Thursday, May 25, 2017

Purr Empire Part Three With A Voodoo Spree!

     We stared at the house like it was a giant talking mouse. At least we had not seen one of those yet. That would disturb this pet. Plus Disney may try and sue. But hey, we have to tell the story that is true.
     "Drazin thinks it is a good idea to get out of here."
     "I'm with the godly mook." Cassie hissed as the door creaked. Then out came one who squeaked. Her voice had such a high pitch that we instantly knew she was some sort of witch. Turns out we were instantly wrong. She was just another ding dong.
     "Are you my shampoo carrier? Have you brought me my shampoo?" Blabber asked fifty times over. It could have been forty eight times but I lost interest like some rover. How could I not? She squeaked and she looked like some Tarsier Man clone or robot.
     "Is that who Drazin thinks it is?"
     "Thy demon. It is the mouthy, whiny one. But what kind of spell has come upon her?"
     We all jumped back as she took of her head. It turns out the tarsier was rather dead. In this case it was just a suit. She was wearing a furry outfit of one she thought was cute.
     "How dare you say I'm whiny. I just want my shampoo. Did you bring my shampoo? Two kinds I asked for. My hair is so..."
     "And thou says thou aren't whiny." Pat rolled his eyes as Blabber put back on her disguise.
     "Here they come. They are out there watching. Those animals that want to put talking fleas on my knees. I'd rather be peed on." Blabber ran inside and left the door open wide.
     "I think she's more strung out than ever before," Cassie whispered, as we peeked through the door.
     "Drazin can't deal with this nut again. Drazin so hoped she was gone forever. What next? Those annoying beer guys?" Drazin grumbled as I kicked the door shut. I have some power in the hind legs of my little rhyming butt.
     "Now we're safe from prying eyes. Time I took off my disguise." Blabber yanked her furry tarsier suit off and then she began to cackle and cough. She then ripped off her actual skin and did some kind of tornado spin. She revealed herself to be a giant rat. Not sure what Disney will think of that. But she was no friend of the cat. Who can like a giant blabber mouth rat?
     "You've fallen for my trick. I am some slick. You may have made it through my backwards spell but now I will trap you here forever where I dwell."
     "So she really is a witch? Isn't that a..."
     "Quiet, feline. You shall not be fine. I will put a spell on you after I deal with the human two."
     "Drazin doesn't have time for this. The Great God Drazin will handle this stupid witch. Drazin has had enough of witches and blabber mouth, whiny humans and talking fleabags." Drazin marched up to her and tried to ruffle her fur. But that did not end well as she sang her merry spell.
     "Not this bad musical crap again." Pat tried to run away but he fell to his knees as she had her say.
     "Humans are gross, disgusting and mean. They are just so unclean. So with a little bit of magic I will make their life less tragic. A little human toe nail in my pot. Some human spit to add to the plot. Stir it up all nice and neat then these humans will make a tasty treat. I'll boil and cook and roast them tender. I'll even put the extra bits in a blender. You can't waste good human food. That would not be a good attitude. I remain merry with a twinkle in my eye, knowing you humans are sure to die." Blabber hummed and sang her tune on repeat. Her voice was anything but sweet. She was too busy focusing on Drazin and Pat, finding no threat in a cat. That was her mistake. One we are glad she decided to make.
     "That screechy voice is too much." Cassie uncovered her ears and slunk around the shack. She climbed up the potion shelf and gave things a whack. One by one they fell into her pot. The thing began to smell like something had started to rot.
     "What have you done? Are you trying to ruin my fun? This was to be an excellent meal. Now I'll have to eat them raw and give their skin a peel. That is so wasteful to do. But if I must, I must because of you." Blabber ignored Cassie and I still. She must have hit her head falling down a hill. All she could focus on was eating Drazin and Pat. I was having none of that.
     "Hey there, witch. I hate your high pitch. I am going to make you twitch and leave you to die in a ditch." Blabber eyeballed me and I took away her glee. She reached her hands out to grab my neck but that was a failed trek. I ran to the other side of the pot and thanks to Cassie it was jiggling a lot. I gave the thing a nudge at Blabber and she wailed like some giant cat did grab her.
     "My great meal is going to waste. I am turning to paste. This can't be true. Now I need a lot of shampoo."
     "Drazin never wished Drazin was deaf until now." Drazin caught sight of Blabber melting into a pile of goo. He was offended by that too. "And now Drazin wishes Drazin was blind and had no sense of smell. She stinks."
     "She looks like that goop from Ghostbusters 2." Pat covered his nose. All any of us wanted to do was suck up her nasty goo with a vacuum hose.
     "Do you think she was really that whiny human from Gawker Island?" Cassie asked, wondering if Blabber had truly be unmasked.
     "Drazin isn't that lucky. Probably just some voodoo this rat cooked up. Drazin can't believe Drazin is saying such things."
     "Oh, but talking in the third person and saying you're a god every ten seconds, is okay? What a godly mook." Cassie trotted away after having her say.
     "Let's get out of here before I puke and add to her goop." Pat was looking kind of green and so we left that scene. I guess Blabber goo makes him sane because for now he had gotten off the crazy train.
     "I think here is getting out of here before my rhyming rear." My voice shook along with the shack. It felt like we were under an earthquake attack.
     "Great job, fleabag. You kill the yappy witch and now we are going to get sucked into some black hole." Drazin kept complaining as he yanked at the door. The thing would not open to let us explore.
     "Would you rather have been eaten but a giant rat?" Cassie sighed and then covered her eyes as a blinding light circled us like a horde of fireflies.
     And just like that the shack vanished into thin air, taking the Blabber goo to who knows where. Sadly, the ground and lawn and everything went along. I think we were better off listening to her song.
     "What is going on? Are we in some road runner cartoon?"
     We all shared Pat's thought as we floated in the air like some hovering robot. Except we could not move one bit. Our lips could flap and that was it.
     "Godly mook, what did you do now?"
     "Shut up, fleabag. You're the one that threw all that voodoo into the pot."
     "Thy demon shall pay for sure treachery." Pat glared at Drazin without blinking. His crazy voices were once again back to thinking.Yeah, our eyes could not blink one bit. We could not even swallow our spit.
     "So we are stuck like a broken down truck?" I could do nothing else but speak. I could not even take a leak. This was so weird to experience after that glow. I am sure you get that by now though.
     "Fleabag, you moved." Drazin pointed that out to me and that caused me glee. "How did he do that?"
     "Easy as one, two, three. Just follow along with me. A rhyme is all it takes and then you get the shakes." I grinned but that was quickly lost. For into the big hole beneath us I was tossed.
     "I am going to regret this. Holes have given us no bliss. Probably creek full of crap down there because we never catch a break when away from our lair." Cassie sighed and fell into the hole below, knowing we would find a new foe.
     "Drazin hates this rhyming stuff. Of this place Drazin has had enough. Drazin will kill every last critter. This world has made Drazin even more bitter." Drazin's eyes glowed and he fell. He was ticked off, you could just tell.
     "If I fall in poo, I'm going to track down that Blabber goo. Then I'm going to send it to space. That will put on smile on my face." Pat fell down after us all and once again we continued to fall.
     Holes in the ground are becoming our thing. If only we would find some bling. Buried treasure is supposed to be buried after all. But all we find is stuff worse than what you would see in a public bathroom stall. We shall find out what comes to be when we stop falling endlessly.

