
They can burn by the tons.

All from a burning bridge. I guess they can burn a smidge. But metal on fire? Yeah, the burning would expire. Burn any bridges at your sea? Did the fire bug-ness give you glee? Wait, fake bridges you say? Burn any of those at your bay? Can be all fire bug with that pass. Although that is probably safer for all and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 28, 2016

A Thousand Miles Adds To The Piles!

The cat has to promote a new non rhyming book. That is so mean of Pat to do at my nook. But then he did write 75K words in 11 days with one hand. Yeah, bragging a bit in our land. This was probably one of the funniest he has ever done too as a new novel came due.

Will and Ray Stinger are two brothers that have not seen each other in over a decade. Will lives a simple life with his family and wants nothing to do with his self absorbed, reality TV star brother. But the two are brought together by the passing of their Uncle Frank who left them what could be the best gift of all, an ugly shoe pendant.

When the pendant breaks Will and Ray each take half and go their separate ways, suspecting to never see each other again. The next day all of that changes as they wake up in each other's body. Through the pendant they quickly experience life from the other's point of view. Not wanting to waste any time, they search for answers and soon learn that the only way to reverse it is to walk a thousand miles.

Will, Ray, Will's two young kids, Sarah and Oliver, and their dog, Sammy, set off across America to reverse what they believe to be a curse. And through one giant mishap, they now must do it while avoiding law enforcement, crazy Ray Stinger fans, gun toting hillbillies, Ruth and her master race and the many other colorful characters they meet along the way.

Sound interesting to you? A mix and match of two. Body swapping and a buddy road trip. Don't think anywhere that sail did ship. But who knows indeed. This idea popped in and sure wanted to take seed. So away Pat went with it. And it is more adult as one character is a douchebag and swears a bit. But that may end up less as the story does progress. I guess you will have to see what comes to pass as another non rhyming novel comes from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Placebo Along With This Song!

The cat is here to get you to agree. I know you always do with me. Pffft and I'm really a dog. Wait, I used that one at my blog. Bah, I'll use it a time or two more. Ready to agree galore?

That pill is neat.
It is so sweet.
It can cure everything.
It can even make you sing.

Took it like a fool.
It may make you drool.
But look, you are happy.
That pill may really have been snappy.

This TV show is the best.
It just beats all the rest.
How about it?
You must watch every bit.

Oh, it was crap?
Whoops, I took a nap.
But you watched and loved it.
Damn, I'm good at this shit.

That car is great.
Screw the interest rate.
It is top notch.
Buy yourself some scotch.

What? It broke down?
Don't look at me and frown.
You still think it is the best.
Was a fluke so no detest.

Oh yeah, suck back the dope.
It can even give you hope.
With each and every joint,
A new idea you will appoint.

It will cure you too.
Of everything at your zoo.
Wait! Didn't the pill do that?
Double whammy where you're at.

Whoops, it did not?
You just got brain rot?
Bah, you don't believe that.
It melted off the fat.

Now you're in the know.
So give each a go.
Search high, search low.
Gotta love a little placebo.

Are you a placebo case? Believe all with a smiley face? That may be bad for you. A sugar pill won't cure all at your zoo. And a bad car is a bad car. Who cares if some celebrity drives it far. Don't be a placebo nut or you'll just get stuck in a rut. But if you really want fortune, fame, health and love don't wish for it from above. You just have to go eat some nice green grass. Yep, you can trust, not really, my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

An Average Day Here To Stay!

What is your average at your sea? Do you have an average spree? On average everyone had an average at some point. That is average at every joint.

On average at play.
Said every day.
It's here to stay.
But it can go away.

Fall in a hole.
An average goal.
Let it take a stroll.
Bury it like a mole.

On average I'm nuts.
On average I ignore mutts.
On average I increased that.
On average things can go splat.

Get where I'm going?
On average you get my showing.
Then again I may confuse.
On average that does amuse.

On average sales were up.
They filled a tin cup.
But on average they lie,
As the on average does fly.

Store A and B and T made more,
While Store R,G,Y,U,L,O had a losing encore.
But just fudge the numbers a bit,
And on average we're a hit.

On average they are great.
To them no one can relate.
Their average is top notch.
They deserve a bottle of scotch.

Wait! Get the cheap stuff.
On average they are all fluff.
High scores in bird courses and gym.
Off average they may be dim.

Maybe off average is it?
Whoops, can fudge that shit.
On average and off,
All drink from the same trough.

On average that's how it's done.
Isn't on average fun?
The average way at play.
Aren't you glad on average is here to stay?

Maybe above average should come due? That would just screw everything up at each zoo. Above average vs. on average and maybe even off. Damn, now your brain is going to scoff. Don't worry, not much math to come due. You can fudge the numbers to make what you want true. Then just let on, off, above or even below average come to pass. That is a lot of averages even for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 25, 2016

A Month Out To The Cheery Shout!

The cheer is here, right? Hmm let's see about that at my site. I don't see it. That cheer is quite the hiding twit. Maybe it is under the bed? I guess I'll have to go and see if like me it is hiding its head.

With one month to go,
People scatter near and far.
They go blow for blow,
Over some fancy toy car.

Giving cheer and seasons greetings.
Yeah, and all that other crap.
Got to get to those year end meetings.
Have to bilk each silly shopping sap.

With one month to go,
You have to find a lap.
That lap gives a ho ho ho,
Sucking you into its trap.

