Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Day Beam Of A Stream!

Or should that be dream? A dream stream? Dream team? We'll stick with beam and stream. Can't be too predictable at my sea. I can, but there is no need to be. Have I bored you yet? Then this post has set.

Off you go.
Thoughts sure flow.
Flow out the window.
Off you go.

Staring away.
Night or day.
Mind at play.
Staring away.

Wouldn't that be nice.
If only you could afford the price.
Your little happy Earth slice.
Wouldn't that be nice.

That would be grand.
Love hand in hand.
Together you would stand.
That would be grand.

You being in the know.
Could win some dough.
Or make some dough.
You being in the know.

What could have been.
Scratch your chin.
A whole different inn.
What could have been.

If that was you.
Dreams by a few.
Would it be true?
If that was you.

The old what if.
Take a sniff.
Got a good whiff?
The old what if.

Staring away.
Night and day.
Mind at play.
Staring away.

Off you've gone.
One big con.
Nothing it did spawn.
Off you've gone.

Don't you love day dreaming? One big mind streaming. A stream that will probably never come due. Why? Because you are too busy day dreaming at your zoo. Maybe if dream meant do it would come through. But then you need a little to get the thought. All in moderation with the day dream plot. Did day dreaming come to pass? I know, today I was such a repeat rhyming little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 27, 2017

A Safe Bet Not A Pet!

The cat won't be talking about Spot or Fluffy. We wouldn't want dogs or poofy cats getting huffy. Actually the cat would but we do that all the time at our hood. A different huff and puff comes from today's pet umm stuff.

Come here, Pooky Bear.
Umm blank stare.
Oh that sure tickles.
Stop it, Kitten Pickles.

Now let's cuddle.
Get close to me, Love Puddle.
Stop with the name drops.
That is better, Pudgy Pops.

Now, now, don't cry.
Come here, Cow Pie.
Don't move like a slug.
Get to it, Bed Bug.

Get me the ice cream scooper.
Thanks for the assist, Juicy Pooper.
I think you have a winky.
I got it for you, Binky.

I need some money.
Thanks a lot, Funny Hunny.
I love how your butt wiggles.
Keep doing that, Giggles.

You threw me for a loopie.
I'm making up words, Poopie.
The fun will never stop.
Play with me, Soda Pop.

Come get some hanky panky.
Hurry it up, Yankee.
You are better than the jocks.
I hope you know that, Furry Socks.

Let's do some back flips.
Join me soon, Sweetie Hips.
I tell you no lies.
Believe me, Bashful Eyes.

Don't stop your embrace.
Hold me close, Sex Face.
Go and grab a toy.
We'll enjoy it, Quirky Boy.

With you I'm never bored.
Let's go for a run, Ford.
I want you too,
My little Stinky Boo.

Did you have a pet name? I hope it is not that lame. Actually they may all be. But to each their own at their sea. The cat gets called a boob. Should I flush Pat down that white swirling tube? It's a loo if you don't know. Not sure he'd fit though. Hey, I am of the kiss ass feline class. An attention seeking little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

A Baggy Stink The Missing Link?

So the cat was out and about, or Pat was but I give this shout, and I wound up in a job fair. Some of the people made me stop and stare.

Employment is my goal.
An income is my want.
Life can take its toll,
When bills begin to haunt.

I'm looking at it all.
I'll do whatever comes.
Just give me a quick call,
And we'll become chums.

Forget my manly stink.
So I have a little BO.
It makes me likeable I think.
Just let that aspect go.

Forget my hairy crack.
It's there for all to see.
Just don't be at my back,
And you'll be ass crack free.

My baggy pants are in.
You can't deny the style.
I wore them so I'd win,
Get to turning that dial.

The flip flops are swell.
They let my feet breathe.
That toe fungus can be hell.
I've had it since I began to teethe.

There is a form to fill?
I'm sorry, I can't right now.
You see I'm rather ill.
But my experience will wow.
Here is my number and name.
That is all you need to know.
I'll now make any old claim.
I worked for NASA a year ago.

So won't you hire me?
I'll prop your workplace up.
Wait, I just flicked off a flea.
No, I don't own a pup.

What's with the awkward glare?
Are you discriminating against me?
Wait, another flea in my hair.
I hope to soon hear from thee.

It was pathetic as can be. All of that is true at my sea. From ass cracks hanging out to dirty flip flop feet that would make any OCD shout. And they wonder why no one will hire them anywhere. Ever seen such a job fair? The place was decent and such too. Just some of the people looking for jobs looked like they crawled out of the loo. I think I'll hang out with the singing bass. He doesn't show any cracks to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Get Swift With A Shift!

Humans love this one. They can mix it with a whining run. We've done that though. No mix and match needed at my show. This one can provide a year's worth of rhyme. Humans do it all the time.

Why didn't you wait?
I was only an hour late.
You should have been there.
Why couldn't you have time to spare?

Why didn't you take out the trash?
You could do it in a flash.
Who cares if I said I'd do it.
Here I would rather sit.

