We haven't seen the nuts for a while as in the book world they sure did pile. But the new year almost didn't start. It was thanks to some kind of art.
Cassie and I were out for a stroll when we saw the bug eyed creep on patrol. Tarsier Man was dancing like a loon and singing his tune. He sure thought he was grand and asked us if we needed a hand. We said no and he still wanted to charge us dough. What a creep. I hope he goes and falls in a hole somewhere deep. As he strolled away, Cassie and I saw a rather familiar display. It was that third person talking nut. He is worse than a crap eating mutt.
"Drazin sees the fleabags have rid themselves of that crazy human, Pat. Drazin would be impressed if Drazin was impressed by fleabags." Drazin grunted and made his eyes glow. We are so glad him and his two dollar contact lenses are no longer a foe.
"What's the godly mook want? We never sent for you. Wait, have we ever?" Cassie puffed her tail up in the air and we trotted by him without a care. Then the shit hit the fan. At first we blamed that third person talking man. "What did you do, godly mook?"
"Drazin didn't do this. Drazin is here to stop it. Drazin is a god after all. Drazin knew you fleabags would be here and Drazin figured Drazin would let you help."
"How many times did he just say his own name? Damn, you are ever so lame." I got ready for an attack as I gave Drazin some flack. The clock was still stuck and everyone around us was as frozen as a buck. You know, one of those frozen in those headlight things that glow.
"I did it. I did it." Gunafu of color kept cheering as he hopped in view. I hate him more than Drazin between me and you. "Hey! Why are you three able to move? I froze time so there could be no new year. I can rob the world of color and remake it in my colorful image before time ever stops again. You should be frozen like everyone else."
"Way to keep your secret plan secret." Cassie snickered at the schmuck as he was more foolish than a cartoon duck.
"Drazin is a god. Your puny power can't stop Duke Drazin. Drazin helped the fleabags out too. Drazin figured they would want to have a piece of you."
"Ho, why is it like everyone is a snowman?"
"Gung, I have no idea. Do you think it is a snowman conspiracy?
"Ho, we have to get out of here. Frosty is out to take over the world."
"Did you have to protect them?" Cassie asked, as Gung and Ho started searching for cover. They tip toed around each frozen person like a scared rover. "Ugg, and him too?"
"Tarsier Man is here, everyone give a cheer. He'll save your bank. Fill up your gas tank..."
"Even I don't want that damn rhyme in my head. Stop crime and stop causing us dread." I noticed Drazin smirking away. He had to have caused this whole foray.
"This is not possible. My carefully thought out plan can't be stopped by a bald guy, a giant monkey, two cats and two stupid humans. This is not possible."
"Why do people say that when it is happening? Do you think they don't know the meaning of the word?"
"Another human! This is not possible!" Gunafu of color threw a tantrum as Pat showed up. He even spilled his paint cup. The color then leaked out onto the ground and movement was once again found.
"And now Drazin's job is done. Drazin loves it when Drazin doesn't have to do any work. Don't you love Drazin's plans?" Drazin smirked and then trotted away. "See you soon, fleabags."
"Wow, that was the easiest bad guy take down ever." Cassie laughed as I grabbed his brush and snapped it. My sharp teeth are really a hit.
"Ho, they are moving."
"Gung, it's snowman zombies. Everyone for themselves."
"Everyone give a cheer. Tarsier Man is here."
As the two fools ran away Tarsier Man acted like he saved the day. People actually cheered the nut while we went back to our hut. Pat started acting like he had voices in his head once more. It was at that point we figured we were bound for some far off shore. Did we make it home? Did we roam? I guess we shall see what comes to be. Just be glad you aren't frozen anymore there at your shore.
It was quite the new year's day. It almost didn't come to play. Did you notice you were frozen at your bay? That would sure cause some dismay. At least now the true story has been told. Let that sink in and take hold. I'll go chase snarky Cass with my ever so little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.