Tuesday, December 20, 2016

A Fact Filled Cheer Sure Is Near!

The cat wanted to keep the holiday cheer rolling so we are going to do some fact strolling. By the end of this you'll be as cheery as can be. You can trust little old me.

Fresh water kills you quick.
Like getting conked with a brick.
Salt water takes 10 mins to kill you.
Drowning now, what to do, what to do.

Some mothers don't have a hanky,
But they got the baby from some panky.
So how do they get rid of the snot?
They use their mouth to suck out the whole lot.

Use that office mug?
Suck it back with a chug chug?
20% of them contain fecal matter.
Hmmm, a yummy poop platter?

Have nice clear skin?
That sure is a win.
Humans shed 40 pounds in their life.
Gotta love sharing those skin cells with the wife.

Pucker up under the mistletoe.
Let the emotions flow.
There are only 1000s of microorganisms in your yap.
I wonder if they take a nap?

Disneyland is the place to be.
It's so happy from sea to sea.
Ever notice the dust there?
Ashes of the dead are dropped off without a care.

What was that?
You fart where you're at?
We breath in a liter a day.
How do they measure that anyway?

20 pounds isn't much, right?
Even if dropped from a big height.
But 20 pounds of pressure can pop a lad's ball.
I'm not talking about one you bounce at your hall.

This one is disgusting as can be.
It involves your pee.
People use urine to whiten teeth.
Staple that to a Christmas wreath.

And before you go to the loo,
Keep this in mind at your zoo.
Each year 40,000 toilet related accidents occur.
Those drunks and their vision blur.

Aren't you still cheery? Isn't that pee thing eerie? How would anyone this day in age think that? Blah, is all that can be said by the cat. There are actual sites on it too. Some people have no clue. The snot sucking would be nasty as well. We'll never ring either bell. Now I'll go pass some cheery gas out my ever so cheerful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

59 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It's now 6 in a row
      Contending with no foe!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. Thanks Pat, this really cheered me.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A very pleasant post on a Tuesday morning , . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could bring cheer
      At this time or year lol

      Delete
  4. Nothing else today will seem as disgusting now...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I reached the peak
      Sure not for the meek

      Delete
  5. I'm not too cheery after reading this
    lots of things to say ick
    also things to avoid
    and definitely not lick

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Avoidance you now will
      After this post didn't thrill

      Delete
  6. I taught 8th grade for ten years. Woowee, it still is gross to hear. Have a good morning Pat and cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gross can sure come due
      No matter how many times heard at ones zoo

      Delete
  7. This did not bring me cheer
    Now I have much to fear

    You are a bad cat for doing that.. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol and that just makes the cat smile
      All the day while

      Delete
  8. Well, those are some gross thoughts but sometimes all so true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, have to watch out
      What might be about

      Delete
  9. oh boy, you're a bummer
    of gross stuff I don't want to think
    I'm gulping some water now
    what's in it? Water.... Wink!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Water and so much more
      But not to know at one's shore

      Delete
  10. kI am still laughing at all those toilet accidents, dang!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many out there
      Drunks having accidents bare

      Delete
  11. Thanks for making my ho-hum morning fell relatively spectacular, Pat. This was one of your creepiest posts ever ~ far scarier than zombies! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol no need for even zombie feet
      To make it scary at our street

      Delete
  12. Really? People spread their ashes at Disney? Then what? Do their ghosts visit the Haunted Mansion?

    And pee to whiten teeth? That's really gross!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, people actually try and spread ashes there
      Very very nasty with the pee one at any lair

      Delete
  13. Okay, you're on a roll!
    Yuck, yuck, yuck!
    New diet protocol - read this blog anytime you desire food!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got you twice in one day
      That's a win at my bay

      Delete
    2. lol just worked out
      To come that away about

      Delete
  14. So, salt's not it?
    Fresh kills you faster, Pat?
    How would they test it?
    Who'd volunteer for that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe an old wives tale
      Or on mice they hit the trail

      Delete
  15. Gosh, that pee thing! You ruined my happy tooth brushing time. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol stay far far away
      From pee on a toothbrush any day

      Delete
  16. Well, now I want to live in a bubble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bubble may be wise
      All germs in disguise

      Delete
  17. Toileting accidents are often to blame
    Don't drink and pee unless you have good aim.
    Unless of course you're of the female lot
    Then you just have to sit on the right spot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if the toilet seat is up
      Could lead to a hiccup
      One could fall in
      And be stuck up to their chin

      Delete
  18. My wife brings me much Cheer
    Then it becomes really quite clear
    The time to do laundry is near

    ReplyDelete
  19. What was left of Christmas cheer
    Will have to be washed with a beer
    The light is bright, the day is long
    I'll forget that image with a song
    By tomorrow I'll have forgot
    Even the part about the snot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the snot will be known forevermore
      Can't be forgotten at ones shore

      Delete
  20. Well, now. those are all things to ponder.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Humans sure are a disgusting bunch. Now I feel the need to go puke up my lunch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Disgusting as can be
      Many from sea to sea

      Delete
  22. How do they figure out the farts? Using pee to brighten your teeth? I just don't know what to say except they must have visited my home to check out the farts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they sat on a street
      And recorded all farts so sweet

      Delete
  23. You know, don't you
    The best use of urine at your zoo
    It's used to create the hue
    In your jeans of blue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Piss and voila indeed
      Color comes to seed

      Delete
  24. Truth is bitter... and gross

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sometimes microorganisms are worth it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes they may be
      Not many at ones sea

      Delete