After standing for a while,
You finally get a meet and greet.
Rushed out in single file,
Wasn't that lap oh so neat?

With one month to go,
The lists have to be made.
Time to give another blow,
And go on some type of tirade.

That offends me in every way.
That should never be said.
Look at that puny light display.
What was going through their head?

With one month to go,
Family is ready to come a calling.
You may need to get the back hoe,
Cousin Eddie is rather appalling.

But they gather around,
Many there for a free lunch.
Some you aren't sure where they are found,
Others you may want to punch. 

With one month to go,
Cheer seemed to have been hidden.
Maybe after going blow for blow,
It went somewhere where blows are forbidden.

Can't be Bill Clinton's bedroom.
So that is one place down.
What? Can't be all gloom.
I know that didn't cause a frown.

Maybe cheer is off in Bora Bora? There it can whora whora. At least according to Blue. Not sure I believe that to be true. Silly shopping sap is fun to say. Can you say it three times fast at your bay? Got the cheer at your sea? Are you a stomping shopper with glee? Online is easier and more cheery, although sometimes what they send you can be eerie. We'll have to go and give cheer some sass. It can't go to Bora Bora or hide under the bed with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.  

Thursday, November 24, 2016

A Thankful Day So We'll Play!

Our thankful day is through, been there done that at my zoo. I'm thankful for it too. Then we don't have to go anywhere with mutts in view. But I'll play with the American thankful day.

I'm thankful for nuts,
Even some mutts.
They may sniff butts,
But they give me rhyme ruts.

I'm thankful for search engine crazies.
They may be better off pushing up daises,
But plenty of material is had.
As they find my rhyming pad.

I'm thankful for haters,
Watching as they trip into craters.
There they sit all hateful and such,
Not bothering me even a touch.

I'm thankful for Wal-Mart.
Cracks may show that come with a fart,
But material there is grand.
Like the reverse of Disney Land.

I'm thankful for the scary daters.
They are some weird maters.
But their lines turn out grand,
To use here in my land.

I'm thankful for the Internet.
It does let me be a rhyming pet,
But it also can tell me everything I want to know.
Like how aliens ate poor Elvis after a show.

I'm thankful for snow.
I may want it to go,
But I have something to whine about.
Look! It's snowing out.

I'm thankful for the dumb.
They are such a cheery chum.
They can do so much as one,
That out of material I'll never run.

I'm thankful for the sheep.
They never try and leap.
They just watch as I learn.
Never needing nothing in return.

I'm really thankful for all of the above,
Though I give them no love.
They prove a cat is far more wise.
Boy, how when being thankful time flies.

Isn't that all something to be thankful for? Did I do it right at my shore? You humans provide so much material to me that I have to be thankful to thee. At least I can pretend to be. Then leave a flea on your knee. I think my thankfulness is about to pass. Yep, I'm back to being a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Best Back With Some Flack!

The cat heard this again the other day, so we'll take it another way. The best idea ever it was indeed, but whoops, they forgot at their feed.

Have ideas done.
Done by the ton.
Or done by the little.
Oops, brain is brittle?

In one ear, out the other?
I've done that to my mother.
Shhhh, don't tell.
Maybe some need a bell?

It gives a ding.
Save the idea to cha-ching.
Or like an STD from a fling.
Hey, it's saved on something.

But I guess not.
Can't remember the plot.
Out the window it went.
And then they get bent.

It was forgotten by me.
Blah blah blah, pitiful me spree.
You've heard the rest.
In the end it was the BEST!

Err ummm not.
Sorry, screwed by brain rot.
Not the best if never done.
Easy to say when you never won.

I won 1st in every Olympic event.
At least I would have if I left the beer tent.
See? I can do it as well at my lair.
Damn, my logic just screwed you there.

What you have may not be grand,
But it is still the best at your land.
At least for the moment from you,
Until something more comes due.

Subjective is best.
We've done that test.
But still if one tops the rest,
Then it is your best.

Not that best thought,
That you let out to rot.
Hey, I want to do it once more.
I'd win the lottery if I played at my shore.

I could go on all day with such examples at play. Heard this one before? I'm sure you have at your shore. Maybe even said it a time or two. But it is only the best if it is actually the best and comes due. Otherwise the same thing as gas. It fades eventually when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Round Fifty Two Brings Us Back To You!

The search engine nuts still come and go. Not as many as in the past at my show. But being far ahead I can save some up indeed. These saves are more of you that took seed.

Redneck willies

I think she goes for pimples at her sea, but she may like a willy spree.

Betsy Boo Boo Booping

I'd say a numb tongue is a boo boo. At least only once it came due due.

Blue guy poo

Famous for shit. Now that's a hit.

Blue with carrots

Need to improve eye sight? Blue wants to see in the night.

Jax vs Liu Kang

Liu Kang wins. Jax is all sins.

Betty on my rump

Don't be so hard on them, Betty. No need to get petty.

Al gets laid

I'm sure he is happy with that there where he is at.

Marg's animal feed

Wow, Marg has her own feed line? That wasn't known by this feline.

Alex with ninja prada 

Hmmmm, ninja wannabe getting frisky? That may take a lot of whiskey.

Adam said he knew

Knew what? That you don't make the cut?

Worms in my bottom

Manzi, that may be for you. Could be for Terry too.

Bijox the savoir 

Spelled it wrong. But hey, maybe she'll get her own song.