************************

Wow, Blabber got turned to goo and smelled worse than poo. At least she still cared about her shampoo. Was that the real her at this strange zoo? Who knows with all this world hopping stuff. Keeping up with it can be rough. At least she got to sing a little ditty even with a voice one would pity. Now part three has come to pass from my ever so crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A Little Deter If You Ruffle Fur!

People sure can kick up a stink. You humans do it with a wink. I'm not talking about gas. That can easily pass. May flare up a nostril or two. But that shall pass too. Right. On with it. No need to hiss and spit.

Look at you.
You have a new view.
A different way of thinking.
Did I just see blinking?

Not the good kind.
More like the, "are you out of your mind?"
Yep, I saw that indeed.
More are even following the lead.

Got a new idea that may work.
Now that could be a perk.
Could give you lots of fun.
It may or may not be done.

But whoops, there it is.
The crazy look biz.
You are just plain nuts.
No, you don't have guts.

Sit back and relax.
Work and pay tax.
Don't be crazy with any of that.
You may just end up with scat.

I mean it may be a good notion.
It may even cause a commotion.
But it probably won't do a thing.
So go have the same old fling.

You can't afford to waste time.
You won't always be in your prime.
Get a 9-5 and work it.
Then do the same old shit.

I don't mean to offend.
But you can't buck the trend.
That just isn't the way to be happy.
You'll end up always sappy.

Wait until you retire.
Then the idea you can admire.
You may very while expire,
But there will be no walking on a wire.

That is a neat idea though.
I just wanted you to know.
You are better off listening to me.
Nix any such notions and just let it be.

Hmm, just proves better off keeping new ideas to yourself. Don't want chicken shit humans putting them back on the shelf. Or maybe lazy shit ones. Of each there are tons. Ever have an idea crushed by a so called friend? They were though just trying to be helpful in the end. Pffft to such a pass. I'll do what I want with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Round Fifty Eight Is First Rate!

The search engine nuts are back and this time it's all us at our shack. Took a while to save them up to get enough because they usually search weird stuff. But here we are as they search nuts actually look for our sand bar.

It's Rhyme Time

That's the name the holds our fame.

Pat and Adam

It's fact, you're wrong with that act.

patthattbooks

Added an extra t as you searched for me.

patt hatt

The t sure shines through. Hey, why not have two?

pat hatt books

I guess not. A flip flop extra t with the lot.

rhymetime blog

That it is with the blogging biz.

Pat & cat

Times too at our zoo.

Pat hatt cowboys

Really wants Pat to ride a pony. We think that's baloney.

Pat under the sea

They are trying to drown Pat. We can't put up with that.

Pat hatt cat rhyme time blog

Geez, got it all in. Guess you really wanted to find our bin.

Gone away Pat

That is a new one to me. Pat doesn't travel much at our sea.

a rhyming nut

That we are. Beats being on par.

word volcano cat

Hmm okay. I'll erupt each day.

psycic ews cat

Can't spell right. Afraid I'll bite?

And the winner for today I'm sure some could guess at their bay. Not as vile as those of the past. Unless you think they are part of the fetish cast. But we won't care there. They may ask for it to be seen bare.

Cat's Little Rhyming Ass

That works for me. As it is used every day at my sea. And so the laid back search engine nuts have come and gone. They come back at bit at my lawn. Mostly It's Rhyme Time is the one that brings them under our sun. I guess they really like the gas that comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Pegged Them All At The Other Hall!

The cat sought out the weakness of each one as around I did run. I had to stay on top. So I made sure they all were a flop. Not that they could beat me. But finding their weakness causes me glee.


The first up is an easy one.
He gets along with all cats under the sun.
I just pretend to be nice.
Then when he gets close, he pays the price.


Old shifty eyes isn't hard.
 He can't top a rhyming bard.
He's actually just scared of my ass.
Sees it and he runs after my sass.


 Mr. Lie Anywhere is fun.
Fun for me to make him run.
I just jump on him.
His lying soon turns grim.


The counter surfer guy,
Thinks he is rather spry.
I just get there first.
When he jumps up, his bubble does burst.


The old timer has no time for me.
Pat makes sure I leave him be. 
I guess he's too old for my hiss and spit.
Or would that be shit?


She is the opposite of the first.
 For one she may burst.
And secondly she hates every cat.
Sees me and scurries away like a rat.


The fluff ball makes me drool.
That is so not cool.
I get his hair in my yap.
But I drool on him and he's a disgusted chap.


Buck tooth bouncer guy,
Sure is rather spry.
He watches the door for every cat. 
I just walk on past that dingbat.


And then there is prissy.
Thinks she is quite the missy.
I get enough of that with Cass.
So I can just swat this prim and proper lass.


 And lastly another easy one.
He makes noises by the ton.
If I join in with him in the chirping and stuff.
He runs because my vocal chords are rough.

Am I a mean cat? Maybe so at the other mat. But it gives me glee to be a bully to the ones at their other sea. Now that I know each weakness as well. I can raise even more hell. Or if all else fails I just chase them toward the mutt. They hate her as much as us at their hut. Cassie only hisses at one or two. She is no fun just picking on a few. You have to get after the entire mass. Show them that the boss is my cocky little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

All Kinds Of Art Taken To Heart!

Never fear. None of the cat's drawing is near. That would scare many away. Maybe not as much as zombie feet on display. But there is an art at the ready. So art may come steady.

The Art of the Sparkly Fart.
Whoops, a shameless plug to start.
Hey, I'm using the art of selling.
There is no need for yelling.

So I don't need to draw?
Not with paw or claw?
And I get to call it art?
Damn, artistic I can be with any part.

The art of walking.
The art of talking.
The art of nose picking.
The art of finger licking.

Preferably not two in one.
Although that is an art run.
Saw such "art" at a job interview.
A pick and eat came due.

Doesn't that scream work there?
They have art to spare.
So much that they eat it.
Blah, my ocd just had a fit.

But it did it to art.
Would you take part?
The art of blogging.
The art of logging.

One you type.
The other you gripe.
Yeah, screw the physical labor art.
Rather go to Wal-Mart.

Now there is some art.
The art of a person part.
Many show cracks to start.
It then delves deeper into art.

Now I'll demonstrate an art.
The opposite art of start.
The art of the finish.
Such art can't diminish. 

Whoops, I failed.
My art has been jailed.
Still no artistic skill.
Guess my art is set to chill.

Does you art chill out? Do you go all art of the shout? Could be art to anything and everything. Even the art of a fling. Hey, it is still spring. You can go for it at your blog wing. There is also an art to each season. Damn, this art thing works every which way for no reason. I think I'll go leave some art in the grass from my ever so artful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

When It Gets Away Through The Day!

