Thursday, May 25, 2017

Purr Empire Part Three With A Voodoo Spree!

     We stared at the house like it was a giant talking mouse. At least we had not seen one of those yet. That would disturb this pet. Plus Disney may try and sue. But hey, we have to tell the story that is true.
     "Drazin thinks it is a good idea to get out of here."
     "I'm with the godly mook." Cassie hissed as the door creaked. Then out came one who squeaked. Her voice had such a high pitch that we instantly knew she was some sort of witch. Turns out we were instantly wrong. She was just another ding dong.
     "Are you my shampoo carrier? Have you brought me my shampoo?" Blabber asked fifty times over. It could have been forty eight times but I lost interest like some rover. How could I not? She squeaked and she looked like some Tarsier Man clone or robot.
     "Is that who Drazin thinks it is?"
     "Thy demon. It is the mouthy, whiny one. But what kind of spell has come upon her?"
     We all jumped back as she took of her head. It turns out the tarsier was rather dead. In this case it was just a suit. She was wearing a furry outfit of one she thought was cute.
     "How dare you say I'm whiny. I just want my shampoo. Did you bring my shampoo? Two kinds I asked for. My hair is so..."
     "And thou says thou aren't whiny." Pat rolled his eyes as Blabber put back on her disguise.
     "Here they come. They are out there watching. Those animals that want to put talking fleas on my knees. I'd rather be peed on." Blabber ran inside and left the door open wide.
     "I think she's more strung out than ever before," Cassie whispered, as we peeked through the door.
     "Drazin can't deal with this nut again. Drazin so hoped she was gone forever. What next? Those annoying beer guys?" Drazin grumbled as I kicked the door shut. I have some power in the hind legs of my little rhyming butt.
     "Now we're safe from prying eyes. Time I took off my disguise." Blabber yanked her furry tarsier suit off and then she began to cackle and cough. She then ripped off her actual skin and did some kind of tornado spin. She revealed herself to be a giant rat. Not sure what Disney will think of that. But she was no friend of the cat. Who can like a giant blabber mouth rat?
     "You've fallen for my trick. I am some slick. You may have made it through my backwards spell but now I will trap you here forever where I dwell."
     "So she really is a witch? Isn't that a..."
     "Quiet, feline. You shall not be fine. I will put a spell on you after I deal with the human two."
     "Drazin doesn't have time for this. The Great God Drazin will handle this stupid witch. Drazin has had enough of witches and blabber mouth, whiny humans and talking fleabags." Drazin marched up to her and tried to ruffle her fur. But that did not end well as she sang her merry spell.
     "Not this bad musical crap again." Pat tried to run away but he fell to his knees as she had her say.
     "Humans are gross, disgusting and mean. They are just so unclean. So with a little bit of magic I will make their life less tragic. A little human toe nail in my pot. Some human spit to add to the plot. Stir it up all nice and neat then these humans will make a tasty treat. I'll boil and cook and roast them tender. I'll even put the extra bits in a blender. You can't waste good human food. That would not be a good attitude. I remain merry with a twinkle in my eye, knowing you humans are sure to die." Blabber hummed and sang her tune on repeat. Her voice was anything but sweet. She was too busy focusing on Drazin and Pat, finding no threat in a cat. That was her mistake. One we are glad she decided to make.
     "That screechy voice is too much." Cassie uncovered her ears and slunk around the shack. She climbed up the potion shelf and gave things a whack. One by one they fell into her pot. The thing began to smell like something had started to rot.
     "What have you done? Are you trying to ruin my fun? This was to be an excellent meal. Now I'll have to eat them raw and give their skin a peel. That is so wasteful to do. But if I must, I must because of you." Blabber ignored Cassie and I still. She must have hit her head falling down a hill. All she could focus on was eating Drazin and Pat. I was having none of that.
     "Hey there, witch. I hate your high pitch. I am going to make you twitch and leave you to die in a ditch." Blabber eyeballed me and I took away her glee. She reached her hands out to grab my neck but that was a failed trek. I ran to the other side of the pot and thanks to Cassie it was jiggling a lot. I gave the thing a nudge at Blabber and she wailed like some giant cat did grab her.
     "My great meal is going to waste. I am turning to paste. This can't be true. Now I need a lot of shampoo."
     "Drazin never wished Drazin was deaf until now." Drazin caught sight of Blabber melting into a pile of goo. He was offended by that too. "And now Drazin wishes Drazin was blind and had no sense of smell. She stinks."
     "She looks like that goop from Ghostbusters 2." Pat covered his nose. All any of us wanted to do was suck up her nasty goo with a vacuum hose.
     "Do you think she was really that whiny human from Gawker Island?" Cassie asked, wondering if Blabber had truly be unmasked.
     "Drazin isn't that lucky. Probably just some voodoo this rat cooked up. Drazin can't believe Drazin is saying such things."
     "Oh, but talking in the third person and saying you're a god every ten seconds, is okay? What a godly mook." Cassie trotted away after having her say.
     "Let's get out of here before I puke and add to her goop." Pat was looking kind of green and so we left that scene. I guess Blabber goo makes him sane because for now he had gotten off the crazy train.
     "I think here is getting out of here before my rhyming rear." My voice shook along with the shack. It felt like we were under an earthquake attack.
     "Great job, fleabag. You kill the yappy witch and now we are going to get sucked into some black hole." Drazin kept complaining as he yanked at the door. The thing would not open to let us explore.
     "Would you rather have been eaten but a giant rat?" Cassie sighed and then covered her eyes as a blinding light circled us like a horde of fireflies.
     And just like that the shack vanished into thin air, taking the Blabber goo to who knows where. Sadly, the ground and lawn and everything went along. I think we were better off listening to her song.
     "What is going on? Are we in some road runner cartoon?"
     We all shared Pat's thought as we floated in the air like some hovering robot. Except we could not move one bit. Our lips could flap and that was it.
     "Godly mook, what did you do now?"
     "Shut up, fleabag. You're the one that threw all that voodoo into the pot."
     "Thy demon shall pay for sure treachery." Pat glared at Drazin without blinking. His crazy voices were once again back to thinking.Yeah, our eyes could not blink one bit. We could not even swallow our spit.
     "So we are stuck like a broken down truck?" I could do nothing else but speak. I could not even take a leak. This was so weird to experience after that glow. I am sure you get that by now though.
     "Fleabag, you moved." Drazin pointed that out to me and that caused me glee. "How did he do that?"
     "Easy as one, two, three. Just follow along with me. A rhyme is all it takes and then you get the shakes." I grinned but that was quickly lost. For into the big hole beneath us I was tossed.
     "I am going to regret this. Holes have given us no bliss. Probably creek full of crap down there because we never catch a break when away from our lair." Cassie sighed and fell into the hole below, knowing we would find a new foe.
     "Drazin hates this rhyming stuff. Of this place Drazin has had enough. Drazin will kill every last critter. This world has made Drazin even more bitter." Drazin's eyes glowed and he fell. He was ticked off, you could just tell.
     "If I fall in poo, I'm going to track down that Blabber goo. Then I'm going to send it to space. That will put on smile on my face." Pat fell down after us all and once again we continued to fall.
     Holes in the ground are becoming our thing. If only we would find some bling. Buried treasure is supposed to be buried after all. But all we find is stuff worse than what you would see in a public bathroom stall. We shall find out what comes to be when we stop falling endlessly.

