Sunday, January 31, 2016

Patience Can Fly With The Rely!

The cat is as independent as can be. He likes to get things done himself at his sea. Why is that? Because then I can get it done stat. No playing the waiting game. With others, it's not the same.

I can't do that.
Can scoop the scat.
Can make a rhyme.
Can spin a dime.

Maybe even mime.
But that's crime.
So no can do,
Here at my zoo.

But can't fix a car.
Nope, can't go far.
Can blow it up though,
In case you want to know.

Can't do a heart transplant.
Yeah, that's a big slant.
Why would I do that to myself?
Let's leave that one on the shelf.

Things you can't do.
We all have a few.
Then you get stuck.
Shit outta luck.

Waiting to get in.
Taking it on the chin.
Waiting for it to be done.
Waiting is just no fun.

Things take time.
That isn't a crime.
But there's time and then there's time.
6 months later is a crime.

A double rhyme.
The same chime.
Still not as much a crime,
As a long arse time.

And then you have some,
Who are just rather umm dumb.
They don't even get it right.
Better off going to fly a kite.

So on the rely,
Patience can fly.
Out the window it may go,
And such chaps can turn from friend to foe.

Ever get that where you are at? Always a melon on which to rely. They are out there to screw some girl or guy. Not in a fun way. Unless maybe you are looking for that at your bay. The cat won't judge, much, if you are. Thankfully none of these nuts have got me for a while at my sand bar. It's like all they do is roll in the grass. They are more lazy than my feline little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

You All Made It Out Alive Of Season Five!

Well now 5 years of blogging has officially come due today at my rhyming zoo. That is a lot of rhymes at my sea. Still about six months to go for 5 years without missing a day and letting rhyming fly free. Got mouthy there but just so you are aware.

5 years have come and gone.
As have a few from my lawn.
Vanished into thin air.
Guess they got scared of cat hair?

Or maybe they got a life.
Could have got a husband or wife.
Hey, maybe just a spring fling,
That lead to this, that or the other thing.

The cat stuck it out.
Betsy is the longest with her shout.
Here from almost the start.
The Gawker and Grammar Nazi went poof at their blog cart.

Suza, Theresa and Mary have kept on,
Every day coming to my lawn.
Even missing a few,
But catching up at my zoo.

Hank is here steady.
#1 at the ready.
Adam as well.
The ninja wannabe rings mostly a daily bell.

He has to take a vacation though.
Those clones must also go.
Betty and Brian the cat,
Sure never fall flat.

Manzi is here,
Rhyming with a cheer,
Terry misses 10,
Then catches up at my den.

Rosey is about,
Only missing a few out.
The redneck and blabber came back,
For another whack.

Anne and Old One Eye come and go and come and go and come and go.
I give Anne great Viking fat chewing visuals though.
And through it all,
A rhyme does call.

5 years of fun,
And sure not done.
Here's to 5 more,
At my rhyming shore.

The cat remembers all in the five years at his hall. Many have come and gone across blogland. Many still are here and lend a hand. Blogland is sure a great place. One the cat likes to embrace. Plus being 9 months ahead I can stay here with ease and do what I please. Now all this nice stuff makes me want to go throw up a hairball in the grass. Thanks to all, except spammers and haters, for the 5 years of fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 29, 2016

The Book Of The Cook!

The cat watches humans at the other sea and they eat with such glee. Pat doesn't bother with that. So it was sure news to the cat. Look at all that cooking. It is worth a double booking.

Step 1 is easy,
Could even be cheesy.
You get out the pots and pans,
To cook for your fans.

Step 2 is grand.
Time for food land.
Get it all ready.
The cooking will come steady.

Step 3 is now here.
Don't run in fear.
Mix the two.
Pot and food in view.

Step 4 is tricky.
Could end up icky.
Set the timer and such.
Can't let it go too much.

Step 5 is simple.
Like popping a pimple.
Add in the extra stuff.
Make sure you have enough.

Step 6 is done.
Set the table and run.
Run to get the rest.
Shiny silverware is the best.

Step 7 is next up.
Put out everything without a hiccup.
Set it on the table all nice and neat.
Then it is time to eat.

Step 8 fill the plate.
That is an easy fate.
Get what you like,
Let food take a hike.

Step 9 scarf it all back.
Pray there is no heart attack.
15 mins or less to eat.
Hours cooking in the heat.

Step 10 has more.
Not done at your shore.
Now it is time to clean.
Need to keep everything serene.

Hmmm, the cat likes Pat's way better here. Then he has more time for my rhyming rear. How do you humans like all that cooking? Unless you are Gloria and cook for blog looking. All the mess and all the cleaning. No thank you to that screening. Do you like cooking for a mass? Screw that, says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Sci Fi Lack At Every Shack!

After the ninja wannabe brought it up a while ago the cat got thinking at his show. Sci Fi shows really suck these days. They are trapped in some endless, brooding, world ending maze.

Can't have fun.
That can't be done.
Nope, not a lick.
To dark and dreary we stick.

Battlestar Galactica got great reviews.
Copy that and you can't lose.
Just look at Stargate Universe,
That was a hit and not a curse.

Pffft to that.
Worse than my scat.
A rip off indeed.
But more shall take seed.

Doom and gloom.
Things went boom.
Now stuck with nothing at all.
Heed the alien call.

Forget adding much.
Just reach out and touch.
Touch the nearest hit.
Then rip off it.

Not in a good way.
Let the rip offs play.
Becoming worse with each one.
Sucking away any and all fun.

Everything is essentially a rip off.
Yes, I know, no need to scoff.
But blatant cookie cutter crap,
Is all that is across the sci fi map.

Nothing pushes the limits much any more.
Maybe we've run out of ideas at our shore?
Some science fiction is no longer fiction,
So could be we lost the fiction depiction.