The cat is not sure home time gets away from you. Does the clock just up and run away at your zoo? A Brave Little Toaster wannabe? Careful, may get sued at your sea. But we'll go with it for this rhyming fit.

Day all planned.
Things are manned.
Everything is ready,
Words can flow steady.

Whether book or blog,
Cleaning or walking the dog,
Everything is ready to go.
Whoops, it suffers a blow.

The phones rings.
Can be many things.
Some even bad.
Hopefully not more than a tad.

So you yap away.
Time gone from the day.
Now someone is at the door.
Damn, you missed another chore.

Look! There is breaking news.
Yeah, good for a snooze.
The kid or pet wants to play.
Or maybe makes a mess on display.

Add another to the list.
Damn, but that was missed.
Plan all shot to hell.
There goes that door bell.

Phones rings some more.
Another yapping encore.
Computer just got infected.
A virus was detected.

Now that must be fixed.
Plans are sure getting nixed.
Oh wait....help!
You hear that yelp.

Need help doing many a thing.
From homework to getting a fling.
Hey, some need more help than others.
Could even just be pestering sisters or brothers.

Where has time gone?
It was just dawn.
My list is still sitting.
Head against door comes a hitting?

Don't you love when things pop up? They sure can create a hiccup. Do you swear and whine when things don't align? If the computer breaks I may swear a bit. But then I just fix it. Still sucks time away from other things. But that is what always springs. Something else will always get in the way or you'll just stay long at play. My OCD helps when that comes to pass, keeping me a far ahead little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 19, 2017

A Flip Flop Type Of Crop!

The fun of a theory can make many cheery. Then again the flip side is true as many go all boo hoo. What is the cat going on about? Aren't I being predictable with my shout?

I have a theory.
It may be eerie.
It may be out there.
It may be rare.

It is all mine.
Look, others align.
The theory is out there.
Read and show you care.

Woweee, I was right.
My theory took flight.
But that isn't good.
I already guessed and understood.

So predicable that show.
The writers are just slow.
I guessed that years ago.
Following a predictable low.

What, you were surprised?
It wasn't that prized.
So find a new show.
You're brain dead, you know.

I was validated with my theory.
I am anything but cheery.
Who cares if I was right.
The thing I knew came to light.

I want surprise.
Why can't they be more wise?
Why can't they prove me wrong?
Follows the same steps as Donkey Kong.

Oh, I have a theory.
I'm once more cheery.
I bet that is where they are going.
It has to be such a showing.

What? I was wrong?
They didn't play along?
How can that be?
You weren't supposed to fool me.

I wanted to be right.
It should have came to light.
I'm going to stop watching out of spite.
My theories need to be wrong...I mean right.

Ever hear the flip flop theory nuts? They sure talk out their butts. No matter what the theory is for. If wrong they whine and if right they whine more. Have you got a recent theory? Will it being right make you cheery? Will you find it predictable if you are? Getting out the feathers and tar? Humans are such a predictable mass. Glad I'm just a little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Purr Empire Part Two Comes Out Of The Blue!

     I kept leading the way through the trees and I have to admit that it was a breeze. At least it was a breeze until the others chimed in. I guess I was taking them for a spin.
     "The fleabag is taking Drazin in circles. Why is Drazin following the fleabag anyway? Those animals screwed Drazin up." Drazin kept mumbling to himself as we saw a familiar hole. Hey, I had to go in the middle of our stroll.
     "Thy demon is right. We have been forsaken in the land of..."
     "Shut up, Pat. It's just a bunch of trees. Not some..."Cassie stopped yapping as shadows covered us all. They were smaller than her furry ball. That is a cat toy in case you don't know. No need for the gutter to show.
     "Humans have come into our den. We like to see such men. We will suck them dry. They will surely cry."
     The shadows grew closer an closer and kept repeating the same crap. Then we saw the things who continued to yap. They were tiny talking wood ticks. I think I would prefer super powered zombies hicks.
     "At least we know why the talking creatures didn't follow us," Pat blurted out, as his eyes rolled about.
    Those blood suckers had us all on edge. We could not even find a ledge. It was just a web of trees in every direction. We ran but had no time for further inspection. Those things were on us like a..well...tick to a rear. They surrounded us drawing ever so near.
     "Can't you burn them with your fake contact lenses, godly mook?"
     "Fleabag, if Drazin could don't you think Drazin would have already?"
     "Back foul creatures, back!" Pat waved a puny stick as their lips they began to lick.
     "A juicy meal for us all. We'll no longer allow you to stand tall."
     "Do you have to all talk at once and sound like that rhyming dunce?" Drazin questioned the wood tick crew, realizing a rhyme came due. "Drazin is so hating this world."
     Cassie and I clawed a few as they eyed us like yummy stew. We could not even dig into the ground. They were popping out of there as they continued to surround. They then hummed all in sync and each gave us a wink. It was strange to see. I swear they were like wood tick robots unable to talk free.
     "Not this again." Drazin grumbled and fell to his knees. Their singing once again made he and Pat freeze.
     Their legs reached out for each of them, mouths dripping with a little phlegm. Cassie and I continued to swat but it did not do a whole heck of a lot. We were going to be done in by blood sucking, singing wood ticks. That as an obituary title would sure get a few clicks. Then came a whistle and a whole new tune. The wood ticks quickly scurried away like a frightened racoon.
     "What foul creature saved thy, demon?"
     "How should Drazin know?"
     We all searched for the whistling nut. He was clearly in a rut. He was whistling the same tune over and over. I prayed it was not a rabies ridden rover. And then he came in view. He was a human, yet his skin was blue. He also had on only one shoe. He walked a bit lopsided as he stepped up to our crew.
    "You haven't seen a shoe around here anywhere, have you?" Blue Guy asked and glared. Did I mention he was spiky haired?
     "A shoe? Who gives a flying crap about a shoe? Drazin wants to know what you did to make those blood suckers go away."
     "Them? They're no trouble. They sucked on me a time or two and died from my blue blood. My bad reaction to their fixing human process gave me super powers. Now where is my shoe?" Blue Guy talked like it meant nothing at all that we were almost sucked dry like a shopper at the mall. I think he was a little touched in the head. But at least he saved us from winding up dead.
     "Let's get out of here before they come back," Cassie stated. Those blood suckers she really hated.
     "Drazin is with the fleabag. And you're coming with Drazin. How does Drazin get out of here?" Drazin questioned Blue Guy. He clearly did not get it on the first try.
     "Who is Drazin? Does he or she have my shoe?"
     "Good going, godly mook. You confused the poor, simple human." Cassie rolled her eyes. Blue Guy truly was not very wise.
     "Yes, dearie. He has your shoe. Would you kindly lead us out of here so we can show you where he is?" Pat said, sounding like some old lady. If he was not nuts, the cops may find his act shady. They would probably check him for drugged candy. But Blue Guy fell for it, so his crazy voice mind came in handy.
     "Sure. There is a way. You just have to walk backwards to go forwards." Blue Guy begin walking back. He laughed at the peering wood tick pack. Their faces sure were not vague. They stared at him like he carried the plague.
     "Let's give it a try. He looks like a trust worthy blue guy."
     "Drazin will strangle him if he is not."
     "The guy who has my shoe is mean. We have to stop such a crook."
     "Maybe you should stop talking, godly mook." Cassie laughed at Drazin. Blue Guy's mind may have been smaller than a raisin.
     We trotted backwards, watching each step. Blue Guy was the only one with any pep. The sticks had to hurt his foot with no shoe. He barely missed the hole where I buried my poo. That I just had to add. It is okay for some filler to be had. It beats saying we walked backwards for an hour and that Drazin and Pat smelled like they each needed a shower.
     "And here we are. Back safe and sound. Now where can I find Drazin to get my shoe?" Blue showed us the edge of the tree line. We peered out and saw that giant feline. They were all still there. We had to find a way to avoid their ear piercing blare.
     "That's Drazin. Right there! He stole your shoe," Drazin stated, pointing to Tig Leader.
     "I knew it. That is my shoe stealing foe. No wonder he is leader. He steals everyone's shoes." Blue Guy jumped into the lake and all the talking animals began to shake. They scattered as he neared their shore. I guess his powers from the allergic reaction must be more. But we did not stick around to find out when we spotted a singing trout.
     "I will have you all. Your reproducing will stall. We'll fix you good. Then humans no longer are understood."
     "Shut it." Cassie kicked dirt in the trout's face. That stopped his bad singing embrace. "Get going, you two."
     "Drazin needs earplugs."
     "And some real clothes, dearie," Pat added. His brain still in need of a cell that's padded.
     We ran down the shore line to get away. We could still hear the Blue Guy having his say. He was shouting about his shoe at every turn. That fire within for his shoe sure did burn. We thought we heard the last of him when our situation once again turned grim. We were back where we started. Blue Guy screaming for his shoe as all the talking animals had departed.
     "What is this place?" Drazin was clearly not impressed as this place had become quite the pest.
     "It's crazier than Pat and that is saying something."
     "Quiet or no dinner for you tonight, kitty cat." Pat threatened Cassie in a cheery tone. At least with all the voices in his head he is never alone.
     "Backwards with me. Let's go on three." I trotted backwards along the shore line and they all followed this rhyming feline. After a few minutes of walking and talking or moaning and droning, whatever the case may be, we no longer even saw a tree. Blue Guy's screaming about his shoe was gone and here we stood in an over grown lawn. There was a shabby shack at the back and we just knew we were in for more flack.