Why don't you get fat?
Would make me feel better where I'm at.
Exercise is too much work.
Get fat like me, it's a perk.

Why don't you bring change?
I so want things to rearrange.
But I won't do any of it.
Here I would rather sit.

Why don't you get a second job?
I need more corn on the cob.
I need that new game as well.
You working more would be swell.

Why didn't you tell me once more?
I ignored the latest encore.
I even missed it written in pen.
You should have told me again.

Why didn't you get gas?
Three gas stations I did pass.
I was the last one to drive.
But I have to do things to survive.

Why didn't you land on my number?
I dreamed about it in a slumber.
You should have hit it.
It's rigged, every bit.

Why didn't you warn me?
The warning is there to see.
But you should have told me.
I blame my poisoning on thee.

Why didn't you...insert something here.
Insert a shifting blame cheer.
Throw in a poor pitiful me,
And you've got it at your sea.

Are you a blame shifter? I hope you are a tad swifter. Such people need to go away. The cat will throw a cashew jar filled with his waste at them at our bay. Then they can blame me all they like as they take a hike. Now I will finish this rhyming pass.No shift needed from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Time For Eight On This Date!

The cat turns 8 today. That makes me close to 50 the vet posters say. The fatter you are the older you are. That's what the poster says anyway at their sand bar.

I should be doing this.
Not giving off a hiss.
Just sitting away.
Staring with no say.

Still staring out.
What's that about?
Old age is grand.
All you do is stare at the land.

Find a comfy blanket.
Then just plank it.
Stare some more.
A staring encore.

Turn your head.
Prove you aren't dead.
Look this way and that.
 But don't chew the fat.

Stare wider.
Maybe at a spider.
But don't move anywhere.
Too old at your lair.

Tilt you head a bit.
 Continue the staring shit.
Act like it interests you.
Then find another to view.

Do a fake stare.
Don't go anywhere.
Just stare and sleep.
Old age is so deep.

Remember to stare and drink.
 From bowl or sink.
Drink so you can lay.
There is where you stay.

Act innocent too.
No matter what you do.
That staring is hard on the eyes.
Plus you have to act wise.

Pffft to all of that.
I'll still be a mobile cat.
Doing what I want with ease.
Biting Cassie is a breeze.

The cat won't conform to old age. Is 50 still old at any page? Beats the heck out of me. The cat still runs around with glee. I put the boots to the mutt too at the other zoo. So 8 years have come to pass. Here's to another 8 more for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

The Sidebars Of Cars!

Well at the other sea the cat watched a new car buy come to be. Buy I guess is not the case as the loans come at a steady pace. Isn't it sad the crap they add?

Look at this fancy one.
Hear it purr just for you.
She will get any job done.
And she's brand spankin new.

You can hop on in.
Go get behind the wheel.
Take her for a spin.
I'll make you a great deal.

There is no rust on her.
Not even a scratch.
Doesn't she just purr?
You two are a perfect match.

That color is you.
It matches your eyes.
You are one from two.
I tell you no lies.

That is the price.
The one that is stated.
No need to roll the dice.
You two are fated.

Come to my office.
It's right back here.
Let's keep others off us.
Close the door to all near.

Now here's the nitty gritty.
It's just a bit of fine print.
You'll love this in the city.
It's windows have a tint.

Sign here, here and here.
And here, use my pen.
You have nothing to fear.
No, this isn't in Yen.

This is the final price.
You got warranty and stuff.
I was being so nice,
I gave her plenty of fluff.

She's all yours now.
Enjoy her and the toys.
Hey, don't have a cow.
The other fees are background noise.

Sounds like marriage a bit except you can't swap spit. Ever get a good deal? Have you spun the wheel? Surely get screwed in the end. That is the car buying trend. Ever met a good car salesperson at your sea? One that wasn't out to get thee? May be one or two in the mass. Although there are still doubts from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

A Surprise For You...Maybe Two!

The cat wants to surprise all. I can do it at my hall. It is as easy as can be. One sure did it near me. The surprise was so grand. I have to give them a hand.

Surprises for you.
Surprises for me.
There are a few,
That come to be.

Boy, how times flies,
When you get a surprise.
You open your eyes.

Working each day.
Time never flies.
Go to get your pay.
Payroll error....surprise?

Go for a drive.
The sun's in your eyes.
You get out alive.
Car totaled...surprise?

You write a book.
Gets many cheery cries.
Computer dies at your nook.
Book lost....surprise?

Your neighbor is new.
He wears no disguise.
Eyes peeping on you.
His naked....surprise?

You visit the cat.
Finding me wise.
I chew the fat.
Nonsense given....surprise?

You had dinner.
Followed by pies
A sure fire winner.
Food poisoning...surprise?

You see a light.
Then big old eyes.
This can't be right.
You're dead....surprise?

Surprises are sought.
Surprises are great.
On second thought,
They may be second rate.