More likely lazy as can be.
Copy the nearest concept at your sea.
That is how it goes.
Same old crap blows.

So do away with difference and fun.
Go all dark and gloomy with your run.
Then milk it for all it's worth,
As you spread it across the Earth.

I know many genre of show is sinking more and more low, but sci fi shows seem to be all gone. At least any good ones that aren't a con. Any you like that are on? Watch such a sci fi con? Enjoy the all dark and dreary crap? Ugg to that cliched crap. The cat is done with his sass and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

All You Can Eat Just Down The Street!

The cat doesn't mind snacking on this and that. I'll even eat rubber where we are at. I then spit that back up though. But hey, probably still more safe than the places you humans go.

All you can eat,
Sure sounds like a treat.
The "all" is correct.
You'll suffer no neglect.

It's an open buffet today.
Come join the fray.
Again, "open" is key.
Are you following me?

Go to the bar.
Free nuts aren't far.
"Free" is the word.
None flip you the bird.

All, open and free.
What do they mean you ask me?
They mean what they mean.
Have you turned green?

No? I'll help you.
Now you've got a clue.
At least I hope so.
As you may glow.

All for you.
Germs up the wazoo.
Spit, fingers, breath, boogers, unwashed hands and more,
Have touched it all at your shore.

Open is the name of the game.
For open is a fine claim.
The food is open to germs galore.
Need I really say more?

Free is sure wise.
Free tells no lies.
Those nuts come with free bacteria and such.
So reach in and touch.

Enjoy yourself each day.
Grab a bite to eat at some nearby bay.
All, open and free,
Are right there waiting for thee.

Are you ready for a snack?
None of them sure lack.
That buffet is now so enticing.
I hope they have cheap pricing.

Ready to go out to eat now? No need to have a cow. You can go eat one there though. Damn, I'm good at my show. Okay, I'm done tooting my own horn. Go let all, open and free be born. I will go back to my rubber singing bass, chewing away with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Pull A Card For Easy Or Hard!

Humans sure can confuse more than a bit. I guess they prove they are full off umm spit. Some more than others as they spit when they talk. Those are ones you wish would speak using chalk. Or a pen. Hey, didn't rhyme at my den.

That looks so hard.
Nah, it's easy as can be.
Nothing will end up chard,
Just follow along with me.

That looks so easy.
Nah, it is really hard to do.
No need to get sleazy,
Because you don't have a clue.

My, that was hard.
You were sure right.
I'll go mow the yard,
As long as no snow is in sight.

My, that was easy.
You are on the ball.
It was just breezy.
Feel free to stand tall.

My, that wasn't hard.
You are just dumb.
Is your brain scarred?
Can't you walk and chew gum?

My, that wasn't easy.
You lied to me.
I got all queasy.
Now leave me be.

Easy or hard?
What will it be?
Pull a card,
And set it free.

Can't you see?
It was so easy.
Hard to climb a tree?
Now you're just cheesy.

Hard or easy?
What will it be?
Are you all sneezy?
That can't cause glee.

All some kind of draw?
Maybe it's not.
Could be some law,
To the easy or hard plot.

I guess Pat uses that is easy or hard too. All humans do. Yet some things that are hard aren't hard at all. They just take humans forgoing their lazy call. Some things easy may not be as well. It may not be all that easy to get into Hell. Depends on what one can do. Do you use easy and hard a lot at your zoo? The cat always uses three words with his sass, that is just the way of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 25, 2016

A Little Wordy Today At My Bay!

Ever see some fun words at your sea that make you think the user is as crazy as can be? There are quite a few around it would seem. Nope, none of these are a bad, weird or a strange dream.

Would you like a taradiddle?
Is that like a cat with a fiddle?
Bumfuzzle is where it's at.
So a fuzzy butt sporting rat?

Cattywampus has you covered.
A crying cat that hovered?
Gardyloo is ready and waiting.
A guarded loo all would be hating.

Billingsgate is rather cheap.
Microsoft off sheering sheep?
Snickersnee is all yours.
Sounds like snicker eating chores.

Widdershins are second to none.
I bet kicking people there is fun.
Collywobbles are just the best.
Bobble heads that pass the test.

Gubbins are ready to serve.
See one, be sure and swerve.
Diphthong sounds rather umm sin like.
It'd be no good on a hike.

Blatherskite is an easy one.
Talking while flying a kite for fun?
Loblolly is a slow poke?
Or maybe on a lolly pop you choke?

Fartlek means cover your nose.
That type of gas must cause woes.
Codswallop really has to hurt.
You get whacked with a cod when you flirt.

Cockamamie sounds rather bad as well.
Putting that on display may be a tough sell.
Lagopodus sounds like a lego display.
Or maybe a bad disease that is hard to say.

Pandiculation means save the trees,
By giving the poor pandas fleas on their knees.
Pettifrogger is one getting ready,
He wants a kiss to come on steady.

And don't forget to be cool,
Get yourself a great new snool.
It may end up rather gory,
And I mean really vomitory.

Seen any fun ones that give you the runs? Yep, all the words are supposedly real. But the cat's meaning of them may be off as he spun the wheel. Hey, weather people guess every time. So a cat guessing isn't a crime. I may have even got one right. Or this has just been a cockamamie rhyme taking flight. See, I know one that came to pass. So excuse my fartlek little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

It's All Routine At My Scene!

The cat likes his routine each day. Sleep, play, eat and use the litter box at our bay. It's as easy as can be. Getting it messed up does not impress me. But you humans also don't seem to like it at your sea. At least to many it doesn't give glee.

Routine is down.
Can't be a clown.
That won't work.
So not a perk.

Time to write.
Morning or night.
Then comes a call.
It screws up it all.

Time to cook.
Hook or by crook.
Is that saying right?
Bah, something takes flight.

Something breaks.
You get the shakes,
Meaning a nasty cold.
Maybe you find gold.