Suza bit me

Suza, you are mean. Biting is so unclean.

Hank's #1 in pages

Page of what? He sure got many at my hut.

And now for the winner. They may be considered a sinner. That or are just way out to lunch. That they are a whole bunch. Probably be considered both though considering what's about to show. Do you see a pattern to my slant? Consider it like a worker ant.

between margaret, mary, fern and greg for bait

Hmmm which Mary is going to be bait? What is the bait for at their open gate? Do we really want to know? Could be quite the show. Maybe Greg will come and tell us all. I hope not at my hall. This has been another strange pass of those that find my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Don't Waste Space In Your Place!

The cat will show you how not to waste space today. No need to be a hoarder at your bay, but you can still save space. Or use it up at a steady pace.

 Give an evil glare,
Or maybe just a stare.
Even with space,
No one else will embrace.

 Make room for two.
A third can't come due.
 Three's a crowd, right?
Pat can sleep on the floor that night.

Stare at the space.
It is your embrace.
With that stare,
It is yours even if you aren't there.

Take the bottom and top.
That will make any space stealing stop. 
You can watch both ends.
Was that gutter? Depends.

Or just hog it all.
Easy as can be at your hall.
No room for any other.
If they try, proceed to smother.

See? Easy as can be.
I told thee.
Even if it is small.
A little overflow is all.

Cassie is a hog.
Two cushions like a spoiled dog.
Don't tell her I said that.
But then take up the extra space like the cat.

Bottom and top watch once more.
A little different though at our shore.
Here we get a two for one.
Isn't space saving fun?

Climb up top.
Then it won't flop.
You'll have an eye on everything.
Any space stealing you can fling.

Or just hog the whole floor.
Good to have back up at your shore.
Have a paw stretched out too.
No one will steal space from you. 

Did you learn a thing or three? Aren't I nice at my sea? I showed you how to save space. Hmmm was that a different type of saving embrace? Hey, I need to save a place to sit when ever I want it. Can't have Pat stealing that shit. I already have to save some from hoggy Cass. She sure tries to push away my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Pull Back The Curtain On The Certain!

There are sure many who are certain here and there. Finding one who isn't may be more rare. But is certain a good thing? I guess we'll see as this rhyme does spring.

Certain you are.
Certain as a car.
Can a car be certain?
Bah, ask Tim Burton.

You have no need.
No need to take heed.
You are certain of it.
Screw that other shit.

Certain in life.
Certain of strife.
Certain of happy.
I'm certain you're yappy.

Certainly I can't be wrong.
Sing the certain yappy song.
Music to my ears.
I was right, my dears.

Certain one may cringe.
My dears may create a twinge.
But there is no poppycock.
All's tickety boo as we walk the walk.

I'm certain of it.
Every little bit.
Nothing else is here.
Certain means no fear.

Have to stay steadfast.
I'm certain it will last.
Certain you are too.
Certain you should agree with my view.

A certain thing can't occur.
Don't let your eyes blur.
Keep certain in sight.
Then all will be alright.

Alright until it's not.
Screwed your certain plot.
Whoops, still certain are we?
Certain as a cat stuck in a tree?

Certain you got screwed,
With your for certain attitude.
For you did not even look,
As uncertainty swooped in like a crook.

Still certain of all there at your hall? Can be as certain as can be but doesn't make it certain at any sea. Does that make sense? Are you on the fence? That means certain took off. Certain may now scoff. At least you can have one certain thing come to pass. You can be certain I am a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

A Secret Leap Of Sleep!

Doesn't it seem like everyone has a trick for everything? Like some one size fits all works as they give it a ring? Pffft one size fits all works for nothing at all. But that we've done at my hall.

I can't sleep.
Poor pitiful me.
Can't go light or deep.
It just can't come to be.

Go get a new bed.
That will sure work.
You will sleep like the dead.
Ask the sales clerk.

Get a cool pillow.
It can be soft and thick.
Ummm how about Willow?
Was that movie slick?

Don't watch TV before bed.
Yeah, that is just wrong.
Hey, it's been said.
So I'll play along.

Work out that day.
Do it really hard.
Sorry, need more play.
Can't just mow the yard.

Go all humper.
The Blue guy loves those.
Be a wall thumper.
Curl those toes.

Or better yet,
Take a pill.
Yeah, that's a safe bet.
Make sure you've done your will.

Make sure it is dark.
No light allowed.
Ignore that dog bark.
Remember, three's a crowd.

Don't eat 3 hours before.
Go on a diet too.
Both work at your shore.
You'll be a better you.

Turn off every electronic thing.
Can save power as well.
Throw in a spring fling,
And you may beat this no sleep hell.

Have you heard them all? Any I missed at my hall? Probably quite a few as many old wives tales can come due. No one size fits all for anyone or anything on any wall. Unless everyone wants to go drink acid at their sea. Then 100% of them will go on a croaking spree. But that we know. Glad I can sleep anywhere at my show. Oh the life of a cat. Sleeping is where it's at. I can even pass some gas when I'm a sleeping little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 18, 2016

A Title Or Two Back From You!

Today I'll make you use your brain once more as we delve into the past at many a shore. Do you recall each one? Isn't the cat making you use your brain fun?

Recipe - Potato and Chicken Bake.
Hmm, chicken is all I make.
procreate for brilliance 
The dumb seem to have the resilience.