Don't you want to be surprised like that? Were you surprised over a rhyme from the cat? Not one bit? Damn, I need to find some surprising shit. I'll leave a hairball on your floor. You'll be surprised when you step in that at your shore. Surprisingly I gave sass. I'm such a surprising little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Round Fifty Five Takes A Dive!

The nuts are still here giving a cheer. Or maybe it's a crazy squawk. It wouldn't surprise me with the way they talk. Would it surprise you? Yeah, I doubt it at my zoo.


Umm okay. Who searches just that and finds my bay?

rat sex

Mary Kirkland fans are back. Hmm, maybe it was her at her shack?

gigantic anime tit squeezing

Is animated all you can muster? Damn, that has to lose it's luster.

Cassie crow feathers

Cassie ate a crow? That I didn't know.

My way home today

How do I know? Don't run over a toe.

Meowwwww tweetie

Wrong thing. Need a tweet fling.

Animals rights right

So no left ones? That could give some the runs.

Anti PC rants

The Blue Guy has a few. I'm sure I do too.

My home burnt my chair

Now that takes skill. Haunted house on a hill?

Profanity Granny Swearing

I think the first word covers that. No need to get redundant where you're at.

Dark green eyes are on me

Did they pop out and make you shout?

My nanny wore at me

I sense a theme. Maybe it's a dream.

Nanny swearing at kid

Nope, not a dream. Guess he/she got no ice cream.

Make diddle in hay

Could get itchy. May end up twitchy.

And the winner this time has a fun chime. Fun for them maybe. I don't even want to wonder what they did see. At least zombie feet is about the worst here. This could bring some fear.

Super Glue Closed My Ass 

A little experimenting at their sea? Damn, now that is as weird as can be. Who would even attempt that? Think it was lube where they were at? That has been done. The Redneck gave that a run. And so ends this search engine pass of the nuts that find my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 20, 2017

A Classic Case To Embrace!

The cat sees this word thrown around a lot. I guess there is some kind of plot? Does it just one day go poof? Maybe it wants to stop being aloof? Beats me but we shall see.

That was great.
Such a fun fate.
I watched it today.
A classic I say.

I read that too.
A classic came due.
I played that one.
Classic by a ton.

Classic = enduring interest.
Is that the best?
Weekend at Bernies has been called it.
Is there enduring interest for that not so much a hit?

Just an example thrown.
Maybe it's the tone.
So 80's at play.
Classic compared to today.

Would this be a classic post?
It's what you expect from the host.
Disney seems to have a ton.
Disney classics given a run.

Maybe it's age.
Turn the page.
Classic at play.
Just not today.

Tomorrow though.
Classic will show.
It's here to stay.
Switch it the next day.

A classic response.
From the renaissance?
Wowweee, classic right there.
Whoops, was said with years to spare.

So classic though.
That you must know.
Like that park that's Jurassic.
That is oh so classic.

Maybe that's it.
Spawns a sequel fit.
Weekend at Bernies 2 came due.
That must be how a classic pulls through.

Did we seed anything? Any idea at your wing? When does something become classic? Between now and the time of Jurassic? That is a lot of ground to cover. I hope you are a history lover. If you find out tell Cass. She'll relay it to my not so classic little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Invaders At Play Here Today!

Cassie and I were doing our thing, meaning we were resting at our wing. Then they came. It was like some game. They hopped on in. The invasion didn't make us grin.

See? I was resting away.
Enjoying the day.
An ass pillow rest.
Then came the first pest.

Cassie likes him.
She must be dim.
We can't have that.
So says the cat.

He's just rude.
He's not getting my food.
I'll eat every bite.
I'm ready for a fight.

My cat tower too.
No sharing at our zoo.
Wait, what was that?
A bald cat?

Invader number two.
A mutt that is eww.
Stole my ass pillow as well.
This day went to hell.

Trying to claim it.
Can't have that shit.
I'll go bite his tail.
He ran away with a wail.

What has Cassie spotted?
A new foe has been plotted?
She sure wants him.
I think a visit would be grim.

Did you spot number three?
Now he's easy to see.
A visit from him would be fine.
 He'd be a chew toy for the feline.

Could be worse.
Could be this curse.
We keep her away.
We never want to play.

Now excuse the cat.
I'll go back to watching that.
Pat really needs to shut the door.
That will stop intruders forevermore.

Don't you love intruders when they come? Do you kick them out on their bum? That would be nice to do. But we may need opposable thumbs at our zoo. Instead I'll just give them a whack. That will keep them out of my shack. Now I'll go back to squirrel watching with Cass. He won't steal the pillow of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

A Little Tire On The Wire!

The cat has seen it in a comment or ten here at our den. It was admitted too. So they weren't fast readers or confused at my zoo. What is it? I'll say before you get tired and hiss and spit.

Snacking on kids?
That will flip some lids.
Whoops, it was a hen.
I won't report your den.

You peed on Santa Claus?
That sure won't get an applause.
Oh, you watched him pee.
Hmmm that is still a creepy spree.

Dancing in the nude?
That may be rude.
Oh, under a full moon.
And even with a spoon.

