Saturday, June 10, 2017

Isn't It Grand To Get A Hand?

The cat is getting handsy today. Don't go calling the SPCA. Or any other acronym thing. They don't need you to give their toll free number a ring. They'll just hand you off anyway. Okay, time for hands on play.

Who types and stands?
Give me a show of hands.
I can't see to teach.
You're out of hands reach.

I've got a hot hand now.
My win will really wow.
I lost by my own hand.
But I still took a dump in the sand.

Could use an extra pair of hands.
An octopus from far away lands.
Then I'd be ever so rare,
Going hand in hand at my lair.

Handsy with myself?
Could impress a pervert elf.
Just go hand over hand.
Hey, I never said go near a certain gland.

Wander hands may enjoy it though.
Where they wander I don't know.
Taking matters into ones own hands.
May want to be beneath the stands.

My left hand doesn't know what the right is doing.
Even if I'm out canoeing?
Why would I be hands on with that?
Canoeing doesn't equal fun for the cat.

Is one hand tied behind your back?
Kinky there at your shack.
Better than sitting on your hands.
That sure wouldn't work for bands.

The Hand Sitters.
Bet they'd be spitters.
If the band spits on you.
Hand to hand combat may come due.

I bet you'd get the upper hand.
Just make sure it is planned.
Or you may have your ass handed to you.
Now that truly would be ewww.

Looking for a hand out?
Go talk to the trout.
I am waited on hand and foot.
So I'll just hand you the bill and stay put.

Did you give me a hand? There are a few ways that can land. I have to hand it to you. You got hands on at my zoo. If a comment was handy. Otherwise you may have gotten mad there was no candy. I never said I'd hand anything out. What is handing an ass about? Do they rip off the buns and hand it over? Damn, that shouldn't even be done to rover. Did things get out of hand? Are you confused in your land? I think I'll hand it off to Cass. She can change hands with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

55 comments:

  1. I'll give you a hand
    For your handy post
    Lots of hands around
    Tickled at your coast

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tickled may be a finger
      But the hand still needs to linger

      Delete
    2. There you go
      both handy
      at your show

      Delete
  2. Speaking of ass, I never understood the phrase, 'Your ass is grass'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, kinda dumb
      Do you knock them on the grass and drag them by the bum

      Delete
  3. Just hand over the Mini-Alex buried in the litter box and no one gets hurt...

    ReplyDelete
  4. No handouts in life it would seem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never liked hand me down clothes as a kid

      Delete
    2. Nothing will be handed
      Have to make your own things be landed

      Delete
  5. Yes, I've got to hand it to you, you've covered it all!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm clapping my hands for you.
    An award for your rhyming is surely due.
    Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An award with dough?
      That would be fine in tow

      Delete
  7. Can't imagine typing standing up
    Would get tired of it after a bit
    I rather type as I sit

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it is a pain
      So avoid that lane

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Where's me ship matey.. lol

      Reminds me of pirates

      Delete
    2. Then what would get done?
      Do they give the feet a run?

      Delete
  9. Don't hand me no line
    Don't hand me no story
    Don't want words to get out of hand

    How about this one "talk to the hand"
    Lol...so may handy sayings

    Have a good day hope the sun comes to stay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Talk to the hand
      May still not be grand
      For unless earplugs are due
      They can still rant to you lol

      Delete
  10. I'm sure Jaime Lannister will give you a hand

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has a spare
      Metal in need of repair

      Delete
  11. Isn't It Grand To Get A Hand?
    A thing worth the while to spend
    Get the upper hand
    Wave them the fan
    Then they'll know what you meant

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Staying on the up
      Prevents a handy hiccup

      Delete
  12. Jazz hands for you (I'll stick them out my sunroof in the car)
    Happy Saturday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't hit bird poop
      When going jazzy for a loop

      Delete
  13. Writing while standing?/Are you serious or bragging? :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Who'd a thought you could do so much with hands:)
    Kudos. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Replies
    1. Can i hand it out
      Or would that make you shout?

      Delete
  16. This conversation got way out of hand. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it did
      Hands up all around to bid

      Delete
  17. Ha, and then there is Mr. trump with his "small hands." I know he wishes they were "bigly."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That he may
      With the small on display

      Delete
  18. He took his dear wife by the hand
    And shared with her evening so grand
    And when he was through
    When asked her review
    Said next time let’s do as you planned

    ReplyDelete
  19. At least I don't have Man Hands or Seinfeld would run away from me like I'm Kesha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha remember that one
      That was spun

      Delete
  20. Clap your hand
    To beat the band
    Point to the sky
    The answer is why.

    ReplyDelete
  21. If ya give me a hand
    I might strike up the band.
    Second thought, no Judy Garland here
    Or Mickey Rooney I fear.
    They are gone and all I hear
    Are the songs they sing
    All hands on deck, to see what these 2 can bring

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure had it made
      In the shade
      Each given a hand
      Across the land

      Delete
  22. A pervert elf you say?
    Do they have them at your bay?
    Never seen one myself
    I mean, a pervert elf....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never seen a one
      Even when the happy humpers are spun

      Delete
  23. You certainly have fun with idioms, Pat! I could use an extra pair of hands today, because things have a way of getting out of hand for me.

    ReplyDelete