Paris Adventures | The Last Day
What? You couldn't stay?
Thankful Thursday
Sorry, Friday on display.

End of the Thread
Did those fates cut it leaving you dead?
Fence Line
On or off mine?

Wow, that sounds like it came from a mushroomer. 
When Zombies Attack
Don't hide in a crappy shack.

Allows many to be dumb.
Thankful Thursday: I See More Sunpuddles Today
Are they there today at your bay?

Pine Sisken
That the same as Snake Plissken 
List: Ten cheapskate date ideas for you and your toddler.
Some may not work if you are a waddler.

Dress to Impress
It may make a mess.
C - Criminals + 4 Teasers
Are they crowd pleasers?

Can do you in.
Altered Digest
Results in a to the loo quest?

Good Straws
Obey the laws?
Does Your Money Have Wings the Size of Texas?
Mine goes into a bottomless nexus.

Grateful For All Of You
Blah, all mushy at your zoo.
The A to Z Challenge List Opens! Plus David Powers King and Zombies, RiffTrax, Baroness-Purple Review, New Book Releases, and Ninja News
Did your eyes gloss over as that long title you did peruse?

Did you get each one this time? Some really have a long long long chime. I guess they have a lot to say and want to get some words out of the way. This was only about ten months ago. Hey, at least you can tell which day many posts did show. If you didn't figure that out with this pass, well then, you can't really be helped by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

It's Now A Fable With The Cable!

The cat got caught going out the other day as the cable company came around to each apt. bay. Yeah, I usually don't go to the door. Even if they hear me at my shore.

Who are you with, Sir?
Sir? Damn, I'm old.
Maybe it's my grey fur.
Or I just look bold.

Not with you.
I'm with the other guy.
You have no clue,
So away you can fly.

But I'll knock $50 off.
That has to be great.
For 3 months you won't scoff,
And get a great rate.

Yeah, then comes the hassle.
Then comes the strife.
Go back to your company castle,
If I wanted aggravation I'd get a wife.

Could get a great cable package as well.
All in one bundle for you.
All those channels sure are swell.
You'll stick to the TV like glue.

Pffft cable is a rip off in every way.
I'll take Netflix at my sea.
Bury cable in the litter tray.
Stick your bundled fee.

But you could try,
See if you're wrong.
I don't tell a lie.
Plus $50 off won't last long.

Got that right.
$50 will go to plus $100 overnight.
3 months later it'll be a plight.
Bill to a new height.

It won't go up much.
That isn't our way.
And you can keep in touch.
Listen to what we say.

Stick you bundle crap.
Stick your cable shit.
Go bother some sap,
Who actually believes it.

And there were my words for cable bundle selling nuts. Can go and sniff mutt butts. Still have cable at your sea? One big rip off to me. 80% of the crap you'll never watch or want to watch. Better off spending money on scotch. Hmm, that too may be a bad pass. So don't get drunk on cable near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

For Your Pleasure Here's Some Treasure!

The cat has a treasure trove of things to give away today. You can have them and get some pay. You just have to be as creative as can be. With what? You'll see!

I've got bottle caps galore.
I have so many at my shore.
Here they are for you.
Some are gold but most are blue.

You can make Blue a shoe.
A bottle cap shoe, who knew?
Or make a bottle cap fish.
Did I just grant your wish?

Got a few spare boots.
That will get you loads of loots.
Should it just be loot?
Hey, there is more than one boot.

Boots to plant holders.
Beats boot folders.
You can grow in a boot.
Use it as home for a newt.

Got plenty of TP.
I'll share some with thee.
Wait! It's just the empty roll.
Hey, could impress a troll.

Take them and make art.
Don't have to be smart.
Can make a body part.
Now that is true TP roll art.

Don't walk too fast.
May end up in a cast.
Or just with sore feet.
Either way, not neat.

Walking on egg shells now?
Good, I've got so many they will wow.
You can make art from the shells.
Could even make giant bells.

This may leave you bitter.
But no need to scoop the litter.
You can make litter art galore.
The tabbies do it at their trout town shore.

I could go on forever,
But this last one is quite the endeavor.
Make used condom wall art.
Doesn't that just scream from the heart?

Sadly all of this is true. Hey, I'm not judging at my zoo. If you want to make art out of this and that, go for it says the cat. Just expect me to curl my nose if the last one shows. Ever make art out of trash? You may get a bad rash. Especially if that last one comes to pass. Pat is too OCD to show litter art from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

A Screwy Change With The Same Range!

Did you see what the cat did there? You soon will at my lair. Change and the same. Wow, today I lit the flame. You sure got that fast. Slowly catching on to my cast. Fast and slow? Wowee, two in a row.

Today we see,
Or tomorrow for thee.
Or maybe yesterday.
Beats me anyway.

Today we missed.
Damn, yesterday got pissed.
Maybe tomorrow will be nice.
Then again it could bring lice.

That advice is grand.
What advice at hand?
Can't you read between the lines?
Don't go cursing felines.

The answer is on sale.
It's 50% off by the pail.
It is off and on.
Damn, is that a con?

I'm hot while cold,
And you are sold.
Sold on it.
Isn't this confusing shit?

I went over Oxy.
It may no longer be foxy.
Who needs that random order?
Ship that across the walking dead border.

Can't walk when dead,
Unless zombie type dread.
But can be hot and cold.
Hot on a task while freezing temps take hold.