************************

Wow, Blabber got turned to goo and smelled worse than poo. At least she still cared about her shampoo. Was that the real her at this strange zoo? Who knows with all this world hopping stuff. Keeping up with it can be rough. At least she got to sing a little ditty even with a voice one would pity. Now part three has come to pass from my ever so crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

42 comments:

  1. Excellent part three up to your usual standard. Loved the read.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand loving my shampoo
    Those soapy suds really do
    make my hair healthy and shine
    ain't no way I'm giving up mine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A shampoo nut
      In a stair climbing rut
      With a migraine or two
      And a one eye'd view
      Geez getting wordy now
      The cat will deal somehow

      Delete
  3. As a side note, I recently heard that people in the southern US call it 'woodoo' where they pronounce the v as a w. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never knew that
      But heard it called hoodoo also at my mat

      Delete
  4. Will next time find
    The crew back at the grind
    And Blabber
    All in a lather?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it may
      Who knows what will come to play

      Delete
  5. Blabber goo
    Is no match for Grumpy Goo
    Or Scooby Blue

    Hey, there's a mouse in your post, too
    Now, all you need is a blue suede shoe
    Not a toad
    On the road
    Or a chick
    On a stick....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The shoe came last time
      It may show in a future chime

      Delete
  6. Demons, shampoo, giant rats, and more.
    What a story of fantasy lore.
    At least I hope the tale's only pretend.
    And all will turn out good in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They always seem to win
      With each crazy spin

      Delete
  7. Purr Empire Part Three With A Voodoo Spree!
    Happy being given her shampoo in time really
    Demons and giant rats
    Not making her forget
    Smelling like goo not end of the world was she?

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That goo shined through
      May take some mighty good shampoo

      Delete
  8. When Blabber turns to gooy goo
    All spotted cows can say is moo
    Perky perks along the way
    Drazin said, "I'll save the day"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He'll save the day
      Only if he can do it his way

      Delete
  9. hThat was grear Pat, but anything dealing with shampoo doesn't turn out well here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha run for cover
      Sure not a shampoo lover

      Delete
  10. orlin N cassie....we iz knot sure bout that hole pee versus fleez thing......we gotta think bout that one fora few secondz !! N tell dad sum times lookin green iz knot two bad....incredible hulk, jolly green giant.....both MEGA cash earnerz !! ☺☺☺

    we iz off line for a few sew heerz two an X ray fish kinda week oh end ~ ♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They both sure get lots of cash
      We'd take that green bash

      Delete
  11. Shampoo with goo?/I bet it smelled of poo! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wacky ensues
    Shampoo with goo
    Unique tale to read
    Where next? Take heed

    ReplyDelete
  13. A giant blabber mouth rat. I like it!
    But hey, if you fall in poo, just use some of her shampoo. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May need a ton
      So the smelly stuff don't run

      Delete
  14. Her husband had so much to say
    His mouth would just blah blah all day
    But wife didn’t weep
    For blessing she’d reap
    His blah blah would keep pests away

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep all out
      A way to win the bout

      Delete
  15. Talking flees on knees or peed on....hmmm, decisions, decisions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both would be bad
      One makes you itch like mad

      Delete
  16. Between the goo and the poo and the pee and the fleas
    This tale is giving me the heaves. ☺

    An impressive rhyming story. You have the knack, Mr. Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha heaves for the win
      Works for our crazy rhyming bin

      Delete
  17. What's a person gotta do to get some good smelling shampoo? I'll take a bottle without the goo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No goo coming up
      May want to test it on the pup

      Delete
  18. Another fun read with witcheepoo turning to goo. Fun all around

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ripping off her skin?
    Ew, yuck and ow
    That sounds rather gross
    Can she move? How?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, kinda toast
      She may even roast

      Delete