It screws things up.
Could be a pup.
It comes to your door,
Enters, and decides to explore.

So many things it can be.
Could get eaten by the sea.
Now that would be a bad day.
A tidal wave on display.

But the routine is shot.
We hate it a lot.
Pat can adapt a bit.
But still can hate it.

Being ahead keeps us at ease,
Still, it doesn't please.
The cat likes to leave his scat,
When I want to at our mat.

That rarely gets screwed.
But still needs attitude.
Oh the ruining of my routine.
Plus, some are just so unclean.

Good to get out of the box?
Good to get great locks?
A routine can easily be busted.
But can save you from getting rusted.

Like your routine at your sea? Do you have one like me? Do you care if it is stopped? Maybe not if a feely is umm copped. Now I am back to my routine. That is so serene. It is even agreed on by Cass. So I have to be a right little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Make A Wish For A Dish!

The cat was lounging about while he heard a kid shout. They will get wishes and have tons of dancing dishes. I rhymed the last part. You know I had to at my cart.

Bring on the wish,
With a splash and a splish.
Worked for Aladdin, right?
So why not let it take sight.

A genie shall arise,
He or she may where a disguise.
Could be good or bad.
A fun time may be had.

Might get mad though.
That Jinn were not given a go.
Mixing up the names,
May get you burnt in flames.

Have to word your wish well,
Or could raise hell.
That could be bad.
Way more than a tad.

But first you have to rub,
Go all rub a dub dub.
Nope, not in the tub.
Unless you want to join the genie love club.

Could be a thing.
A genie fling.
Magically for you.
Maybe the genie too.

Anyway, mind from the gutter.
Rub that lamp and don't stutter.
Poof, they will pop out.
Obeying your every shout.

Wouldn't that be grand?
A genie in one hand.
Who can resist believing that?
Then I'd be a rich cat.

So go dig a hole.
Have to get the three wish goal.
Dig and dig and dig.
Stop to dance a jig.

Then a genie will show.
Three wishes will flow.
Oh, and the man in the moon will point the way.
Trust me, I never lie at my bay.

There was my genie rant. Maybe I should chant? Then a genie or jinn or whatever could appear. Think they could hear? Pfffft as dumb as wishing on a star. Not gonna help any at your sand bar. Have to do. Of course it's fine for kids to believe and not have a clue. But adults believe such things as well. Maybe they scooped out some brains and proceeded to sell? Or they listened to a singing bass. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Some May Brain Numb With 2016 Movies To Come!

Once more the cat will show you some that are in store. Who knows if they will get pushed back though, just so you know. But here are some of the movies of 2016 that will come to a big screen.

Captain America Civil War.
Avengers 2.5 as out every hero will pour.
The Suicide Squad.
Another Will Smith movie you won't applaud.

Deadpool will come due.
With an R rating he'll give a bleep you.
Finding Dory is at play.
Cashing in once again at their Pixar bay.

It's Kung Fu Panda 3.
Jack Black needs to make a fee.
Batman Vs Superman.
Plus a whole other clan.

X-Men Apocalypse is coming,
Wolverine and Beast will be chumming.
And it's Tarzan the big ape.
Hey, at least he doesn't wear a cape.

Fantastic Beasts comes for a spin.
Whoops, I mean a Harry Potter cash in.
Moana is going to hit the trail.
Will The Rock singing be a big fail?

London Has Fallen, Oh No!
Bad guys attack wherever the US President will go.
Alice Through the Looking Glass.
Another cash in that may fall on its ass.

Then you have Doctor Strange.
Will Sherlock have range?
Dirty Grandpa is coming too.
Hmm, do I want to know at my zoo?

It's Ride Along 2.
Another cash in, who knew?
Ghostbusters 3.
That one can kiss my ass at my sea.

Those things with different color hair, Trolls!
Is rainbow making their goals?
You got Assassins Creed.
Another video game to movie to make your eyes bleed.

Journey 3: From the Earth to the Moon.
Hopefully the series dies in a moon dune.
And then you have Warcraft.
Think it was born on a raft?

There are just a few that will be out there to view. Any you want to see? A few will sure be seen by me. Not the stupid Ghostbusters remake though. They can stick that up their you know. If only creators made sure no remakes or redos could ever come due like the Back to the Future crew. Then we wouldn't have such crap spread across the map. Bet some will sure haul money in in mass. That is a given to anyone and my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Stuck And Blind To Beat The Grind?

The other day the cat was arguing away. The cat likes to do that. But you know that where you are at. The cat sure did balk as one went into the territory of the stock.

You should buy and sell.
I bet you'd do swell.
Come and buy some stock.
It is a big lock.

Pffft says me.
No way at my sea.
I'd rather bet on a horse race,
Then some stock embrace.

But that is gambling.
Blah, blah, blah rambling.
Gambling isn't the way.
Stocks are better at the end of the day.

Right, no gambling in sight.
Stocks won't bite.
Your money is tight.
Won't lose it in a fright.

That is right.
Come and join the fight.
I bet you make a killing.
The stock market is so thrilling.

Pffft go away.
Take your stocks and play.
You could get a mansion on a hill,
Or end up, broke, on the street and ill.

That will never happen to me.
I will invest with glee.
You really should too.
Time to get rich at your zoo.

Cheaper to buy a lottery ticket.
Maybe even go bet on cricket.
But that would bore.
So bother me no more.

It is not a gamble.
Listen to my ramble.
All is A okay.
You'll make some pay.

Can make it on roulette too.
Now go bug another zoo.
Bite me is all I have left to say.
Don't have a nice day.

The investing nut sure sounded like he was in a rut. Not gambling at all? Believe that at your hall? Unless you have inside scoop, but I hear that is illegal for any troop, it is still a gamble any old day. Maybe not as bad as lottery odds on display. I just say screw it all. Not gonna be joining any last call. Enjoy the stock market at your sea? Think it's a good money tree? I'll stick to my sass and not be a super duper broke little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Round Forty Two With More In View!