You chewed off human fat?
How did you do that?
Oh, the phrase for talking.
I guess I'll go walking.

You bought a girlfriend?
That you may need to amend.
You bought something for her?
Damn, my eyes are beginning to blur.

You are a rhyming dog?
That is a new log.
Oh, you are making fun.
I am now almost done.

You fought the law?
Hit them with a claw?
Oh, you got out of a ticket.
No guns to make any picket.

You are going on vacation?
That brings elation.
You were lying?
Why am I even trying?

You....I'm so screwed.
Can't take it, dude.
I have to get some sleep.
I'm seeing things at my keep.

Tired as can be.
Good night to thee.
You are wishing to be in my bed?
Whoops, that was just in my head.

Ever read things when half asleep and screw them up at your keep? The cat may have done it a time or two but I usually catch myself at my zoo. Then again who needs sleep? Just give a meep meep. Then you'll say nothing wrong, funny or crass. You can trust, probably not, my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 17, 2017

A Full Cart Of Smart!

The cat is good at this and that. Or would it be that and this for the cat? Beats the heck out of me. But there are sure some things you'll never see me good at at my sea.

I'm so great.
A common trait.
A human one.
Always spun.

I can do this.
Ego can't miss.
I can do that.
So full of scat.

Rocket science it is.
That's my biz.
Can't tie a shoe.
Whoops, boo hoo.

I can build a tower.
Can even fix a shower.
Whoops, can't plant a flower.
Now I'll go and cower.

I can write a book.
So great at my nook.
Whoops, I can't get the ball in the hoop.
I was thrown for a loop.

I can sell a car.
I can go far.
Whoops, can't sell clothes.
Damn, that curls my toes.

I can cure your ails.
Maybe pound some nails.
Whoops, can't play cards.
Have trouble mowing yards.

I can fly a plane.
Landing in the right lane.
Whoops, can't drive a train.
That leaves me with a pain.

I can go to space.
Puts a smile on my face.
Whoops, can't public speak.
Now I'm up shit creek.

I can write a blog.
Don't get brain fog.
Whoops, can't draw a lick.
Unless it involves a stick.

Don't you love those humans that think they are great at all? Just because they can do one thing they can do them all at their hall. Now you can get better and learn. But there will always be something that makes you feel the burn. I can't sing like that singing bass. There, I admitted it with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Some Strange Fun For Everyone!

Fun sure is subjective to the human race. Not sure any of the below I could ever embrace. Hell, I know I would not. No fun in any below plot.

Let's have fun.
Let's go to town.
You will stun.
Wear a fancy gown.

Fun doing what?
That's not hard.
We'll sleep in a hut,
On the ground in the yard.

We'll bet and lose money.
That's so much fun.
The bookee finds it funny,
Fun with each lose spun.

We can go and run.
Yeah, just run down the street.
That is so much fun.
So hard to beat.

Let's stand outside and smoke.
That is so great.
Can freeze with each toke.
So fun none can relate.

Time to whine about whatever.
Let's do it on the internet.
Such a fun endeavor.
Over everything we can fret.

Time to get on YouTube.
Not that way.
We need some lube.
Sex tape of the day.

Let's start the rumor mill.
We can make crap up about someone.
That ought to give us a thrill.
Who cares if they don't find it fun.

Let's sit in a tree.
Hold your pee.
Shoot what's in front of thee.
Head on a wall, yippeee.

Speaking of which,
This is just nasty as can be.
Some brain dead idiot must have a glitch,
For let's have fun by hiring people to stand over us and pee.

The cat will stick to having fun with a toy. Do any of the above bring you joy? Hopefully not the pee one. That is soooooo nasty by a ton. But to each their own. Rather eat a dog bone. More fun to pass some gas out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

The Tale Of The Scale!

You humans sure like your numbers. Even count your cucumbers. Hey, I'm sure some do. The only thing the cat counts is toys at our zoo. Pat likes to count dough, but you need that though.

No need to wait.
Not a weight trait.
So ignore that scale.
Don't hit the trail.

Goes to 10.
Women and men.
No more, no less.
An 11 you confess?

Pffft get out of here.
Don't show that tear.
It stops at ten.
Go bug a hen.

You got it now?
You caught on, wow!
Let's get to it.
Have to gauge your fit.

How is your fit?
Taking crap or shit?
On a scale of one to ten.
You can use a pen.

How is your brain?
Does this cause pain?
On a scale of one to ten.
Sorry, we don't take Yen.

How is you attention?
Is it in detention?
On a scale of one to ten.
Can you survive under a dumpster like Glenn?

It is a four?
Why not a three tour?
What's the difference between?
What? A six you mean?

A one means none.
A ten means a ton.
A nine a smidgen less?
This could be a mess.

Did you like this post?
Rate it at my coast?
On a scale of one to ten.
Now I'll go sleep in the den.

Don't you love those that blurt out 3? I mean really a 3 can come to be? Why not 3 and a tiny bit? Sure can be a weird 1 to 10 fit. What if each have a different scale? Some do and some don't wail. Geez, I'll have to find out from the singing bass. Of course I'm a 10 little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Kiss And Tell Where You Dwell!