************************

That Blue Guy really wants his shoe. I wonder if he'll find it before this is through? Who knows how that will go. Who knows what the hell will show. I just hope Drazin or Pat doesn't get fixed. No brain cells would mean our feeding gets nixed. And so part two has come to pass from my ever so crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

An Alter That From The Cat!

Can you alter this or that? That and this proves that stat. Altered it was indeed. But a different alter will take seed. Or would it be the same with just a longer name? Maybe the latter but it won't matter.

There was an altercation.
It involved a carnation.
It took place at a station.
And resulted in probation.

Does it require a narration?
I think I can take a vacation.
For there isn't even a need for a summation.
Could result in some sedation.

Results are a confirmation.
One made from concentration.
Or pure dumb agitation.
An altercation invitation.

Agitation and altercation.
Quite the congregation.
They may be blood relation.
Distant, but still a good illustration.

Could result in inflammation.
After such an installation.
Can you install altercation?
I'm betting yes on that observation.

It's like an invitation.
An invitation for agitation.
Then agitation becomes altercation,
And along comes castration.

Sure has some preservation.
Must be it's own occupation.
Throw in a little stimulation.
That could be a stipulation.

Too bad there's no vaccination.
Could be an end to the violation.
Maybe one needs a transformation,
Using a little transplantation.

Could avoid the assassination.
That does take coordination.
Who needs that aggravation?
That just ups the altercation.

But hey, it brings confederation.
A not so equalization.
Just one long perpetuation,
Spinning back to the altercation.

My where we can go with an altercation flow. Ever have an altercation? Was it one with a carnation? Or was it to do with commercialization? Did it result in litigation? I hope you beat the allegation. Or are now in an undisclosed location. Of course that may mean no green grass which could result in an altercation from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Following Is All Kinds Of Hollowing!

Did you know that the following post is intended for mature audiences from coast to coast? You didn't know that? Now you do from the cat.

A word to the wise.
Adult situations arise.
So take care.
May blind a pair.

A naked bun or two.
So adult in view.
A shooting of some bad guy.
Oh me, oh my.

Adult in every way.
Make sure the kids stray.
Speaking of which,
There in lies a glitch.

Adult it is.
But no child care biz?
No screaming in the night?
No kids on a long flight?

No pets anywhere?
No bills to spare.
No filling up on gas.
No condom needed in mass?

Hell, not even gas,
Will come to pass.
Not in the fill up way.
Just in case you're lost at my bay.

No mortgage to pay.
No events for the kids to play.
No running to and fro.
That is a lot of no.

No bags under their eyes.
But yes, the bad guy dies.
Or maybe he fries.
Watch it girls and guys.

So adult this post.
It's adult the most.
Not even a vet bill,
Or recycling for the land fill.

There is no need to eat,
Unless advertising a treat.
Not even a need to shit.
But yep, it's adult where you sit.

Damn, those adult warnings are a little inflated. Maybe they were done by adults who never mated? Heck, they never mated, owned a pet, ate or went to the loo. A robot must have put the discretion warning in view. Skynet is truly coming to pass. You heard it here first from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 15, 2017

A Rare Find From My Behind!

This will be the day you remember forever. It was when I pulled back the lever. The lever to the curtain that is. You don't even need to take a quiz. You get this all for one low price. Aren't I sure nice?

The cat has traveled near.
That cat has traveled far.
I walked and wiggled my rear,
Sometimes I even took a car.

Then I came across it.
It was a wonder to behold.
I almost had a happy fit.
This stuff was better than gold.

It was found through fog.
It was found through snow.
I even crossed a bog,
I never got wet though.

There on a hilltop it was revealed.
The hill is more like a mountain.
The place should have been sealed,
But instead it had a wishing fountain.

I don't buy that stuff.
So we'll skip that tourist trap.
Instead I couldn't get enough,
And I even had to clap.

Clapping with claws is hard.
But I did it just for you.
I'll even give you my card,
When you buy more than two.

The people there were young.
They were all so healthy and fit.
Some of them even sung,
No matter if they sounded like shit.

Heaven on Earth it was.
There is no better term.
They shared their secret just because.
I didn't even have to fear a germ.

The secret was so simple.
It was sitting there all along.
It can even cure a pimple.
You'll want to sing a song.

So get this magnificent discovery today.
It was verified by Dr. Asilfailed Horne.
You'll see every result that we say.
No longer will life be corny.