The search engines crazies are here. They sure like to come and peer. I bet they never find what they want. That is probably a good thing at my haunt.

pervert santa sex

Want to be jolly with a twinkle? May find many a wrinkle.

pat hatt drummer

Not very well. Sorry, no drumming where I dwell.

rats having sex

Eww to that. Them and their scat.

boats and goats 2015

Back to boat and goats? Need some oats?

Betsy on a train

Wrong place. Over at her zoo do trains they embrace.

toga in my ass

That has to be rough. Maybe get some pliers for that toga stuff.

grey grass sunny

Too sunny? No rain is runny? 

Your mine there kitty

Not on your life. Go get a wife.

going going going

Hmm, an auction at your sea? Or are you having a good long pee?


going through hell today

Don't burn. I hope you return.

hop a trash can

Why hop one? Two is more fun.

you have got to be kidding me

Nope, two is more fun. Three should even be done.

pervert snowman sex

Pervert seeks a pervert today. Might get cold down there, okay?

a mountain in a mole hill

Got that wrong. But I will nod and play along.

And for the final one, we continue with the fun. The fun that may scare you all away. Or make you go throw up in the bathroom anyway. Prepare yourself for this feat. It is a umm treat.

Sexy Squid Balls R Us

Maybe they thought R was their fan? Nasty, no matter their plan. I don't want squid balls or a toga up my ass. These people just have no class. But they give me lots to sass as they keep finding my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Nice Buy Try, Then Goodbye!

Everyone has seen it at one time or another. Hell, maybe one is even your brother. There are people that are as nice as can be, as long as they think they are going to get something from thee.

Oh, you need a new car?
Come and leave your door ajar.
I'll hook you up.
Make you a happy pup.

Oh, you don't need a new car?
Go play in tar.
I have other things to do.
But talk to me when you need something new.

You need a new internet/phone/whatever provider?
Come and sit on my divider.
It may be a little hard on the ass.
But we'll hook you up in mass.

You don't need a new whatever provider?
Go and be a horse rider.
As in ride far far away.
Come again another day.

You need a new house?
One without a mouse.
Come to me today.
I'll hook you up and get my pay.

You don't need a new house?
Go eat a mouse.
That is all I have to say.
Don't have a nice day.

You want to sell your home?
Come here and roam.
I am your man.
I'm your greatest fan.

You don't want to sell your home?
Pffft, go chew on Styrofoam.
I hope you choke too.
But be sure and chew.

You need a new this or that.
How about a new cat?
Come and buy from me.
I'll be oh so friendly to thee.

You don't need anything at all?
Pffft go bounce on a ball.
Leave me alone at my sea.
I don't have time for thee.

There are hundreds of examples out there. I could go on all day at my lair. Know any such people at your sea? A few are known by me. I just avoid or flip them the bird. Actually I'll probably just say the word. Then drop them a little gas. Works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 18, 2016

A Whale Of A Tale Hits The Trail!

The cat is back once more with another kids book encore. It was actually one of the first ones I wrote, for those who were around years ago who take note. I changed it up a bit. And now, on with it.

A whale of a tale,
Hopefully won't fail,
As two get a ride.
They go out with the tide.

The beach wasn't a beach.
Their home no longer in reach.
Now they go on a trip,
After spotting a big lip.

A whale of a trip.
That deserves a flip.
They see a ton.
Could make some run.

A turtle and a flea.
They have such glee.
They are out and about.
They love being out.

At least for a while,
Swimming a good mile.
Or a mile or more.
But what of their shore?











And there we are. Another book added to our sand bar. I think that makes 54 or so kids books at my show. Nearing 100 works overall. Getting closer at my hall. I'm sure it will come to pass from my ever so rhyming little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Fill Your Cup With The Next Up!

Humans sure are strange. That will never change. The cat never tires of saying it though. I enjoy making humans eat crow. Anyway, what have we today? Next up is going to be on display.

What have we here?
The greatest concert ever.
I would give a cheer.
But what's their next endeavor?

What have we now?
That movie was great.
It sure did wow.
But what's next on their plate?

What is that?
A really great show.
My, it has a huge Nielsen stat.
Now where will they go?

I need the next, now.
Even if I like.
I will have a cow,
If next doesn't strike.

Come and tell.
I want to know.
Don't cause me hell.
On with the show.

Yes, this was great.
I will admit that.
But waiting I hate.
Don't be a gnat.

Oh, and it is here.
It was great too.
But what's next to come near?
I want it in view.

And that one came.
I loved it as well.
Don't play a game,
What's next? Do tell.

I just have to know it all.
I have to know what's coming.
The writing must be on the wall.
I can't just go slumming.

Next is soon here.
Next after the next is soon.
Next after the next after the next will kick into gear.
Tell me now, you loon.

Humans sure can't appreciate anything at the time. They keep up with their next upon next crime. Then they tend to miss out. Or at least, can't enjoy much as next is all they shout. Next up I will still get crass. No need to thank my next spilling little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Lying About With This Shout!

Pat thinks he can get us to do this and that. Pffft says the cat. He wants us to lay and look. That isn't happening at our nook. Does it look like we are appeasing mutts? Pat is just nuts.


I'm staying still.
That flash is no thrill.
I won't open my eyes.
 No matter your cries.


I'll turn a bit.
But that is it.
All you shall get out of me.
Go and bother Cassie.


Well she is looking at you.
You just can see her in view.
There is a little white. 
Should have used the flashy light.


Not looking up.
I'm not a pup.
I see a bug.
I'll go get that thug.


Cassie snubbed you too.
That is fun to do.
At least you got one eye. 
That is worth a try.


Damn, I looked up.
Consider that a hiccup. 
But you didn't get all of me.
I still win at our sea.