The cat beat Oxy today.
It's right here on display.
I think I'll dub the conundrum too.
Orlismart has now come due.

Get my Orlismart?
Can have a sale at Wal-Mart.
It can be 50% off as well.
Oxy and its act naturally damned me to Hell.

Oxymoron may be after me.
I'm messing with its chi.
Whelmed it may never be.
Bet its saying a big fluck me.

Ready to spread the word of the Orlismart? You don't need a snip snipped body part. Did you know you can be off and on at the same time? To some that may be a crime. I never knew Oxymoron was so crass. I guess it didn't like the Orlismart of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Take A Pass And Get Blessed In Mass!

The cat has one thing for you to do today. You must pass this post on to all at your bay. Don't just sit and stare. There is a time limit, so beware. You may miss out if you don't. Get blessed you won't.

Send it to all.
Heed the call.
This is great news.
It sure can't lose.

The cat can rhyme.
Woweee, news at prime time.
No one knew that.
Except for the cat.

You didn't know?
Admit it at my show.
How could you though?
I kept it on the down low.

Now go and share.
You have minutes to spare.
15 minutes that is.
Share and in things will whiz.

You'll be blessed.
God will bless you no matter how you dress.
Yep, just from sharing.
It so shows you are caring.

But wait, there's more.
Share it by 12 minutes at your shore.
You will be blessed and get a wish.
Yep, in a wish will swish.

Anything at all you want.
No, I don't sit and taunt.
But what, there is still more.
Let's make it a triple encore.

If you send it within 8 minutes at your sea,
You will get a worldwide travel spree.
Did I mention there is more?
Yeah, this won't be a travel chore.

Your tour will be on a UFO.
Now you really have to go.
All around the planet.
You don't even have to man it.

So share it now.
Your friends will wow.
You'll get blessed, a wish and a world jaunt.
Warning, those alien probes may haunt.

Did you believe me? Did you share with glee? Pfffft the cat hopes not. Don't you love those emails with their ridiculous share plot? Like God gives a shit whether you share. But hey, if you believe it I got a bridge to sell you around here somewhere. Are you a sender to your friend mass? If you want I won't stop you from sharing my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Many A Season For A Reason?

The cat is into season 6 now. That is plenty of rhymes to meow. Or would that be type? I guess we can go with either for hype. Hype from that? Yeah, roll your eyes at the cat.

On a roll,
Out for a stroll.
Time ticks away.
Seasons at play.

Did hey diddle diddle,
Seasons in the middle.
Remember that?
Not a repeat cat.

That's not poppycock.
Nonsense isn't a shock.
That is here every season.
There is rhyme with no reason.

But seasons change.
That's not strange?
I heard you say it.
Could be a strange bit.

Seasons can go by 1.
Maybe 10 can be done.
They can go on and on.
20 seasons may even dawn.

Seasons can be televised.
They can be prized.
A prized fight of the season.
No rhyme but there's reason.

Seasons have a field and court.
Can even give a report.
Seasons have sport.
Care to give that a retort?

Seasons may start dropping.
Some seasons may be flopping.
If down goes the shopping,
Such a season may end up stopping.

A season for mating?
Who needs the dating?
Just have a fling.
That season can spring.

A new season today.
New season at play.
A new season for something new?
Whoops, same old season came due.

Seasons really are more than just seasons. Maybe seasons have reasons? Does that make sense? Are you on the fence? My poppcock has no season. It can always commit treason. There is a season for more than weather. Are you going to enjoy the seasons together? Which season is your favorite in mass? Weather, sports, TV and shopping all come to pass. Some may cause gas. There is no season for when that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

The Lore Of The High Score!

The cat got the high score. Yep, high score for blog posts ahead at my shore. Up to 370 or so as of now. Tomorrow I may beat that and wow. What does that say? Hmm, maybe too much time at my bay.

Look at me.
A high score to see.
I'm the Farmville champ.
Take that you low score tramp.

I got achievements galore.
I don't know how to use a door,
But my achievement count is really high.
That may not make me very spry.

Although I'm the winner.
You are a sinner.
You didn't get them all.
Just look at my achievement wall.

I'm the champ of Angry Birds.
That is so great beyond words.
Whoops, I got beat last night.
Time to up the fight.

Look at my Tetris win.
I did all others in.
Do people even play that any more?
Beats me at my shore.

I've scored a ton.
Yep, in the way many find fun.
I've got the diseases to prove it.
Also I have more offspring than a bit.

Hmm, maybe Tetris should come back in style,
After that one was added to the pile.
Or condoms should be cheaper,
For such a scoring creeper.

I've got the fattest cat.
Wowweee, look at that.
I've got the most rats.
50,000 to scare away dingbats.

That's a lot of rat poop.
Must own one big coop.
I'm going for the record you see.
Guinness is going to love me.

Wait! I need to get that extra one.
It may takes 10 hours to get done,
But I need that achievement now,
Then the world I can truly wow.

Aren't you impressed today? There are so many achievements on display. They could "win a fight against the PC player." How can that make you a nay sayer? And the Farmville champ? Better than a genie in a magic lamp. Hmmm, maybe the cat doesn't appreciate such class. I'll blame being a snip snipped little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 11, 2016

A Little Label Caught In A Fable!

Did you know labels are caught? It sure seems like one dirty plot. A plot that is all around yet is never found. Or would that be seen? I guess we shall see what I mean.