Don't you want to buy right now? You have to after such a meow. I mean it was from deep, deep, deep in the unknown. A Dr. even approved it after given a kickback err umm loan. Such products are so super rare. You'll get everything from extra inches to shiny hair. For just 5 easy payments of $99.99 your life will now align. Did I mention this is a monthly thing? We can't let you run out in winter, fall, summer or spring. Just plug in your credit card today and we'll ship across any bay. Wait! I think that came out in my gas. You may want to ignore my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

It's Combo Time With This Chime!

A combination may take form and become the norm. Or it may take form and send one hiking back for their dorm. As in it is very scary. Some could sure get hairy. That we do know. But in case you don't, here you go.

It's combo time.
Don't drop a dime.
Not that kind of one.
No need to clog the arteries a ton.

Elvis and Bieber together.
A combo one could weather.
Err umm yeah, not.
That may not sound too hot.

Microsoft and cats.
They screw up like dingbats.
Just make mechanical ones.
The thought gives me the runs.

Movies and video games.
Pffft plenty of crap worthy claims.
Very few of them good.
Can that Mario one even be understood?

Pizza and squid.
One to be hid.
Both nasty to me.
But would ruin much glee.

McDonald's and a diet.
Go ahead and try it.
But the combo won't work.
Double the combo perk.

A mime and a dog.
Nope, miming lost in a fog.
Try to get a dog to mime.
They'll yap and have a grand old time.

A car and trash.
BTTF had a bash.
Sorry, doesn't work yet.
Never is a safe bet.

Some rum and dish soap.
Boy, you have to be a dope.
Yeah, I actually saw that.
Not pretty where any are at.

A combo with a combo.
Did a wtf you just go?
I raise it with another one.
A wtf in a wtf for fun.

There are millions that could be spun, especially with a nasty food run. Think of any at your sea? Any scare you that came from me? Squid and pizza some may find grand in some far off land. I think we will pass on them all. Maybe a combo wtf can befall. I'm sure we left some like that in mass. Thus is the way of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Some Friendly Spice In Advice!

The cat will go all friendly today. That may be rare for my bay. But it has to be done. I just want to be friendly to everyone. Don't believe me? Just wait and see.

You want a date?
Take any old mate.
Doesn't matter the one.
Give even a psycho a run.

Hey, just friendly advice.
You wanted to entice.
I'm just saying you can get one.
All friendly like with my run.

Want to get rich?
Not live in a ditch?
Have money with ease.
Get a job, it's a breeze.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Can roll the dice.
Get all kinds of dough.
May take 50 years though

Want to lose weight?
Not a hard trait.
Well maybe for you.
Don't have food in your zoo.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Eat less than mice.
Then you'll do it,
As there you sit.

Want to do a blog?
Suffering from brain fog?
Just put up anything at all.
No one will care about your hall.

Hey, just friendly advice.
Go get a slice.
A slice of whatever you like.
Call it a strike.

Want to retire?
Is that where you aspire?
Give up that dream and work.
Unless you want to live like a grocery clerk.

Hey, just friendly advice.
So friendly it's like sharing lice.
The advice was just given.
It is so friendly it will help you with liven.

Pffffft friendly advice is hardly ever that. Heard any friendly advice that was more like scat? Those that give it and hide behind the friendly bit are usually very full of shit. But hey, I'm just being friendly to that mass as they are such a friendly class. So friendly that they can suck on some friendly gas from my ever so friendly little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 12, 2017

An I Never Type Of Endeavor!

The cat sure knows humans aren't whelmed sometimes. They sure go into the over exaggeration crimes. I guess they like the old !!!!!!!!!!!! mark. So the I never they bark.

While I never.
Actually not.
With that endeavor,
Holes in the plot.

I never smelled anything worse.
What? It was just a fart.
So skunks don't make you curse?
Do you take them to heart?

I never scene anything like that.
Two humpers that are fat?
A cat eating a rat?
Are you just a dingbat?

I never saw that before.
Back to the eyes.
A changed encore.
My, aren't you wise.

Well I never.
Then you stop.
A huff so clever,
As words just flop.

I never thought it possible.
You mean your mind is stuck?
For in the head nothing is impossible,
In real life it may pass the buck.

I never dreamed of that.
Two humpers that are fat?
A cat eating a rat?
Back to you being a dingbat?

I never ate anything so bad.
No? Not one little thing?
Try something that drives you mad?
This one may have some truth spring.

I never seen anyone like that.
My, you are sheltered as can be.
Back to the chewing of fat?
Are zombie feet scary to thee?

Well I never.
Yeah, yeah, we know.
Pull back the lever,
All can be seen on the internet show.

Do you use I never a lot? Think it all hot to trot? You may have nevered until you never the never. Does that sound clever? Maybe that just confused you a bit. Can't say you never been confused here. I'm sure I could throw a curve ball near. But I would never ever let that come to pass. You may never get anywhere if you believe that last one from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Purr Empire Part One Everywhere Animals Run!