 I'm doing both for you.
What? Not a good view?
Hey, tough for you.
You need a clue.


Almost there.
Sticking it through a square.
That was wise.
Do you expect a prize?


I guess not.
Still stuck on the spot.
Squares galore,
As I hang on the door.


Fine, I'll look.
Now leave me be at our nook.
You still didn't get all of me.
My toe is out for none to see.

I guess if I make Pat take 1000 pics at our mat, I can be a nice cat. I can still give him a dirty look though. My leg is ready to kick at our show. He gets too close and my rabbit feet will go wham. He can suck on my toe jam. I guess that would be crass. Yeah, I'm not a nice little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Sponsor That From The Cat!

The cat got an email a while ago, why do I even read these at my show? It asked if I wanted to sponsor some crappy post thing. My, I must really be the rhyming king. I get to sponsor now. Maybe I should go back to just saying, meow?

We like you.
We really, really do.
So come on down.
To sponsor town.

Is this the Price is Right?
Do I win a free flight?
Maybe a big boat?
A car of note?

No way.
Just have your say.
And of course pay.
Then you'll be on display.

Where's the fun in that?
Nothing in it for the cat.
Go piss up a rope.
Don't forget to use soap.

But you'll get views.
You'll be in our news.
That is the best.
We beat the rest.

Wow, more views.
But I don't get a cruise?
That is just not neat.
So this email gets a delete.

But it is for us.
No need to cuss.
We just want to help you.
And make some money too.

Sure, help me out.
Go eat a trout.
Choke on it too.
Helped me out at my zoo.

How mean are you?
We no longer want you in view.
You are not a nice cat.
How about that?

Took you that long to learn?
Did you feel the burn?
If it's a burn down there,
May want to visit a Dr. lair.

The cat screwed with them for a bit. Hey, I need my fun somewhere as here I sit. But then just told them to pound sand. Has a nut ever wanted you to sponsor their land? Did you just ignore or screw with them like me? The later is as fun as can be. But in the end they can suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Repeatville For A Thrill!

Never fear it is still a post from my rhyming rear. This hasn't turned into Al Penwasser's place. No repeated post for the umm third time we will embrace. Not a remake either at our sea. Or a reboot, redo and whatever other word can be thought by thee. But you humans do like to repeat as you walk down the street.

Better get better at being better.
Damn, knit that on a sweater.
Or better yet, print it on a shirt.
That will make your better half flirt.

Guessing guesses that were guessed is okay, I guess.
That is one big guessing mess.
Did you guess my post yet?
I guess you can tell the pet.

You changed change right for a change.
Did you do it at Wal-Mart or the gun range?
Something different for a change?
Change sure can be strange.

Writing writers write writing writes.
That will keep you up nights.
Damn, it can make sense too.
What's a writing writer to do?

Fake fakers faked faking fake fakes.
Put that one on birthday cakes.
Be a great fake out,
For a birthday shout.

On the inside insiders hide inside insides.
Unless my insider isn't gross and lied.
Then I don't have the inside scoop,
And I was thrown for a loop.

Walkers walk while walking on walks.
And the cat just sits and gawks.
Wow, that is wisdom there.
Err umm maybe not at my lair.

Twirling twirlers twirl by twirling.
That is a lot of whirling.
Twirl three times around.
I bet what is lost is found.

Shopping shoppers shop while shopping at shops.
Sometimes they even do bunny hops.
At Easter maybe they do.
Don't go shopping around at another zoo.

Why did the why why the other why?
Why should I give that a try?
Why are you asking me?
Why not go jump in the sea?

Do you know more? There are tons from shore to shore. So why did the why why the other why? Was it all one big lie? Can you answer me? Why not at your sea? Why be like me and ignore? Why am I why-ing so much at my shore? I'll now go back to sassing sass with my sassy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

A Little Exploring Into The Boring!

The cat was asked the other day, "Don't you get bored at your bay?" Yeah, I made it rhyme. To not to would be a crime. Hmm, do I look bored to you? Just because you do doesn't mean I do too.

The cat is bored?
Yeah, say it is so.
It has to be explored,
Because whiners want to know.

It can't be.
You have something to do?
That is a mystery to me.
It can't be true.

How do you find the time?
Boring and that go hand in hand?
Hmm, already did a time rhyme.
So to that, pound sand.

And bored is easy,
Even for me.
I just have to get cheesy,
And listen to thee.

Whoops, harm your ego?
That is a shame.
Not really though.
You can be lame.

Look a cat video for me to view.
Nope, still not bored at my zoo.
Called procrastination coming due.
I hope the difference you knew.

So why not?
Like some super plot.
There is a lesson to be taught?
Yeah, don't piss in a kitchen pot.

There is your lesson from me.
Doesn't that sound great?
I know, with my advice spree,
No one can relate.

Now if at the 9-5,
I'd be bored a ton.
You only do that to survive,
As mostly, it isn't fun.

But boredom in life,
Pffft screw that.
No need for such strife,
For this rhyming cat.

Why do people care if you aren't bored? It's like you are offending the lord. Then they go all, "you must be." Like you are lying at your sea. Pffft they can go play with a singing bass and kiss my non-bored little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Cheer Of The Volunteer!

You hear it all the time, you should volunteer your time. Hmm, a cheat rhyme? Bah, not so much a crime. You should do it here and there. You should do it everywhere. It is as easy as can be. Volunteer with me.

Here comes another sap.
I'll reel this one in.
We have much on tap,
That they can take for a spin.

Come and join our cause.
Volunteer your time.
You're sure to get an applause,
And you won't make a dime.

But that is what volunteer means,
So join in with us.
You'll be more famous than those on screen,
Maybe even get to drive a bus.

Doesn't that just ignite you passion?
And here is the best thing,
We don't care about fashion,
Just cover up your ding a ling.