A label for this,
A label for that.
Some cause bliss,
Others fall flat.

Some sure lie.
Others pretend.
Some gets a why,
Some may offend.

Like Gluten Free.
It can be a lie.
Below a certain percentage spree,
And they can lie from upon high.

Labels on clothes,
To know they will fit.
Labels on backhoes,
So you don't mess with that shit.

Labels on food,
They can omit and lie.
I know that is rude,
But told you that on the fly.

Labels for you.
Labels for me.
Those come due,
And can screw thee.

Labels for age.
Labels for race.
Can't turn the page,
They are stuck in place.

Can't change it.
Nope, no way.
Society says so.
Like political idiots on display.

Need that label.
Need to hate the other.
Some consideration is a fable.
Hate even if your brother.

Love the label?
Have one on the table?
Notice how they seem stable?
Letting them change is a fable.

Labels seem to come every which way. You humans sure like them at your bay. Do you label all upon view? Labels sure aren't new. I do have a good label to come to pass. I labeled myself a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Don't Get Bent As We Invent!

The cat is going to help all humans today. Yeah, let's bring change to every bay. The cat will give you the way to invent great things. No longer will such ideas hide away in the Area 51 wings.

Teleportation is tops.
Can get away from the cops.
Can go anywhere at any time.
It can even be done by a mime.

Think of a place you want to go.
Think really hard at your show.
Then poof! You just went there.
You are in another's body and not aware.

What? It's the truth.
I saw it at the Area 51 booth.
They had it on display.
Teleportation is here to stay.

Flying cars I've got down.
You can get all over town.
There are big elevators here and there,
Find one that is near your lair.

Now take your car up to the top,
Hit the gas and don't stop.
Woweee, you flew for a few seconds anyway.
Then you smudged on the ground like clay.

But for a second you flew.
It is oh so true.
I helped you once more.
Watch out for flying cars galore.

Unlimited power is near.
You don't even need gear.
It's as simple as can be.
You just have to be like me.

Eat some gassy food.
No one will find you rude.
Then hook it up to some mass,
Letting the gas flow from your ass.

Presto is the word.
Just don't pass a turd.
Cheap energy is now had.
You can save lots of money at your pad.

And as an extra one,
I can give you sun.
Just expose where it don't shine,
And forever the shine will align.

So get out there and follow my tips. Let the gas flow from those hips. Sun them too and a shine will always come due. Did you know such inventions were at hand? Isn't the cat grand? I should teach a science class. I'm sure they'd get smarter thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I'll Get To It....In A Bit!

The cat will get to this post some time soon. I guess it was got to at my sand dune. But when and where? Pffft beats me at my lair. That was long ago. Expect me to remember that at my show?

I'll get to it.
It's quite the hit.
The best around,
Sound so profound.

They say and go.
To where? I don't know.
But we'll get to that.
If not, don't blame the cat.

Maybe nod and agree.
Then off on a spree.
Shoved that aside.
Could hurt the pride.

In the end they ignore the that.
Now life is filled with scat.
Hey, literally if you didn't take out the trash.
You may get more than a bad rash.

Don't want to go there.
No "thats" to spare.
That is my right.
That says no hoarders in sight.

Oh, my arm hurts a bit.
It can take the hit.
I'll get to resting it.
Whoops, broke it where you sit.

I'll get to kids.
Now I'll play with squids.
20 years go by.
Whoops, not so spry.

I'll get to exercise.
That would be wise.
Whoops, heart attack came due.
All I did was strained my eyes to look at you.

I'll make a budget.
I won't fudge it.
Whoops, debt up the ass.
But I enjoyed living high class.

I'll take that trip.
I'll let it rip.
Instead I'm a fart.
Lazy and stinky at the nearest Wal-Mart.

That last one just popped in. Are you an I'll get to that at your bin? Some things it can work for but others you may find get missed out on at your shore. Everything could get missed out on if you drop dead. Or the "I'll get to that" could bring about your death bed. I guess a conundrum has come to pass. Don't expect it to be solved by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Sign And Date There Mate!

The cat has a task for you today. You better have your pen on display. Get ready to sign your name. If you can't, an X isn't so lame. Just make it big. Then you can go dance a jig.

An agreement is had.
It's pages are more than a tad.
But just sign in three places,
Then we'll all have smiley faces.

You'll get the pleasure of signing your name.
You know that may even bring fame.
I'll get the pleasure of owning it all,
With 55.67% interest at my hall.

Hey, you just signed.
Don't pay and you'll be fined.
You didn't see that claim?
Pffft no matter, you signed your name.

It was there to read.
You signed the deed.
Don't blame me.
It was there to see.

Read and see.
A yipppee for me.
You said no to it.
I can't help that shit.

Now pay up.
No hiccup.
You fill my cup.
I even own your pup.

You got a bargain.
You didn't worry about the jargon.
You just signed away.
Now I get all your pay.

Them are the terms,
Even if you catch worms.
I'll own those too.
But I'll let that slide at my zoo.

You'll never get away.
You signed to play.
Now you work to pay.
Damn, I'm good at my bay.

That was a flipperoo.
You screwed you.
You didn't read it.
There was no bamboozled shit.

Geez, now you work to pay a rhyming cat. You never should have signed that. Do you read the fine print or treat it like lint? Best to go with the former at your sea. You don't want to pay everything to me. But hey, I do need a new singing bass. So pay up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 7, 2016

A Heritage Hate Comes To Date!