     I thought I was having a nap on the lap of that Pat chap, but that turned out to be fake because we all awoke in some lake. Cassie was not happy with it. She hated water and began to hiss and spit. I had no fear and swam to shore. Pat shook off and then we heard a familiar roar. Once again he was back. It was way easier when all that godly mook did was attack.
     "Drazin was in the middle of..." Drazin's eyes were filled with love.
     "The godly mook and Plum were touching...his bum!" I looked away. That was such a scary display. Give me water any day. Drazin bare was now burned in my mind come what may.
     "Thy demon is in the nude."
     "Way to state the obvious, Pat." Cassie rolled her eyes and stared at Drazin's man parts like they were flies.
     "Don't even think about it, fleabag. Drazin isn't into such things like your crazy human." Drazin searched for something to wear while he used his hands to cover up being bare.
     "Demon, thy shall perish for such remarks."
     "What did you do now, godly mook? Pat wasn't nuts for a whole year. Now he is. Where are we?" Cassie badgered Drazin some more while Pat and I scanned the shore. There was nothing in sight. Not even a sand flea tried to bite.
     "Would it be a shocker if we were back on Island of the Gawker?" I had to point that out. It was familiar until we spotted a talking trout.
     "We swim from here to there searching for some hair. If only we weren't so slippery and wet our hair dream would be met."
     "Is Drazin going nuts or did that meal just talk?"
     "Ahhhhh. Upright humans! Feral cats! It's the end of days." The trout went beneath the sea and we knew this was not the Gawker's place to be.
     "First talking cats. Now talking fish. Drazin is in a Disney movie."
     "Hopefully it's more Lion King and less Princess and the Frog," Pat chimed in, back to his normal self with a movie spin. "I can't look at this any longer." Pat took off his shirt and tossed it to Drazin. Thankfully he wrapped it around himself and we no longer had to look at the thing the size of a raisin.
     "Let's get this over with and find out what the godly mook got us into this time." Cassie sighed and trotted away while we each kept an eye on the bay.
     "This isn't Drazin's doing, fleabag. If Drazin wanted to go anywhere Drazin wouldn't do it while Drazin was bare. If this is like that deranged candy land or those zombies with powers, Drazin is going to throw you fleabags and your crazy human in a vault and lock the door."
     "Give it a try and you'll lose an eye." I trotted behind Cassie with my tail in the air. I too could show my rump all bare.
     "Demon, what has thou done? Where has thou taken us?" Pat grabbed a stick and held it like a sword. His eyes widened as we were being marched on by an animal horde.
     "How is this Drazin's fault? Drazin doesn't want to go to a land with walking, talking animals."
     Animals dressed and walking like humans surrounded us. They were sure all making a fuss. They were even armed with guns. A few looked like they were about to have the runs.
     "Where have you come from? The Island of Forbidden? This will mean war if so. State your business or be shot," a jittery tiger stated to us. We really kicked up a fuss. He was dressed in a suit and tie. The suit was a bright blue and hard on the eye.
     "Great! A stupidly named place. I bet that name drop means it will come into play by the end of this. You'd think talking animals would have less obvious plot devices." Pat mumbled for a while and they found him and Drazin truly vile. We on the other hand were looked on with pity. I guess we did not fit into their animal city.
     "Bring out the humans!"
     "Right away, Tig Leader." A Zebra ran to the back of the crowd and then some snarling was heard and became rather loud. He was yanked back to us by three humans on all fours. These humans clearly had taken far too many brain cell losing tours. The were drooling and howling at us like mutts. This place was completely nuts.
     "Now tell us your intentions and why you are here before we unleash the deadly humans on you." Tig Leader became less jittery. Boy, his hair was so glittery. It was like he got back from some teen group sing a long. A glittery fur, suit wearing tiger was all kinds of wrong.
     "Drazin has had enough of this. Drazin will..."
     "Not like that you disgusting human. You know the drill. You want to live, you sing it." Tig Leader crossed his arms and grinned. It was clear Drazin wanted to see him skinned.
     "Godly mook, this is on you." Cassie scratched a human and he whimpered licking his hand. She wiped off her paw in the sand.
     "Cat, you are lucky you are so naive. If not you'd suffer the same fate as the disgusting humans. Release the humans," Tig Leader commanded. He sighed and then clarified what he had demanded. "Release those humans who are in their correct place on the ones standing."
     "The Great God Duke Drazin has far better things to do." Drazin picked up a rock and left the human coming at him in shock. He whacked him upside the head. I am sure nothing was permanently damaged as these humans were already brain dead.
     "I can't hit a woman." Pat tried to push back the woman biting at his heels. She bit him and the animal horde cheered with some giving weird squeals. "But she devils I may." Pat kicked dirt in her eyes and she shouted howling cries.
     "Humans are so worthless. They can't even take down their own kind. Now we do this the hard way." Tig Leader and his horde eyeballed us while the humans made a fuss.
     "Demon, is thy self bullet proof?" Pat feared the guns as this animal horde had tons.
     "Drazin's armor is. But you had to bring Drazin here while Drazin wasn't wearing it."
     "You touch crazy Pat and we'll turn you to scat." My threat may have been rather bad but I was miffed more than a tad.
     The animal horde raised their guns to the sky and then all looked to that Tig Leader guy. He placed his hand on his chest and then nodded to the rest. They aimed at Drazin and Pat and we got ready to attack the big cat. Before we could they fired and it turns out they never expired. Weird tones filled the air. Eventually they became some tune worthy affair. Then Tig Leader started to sing and Pat and Drazin acted ready to bow to this cat king.
     "We no longer roar and squawk. Now we walk and we talk. We took over where humans failed and the planet is no longer derailed. Purr Empire holds the power and beneath us all surely cower. Humans are mindless cronies. They are the one true phonies. All we had to do was grab and twist'em like a plumber unclogging the system. They fell into line and things were fine. Then you two came to shore and threatened to derail our lore. But we admit a few humans we may have missed and so you will go into the twist. There you will be snipped and sucked. All within you will be tucked. Life will move on as it should when all humans are no longer understood. So fall to your knees and prepare the way to your less thinking brighter day."
     Cassie and I tried to get through the marching hooves and feet but there was no room for retreat. So we dug a hole while he sung, secretly hoping he would pop a lung. That never occurred as Tig Leader simply purred. He was almost done his tune when I did something familiar in the sand dune. I let loose some gas. It was not such a stinky mass but it was what I do in the litter. They all became quite bitter. The tune of my gas screwed up the harmony of the animal mass. They became as bewildered as could be and then I scratched Pat on the knee. Cassie did it to the godly mook and he was about to puke.
     "Drazin can't believe Drazin succumbed to that."
     "The harmony of the animals must have encumbered our brain with some sound wave that in turn..."
     "Shut up, Pat. Run with the cat." I led the way and we ran back toward the bay.
     "No way. I got wet once. That is enough."
     "Cassie, don't be prissy or you'll be a dead missy."
     "Drazin has a better idea." Drazin knocked over a tree with one kick. That thing fell some slick.
     "Score one for the godly mook. I guess you aren't all bad." Cassie hopped on the tree and we followed suit. It is a good thing Drazin is a brute. We floated out into the bay with the animal horde yelling that we would pay. Thankfully we all held onto the bark and never got eaten by a talking shark. We made it to the other side and disappeared into the trees. I was hoping we would not run into talking fleas. The would be the last thing we needed to see. Maybe the second last, after seeing Drazin as bare as could be.

******************************

The cat figured it was time for another tale and this one hit the trail. The first to pop in as I wrote away. So figured it wanted its say. Been a while since a long arse blog post came due. Now there may be a few. How will the tale go? Damned if I know. The cat shall just go with the flow. But that you probably know. Score one for me passing gas. It's only in tune with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Not Any With Popularity Among Many!

The cat has gone down the idiom road but today we'll take the popular load. I guarantee no one reading this hasn't ever heard/said one. If not then you live under a rock with no sun.

We're going the whole nine yards.
That is what is in the cards.
A taste of your own medicine you'll receive.
Hopefully that doesn't prompt you to leave.

Unless here you wouldn't be caught dead.
That can play tricks with your head.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Actually I may be a smarter feline.

Making it a piece of cake.
No cake you even have to make.
Maybe once in a blue moon.
But then I'm just a loon.

At least my mind isn't a wreck.
Like some not playing with a full deck.
I'm just off my rocker.
Yeah, that's not a shocker.

Should I let sleeping dogs lie?
Pffft I'd rather let the hair fly.
Could kill two birds with one stone.
Or just throw a dog a bone.

Gonna jump on the bandwagon?
I used gonna and turned Suza into a dragon.
Whoops, I let the cat out of the bag.
Isn't that a redundant flying flag?

Hey, every cloud has a silver lining.
So quit your poor pitiful me whining.
Okay, drastic times call for drastic measures.
I now revoke all human pleasures.

That may cost an arm and a leg.
Not sure I can lift a keg.
But I'd sure burn the midnight oil.
Humans would be out to foil.