The Wabatat is back. Him and his spit attack. Don't you remember him? He spits on you and you get love on a whim. Yep, it's as easy as that. But let's not re-chew that fat.

Kiss anything.
Have many a fling.
Then go and tell.
Create one big yell.

Take a kiss.
Isn't it bliss.
Say it was musty.
Get hit with something rusty.

Take a kiss.
Back to bliss.
Say she's fat.
You got splat.

Take a kiss.
Something is amiss.
Say it's small.
He'll dash down the hall.

Curl your nose,
Not your toes.
Say there's a smell.
Raise a little hell.

One toe too big.
Dance a jig.
No kiss for you.
Maybe some fat to chew?

Say that's not needed.
Shouldn't be seeded.
Who needs the calories.
May only be able work jobs with small salaries.

Shout bingo.
Add some lingo.
Say you remember their name.
May piss off a dame.

Take the kiss,
But then you miss.
Bad breath you say.
Won't have a nice day.

Kiss and tell.
Raise some hell.
The day will see red.
Could end up on your death bed.

You humans should not kiss and tell. Isn't wabatat spit more swell? Some should know to keep their yap shut or they'll get snip snipped like a mutt. But then it can be fun to watch all run when a little telling is done. Do you kiss and tell where you dwell? A different kind of red may come in mass. Not one wanted anywhere near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 13, 2017

A Share With Care!

The cat just has to get this news out. It could help all that is about. I know I've shown one before. But this is sure one that beats everything at any shore. You need it now. It can really wow.

Friepitix is the name.
Saving lives is the game.
At least the game we tell.
But what the hell.

It cures the common cold.
Yep, a cure takes hold.
Friepitix does the trick.
Cures those sniffles some slick.

Friepitix is the future of pills.
So shell out those bills.
That is all I have to say.
Have a nice day.

May cause severe bleeding.
Don't take if breast feeding.
May cause heart attack or stroke.
Don't give to a high risk bloke.

May cause you to go blind.
May cause bleeding out your behind.
May cause your hair to thin.
In some cases baldness was given a spin.

May cause ear aches.
May give you the shakes.
May cause numbness in limbs.
At least during testing prelims.

May cause a migraine.
May cause other body pain.
May cause brain cell death.
May leave you with shortness of breath.

May cause blood clots.
May cause your body to hurt lots.
May cause bloating.
Also worth noting:

In some rare cases,
Rare as in only 1 in 50 faces,
Cancer of any part of the body may occur.
P.S. your words may also slur.

Should any of these symptoms show,
Take a few more pills to know.
No need to stop right away.
But seek a doctor some fine day.

Don't you want your bottle of Friepitix now? It can really wow. Just ignore that fine print. It is nothing but the likes of window tint. It is just there. Don't let it scare. For 1008 bucks a pill you can cure a cold that's run of the mill. In rare cases you may cause more severe stuff to occur. But don't let that ruffle your fur. We've got pills for that too. Got you covered every which way at your zoo. So trust me like you would a singing bass. Or maybe just blow your nose away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

The Con Is Sure On!

Do you think the cat would con you? Nah, I've got better things to do. But then again you may get conned in the end. This is quite the con trend.

Con is on.
Used as a pawn.
Con Artist need not.
Con has a plot.

Contest is here.
Conned I fear.
Con vexed a bit?
How about that shit?

Convincing I must do?
Well who knew?
Conveying I must go.
On with the show.

Convict you won't.
Con I don't.
Consist of bad grammar.
But you won't stammer.

Console a Grammar Nazi.
Wouldn't that be fun to see?
Converse with one though,
And you may get a language blow.

Context of this?
Did that you miss?
Concoct a simple plan.
Soon you'll be a fan.

Conceit in my words?
Tell it to the birds.
Continue can I?
That was a good try.

Consult a psychic pal.
Or maybe ask HAL.
Conspire and you'll fry.
That is no lie.

Constant you must be,
Or a con may find thee.
Confirm that to be true.
I double dare you.

Contain yourself, will you?
I have other things to do.
Conquest is now complete.
Isn't going all con neat?

I'd be here all day conning you at my bay. Con sure gets thrown around a lot. Think language is conning a connect the dot? Notice con words a plenty? There are way more than twenty. I'm all conned out now. I'm sure you'll get over that some how. How does it feel to be conned in mass? I'm just a conning little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

A Schedule Rut At Your Hut?

The cat sees many not able to do this. Does it not cause bliss? Even a cat can change about should something sprout. So that is sad. Some humans must be a bit mad.

I'm all done.
Time for fun.
My schedule is complete.
Isn't that neat?

What was that?
It fell flat?
Damn, no way.
Can't change my day.

Not one bit.
Can't change it.
Nope, not coming due.
Go now, shoo!

You change yours.
I've got chores.
I can't change it.
Look, I'm having a fit.

