Tuesday, November 1, 2016

The Lines Blur With An If I Were!

What one could do when they don't rhyme on cue. Or rather just rhyme I suppose. If you try and make the cat do anything he will bite your toes. Or pull your armpit hair. Hey, I'm not above it at my lair.

If I weren't a writer,
Maybe I'd be a fighter.
Putting Cassie in her place,
As around the home I race.

If I weren't a rhymer,
Maybe I'd be Slimer.
Hey, I can play a ghost.
I'm just too busy making this post.

If I weren't a cat,
Maybe I'd be a rat.
Nah, I'd rather be a mutt.
Nah, neither make the cut.

If I were a dentist,
I may have had to apprenticed.
But at least I'd be rich.
Hmm nasty mouth would make me twitch.

If I were a vet,
I'd be a happy pet.
Nothing would go up my ass,
I'd never let thermometers trespass.

If I were an actor,
I'd probably own a tractor.
Run over all the crazies after me.
It would be slow so they'd live, you see.

If I were a politician,
I'd be on one big mission.
The mission to lie and swindle.
Until re-election then that love I'd rekindle.

If I were a mechanic,
I'd leave all in a panic.
Were those tires supposed to stay on?
Beats me, I'll fix it at dawn.

If I were a plumber,
I'd sure enjoy summer.
Then my ass crack wouldn't get cold,
As I bent under the sink ever so bold.

If I were...screw that.
I'll stick with rhyming cat.
A much better way to be.
I'll stick with just being me.

Ever think about the if you were? As there are sure many jobs that could make one purr. Also many many more that would still really bore. So much one can do it is no wonder so may want reincarnation to be true. Maybe someone even wants to be a singing bass? Hey, you will only be judged a little by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

73 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Now 4 in a row
      It's a so-so!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. For in a row
      At the Kitty Cat Show!

      Delete
    3. Sure on the go
      With 4 in a row
      Blue can't spell
      Oh well

      Delete
    4. I can spell but oh how to type?!

      Delete
    5. Type away
      One hand works any day

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Good morning True
      Nice seeing you!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Morning True
      Morning Hank Hank
      Morning Cat and Scooby Doo!

      Delete
    3. Morning to True and Blue
      Pat and for everyone too
      Great company
      Play it easy
      For a morning's ritual do

      Hank

      Delete
    4. A great ritual to have indeed
      Each morning at my feed

      Delete
  3. The Lines Blur With An If I Were!
    A lot of choices open far and near
    But such a bore
    Why must bother
    Be yourself knock them off for sure

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Knock them off
      Then won't scoff
      Always one
      Bored when done

      Delete
  4. If I were a star
    I'd hear your wishes no matter how far
    If I were a tree
    I'd carry your songs in a breeze
    If I were the sea
    I'd make your journey light and free


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going big
      Dance a jig
      Not a job
      Like poor old Bob
      But more of worth
      A part of Earth

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. If I were a politician at my sea
      I'd kill myself in the place to be
      It's the dirtiest job there is
      Doing the poltical biz

      Delete
    2. A little late
      Snoring fate
      Would you fake kill?
      After passing a naughty bill

      Delete
    3. You've got a point
      At your furry joint

      Delete
    4. A point from a cat
      How about that

      Delete
  6. I've never quite figured out what to be, but being a Mom sort of trumps them all. NOT that kind of trump, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a grand job to be had
      No Trump towers at your pad

      Delete
    2. Trump can go jump
      But the other one too
      Boo hoo hoo
      I prefer Scooby Doo

      Delete
    3. Scooby would be better
      Right down to the letter

      Delete
  7. Tires on a car are important. But being a cat is the job for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I'll stick with that
      Yeah, no tires may leave one flat

      Delete
  8. Well, you have all the what-ifs covered. Being a cat is just the best is all I have to say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best way to be
      Sleep and run free

      Delete
  9. Oh, the 'What ifs' of life. Where would we be without them?