So what do you say?
Ready to join this great group?
It will be just like play.
You will be one of the troop.

Then comes the perk.
The thing you will love.
You'll do lots of work.
Like it was destined from above.

You'll put in hours,
You'll clean up the shit.
Not even able to hit the showers,
Because we demand it.

Your time is ours now.
You can even quit your job.
You can stay and bow.
Don't you want to help Bob?

Don't worry about a thing.
We'll take care of it all.
Until you lose all your cha-ching.
Then you'll get a call.

We found another sap,
So you can take a break.
But come back to our trap,
When more money you make.

Now not all are like this, some are hit or miss, but many want you to work to death. They want you to do so until you are out of breath. Then guilt trip you some more. Pffft to them at my shore. Ever get a bad one? Maybe I'm umm pessimistic with my run? Bah, it provided sass. So it works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 11, 2016

It Works With Tons of Perks!

Don't you love the fly by night crap? They always try and suck in a sap. It works they always claim. When it ends up being very, very lame. But I'm sure that you know. Still giving it a go though.

100% effective it is.
Listen to our biz.
We tested it out on 99% of all.
Shhh, all that was stationed in an abandoned hall.

You won't regret this.
It brings such bliss.
It will heal your back.
Shhh, may give you a heart attack.

We've got just the thing for you.
It was tested thoroughly at our zoo.
You may just buy two.
Shhh, we really tested it at a zoo.

Will make your life great.
Nothing else can relate.
Buy it now and have it forever.
Shhh, forever is a short endeavor.

As seen on TV.
That means it is great for thee.
If you see it in view it can't be wrong.
Shhh, just nod with the model and play along.

Guaranteed to work or your money back.
It is so good it will never lack.
We know you want it.
Shhh, there is fine print about that first bit.

The next big thing.
Grab your phone and ring.
You'll want it right now.
Shhh, it's not yet a cash cow.

You can't live without one.
It helps life a ton.
Get yours today.
Shhh, we may exaggerate what we say.

Get yours while supplies last.
They are going really fast.
Soon they will be all gone.
Shhh, our full warehouse doesn't know about our con.

Won't ever let you down.
It holds the crown.
You just can't get another.
Shhh, we're out to fool you and your mother.

Love these claims at your sea? Are they believed by thee? See these things in ads everywhere. They think they can just say something rare. Next up people shall buy. Pfffft, most of the time just one big lie. All a pile of crap. Tested on nothing but some poor chimp or chap. Oh, but it is 100% true for every landmass. Pffft again says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Offend Or Defend With Room To Amend!

No matter what you say you can stir the pot at your bay. But it seems some can say more than others. They can shout it until it smothers. Then others can say a thing or your a whatever at your wing.

Let's make fun.
Come on everyone.
It's as easy as can be.
But you can only do it to me.

You can't do it to her.
She sure won't purr.
And just watch him.
Even if he's dim.

You can't do it to them.
They may spit phlegm.
Whoops, their black.
Watch your back.

Oh, a religious nut,
They are fine at your hut.
Making fun of them is A okay.
Go ahead and have your say.

Whoops, watch those guys.
They are far too wise.
Don't diss the female.
She may come and wail.

And watch out for men.
They may show up at your den.
Those people could be on you.
That just wouldn't do.

Celebrities are okay.
Say what you want to say.
But normal people, nope.
Watch out for the Pope.

That country you can go ahead,
Nope, that one will cause you dread.
May even hack off your head.
So watch what is said.

And watch the defend.
Now that too can offend.
Defend someone like that.
And you may get pelted with scat.

And above all,
Read the writing on the wall.
You have to stay PC.
That is just the way to be.

Rather pathetic how some are okay and others you are supposed to watch what you say. As long as poking fun not in mean way, whoopdi friggin doo I say. Can make meme's on religious nuts up the ying yang, but do it on this or that or that or this and dang. Now you are just soo mean there at your scene. I'll stick to being an equal opportunity insulter with my sass. It seems to work for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

The Best Ever With My Vacation Endeavor!

The cat just had the best vacation ever. Did you even know I had pulled the lever? Did you think I was here the whole time? Damn, I fooled you with my daily rhyme.

The cat was bored,
And done with the hoard.
Hoard as in the cats at the other sea,
They are such a pain in the butt of me.

So I struck out.
I packed some trout.
I got things ready.
I began to trot steady.

Cassie came too,
After using the loo.
You never know how far it will be,
Until we find another litterbox in which to pee.

We left Pat snoring.
He is really boring.
Maybe he was just dreaming.
Who cares with his TV streaming.

There we were,
No ruffled fur,
Each trotting away.
It was a great day.

There was no snow.
The sun did show.
I even saw grass.
The sure impressed Cass.

We jumped a bit,
But missed it.
So we tried again,
Like we do at our den.

We made it with ease.
That was a breeze.
Cass had to try a time or three,
A little heavy is she.

Must be all the grass.
Hey, at least she doesn't have gas.
That is just me.
And now we were free.

We stretched out in the sun,
Just watching everyone.
The balcony was grand.
All need one in their land.

What? You thought we went far at our hut? Do I look rich? Pat just had a glitch. He threw a bug out the balcony door and both Cass and I decided to explore. Yeah, we darted out to see what was what. Pat grabbed us each by the butt. He said we might jump over the rail. Like I'd do such a fail. We were almost free. Actually he was watching us at our sea. We'll pretend he didn't let us stroll though. It was really my idea you know. Such a vacation for me and Cass. The ten seconds out there impressed my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 8, 2016

You Should At Your Hood!

The cat has actually gotten a few "You Should" emails at his sea. I figured I could use them with a rhyming spree. So let's see what helpful people have to say. Some must have waaaaay too much time on their hands at their bay.

You should only blog one day a week.
Yep, got that advice at my creek.
Hmmm, lazy people anyone?
Maybe they don't like my 365 day run.