My schedule is clear.
I don't want you near.
You'll ruin it.
Can't have that shit.

You have a schedule too?
Well, whoopdi friggin doo.
Mine is the best.
It passes any test.

I won't change.
I won't rearrange.
But you can though.
Just so you know.

I may have a heart attack.
Change causes too much flack.
I have to do this, this and this.
I just can't miss.

No changes can come to pass.
Don't be an ass.
I can't change a thing.
Talk to me next spring.

I'll fit you in then.
Maybe around ten.
It's a date.
Enjoy the wait.

Are you one who needs a schedule that's set? Can't fit in even the meow of a pet? No change allowed? Would you rant and draw a crowd? That would be scary. Changing a schedule can make some hairy. The cat can change if need be. As things will happen at ones sea. Later you can always mow the grass. You can trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 10, 2017

A Little Log Of Real And Blog!

The cat has noticed a thing or three. As I do at my sea. I'm sure you do as well. Not hard when in blogland you dwell. Unless you dwell in the dark side of blogging. Then you can enjoy your umm flogging?

Blog of this.
Blog of that.
No kind of kiss,
Toward things like scat.

Life going out.
Life going in.
What's that about?
How do I win?

Need a task?
Just let it fly.
With a little ask,
Bloggers give it a try.

Need a task?
Run far away.
On comes the mask,
What's in it for my bay?

Need a hand?
Settle in.
Ask blogland,
They give it a spin.

Need a hand?
Hide your two.
Bury them in sand,
As a chopping may come due.

Not even a need.
Just something there.
Helped at a blog feed,
No ask to spare.

Not even a need.
Wave bye bye.
Walk away at top speed,
Like they can fly.

Together they pull.
Together they try.
Not dealing with bull,
Reaching for the sky.

Together they flock,
A whole other way.
At best they balk,
With a face as if they have an egg to lay.

Bloggers will sure do a lot with ease, just ask and away they breeze. Real life people can be more tricky. Many a time they seem to think the what's in it for me dohickey. Ever notice that? Or is it just the cat? Not that I bother much, but bloggers are much nicer by a touch. Let's ignore the scary and poor pitiful me blog class. They don't count for this post from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Not Tagged But Flagged!

You can't say much now a days or you'll get looked at with a hateful gaze. Not that the cat cares. I'll take all the evil stares. Then just smirk away and go about my day.

You did what?
Kiss my butt.
You said what?
Are you a nut?

You've been flagged.
That post lagged.
Flagged for it.
Every little bit.

Person was said.
You should drop dead.
"son" is all male.
That is such a fail.

Crazy was used.
I'm not amused.
You are insulting the mentally ill.
You are so run of the mill.

Flagged, flagged, flagged.
You'll never get shagged.
Not with your evil ways.
You are lost in some hateful maze.

You made fun of an elf.
You made fun of yourself.
Degrading little people everywhere.
Showing for yourself you don't even care.

You rolled your eyes.
That is not wise.
I'm offended by that.
Flagged you where you're at.

Now you'll get banned.
I hope you get canned.
How can you say such stuff?
Per"son" is so manly tough.

Equal it should be.
Say people at your sea.
You got flagged for that.
I flagged you where I'm at.

But don't use "you people."
I'll throw you from a steeple.
After of course you get flagged.
I can't believe you bragged.

Ever get threatened by a nut saying they will flag you for some stupid thing at your hut? I just saw a comment on some blog as I was hopping and they gave the flagged dropping. So I went with it. In blogger can you even do that flagging shit? Such people are nuts, crazy, bonkers, whatever in mass. I guess I just offended a whole bunch of cashews, peanuts, etc. with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Neighbor Nut In A Rut!

The cat is glad we got out of that last place. It was becoming a crowded space. Not really crowded for me. But annoying as can be. A bum moved in. That is a sin.

Hey neighbor, how are you?
A greeting to come due.
A grunt they got.
The feeling we caught.

Do you have this?
It must cause bliss.
Can I borrow it?
Soon took the hit.

Pat said no,
And away he did go.
No to the do we have it.
Ended that asking fit.

But then you'd hear,
Just perk up an ear,
Hey neighbor, how are you?
And the same shit came due.

Bugged one and all,
Out in the hall.
If he heard them coming,
That same crap he kept humming.

Yep, he'd open his door.
Couldn't sneak by at your shore.
Like he was staring out the peep hole.
Maybe a peeper is his goal?

Peeper in training.
A bummer who's draining?
Draining all of their stuff.
Never getting enough.

A pack rat maybe?
Hoarding others stuff with glee.
Beats the heck out of me.
Never got a thing from our sea.

Can we have that back,
Heard at my shack.
Some fools gave in.
He must have thought that a win.

No! I'm not done.
I'm still having fun.
I'll get it back soon.
Yeah, and I'm a raccoon.

Ever have neighbors like that? Get suckered in where you're at? Some people are just annoying as can be. Scam artist wannabes that make me flee. Neither a borrower or a lender be. That works for our sea. Especially with idiots like that. They can be peed on by the cat. On neighbors we'll take a pass. They can stay far far away from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Any Time, Any Where At Your Lair!