The cat shakes his head at many humans every day. There is always something new at play. Or maybe today that would be old. I guess you can decide as this rhyme takes hold.

My heritage is great.
It is ever so grand.
From the farthest back date,
It is anything but bland.

Your heritage is bad.
Your ancestor did this and that.
That makes me so mad.
You are just a dirty rat.

Yep, I'm a great person.
My ancestors were top notch.
So nothing about me can worsen.
But you need a kick to the crotch.

You can't be a good person.
Not one single solitary bit.
All you can do is worsen.
Your ancestors were such shit.

Your country invaded mine.
That was just so wrong.
I am still going to whine,
And carry on the hateful song.

It may have been 200 years ago.
But it directly affects me.
It makes my hate grow.
That is all it takes you see.

Yeah, it was your fault too.
Your fault such a thing came due.
You were related to more than a few.
Every word I say is entirely true.

I'll revel in what came before.
It is my heritage after all.
I can't just shut the door.
I have to use it to stand tall.

Create a new heritage or way of life?
Pfffft who wants to do that?
I want to sit back and enjoy my strife.
Don't be some crazy dingbat.

Don't forget I hate you.
I hate all of your kind.
I'll turn you black and blue.
What was done 500 years ago is still on my mind. 

Pffffffft is all the cat can say. Hating someone for what their heritage is or what their ancestor did is moronic at one's bay. Unless they are actually as bad as what their ancestor was, but hating just because? I'd say get a grip with the stupid past trip, but most don't have the capacity to do so. Instead they just hang on to the past at their show. They say you shouldn't live in the past yet it is something many can't ever get past. Are you a hater from what one's ancestor made come to pass? Pffft once more says my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Get On Track With A Sound Attack!

Today the cat will give you a thrill and it will only cost you a $100 bill. I like American money more. It is worth more at our shore. That is just an fyi. Now on with what you'll want to buy.

Meow, meow, meow.
Doesn't that wow?
It is such a clever tune.
It will leave you over the moon.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.
I can be a twerp.
It may annoy.
But some may get joy.

Cling, clang, clunk.
Nope, not in a funk.
I just knocked stuff over.
I'm more annoying than rover.

Hiss, hiss, spit.
Don't you love that shit?
You may even get some saliva in the eye.
That will impress any girl or guy.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.
That was me having lunch.
It was very tasty.
Satisfying to even the pale and pasty.

Hiss, hiss, spit.
A repeat bit?
Nope, that was Cassie.
I pissed off the lassie.

Grrrrrrrrrrr, meow, grrrrrrr.
You ruffled my fur.
I hate the cage.
But this one may be all the rage.

You want a song too?
Don't worry, there are a few.
As a bonus we'll through in two.
That qualifies as a few.

It's Rhyme Time!
Singing is sublime.
Got the job done.
As around we run.

Hand up my ass.
It has no class.
Hey, it is a puppet.
Not a cheery Muppet.

So act now. Get the meow, meow, meow. It is the soundtrack of my life. It is filled with happiness and strife. It only costs $100 or so. There may be taxes you know. What was that? You won't buy from the cat? Movies make them all the time. So come and drop a dime. My tunes may be in 3D too. Yep, I can do that at my zoo. Tack on some extra crap to up the cost of the pass. Enjoy the soundtrack of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Trying To Prove You Are On The Move?

Did you know sitting on the couch could be so exhausting? Maybe it is that cake with extra frosting? Chowing that down can be a hard task. You know the cat just has to ask.

Sitting there.
You can stare.
You can swear.
Time to spare.

Couch or chair.
Bland or flair.
You sit and stare,
Without a care.

But it's rare.
A magic square.
Maybe cat hair.
Say a prayer.

On the chair.
In your lair.
Still on the chair.
There's a glare.

Dive into it.
A diving fit.
Dive into a new show.
Dive into a task's new glow.

Spring into action.
Won't leave you in traction.
Spring into it with the remote.
A new channel gets your vote.

Fly the hell out of there.
Damn, no feathers to spare.
You are kinda stuck.
So you pass the buck.

Fly the coop.
Time to poop.
Hey it rhymed.
You won't be timed.

Fly, spring, dive.
Got out alive.
Bah, it's only five.
Follow your drive.

More to spare.
Away you tear.
Going nowhere.
Paying no fare.

Who knew so much can be done with just sitting around. No wonder so much sitting is found. Do you do such things when you sit? Now that is some talented shit. Can dive and spring and fly and drive without leaving your seat. That is so neat. Blame the singing bass. He brought this up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 4, 2016

A Tech Kinda Day Here At Play!

So the cat was thinking the other day, yeah we know I do that at my bay, technology is supposed to save time, right? Hmm, I guess someone missed the memo that night.

Tech saves time.
It can stop crime.
It can do this and that.
Tech is where it's at.

Saving time is great.
Look, done at a fast rate.
So now you do more.
Don't you love busy work galore?

Oopsy, no time saved.
9-5 path still paved.
Stuck there the same hours.
Gotta love those time saving powers.

It can stop crime.
Yeah, and stun a mime.
Then the bad guys get it,
Whoops, can't stop the shit.

Create something to stop that.
Whoops, got it where they are at.
Create something to stop the that of the that.
Wowweeee, are you following the cat?

Tech makes one more in tune.
Hmmm and my face is on the moon.
That neck crap says otherwise.
Can't even wake up to see the flies.