    Thoughts in Progress
    and MC Book Tours

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be stuck I suppose
      Single file in rows

      Delete
  10. I wanted to be where I am at
    It used to be great work
    But then some jerk
    Messed it up, now I would want to be a cat.

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha damn those jerks
      Always mess up what works

      Delete
  11. If I were a flake of snow
    I'd be out where the north winds blow
    I'd dip and dive and swirl around
    Play hide and seek until I'm found

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May be rather cold
      Things may stand bold
      Is a good gush took hold
      All could be above the fold

      Delete
  12. if I were a (fill in the blank)
    I'd probably wish I was something else
    So I'll stick with bumbling as a (fill in the blank)

    (I'm still figuring it out)

    (doubt I'll ever know)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fill in the blank
      Beats walking the plank

      Delete
  13. If you were a politician you WOULD be a slimer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ghostbusters for the win
      Not that remake sin

      Delete
  14. Dentists are killing it with the salary. I think they earn every single penny. *Shudders*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, they sure earn every bit
      Having to deal with everyones spit

      Delete
  15. If I were rich
    I hope I wouldn't be a witch
    If I weren't so shy
    Maybe I'd be better at telling why
    My books are good and certain candidates are not
    But then I'd probably be shot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to watch out
      May net you like a trout
      A barrel you get thrown in
      And shot for the win

      Delete
  16. They still want hire me to be a Power Ranger

    Zordon is a prick he said that apparently I’m volatile, self-obsessed, and don’t play well with others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gonna have to get a giant egg and biff it at his giant face
      For thinking such an embrace

      Delete
  17. If I wasn't a writer.....I'd be an X Ray technician. I always wanted to be a nurse, but blood and needles make my stomach roll and my eyes roll back. Grin. But I think I could handle something on the sidelines:)
    Great post, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah, no blood or needles there
      Unless someone is burned, bruised and bleeding bare

      Delete
  18. If I weren't an author
    I'd probably be... a moth hair?

    Yeah, you probably picked the better rhyme with writer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, author doesn't rhyme with much out there
      But one could make it up at their lair

      Delete
  19. Pull my arm pit hair? Hey there, stay away from the pits. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the cat loves it
      One crazy little shit

      Delete
  20. If I wasn't a cosmetologist, I'd be sad about all of the fun I missed

    I don't know if that counts as a rhyme, but it's a start!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hey, it works
      Not being sad has its perks

      Delete
  21. "Actor" and "tractor." What a great rhyme!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A few added letters there
      Factor only has one to spare

      Delete
  22. orlin N cassie

    once in trout towne
    we saw a singin bass
    N said two R selves
    noe mor oh THAT grazz
    that weed waz wackee
    orlin and cass
    frum now on we say
    noe thanx.. we will pass

    ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but it made you rhyme
      With its singing chime
      After you kicked it out
      Want a singing trout?

      Delete
  23. Writer or fighter you make this world brighter.
    Plummer for summer the world's less a bummer.
    Mechanic don't panic to me you're gigantic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Each has a place
      That one can embrace
      Well at least most
      Politicians can go walk off the coast

      Delete
  24. If I were rich.... I would be on a tropical island sipping a cool drink.

    ReplyDelete
  25. If I were a hammer
    I'd hammer in the morning
    I'd hammer in the evening
    all over this l...oops, I think that's been done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Copying is the best form of flattery
      Unless you get into battery

      Delete
  26. I could see me working in some art museum as I always loved art. I could also see working in travel but this was not to be. I am in a place I think I was meant to be and that is good enough for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is what it comes back to
      What is best for you

      Delete
  27. Forget money, my dream would be having a little shop or food stand on a beach in Hawaii. Pay would probably suck, the you couldn't be the atmosphere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The atmosphere would be grand
      Living in the laid back land

      Delete
  28. Money is not the beall and end all in life, .....but it sure helps.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  29. No armpit hair here
    but my toes get bit, if bare. haha.

    ReplyDelete