The cat is here all the time. I have a daily chime. So should I say you can read it anytime, anywhere? Hmm, not unless I want to lie at my lair.

Anytime, anywhere.
That doesn't get a care.
No one gives it a second thought.
Except we see through its plot.

Watch, read, play.
All use it on display.
Commercials or ads.
Fun things or fads.

It's used a ton.
But they jumped the gun.
How is that?
Follow the cat.

You're in Timbuktu.
Try to read my zoo.
Whoops, no good.
Need a new hood.

You're out to sea.
You try to read me.
Whoops, not a chance.
Can't even get a glance.

You're high on a mountain top.
You want to leave a comment drop.
Whoops, no connection near,
As you freeze off your rear.

You're in outer space.
A new rhyme you want to embrace.
Whoops, NASA says Hell no.
You miss out at your show.

You're in a deep dark hole.
Criminal deeds were your goal.
But you still want a rhyme.
Whoops, you did the crime.

You have no dough.
No internet in tow.
Whoops, no can do.
But that you knew.

Anywhere, anytime.
A lying chime.
Has been proved.
Weren't you moved?

Moved to think there at your rink? Can't believe all. The cat proved it at his hall. Anywhere, anytime I'll rant away. Unless my tongue got chopped out at my bay and there was no computer on display. Then be screwed with my say. See? Anywhere, anytime is a lie. Proved by this rhyming guy. Now I'm done with my proof pass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 6, 2017

A Not So Universal Fate Comes To Make Eight!

The cat doesn't get to rhyme once more. That is so mean at our shore. But Pat does get to release a new book. So we will go with it at our nook.

In A Not So Universal World, Book 8 in the series, Jeremiah and Trudy have finally made it to Olympus to save their son. After saving Earth's time fraction and destroying the Freton all they want now is to get Trent home and relax. But Crackle has other plans for them. Drazin seems to have plans of his own. A mysterious old man going by Chappy has plans set in motion. Even Zeus and Tripit become involved. What they thought was a straight forward task turns into their most dangerous adventure yet.

The pair quickly learn that the quest to save Trent proves to be more than they could have ever imagined. Traversing through time, other universes, parallel planets, fake worlds and even old age, Jeremiah and Trudy are left with only one option. They must fight once again to save those they love and themselves. Grudges come to light, true friends and enemies take form and more questions arise as to the true purpose of Olympus. All while Jeremiah and Trudy fight ever closer to finally saving their son.

And that makes eight in that series done. Only four more to be spun. Then the 12 set out from the start will come due. Will sure get there with all in view. Until nine here is eight. A fine non rhyming fate. 9 will bring together the entire character mass. That will sure be quite the pass for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Length And Time For A Chime!

A bit slow are you? Well many humans seem to be at their zoo. But that you knew. The cat just can't help telling you. What one is it today? I don't have any length of time to have my say.

Whoops, I was wrong.
I can sing a cheery song.
Those blue guys can join in.
Those movies were a sin.

Fall for the trap,
With the DK rap.
Maybe talk to inka dinka do.
But that few knew.

Have I proven it?
Yep, just a bit.
Proved also I'm full of it?
Yeah, I have such wit.

You can't hold it?
You're having a fit?
Not for any length of time?
Damn, ruined that chime.

You can't stand them?
You are spitting up phlegm.
You hate them that bad?
Not for any length of time at your pad?

You can't write?
Not day or night?
Not for any length of time?
Damn, by typing it you ruined the chime.

You can't exercise?
Is that wise?
Not for any length of time?
So you move less than a mime?

You can't talk?
Not even as you walk?
Not for any length of time?
Whoops, you said that chime.

You can't understand?
Damning my confusing land?
That will amuse.
I like to confuse.

For any length of time.
I'm in my prime.
At least for a time.
Now go kiss a mime.

How long did it take? Figure out the point I was trying to make? No? You failed? Damn, I bet it was nailed. You just have to take the time. Okay, I'll drop a dime. Even a millisecond counts as time, so you can't even fool a mime. The any length of time excuse doesn't fit. Maybe you can't do things for long before you take a hit. But you can do most things for some length of time. Even if you are a mime. I'll stop picking on humans and the mime mass. They may send killer mimes after my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Can I Irritate On This Date?

The cat can irritate with ease. It really is a breeze. Maybe it is a skill? No way will I chill. If I want that lap. You are going to give it to me and let me take a nap. I'll bug until you do. Better go before I irritate you.

Time to irritate.
Might lose a mate.
Might lose an eye.
All depends on the girl or guy.

But is it bad,
Or rather sad?
This you don't see.
Irritation is free.

Free to you.
Free to come due.
Free to list.
Free to be missed.

What's with free?
Have I lost thee?
Confused and abused.
You know I'm amused.

But stay whelmed.
My point will be helmed.
As in ready to show,
As away we go.

Irritation is free,
Like a repeat spree.
I said it again.
Irritating at my den?