Of course I could be barking up the wrong tree.
But at least on a tree I don't lift my leg and pee.
That ball is in your court.
At the drop of a hat you can file a report.

Actions do speak louder than words.
Like taking a rock and killing those birds.
In the heat of the moment it may seem right.
But not when you hit the sack at night.

A penny for your thoughts? Did you guess lots? Sorry, no real penny for you. Up here the pennies are through. Did I hit the nail on the head with anything I said? Should I not give up my day job? Even if that job is to rob? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Shaking your head at my idiom fit? I could go on all day with my idiom pass. Stopping may be a blessing in disguise from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

The Real Wow Is We Can Do It Now!

Aren't some nuts so optimistic it isn't funny? Or maybe it is rather funny as they think all is sunny. Like a nut I heard yapping the other day about driver-less cars coming our way.

They're ready to go.
They will be the next wave.
Keeping traffic at a steady flow,
No one will go to their grave.

Can play with the kids.
Can send them out alone.
So start taking bids.
And stay near that telephone.

They will change life.
No more driver error.
Can sleep with the wife,
Tinted windows stop any terror.

Isn't that neat?
Sex while driving.
Oh what a treat.
And all are surviving.

Driver-less cars are here.
They just need to change the law.
Then we'll kick them in gear,
And they won't have a flaw.

Old human powered ones will go.
They will become illegal for roads.
Maybe see a few at a car show,
But otherwise they won't carry loads.

The car will do it all.
It will avoid snow and rain.
You can just sit and make a call.
It's like you're on a small train.

So throw out the old.
Bring in the new.
They are pure gold.
You'll probably want two.

No soccer games missed.
No school bus needed.
No needing to follow a list.
Taxi's no longer are deeded.

The car does it all.
The car gets you through.
It will take you to the mall,
Or maybe even Timbuktu.

Pffffft like that is going to happen fast and make human drivers a thing of the past. He claimed the only thing in the way was the law. Hmmm there is one big flaw. People everywhere CAN'T afford a new car. Going to give them away for free near and far? I doubt that one bit. So saying it could happen now makes one full of shit. Plus would you let your kids go off alone in one anywhere? Pffft that would raise my neck hair. Rather deal with the idiot drivers in mass. They won't be working any kinks out on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 8, 2017

The Connective Today Is On Display!

So Pat is back on the non rhyming spree. He sure is doing a lot of that at our sea. The cat should scratch him for that. But then it could be a hit at our blog mat. So I will let it go as a new novel does show.


Travis, Sally and their mother are seeking a fresh start in a new town after an accident claimed their father's life. They arrive in Queens County, each ready to try and put the pieces of their family back together. The slow pace of the rural community seems to be the place to do just that until a neighbor's warning comes to be. After one night in this sleepy community Sally and her mother are merged into The Connective. 

Now Travis is left alone to fend against The Connective. His many questions needing answers so he can save his sister and mother from their clutches. He seeks out his neighbor, Billy, and begins to learn what The Connective is and its true purpose. The more he learns, the more fearful he becomes for his family, his new friends and his very life.

With an ancient evil hovering over his family, Travis will stop at nothing to unravel the mystery surrounding Queens County. It will lead him to places he never knew existed and things he never wanted to believe could exist. A power as old as time itself lurks in the shadows and it is up to Travis and his friends to stop it in order to escape Queens County with their lives.

Sound good to you? Another new genre kinda came due. Pat is branching out every which way. Did you know he actually used real places this time at our bay? Instead of just making names up at our sea. It just wanted to come to be. So be sure you aren't near The Connective mass. They would sure scare my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

A Temporary Change That Isn't So Strange!

The cat will temporarily change things up. I will become a rhyming pup. Err umm, yeah right. See how long that lasted at my site? Never even came to pass. Guess I temporarily became a lying little rhyming ass. Get where I'm going? On with the temporary showing.

A temporary situation.
That may need a quotation.
Seems the brain went on vacation.
Humans give it a rather large summation.

This is a temporary home.
Yep, don't even have a lawn gnome.
5 years later it's still home.
But hey, never got that lawn gnome.

This job is temporary.
You aren't the primary.
What? 2 years later and you want benefits and pay?
See ya! It was temporary, okay.

This is a temporary way of life.
It is only a little strife.
A year later and it is still here.
Still temporary, my dear.

This is a temporary life.
For you and your wife.
Quite the kind of temporary.
90 years is legendary.

Only a temporary side effect.
Whoops, it seems it did elect.
It elected to stay.
Only temporary to your death day.

A temporary stop.
Don't call a cop.
Back on the road.
Look! True temporary mode.

A temporary house guest.
2 years later they're still a pest.
Whoops, lost in translation again.
Written in pencil not pen.

A temporary road block.
Construction, what a shock.
There all summer long.
Let's temporarily play along.

I'm temporarily done.
I've had my temporary fun.
I'm still a temporary liar.
This rhyme will temporarily expire.

Do you use temporary a lot? Do you get stuck in a not so temporary plot? I'd say temporary goes away when you reach the year mark at your bay. Then it becomes what? A rut? Could go many away with that but I am an only one a day post cat. Unless you go to that day Pat adds to his mass. Then I temporarily become a 24 post in one day little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Going Dead So Don't Lose Your Head!

What did you think? Maybe zombie feet will give you a wink? Those nasty things probably can wink. But we don't need their stink. There is more to dead than off with your head.

Things are alive.
Five by five.
Things are dead.
Nothing need said.

But things not alive,
Can also survive?
How is that?
Chew that fat.

Poppy cock I say.
Not alive at ones bay.
Then it can't die.
At least until robots come to fry.

Do you need a tissue?
Do you have an issue?
Well I don't want to hear it.
Nope, not one little bit.

You know what it means?
Nod your head behind your screens.
It means the issue is dead.
A dead issue put to bed.

Look! Something not alive can die.
Ummm, does that really fly?
Dead becomes dead while not even able to be dead.
That will keep the thoughts in your mind fed.

Then let's suppose it is right.
Never ever at any site.
But we'll indulge you a bit.
So no need to hiss and spit.

If you still have the issue,
And are still crying in your tissue,
Does that mean the issue is really dead?
Can it be dead just from what I said?

Just because I ignore it.
Or won't indulge your fit,
Kinda like I'm doing now.
Does it die somehow?

Nope, issue is still there.
Damn, this is one weird affair.
Dead issues are alive issues that aren't really alive so can't really die.
Who knew issues were so spry.

Do you have an issue with the dead issue? Are you going to go cry into a tissue? How can something not living die? Can I make the door die with a fire that will cause it to fry? Too many questions from me? Do I hurt the poor head of thee? I guess that is an issue with each pass. One that is fine being alive for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 5, 2017

A Mixed Bag That's A Drag!

The cat could pick a ton and really go on a run but we'll avoid that. Then I'll make too many things go splat. Instead we'll stick to a few. I wouldn't want to hog the time of you. Actually I might. But hey, a cat runs this site.

