Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Feel The Points In Your Joints!

The dating nuts aren't back yet. But one day having them back is a safe bet. Still who needs those nuts. We got more to help you get out of dating ruts.

Step right up.
Fill your cup.
Meaning fill in each blank.
Tick the box or walk the plank.

You need to do it.
Fill in every bit.
If you don't we can't match.
Don't you want the best of the batch?

How old are you?
Have any kids come due?
Would you date one with kids?
Do you take gambling bids?

Do you like to stare?
Do you want to be a pair?
Do you like to run?
What do you find fun?

Are you in shape?
Shaped like a grape?
Need a mate like that?
Don't worry, we won't fall flat.

Are you into older?
Are you into bolder?
Are you into younger?
One to thirst your hunger?

Do you really care?
Do you like long hair?
Do you have money?
Do you think you're funny?

Congrats to you!
Your matches have come due.
You've got so many.
Now don't neglect any.

Here they are.
Near and far.
Many on hand.
Isn't it grand?

They are a 95% match.
Open that latch.
You got so many more.
So open the door.

Pffft says the cat. Do you love the same old survey crap where you're at? Still shows the same matches. They just stick them in different batches. But oh, they are 95% in tune with you. They are even in tune when they poo. Doesn't that just make you want to join the online dating mass? You could get matched with a furry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

79 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Starting all over again
      No.# 1 regained!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Good morning Hank
      starting new
      because of True ;)

      Delete
    3. Ruined his streak
      Maybe he's wishing you fall in a creek lmao

      Delete
  2. Feel The Points In Your Joints!
    State them, choices are wide open
    All shapes and sizes
    Mindful of some lies
    Fun of surprises but may disappoint

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Disappointment may come due
      If one believes only the view

      Delete
  3. I met a dating nut,
    With him I set up home.
    Little did I know,
    What there was to come.

    I was battered and was bruised.
    How he made me cry.
    After seven and a half years we split.
    After him saying "Why Don't You Hurry Up And Die".

    Loved your verse.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yvonne
      Is this for real or just a made-up rhyme?
      Belva

      Delete
    2. Ugg those type of people need to die in a ditch
      Or at least get enough fleas that they always itch

      Delete
  4. I don't know how anyone can find a true mate that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some convince themselves they do
      And placebo can make it true

      Delete
  5. On paper Ray and I would be a total non- match. But reality works for us.
    And that's a plus

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reality wins the day
      That should be the way

      Delete
  6. Psychopaths and Sociopaths on the net you find
    They have no conscience, are never very kind
    Behind bars or locked up, that's where they should be
    Put em in one big stockade and throw away the key

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dig a giant hole
      Chuck in every such soul
      There you can let them rot
      In their own made plot

      Delete
  7. I hate all these questions . Right now I dont answer many of them . Lo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well , well someone might be surprised
    when a fuzzy cat with gas arrives (haha)

    Ok you set it up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that they may
      Run far far away

      Delete
    2. Kitty are you the pick of the litter
      do you like to have fun with glitter.. lol

      To that the cat should run
      Hide his rhyming bun..


      Delete
    3. Run from the sparkly nuts
      And their glitter ruts

      Delete
  9. Lots of people going through those sites these days.
    If I ever tried, I'd probably end up with a serial killer at my door.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are plenty of other nuts too
      So few really have a clue

      Delete
  10. Glad I'm out of the dating scene
    don't have to deal with the nut cakes that are out
    even if I'm left alone down the road
    won't be dating or going about

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A dog or cat is easier to get at ones zoo
      Much less hassle to come due

      Delete
  11. I recommend the old fashioned way . . . Head to your local bar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Drunks a plenty there
      Some can surely scare

      Delete
  12. No thanks to the dating scene. I am perfectly happy with my cats.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my gosh--the dating game sucks. I was only back in the ring for a few years and it almost did me in! lol It would probably make a funny book though--DATES GONE WRONG or HOW TO LOSE A GIRL IN TEN SECONDS. You get the idea :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol oh yeah, I could make quite the book too
      It sucks a ton no matter where one has their zoo

      Delete
  14. I still get online dating emails that are pretty darn weird!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they may think twice
      Not finding your fur nice

      Delete
  15. I have no idea what algorithms they use to determine matches, but they're pretty messed up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they surely are
      Probably pull them from a hat near and far

      Delete
  16. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with the dating thing:)
    You have a good one, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
  17. There is a website that caters dating for Trump voters.

    I didn't think the deplorables would need a dating site to find their own cousin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, they'll try anything at all
      To make money at ones hall

      Delete
  18. I have to say, I've never been a fan of the online dating idea. Might work for people, but I just can't see myself signing on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it can work
      But sooo not a perk

      Delete
  19. I don't think I'm ready to smash the printer but a light winter in Michigan is something to celebrate and so far, so good. (That said, snow soon.)

    Thanks for stopping by The Marmelade Gypsy from Sandra's!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, snow sucks a ton
      We've also, so far, had a light run

      Delete
  20. this was really interesting!
    it was nice to visit your blog!

    be blessed! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. orlin N cassie......frank lee we haz nothin ta worree bout on de datin seen coz we taked a pledge upon birth ta ree mane cloo less & date less R hole live long livez ~~ thatz why catz HAZ nine lives we bee leeve ! ♥♥♥☺☺☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good reason
      9 lives with no dating season

      Delete
  22. I wonder if one filled this out to be so perfect it would make the other half drool but then you post a pic of the ugliest person you can find-no teeth, balding with a pot belly-and that would be the woman! Hahahaaa-how many hits would that get:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that would be fun to do
      Seeing what came into view

      Delete
  23. I have mixed feelings about dating sites. It's hard to find suitable people no matter where you go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that sure is the truth
      Maybe one should set up a "date me" booth

      Delete
  24. She went out on her first blind date
    The food he selected was great
    She just couldn’t find
    Why he was called blind
    Till he couldn’t see bill on plate

    ReplyDelete
  25. Shaped like a grape, now that is funny.
    Perhaps they'd get a date, if they had lots of money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Money is king
      Can sure get one a fling

      Delete
  26. Some find fun
    On the dating site run
    I'm so thankful not to be
    In the dating sea

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm so glad that I have Terry!
    Don't need a computer dating fairy
    to fill my life
    with 95% matched strife!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 95% matched is full of it
      Every little bit

      Delete
  28. So glad I found my mate
    Before having to suffer online dating fate
    Too many crazies that want to mingle
    No thank you, I'd rather stay single

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Single sure wins the day
      With the online dating foray

      Delete
  29. I stay away from dating sites. I'm sort of married - living with an ex husband - but have never had dating luck on-line. I guess I just can't get a good "feel" for a person unless I meet them in person, and trading compliments (or hard luck stories) online doesn't do it for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, online can be impersonal and such
      Real life you can learn much

      Delete
  30. In shape you say?
    Hahahahahaha at my bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But check out my Olympic snore
      Makes you want to eat the floor
      It's loud and annoying, too
      No points for Blue

      Delete
    2. Can't even get a "2"
      Sign raised for you

      Delete