Irritation is free.
Irritation is free.
Irritation is free.
Rolling eyes at me?

Who got irritated?
Who was just baited?
It wasn't little old me.
It was thee for free.

Starving and broke.
No irritation for that bloke.
Busy with health.
Irritation has no wealth.

It holds nothing at all,
To many a hall.
Why? Because it has a cost.
The free is then totally lost.

Did you follow the cat? Got it good where you are at. If you can afford to be irritated at your sea then you are in the irritation for free. If you can't afford irritation because your time has much more important a delegation, like finding food or dough, then it is a costly show. Are you irritated that I showed you your irritations are pointless as can be? Especially sense they are free. Free to have and free to lose. You are the one that lights that fuse. Now I am done with my eye opening pass. I'll go back to being an irritating little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Cue The Song And Sing Along!

The cat needs to up life. We don't need any strife. Well we will get it. But it too can be a hit. We just need to make life like TV and cue a song for thee.

Driving along,
Singing a song.
Away you go.
That you know.

What happens later?
Like falling in a crater?
Because I got High,
Plays from the sky.

Meteors strike.
That no one will like.
Great Balls of Fire.
It plays as things get dire.

You stub your toe.
The tears do flow.
You and Me plays.
You and your toe get a starry eyed daze.

You get dumped.
Never get humped.
Hit The Road Jack.
Humping you lack.

Things go wrong.
Worse and worse before long.
You even hit a moose.
Highway to Hell let's loose.

You get humped.
Things are bumped.
Nothing is wrong.
Shook Me All Night Long.

The moon makes you wacko.
You can't blame umm Jacko.
Bad Moon Rising chimes in.
You go for a nutty spin.

Things look bleak.
You're up the creek.
You need to be cheery.
Hakuna Matata ends that theory.

You are now cheery.
Nothing about it is eerie.
Who needs any talkin.
You Can't Stop Rockin.

The cat could go on all day. Wouldn't you love tunes to chime in each day? They'd always fit the moment at hand. You'd be right in TV land. Unless maybe if the wheels on the bus chimed in. That may not be a win. Plus they could block out any unwanted sass. Annoying songs would probably play around my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

A New Loving Mate To Lovingly Date!

You know the cat has to. I have to help at my zoo. I want you all to have love. So I'll give you many choices from above. You'll want every single one. I just know it with today's run.

Looking for the one to grow old
Sorry, no life insurance pay out will take hold.
I love to spend time washer, fishing, hiking...
Is washer some kinky thing to your liking?

Courtney girl
So you give two country names a whirl?
I love everything about the woods
Even bear poop or scary banjo playing hoods?

I don't have anything to say here
My, won't you get many a peer.
I'm very down in earth.
Journey to the center of worth?

Major unsolved date.
So you are a mystery mate?
Business as usual down here
Do I even want to come near?

I'm in your area so gie me call
Nah, go back to your Facebook wall.
Sweep me off my hands.
You have a thing for hand stands?

Let's sea how it goes.
Nah, no sinking woes.
I like long walks on short beaches.
Hmmm, maybe your math skill reaches?

If I like you...can I keep you?
No Misery wannabes allowed at my zoo.
Looking for someone with a gambling problem like me.
Now that is a great first line for any to see.

Be my good boy
Get a job for that joy.
Why can't this be quick and easy?
Isn't that not so umm pleasy?

Like being outside garding
Do you have a gift for carding?
I'm trying this seen for a change.
You still may need a little rearrange.

I want failure of the heart.
Damn, maybe you need to fart?
I have no body to call my own.
So you are a robot that leaves a message at the tone?

Don't say the cat never helped you out. Now you can have some love about. Don't you want to grab one today? They sure sound so great with their say. Yeah, you may be better off with a blow up mate. At least they'd be a cheap date. The cat is through with his dating sass. They are just scary to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

A Little Test To Rid The Guest!

 Time for a test.
Try your best.
Do not fail,
Or you may wail.

Whoops, I mean nope.
You will cope.
Easy as can be.
I'm testing thee.

You didn't wail?
That's not a fail.
So you passed.
You didn't get gassed.

Copped you did.
No flipping a lid.
Flipping a bird?
That's absurd.

Or is it?
Who needs that shit.
You flipped it the bird.
Two for two is the word.

I'll have to try,
For an oh me oh my.
How is that?
Who gives a scat.

Yeah, who cares.
Get some stares.
Walk away and wave.
Brave or grave?

The wave was cocky?
The grave was rocky?
The wave wins?
Fill your tins.

Now bury the tin.
You get another win.
Tossed it aside.
3 for 3 with pride.

You passed the test.
Aren't you the best.
You can now rest.
Freeing yourself of that insecure pest.

Can sure spin it around when insecurity is found. Wait, did you go all grave? You have an insecurity that is a fav? Damn, you failed the test? Pffft don't give in to that pest. Flip it the bird and don't give it a word. The cat will give all a pass. You wouldn't want to be failed and gassed by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.