Friday, May 26, 2017

The Lazy Joy Of The Employ!

The internet sure is great. It is first rate. You can find rats having sex or even turn up a hex. Hey, some search engine nut found me with the former one. And you can also help lazy ass employers a ton.

A resume you say?
What may I ask is that?
Who needs such a display.
You are just a stat.

Go to our site.
Fill out our form.
I assure you it won't bite.
This is our norm.

Answer questions galore.
Give it your best.
You may make it through the door,
If you pass the test.

Otherwise, you'll stay on file.
6 months to be exact.
Then you can hit redial.
Hopefully you're in on the act.

It isn't really a test.
It is more of a getting to know you.
We want to see your zest.
We can tell if you answer with one or two.

Actually we can't.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm just a worker ant.
The computer does that shit.

You are in the system.
Now let the computer factor it all.
We'll slowly twist em.
Scrutinizing each ball.

Actually we won't.
Nope, not one bit.
Sexual harassment we don't.
The computer does that shit.

Write the big long essay.
We want to know you more.
Don't just say hey,
If you want in the door.

In the system with a click.
Your data will be computed.
Wasn't that some slick?
Reading resumes has been muted.

Hiring sure is streamlined more and more. Ever have to fill out some system crap at your shore? They ask stupid things and then if you get picked out, they'll give the same stupid questions in the interview a shout. Redundant much? Yep, more than a touch. Lazy asses let computers do all the work. Gotta have that time saving perk. They are sure taking place in mass. So annoying filling the crap out 50 times over for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

59 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. First to the tape
      No wild scramble at the gate!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. You got on in
      Back to the top for a spin

      Delete
  2. This sounds like I've been through
    Many times in the past.
    But somehow they have given up on me,
    So I'm positive it won't last.

    Enjoy your week-end.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can push on through
      At any old zoo

      Delete
  3. Fill out a form
    Live in a dorm
    Here comes a storm
    It's all the norm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All normal crap
      Across the normal map

      Delete
  4. The Lazy Joy Of The Employ!
    And jokes of interview spoils
    Weird questioning
    No hard feelings
    Set in not making the heart boil

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure not making things grand
      With the crap at hand

      Delete
  5. For better or worse, I've been employed with the same company so long that I've never had to fill out an online resume.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Damn, that's back in the ancient days
      But good not to go through the maze

      Delete
  6. I've filled out one. It wasn't fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pain in the arse
      They sure aren't sparse

      Delete
    2. Agreed for sure, but at least
      I don't have to do more

      Delete
    3. That is a perk
      Screw all the work

      Delete
  7. I don't think I'd ever apply to a company that wouldn't see me personally from the start. I did get a lot of writing clients through internet contacts, but those exchanges were a lot more personal than online applications.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, you'd learn and talk
      No go all auto question gawk

      Delete
  8. Hubby has applied for many a job online
    Does take a bit of time
    But has gotten hired as a result
    Making it very sublime

    Betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Works in the end
      That is fine trend

      Delete
  9. It's easy online
    when each feels other sight
    if not - go find
    a personal contact

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can toss them away
      With nothing personal in display

      Delete
  10. Working at a computer has its challenges. Not the physical labor of some jobs, but it take a mental and physical toll of a different kind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And sure can be physical too
      Posture and the rest with the body it can screw

      Delete
  11. I hear some of the answers to the silly questions are pretty dumb!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they truly are
      Even for a drunk at a bar

      Delete
  12. Where to be in five years?
    I can't plan tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate that one
      They can stuff it, bar none

      Delete
  13. I haven't searched job for years so don't have such experience. But it reminds me of automated phone system! You call and answer so many questions before reaching actual person. Then they ask the SAME question!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, ask or tell you the same crap
      Treating you like a brain dead chap

      Delete
  14. When my daughter was looking a job I helped her make a resume and saw some of the application forms online. Some of them are crazy long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they go on and on
      From dusk to dawn

      Delete
  15. Such a mundane disheartening process. I hate it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate is the right word
      As they are absurd

      Delete
  16. Yup, my daughter had to fill out a really long psychological test online just to apply for a job at a grocery store. Insanity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nuts in can be
      Now I just screw with them at my sea

      Delete
  17. I'm sort of back.
    "Oh, no!" you say.
    "Has anything changed?"
    Nope, I'm still deranged.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deranged is fun
      Knew you'd do a return run

      Delete
  18. Like Alex, my one and only resume lasted. But, I see that is all done on computer. Much easier to reject resumes that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, just say screw you
      And away they go at their zoo

      Delete
  19. True human resources is a thing of the past
    They have no clue how to pick employees who'll last

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not a clue
      That is sure true

      Delete
  20. I've never had to do that but all my children have. It's a crazy, lazy way to sort through applicants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crazy and lazy indeed
      As they barely even read

      Delete
  21. I shouted more than ears could scan
    I even played tunes on a can
    My interview spiel
    For job I’m ideal
    So they made me real garbage man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got to take out the trash
      Hopefully no bad rash

      Delete
  22. resumes are pointless for many places now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, pointless as can be
      At many a sea

      Delete
  23. I have never filled out an online application for myself, for a job, but I've helped someone do it. Does that count? :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I actually haven't applied for a job in 20 years. I love being self employed! I always hated filling out applications. Back in high school I applied for Toy's R Us and I kid you not, I had to fill out a questionnaire that was like 150 questions. Not worth it for minimum wage!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, so not worth it indeed
      As they make you jump through hoops at their feed

      Delete
  25. You can find all kinds of things on the internet! :)
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  26. I fear these long forms are nothing but intelligently designed surveys that we guys in need of jobs are made to fill in desparate times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is all they are
      Get your info and sell it to some guy that wants you to buy a car

      Delete
  27. These forms, all done by computers seems quite sad to me. There are many people that could do a job but never get it because most no longer To interviews or see people...big shame

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, many can do it indeed
      Put stupid crap doesn't give them a chance at any feed

      Delete
  28. I've never had to look for a job
    They've always fallen into my lap
    Can't imagine pounding the pavement
    And having to deal with interview crap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crap it truly is
      Hate the crappy biz

      Delete