Make the poor sap look bad?
Poor, poor them at their pad.
All blog how they do.
So to that I give a big screw you.

You should do more in depth poetry.
Pffft and I'm a dog at my sea.
I'm about as much a poet as a frog.
Just a rhyming nut or a bump on a log.

You can take your pick.
But deep, yeah, and I'm a wood tick.
No blood sucker here.
So that idea can kiss my rear.

You should show yourself more.
What? You want a "vet balls" encore?
I'm here every day.
See that little pic on display?

I'm not an attention whore.
So no need at my shore.
Just have to settle for the cat.
So you can stuff that.

You shouldn't rhyme all the time.
Damn, now there is a crime.
What a load.
You a toad?

Maybe a cow?
You have one, wow!
That is my schtick though.
So shove your advice, you know.

Can you make a rhyme about me?
Asks someone who never came to my sea.
hahaha yeah, in a heartbeat.
But will I give you such a treat?

Okay, I guess I will.
I hope you get your fill.
Bite me you lazy SOB.
That's all you get out of me.

The last wasn't really advice, I know. But I had to give it a go. Get any advice at your sea? Maybe they just care about me? Yeah, nah, they are full of it. And by it, I mean shit. Their "advice" came in the run of a year, so it wasn't all at once for my rhyming rear. I may not have been able to handle it that way. It was such great things they had to say. Pfffft, I'd rather take advice from a singing bass. He is much more impressive to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

The Title Scheme By The Stream!

The titles are here for all to see. There are so many they may confuse thee. Hmmm, that is the point at each and every joint. A cash grab as they try and pick up the tab.

A book does well.
The author was swell.
Or just won out.
Either way, time to shout.

Shout, not in that way.
I'm sure the author likes their pay,
But now their title is grand.
It will get used across the land.

In come the sharks,
Looking to make their marks.
Time to rip off a ton.
Let's have some title fun.

Put a "the" in the title.
Now your book won't be idle.
Put a "A" in one.
Damn, you'll sell a ton.

Spell a word another way.
That will sure get you some pay.
Maybe even use the same one.
That just has to be done.

Then they will see,
How great you are with your spree.
You can rip off a title with ease.
I'm sure your writing will please.

Then they will buy more.
No need for a rip off encore.
You will be the next big thing.
Doesn't that have a nice ring?

All because you ripped off another,
Their words you didn't smother.
They got big and now it's your turn.
You deserve a great return.

Whoopsy, yours still pales.
Yep, you hit the third rails.
No jolts for you though.
You just ate crow.

Did it taste grand?
Was it fun in rip off land?
I bet you had the title first, right?
Damn that author for first taking flight.

Notice how the rip offs come when a book does good? Same for movies in ones hood. The titles get ripped off a ton, and usually, they are crappily done. Trying to trick the reader/viewer is all it is. Some make a good living off of such a biz. Like those direct to video guys. They trick many with their lies. Ever go rip off at your sea? Sure not the way to be. Better off going and eating some grass. It works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

A New Year With More Fear!


 The year is new.
Am I telling you?
Are you telling me?
Are we really free?

To in depth for you?
Yeah, me too.
Let's get going.
With this iwsg showing.

The year is new.
But that you knew.
Knew and new.
Ha, who knew.

I guess you.
Is that true?
Only you knew.
In a minute or two.

Would that be know?
A no and know show?
No and new.
Know and knew.

Aren't I confusing?
I find it amusing.
But that you knew.
Hopefully at my zoo.

What is the point?
Nose out of joint?
That can be done.
Not with my fun.

Unless screen meets head.
Then that can cause dread.
Who wants that?
Sure not the cat.

But that you know.
So don't be slow.
Catch up to the cat.
How about that?

You caught up.
Quicker as a pup.
Away any insecurities flew.
But that's nothing new.

I knew a new year won't make them go away. Do you know without a no at your bay? New Year is not magic at all. You'll still have them as long as you let them be there at your hall. Toss them in the trash and then have your bash. Maybe add a little sass. Works for my secure little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Want A Funny Look Follow My Nook!

The cat can get plenty of funny looks at our sea. It is as easy as can be. I mean I could lie to get a few. But it is more fun when the truth comes due.

There is the look,
Like wtf at my nook.
Did he say that?
What a dingbat.

Head tilts to the side.
Their confusion they try and hide.
They mull it over a bit.
Then usually just dismiss it.

I'm a rhyming cat.
Comes up to bat.
That gets a good showing,
A wtf look will start glowing.

I'll blog about that.
Doesn't chew any fat.
A blog is so foreign to most.
Is that a journal at your coast?

I'm retired I've used.
That leaves me amused.
They sit and stare,
Thinking I'm some bum or millionaire.

I write a lot.
Like things without a plot?
I write that too.
Much accounting notes come due.

Nope, write books.
Bring on the looks.
But I never heard of you?
Aren't all authors rich at their zoo?

I don't like food.
This one gets looks and attitude.
How can you not eat that?
Don't you want to be like me...fat!

Pffft to any stupid shot
But oh no, you can't stop the flu plot.
Go get it now.
My finger makes their look have a cow.

Bring on the look.
Go all wtf at my nook.
It only amuses me.
Then I'll use it at my sea.

Have ways to get a funny look? Make any give you a wtf look at your nook? It is so easy to do for me. A rhyming cat I let fly free. Think I'm nuts as can be. Works for my sea. Then maybe I'll go roll in the grass with my bare little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Cheery As Can Be Are We?

The cat hears this thing about Christmas cheer. Pffft where is it for my rhyming rear? I must get the short end of the cheer stick. My end is just rather ick. Don't believe me? Look at this spree.


I know what's to come.
So I hide my rhyming bum.
Can you guess too?
Cassie surely knew.


This was it.
I hate this shit.
Can't you see I'm not impressed?
That doesn't even need to be confessed.