This and that,
That and this.
Some fall flat,
Some are a miss.

Let's run for fun.
Pffft who does that?
Humans run at the sound of a gun.
Damn that says the cat.

Huff and puff.
Sweat down the back.
If you run enough,
You may have a heart attack.

What about sad and rich?
Who heard that one?
Unless dead in a ditch,
Pffft to that a ton.

May cry you a river.
A river of gold.
Oh won't that make you shiver.
Yeah, sad has left the fold.

This one is easy.
No nitpicked needed.
Some are so sleazy,
Lies should be deeded.

Honesty and politics.
Like that's ever the case.
None of that former in the mix.
Lies out their smiling face.

And the clean and dirt.
Yeah, like that's a thing.
Clean dirt is on your skirt.
Whoops, in the hamper you fling.

But it was clean dirt.
What was so wrong?
You can still flirt.
It will just come along.

What could more be?
You've heard a ton.
They are shouted free.
Enjoy your fun run.

Think things shouldn't mix and match? There are quite the batch. I swiped fun and run from BTTF 3. Yeah, it was right on for me. A cat runs for fun and gets into stuff. But humans? Pffft who needs that huff and puff? Any things that aren't a good mix for you? Plenty at my zoo. To each their own in mass. No such thing as clean dirt to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

A Little Compare Type Of Pair!

It's time we compare. You humans ask for it at any lair. Or give it to us whether we like it or not. So let's do the old comparison hot to trot. This post would be super long if I sung every comparison song.

Time to compare.
Don't take the dare.
There just isn't one.
A comparison is easily spun.

The this stuff to that stuff.
The this fluff to that fluff.
The this thing to that thing.
The..all about the cha ching.

That can take all.
Cha ching heeds the call.
It brings even more.
Have to get that good buy at your shore.

There's the this on sale,
To the that they wail.
There's the cart full of chips,
Along with the best dips.

From high end TP,
To the brand name for thee.
Hint the former is the best.
Damn that sand paper pest.

Oh, but wait.
Forget the stuff fate.
There is even more.
Don't even have to open the door.

Compare him to neighbor Joe?
Bah, him no one will know.
Let's compare him to Sly,
Even if it is one big lie.

Or maybe her to Madonna.
Time to pull a umm conna?
Hey, everyone will know.
Beats saying they are like neighbor Joe.

Oh, but don't stop.
More can sure drop.
Let the jealousy rage.
From house to wage.

Compare that life to yours.
Who gets to take more tours?
Who has the best car or wife?
Oh yes, let's compare the best life.

Are you a comparing nut? I can see when trying to save a buck at your hut. But life and such? A so called famous person so your ego can rise a touch? Pffft to any of that. The cat would rather compare things to scat. Are you comparing me now? Hey, I do more than meow. You may have to create a whole new class when comparing my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Can You Say Go Away?


The a to z,
Or between for me,
Has surely been done.
Survive its run?

Look at you.
Writing came due.
Wasn't that grand?
Words in hand.

Fact or fiction.
Pics or depiction.
All were there,
With posts to spare.

Except the spammers.
Hit them with hammers.
Give a "Great Whack!"
After the smack.

What's that you ask?
The insecure task?
Yeah, I'm getting there.
No need to blare.

Well maybe there is.
Blare at such biz.
Give a go away.
Damn, still in the fray.

But you wrote a month long.
Is that really wrong?
Maybe wasn't a book.
But you wrote at your nook.

Learned a thing or two too.
If you went to many a zoo.
Not just a stick in the mud.
 Hiding away like a C.H.U.D.

Writing and learning,
Even comment returning.
Wow, you got stuff done.
Like how that was spun?

And if you didn't do the a to z,
Or a between like little old me,
Then you still did something.
Sleeping is needed as well for words to spring.

Did you follow the cat? Something was still done where you're at. That insecurity can go take a hike. Sometimes better to get a spare than a strike. At least something was done and you learned and had some fun. Maybe met a new blogging mass. So stay secure like my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

A Museum Or Two For You To View!

You humans sure have weird things to go and see. What is so great about such a spree? Museums are supposed to be informative I think. I guess some are showing you the missing link?

A museum for this.
A museum for that.
Some sure cause bliss,
Even when hosting scat.

Yep, that is true.
Outhouse museums are a thing.
Come see where people poo.
Thrones not fit for a king.

A museum of cheese.
Oh yes, please.
No needs for birds and bees,
They just make you wheeze.

A museum for mannequin heads.
Isn't that a delight?
Heads in beds,
Hope they sleep tight.

A museum for liquor.
I bet it isn't much.
You could get drunk quicker,
At the store and such.

A museum for bushes.
Isn't that a greenhouse?
Maybe it's bushes with tushes?
Or just homes for a mouse.

A museum for beds.
Double up I'd say.
Use the mannequin heads,
And call it a day.

A museum for money.
Now there is the ticket.
Some of it must be funny.
Hey, maybe you can lick it.

A museum for yarn.
Wow, that may thrill.
Could fill a barn.
Just sit, stare and chill.

A museum for this.
A museum for that.
Some I'll take a miss,
Especially the scat.

Ever been to an outhouse museum at your sea? Any other weird ones that charge a fee? Why would anyone want to tour where people shit? Wowweeee, there they used to sit. Is there an art to it that we don't know? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Museums sure can be weird and some are to be feared. I'll stick to the upper class. They are much more interesting to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 1, 2017

A Little Percent Doesn't Make A Dent!

Percentages sure do and don't count. It all depends on the amount. The percentage I post is 100% of the time. Did any new a to z followers think I wouldn't drop a dime? But now on with it. Then end of my word percentage I'm about to hit.

Did that make sense?
Probably not one bit.
Seems some are just as dense,
Or like to make up shit.

Don't know about it?
Well now you will.
For it's okay if it's a bit.
Then you can get a thrill.

GLUTEN FREE!
Err ummm yep, sure is.
Free as can be,
As long as it is under the percentage of the biz,

TRANS FAT FREE!
Yeah, this one is sooooo true.
Whoops, the claim you may see,
But it's lying in your view.

A flip and a flop.
What of the reverse?
Surely there isn't such a crop?
Now hold in that curse.

EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS!
Yep, they are oh so great.
Whoops, turns out they are cheats.
Can say it as long as a tiny percent entwined is their fate.

1500 THREAD COUNT!
That is such a high sum.
Whoops, they doubled the amount.
Two sides to sheets as they play dumb.

KILLS 99.99% OF GERMS!
At least the ones known.
If in some new germs worms,
Whoops, lied at the tone.

We can say it is true.
Look it up if you will.
As long as it's in the stew,
Or below a certain bill.

Bah, screw all of that.
Who really needs to know?
Just follow where you're at,
And enjoy the percentage show.

Believe it all? Does it catch your eye at your hall? Do you buy because of such fancy claims? Pffft the cat won't fall for their games. Maybe I'll even make a dent in their little percent. Or just let them smell some gas that 100% of the time comes out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.