Head down when walking.
TTFN and GTG said when talking.
Maybe even add a dash.
Yep, can sure be in tune with each newsflash.

Except for the car about to hit you.
Or maybe that pile of goo.
Or maybe that open man hole cover.
But oh, you still texted your flavor of the week lover.

Now keep saving time.
Keep on stopping crime.
You sure can do it.
Beat that 9-5 shit.

Wait, it's now 8-5.
Damn, will you get out alive?
All that time you saved is there.
You just lost an hour to spare.

Still think tech saves time? I suppose it does when used in its prime. Saves one from snail mail. But you still have other things that hit the trail. Anything can be used for bad too. But that you knew. So enjoy saving time in mass. I'll now go nap my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

I'll Pass The Buck With The I Suck!
Wowweee. Pat won at his other sea. And he didn't even rhyme. That is a crime. If you want to see the story he won for it is over at his, lame non-rhyming, blog shore. Just click here for a peer.

The cat is the best. Yep, the best at being a pest. That I can do with ease. It is such a breeze. I can also rhyme. I can kick a mime. I'm super at that. I'm one swell cat.

What can't I do?
Pffft nothing at my zoo.
I can do it all.
Read that writing on my wall.

I can't be clean?
Whatever do you mean?
So I flick a little litter.
No need to get bitter.

I can't draw?
Bah, it may have a flaw.
But my stick people are grand.
Some even get a hand.

I suck at dating?
Umm you know there is no mating?
I'm snip snip you see.
So who cares about being fancy free.

I can't leave TP be?
Hmph, that wasn't me.
You put your finger through it.
Never buy that cheap shit.

I suck at singing?
Don't you hear that ear ringing?
That was little old me.
Doesn't my tune send glee?

I suck at cooking?
Hey, weren't you looking?
There is nothing to cook.
I don't eat much at my nook.

I suck at being nice?
Pffft nice costs a high price.
I have to swat the cats at the other sea.
They deserve it and it gives me glee.

I suck at physics stuff?
Bah, I can't get enough.
E=MC2, right?
Did I win at my site?

Weren't you told?
Now all is above the fold.
I can't do nothing at all.
The cat is grand at everything at our hall.

Anything you suck at or are you more like the cat? You are good at everything. I'll blame Pat for the above at our wing. He made me channel him. He can be quite dim. Whoops, the litter thing and the TP may have been me. I'll never admit it at my sea. I am also a pro at passing gas. It is so easy to do for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

A Cold Not Sold!

The cold is here.
Give a cheer.
You'll be frozen.
Hey, you've chosen.

Chosen to freeze.
Ain't it a breeze?
Whoops, I said ain't.
Is Pat going to faint?

Will someone die?
Oh me, oh my.
This is so bad.
Ain't can't be had.

Contractions abound.
Contact a hound?
Then noses abound.
Up butts they are found.

Great visual there.
Right! Frozen lair.
Frozen you are.
Stuck on par.

Frozen from cold.
Bah, that's just old.
It could still be warm.
Or maybe a snow storm.

Unless you live south.
Then shut your mouth.
I didn't mean that.
Pffft right says the cat.

Frozen you are.
Stuck on par.
Whoops, I said that.
Such a repeat cat.

Frozen you are.
Like a morning car.
Didn't say that one.
Time for a warm up run.

Frozen no more.
Goodbye insecure shore.
You warmed on up,
And dropped the insecure hiccup.

Ever frozen in place with the same old insecure place? Maybe you just need that warm tingly feeling. Hmmm could be some gutter dealing. A car can be remote started, you know. I'll end this before I become a R rated show. Time to take a warm up pass. I sure don't want to be a cold little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

The Lines Blur With An If I Were!

What one could do when they don't rhyme on cue. Or rather just rhyme I suppose. If you try and make the cat do anything he will bite your toes. Or pull your armpit hair. Hey, I'm not above it at my lair.

If I weren't a writer,
Maybe I'd be a fighter.
Putting Cassie in her place,
As around the home I race.

If I weren't a rhymer,
Maybe I'd be Slimer.
Hey, I can play a ghost.
I'm just too busy making this post.

If I weren't a cat,
Maybe I'd be a rat.
Nah, I'd rather be a mutt.
Nah, neither make the cut.

If I were a dentist,
I may have had to apprenticed.
But at least I'd be rich.
Hmm nasty mouth would make me twitch.

If I were a vet,
I'd be a happy pet.
Nothing would go up my ass,
I'd never let thermometers trespass.

If I were an actor,
I'd probably own a tractor.
Run over all the crazies after me.
It would be slow so they'd live, you see.

If I were a politician,
I'd be on one big mission.
The mission to lie and swindle.
Until re-election then that love I'd rekindle.

If I were a mechanic,
I'd leave all in a panic.
Were those tires supposed to stay on?
Beats me, I'll fix it at dawn.

If I were a plumber,
I'd sure enjoy summer.
Then my ass crack wouldn't get cold,
As I bent under the sink ever so bold.

If I were...screw that.
I'll stick with rhyming cat.
A much better way to be.
I'll stick with just being me.

Ever think about the if you were? As there are sure many jobs that could make one purr. Also many many more that would still really bore. So much one can do it is no wonder so may want reincarnation to be true. Maybe someone even wants to be a singing bass? Hey, you will only be judged a little by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.