Then we get at the other sea,
And a mutt starts to taunt me.
 Pffft like I'd fall for that.
Not getting this cat.


Then we have another one.
This one is more fun.
I can chew on him.
 What is that he's eating on a whim?


Why it's a hairball.
 Isn't that yummy to all?
Pffft a nasty mutt indeed.
His tail though is tasty feed.


Hmm, what is this?
 Could give bliss.
It can move about.
I'll have to try it out.


Works for me.
Whoops, time to flee.
 Pat is back to packing.
I get no more attacking.


Ugg once more.
Stuffed in for the encore.
I'm still good and pissed.
It still can't be missed.


Now I'm home.
365 days or so until I roam.
I have to get my energy back.
 So not cheery at my shack.


Of course she's as happy as can be.
Posing there at our sea.
 Cassie is just a kiss ass.
Although she did hiss at the mutts in mass.

Now do you see why the cat has no time for cheer? I get lugged around by my rhyming rear. Swatting ten cats, avoiding one big mutt and chewing on two more small mutts sure is a lot of work. I have no time to give a cheery smirk. Plus that cage fills me with rage. Cassie just sits there and hogs space in mass. But I hog back with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

An Adult Date For A Mate?

So the cat was told a while back that he should do an adult dating site where we are at. I knew my eyes would probably burn but I figured I'd give it a turn. I won't even repeat what is on some. They would make your mind go numb.

Join an Adult dating site today.
Wait? Isn't a dating site for adults anyway?
Damn, that may confuse.
Now go and peruse.

Are you back?
Did you have a heart attack?
They sure don't lack.
They are sure whack.

There the crazy you shall find,
But they'll grope your behind.
Or so they say anyway.
Take your chances come what may?

Nah, you'll get a disease.
That isn't the bees knees.
Even if you wrap it,
More than a bit.

You may get shot,
Yep, as there are a lot.
A lot as in "bored housewife"
Do you need that strife?

And then there are some,
Who don't look glum.
They want that bum,
And to crush you like a plumb.

Yep, you'd be screwed,
Whether or not they are crude.
One even had a whip.
Bet she'd bite off your lip.

Then there were the fakes,
That still give the shakes.
Obviously just a scam.
The equivalent of toe jam.

Good luck if you try,
Sure not for this guy.
The normal sites are dumb,
But these ones are scary and then some.

Now after seeing such nuts being flirty.
I feel a tad dirty.
I will go shower at my sea.
No bored housewives for me.

Damn, they are really scary there. Scary by the pair. But if that is your thing, go ahead and have a fling. Don't say the cat didn't warn you though. You could get dealt your final blow. I stuck to only each lass, they were scary enough for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Those Boots Are In Cahoots!

Cahoots is such a fun word that cat has to use it and be absurd. Maybe I'm in cahoots with cahoots today. Cahoots just doesn't get enough play. Cahoots wants to come a calling. Don't leave cahoots balling.

Come and be in cahoots,
Maybe with some newts.
Newts in cahoots.
That beats grassroots.

Cahoots is sure here.
Do cahoots you fear?
No need for that.
Cahoots with a cat.

Maybe a cat hoots?
Was it Puss n Boots?
Isn't hooting left for an owl?
Cats just hiss and growl.

Could be a bird going ca.
Then it hoots with a la la la.
Cahoots came of it.
So a bird and song were a hit.

The two were in cahoots.
Guess no room for newts.
Could that be the roots?
Those two in cahoots.

Cahoots to be in cahoots.
That would spawn some routes.
Maybe get some hoots,
By one in cowboy boots.

Cahoots for the cow and boy?
They are playing it coy.
Need to sell those boots.
Yep, they're in cahoots.

Businessmen and a tailor store,
They don't just bore.
They are in cahoots.
They make you buy suits.

Hmm, have any disputes?
Maybe they aren't in cahoots.
Or they need recruits,
To stay in cahoots.

Are you a cahoots recruit?
Don't sit and dispute.
Claim your cahoots roots.
Be proud of being in cahoots.

Isn't cahoots a fun word? Is my cahoots absurd? Are you in cahoots at your sea? Are you in cahoots with a tree? That would be a sight to see. Might even impress me. Have the tree fall on a head, poof, your enemy is dead. Cahoots can sure come in mass. But I won't be a cahoot-ing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 1, 2016

We Get Tragic With Stocks, Goals, And Magic!

The new year is here. 2016 is no longer near. So 2016 it is. 2016 has lots of biz. My, what a new year can do. So invigorating to each zoo. It goes up one whole number while most people slumber. Wow, that is so...wow. 6 should take a bow.

Time to do.
Release the glue.
It's no longer stuck to you.
Just do and do at your zoo.

Or maybe take stock.
That is a lock.
Sit back and stare,
Stare up in the air.

Yeah, that will help.
That won't make you yelp.
What a year it was.
I'll take stock just because.

Nope, no need for that.
Not where I'm at.
It's time for a goal.
Yep, that is a better stroll.

The stroll of the goal.
Could even impress a mole.
Let's set some goals.
That will fill some holes.

Or maybe we'll do all three.
Damn, that would be great to sea.
Live in the past,
It will be a blast.

But live in the future too.
My, how smart are you?
And don't forget the magic.
That is never tragic.

That just has to be done.
The year went up by a WHOLE one.
Doesn't that impress?
Come now, confess.

Wow, that was a lot of work.
Thinking and goal setting isn't a perk.
I have to go sit down.
It's like I ran across town.

The time to do is done.
I had my fun.
Time to reattach the glue.
Who needs anything new?

Pfffft once more says the cat. Just do it where you're at. A whole number change isn't going to help you out. You are the only one that can add such clout. But believe in magic if you must. In the Tooth Fairy you can also trust. The cat will now go pass more magic gas out my magical little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.