Monday, May 15, 2017

A Rare Find From My Behind!

This will be the day you remember forever. It was when I pulled back the lever. The lever to the curtain that is. You don't even need to take a quiz. You get this all for one low price. Aren't I sure nice?

The cat has traveled near.
That cat has traveled far.
I walked and wiggled my rear,
Sometimes I even took a car.

Then I came across it.
It was a wonder to behold.
I almost had a happy fit.
This stuff was better than gold.

It was found through fog.
It was found through snow.
I even crossed a bog,
I never got wet though.

There on a hilltop it was revealed.
The hill is more like a mountain.
The place should have been sealed,
But instead it had a wishing fountain.

I don't buy that stuff.
So we'll skip that tourist trap.
Instead I couldn't get enough,
And I even had to clap.

Clapping with claws is hard.
But I did it just for you.
I'll even give you my card,
When you buy more than two.

The people there were young.
They were all so healthy and fit.
Some of them even sung,
No matter if they sounded like shit.

Heaven on Earth it was.
There is no better term.
They shared their secret just because.
I didn't even have to fear a germ.

The secret was so simple.
It was sitting there all along.
It can even cure a pimple.
You'll want to sing a song.

So get this magnificent discovery today.
It was verified by Dr. Asilfailed Horne.
You'll see every result that we say.
No longer will life be corny.

Don't you want to buy right now? You have to after such a meow. I mean it was from deep, deep, deep in the unknown. A Dr. even approved it after given a kickback err umm loan. Such products are so super rare. You'll get everything from extra inches to shiny hair. For just 5 easy payments of $99.99 your life will now align. Did I mention this is a monthly thing? We can't let you run out in winter, fall, summer or spring. Just plug in your credit card today and we'll ship across any bay. Wait! I think that came out in my gas. You may want to ignore my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

68 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It's alternating
      Nothing strange!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Back you go
      With #1 in tow

      Delete
  2. A Rare Find From My Behind!
    Came with easy payment terms
    Magnificent discovery
    As you could well see
    It was well recommended even

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh so great
      Forget the high interest rate

      Delete
  3. No thank you, I think I'll pass
    On this once-in-a-lifetime deal so crass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wise way to be
      There at your sea

      Delete
  4. Nothing like an easy payment that can change your life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've got such an easy plan
      Make all a big fan

      Delete
  5. No thanks. I'll just live a healthy life instead.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Send your money, easy peazy
    It's a hoax, airy breezy
    Pay, pay, pay, it's so simple
    And so trusting like a pig's dimple

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ever so trusting
      You'll so be a lusting

      Delete
  7. We will pass on this offer too. Sounds like it is TOO easy. Have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When too easy is had
      Best to run away indeed at one's pad

      Delete
  8. I've been tempted
    By television pitches,
    But I've exempted
    Them from my riches.

    No miracle cures
    Or mystery fixes
    That they might lure.
    My wallet nixes.

    Save my cash
    For better things.
    Losing my stash
    Foolishly stings.


    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stings it will
      Never much fun
      Your wallet won't fill
      And nothing gets done

      Just piles of crap
      Sat all in a row
      But always a sap
      That buys into the show

      Delete
  9. Don't like when they get your card
    Hard for get them to stop using it
    Even if it is passed the agreed time of pay
    Not willing to participate and take such a hit.

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, once they get it
      One is up the creek full of more than spit

      Delete
  10. I think I will let you try
    if it works then I might buy
    but, can it fix my ills
    or just create another bill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably the latter
      But it's SSSSSOOOOOO great, what does it matter lol

      Delete
  11. Off that mountain they should jump
    And turn themselves in a lump
    Easy payments, ain't that fun?
    They can stick them up their bum

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stick them up really far
      And then cover it in tar

      Delete
  12. May I get a refund for reading this post?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll get what you put in
      Will sure fill your tin

      Delete
  13. A doctor endorsed it? It must be good then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be grand
      With a Drs helping hand

      Delete
  14. Sounds great! Do we send the money directly to you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Send away
      Could double tomorrow at my bay

      Delete
  15. So sorry ~ can't order this marvelous product right now ~ Just blew my mad money on "The Connective." Looking forward to an interesting read at my feed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Real book of course ~ no kindle for me!

      Delete
    2. Thanks, that is a better thing to blow it on
      This greeeeet deal will have to wait until another dawn haha

      Delete
    3. Working backwards and playing catchup. I'm temporarily hung up on "honesty and politics" and trying to figure out something not alive that could die. My orange-topped president is turning into a lying nightmare, and I'm afraid that the results of his actions will not be temporary. Zombies are too scary, so I'm going with stars and other space objects that are not alive, but certainly have "life cycles" and "die." Have a good one!

      Delete
    4. Getting caught up indeed
      From the rants at our feed
      Orange dumbnuts needs to fly
      Falling far from upon high
      I suppose stars could fit
      Before they blow to many a bit

      Delete
  16. I don't see how any of us can not take advantage of this deal. It's a steal. And I don't have to spin a wheel.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dang, I hope Amazon has it, if not I cannot order!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to get it in stock
      So all can flock

      Delete
  18. My cats say this is a scam and to stay away at my bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They may be right
      Hide under the bed from such fright

      Delete
  19. Don't even talk to me unless it's endorsed by Dr. Oz, but if it is, then I'll hand you my credit card and you just keep charging until you're satisfied.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll come all the way here and hand it to me?
      Damn, I better go buy Dr. Oz a fancy cat tree

      Delete
  20. Everyone is always after our credit cards...not to mention our credit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, those numbers they want
      With low low payments they taunt

      Delete
  21. Trust nobody, and trust no thing.
    That's the song I like to sing.
    If a doctor endorsed it, that's even worse
    They're pathetic, just like this verse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pathetic they are
      Stuff em in the trunk of a car

      Delete
  22. We will pass on this offer. We are flat out of money. It is hard for us kitties to earn money you know. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
  23. orlin N casie

    sign uz up... we got lotz oh monopoly cash layin round ta send two thiz dood !!!!! ♥♥☺☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Send away
      Goes to some far away bay

      Delete
  24. I got my car at a used lot
    From salesman whose deals were red hot
    In all of his flurries
    One secret he buries
    Another man’s worries I bought

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you did
      As they were well hid

      Delete
  25. Sorry- I try to never use a credit card for anything. :)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good way to be
      There at your sea

      Delete
  26. Sounds like a deal. Do I have to put up my soul as collateral?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, some vital organs will do
      Maybe just one or two

      Delete
  27. Replies
    1. Easy as can be
      On them we should pee

      Delete
  28. You try it first
    then let us know if it was better or worst. hahaha....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can we not and say we did
      Then we can give our bid

      Delete
  29. What did people do before Easy Pay came along? I guess they didn't fill their lives with meaningless shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they only had what they needed
      Now all kinds of crap is seeded

      Delete
  30. A rare find indeed.Loved the reaad.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I will keep my card
    In case "they" go nuts
    Don't want to deal
    With a thieving putz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then it's a hassle indeed
      To get rid of the deed

      Delete
  32. When my cats yowled, I knew that it was an invite to fight or flight. It's funny when the invite-r had to be the one running away, when they had bitten off more than they could chew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bite off too much
      And have to run before a touch

      Delete