Saturday, September 30, 2017

It Will So Ignore The Chill!

You know it is coming. I have a daily drumming. At least up until now. Hey, one day I may not post and wow. I have to croak sometime or maybe get a life that doesn't rhyme. The former will happen and so starts this rappin.

May and will.
Each a thrill.
Each a curse.
Not sure which is worse.

But one is right,
Here in sight.
The other wrong,
Yet many play along.

It will happen...
They keep yappin.
Like bippity boppity boo,
And poof, happens to you.

Yep, that is right.
Like a unicorn in sight.
It is oh so correct.
Should get no neglect.

It will happen...
Keep on a flappin.
I'll go and do,
And simply ignore you.

Taxes and death,
Your last breath.
That "will" happen.
The IRS will come a tappin.

But the rest.
Ha, you're a pest.
A positive pest,
But a pest at best.

You'll find a spouse.
You'll get a house.
You'll get a great job.
Your spouse won't be a slob.

You'll magically change.
Your life will arrange.
You'll even win big.
So come and dance a jig.

It will happen...
Keep that foot a tappin.
Just hear my continued yappin.
It's so true when I say it will happen.

Yeah, and I'll sprout wings and fly. I'll be a flying rhyming guy. Then I'll shoot flames from my eyes. A flaming, flying, rhyming guy in the skies. I'll also gain speed from super gas. A farting, flaming, flying, rhyming guy with sass. Hey, it will happen. Okay, I'll stop flappin. Do you use the it will happen pass? Pffft and what I just said will happen to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 29, 2017

30 Miles With Plenty Of Piles!

The cat didn't even know these were still a thing until they wanted to go at that other wing. Then he got roped in. Or rather Pat did with an out and about spin. I stayed in bed and avoided that dread.

Don't be squirrely.
Get up early.
Skip your meal.
You have to get that deal.

The good won't last.
Be a thing of the past.
Early bird gets the whatever.
Worms are even more clever.

Whelmed you aren't able.
That is just a fable.
Push, shove and grab.
A deal you may nab.

You have to be quick.
That's the trick.
Get a deal by the ton.
Don't walk, run!

Get to the next table.
Push the others if able.
If not crawl to it.
You need to get that shit.

So hit the trail.
Get to each yard sale.
Even if they are on the street,
And the yard part is left in defeat.

Can't go slow.
There is 30 miles to go.
They are so long,
You'll sing a happy song.

Finding that deal.
Touch and feel.
Know it's just right.
Buy it just for spite.

Drive, stop and....crash.
Isn't it a bash?
Idiots pulling off each way.
A deal could be on display.

Pffft first and last time for that. Sure did not impress the cat. Nuts were about every which way and mostly crap was on display. But oh, let's get the deal. It's a deal that is real. 30 miles of them too. Whoops, after driving more like 1 or 2. Maybe even half a mile. Ever turn such a yard sale dial? If not you may want to stick with taking a pass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Don't Get Lost In The Cost!

Boy, that was cheap. Aren't you ready to take the leap? Am I getting ahead? This post hasn't been put to bed? Why would I put a post in bed? That needed to be said.

Look at this deal.
It is so for real.
You get all of this for that.
So cheap where you are at.

No, the fee is flat.
So don't be a dingbat.
Get it today,
Before it goes away.

$50 a month isn't bad.
You can afford that at your pad.
Just like the other stuff.
You can never get enough.

We've got you trained.
Whoops, income got drained.
Now it may be tough.
But don't you love your stuff?

Oh, it broke.
Sorry about that bloke.
Your warranty doesn't cover it.
In other words, tough shit.

But you can throw it away.
Although you still have to pay.
Can't get out of that.
Who cares if you can't feed the cat.

You could fix it too.
Only $5000 to do.
That is just so cheap.
Come now, take the leap.

That's only $99.99 every other week.
You can give it a peek.
Beats throwing it away.
Either way, you'll still pay.

There you are.
Fixed that car.
Or what was it?
I can't remember that bit.

But it was cheap,
And you took the leap.
Oh, it broke once more?
That's only $4386.54 to fix at your shore.

Things are so cheap, right? Until the budget gets tight. Or you make the budget tight by letting such things take flight. Then comes the added cost and soon everything is lost. Or at least the bank account has a far less amount. But oh it was sooooooo cheap. Ever take such a leap? I'll stick to the singing bass. If he breaks, I'll just chew on him with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

The Power Of Brand Across The Land!

You humans sure stick to this and that like your shoe would to dog scat. That is hard to get off by the way. Or at least that's what I heard Pat say. Beats bare feet though. Okay, away we go.

Stick to this.
Stick to that.
Can't go amiss.
You might go splat.

But there's the might.
There's the not.
Might ain't right.
There's the plot.

Might could be wrong.
Might could be right.
But just play along,
Same day, same night.

Complain anyway.
That you like.
Have your say,
But walk, don't hike.

Want the new.
But watch the old.
How dare you,
Let new take hold.

That's your brand.
Just like it's "your" team
We've unspun that strand,
So I'll let you dream.

You can't cheat.
Yeah, like a brand would know.
Need that same treat.
Even if it is so so.

Other could be worse.
Other could be better.
Can't risk a curse.
I may need to write a letter.

Email may be the way.
But that's for another day.
I'll still get my say.
My brand is here to stay.

Reboot the brand.
It's still alive.
Redos are at hand.
Or would that be sequel #5?

How can other brands ever becomes brands if people stick to the same old stands? And then people are given the same brands with movies and such, whining more than a touch, but they go for a view. Yep, that is really going to get something new. Each movie, book, product, etc. was new at some point. Are you stuck on brand power at your joint? The cat has no need to follow the mass so you'll never brand my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall. 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Way To Be At Your Certain Sea!

Did you know you humans are certain of things? Yeah, we went down that road in my past blog wings. So that you know. But did you know there was another certain blow?

Certain is the way.
The way of the day.
The way of life.
Not for husband or wife.

Nope, for the kid.
Certain isn't hid.
Everything comes to be.
Certain it is for each kiddie.

Certain at five,
School is your hive.
Depending on birthday date,
But still a certain fate.

Certain at six,
There are no tricks.
Next grade will come due.
Don't even need a clue.

Certain if marks are high,
Through the grades you'll fly.
Sometimes even if they're not.
Get pushed through with the lot.

Certain you'll graduate.
Through it you'll skate.
There is no caper.
Walk up and grab the paper.

Certain you'll go somewhere.
Certain you'll have education to spare.
Certain of the cost.
That certainly isn't lost.

Certain you'll take each class.
Certain you'll pass.
With high marks you did.
Certain wins the bid.

Certain is a way of life.
Built in with no strife.
Certain you'll get a job when you're done.
Applying.......Whoops, so ends your certain fun.

The programming is through.
Nothing is certain for you.
Except taxes and death.
Certainly you may need to take a breath.

Ever think about that? Popped in for the cat. Kids are so certain and it is programmed into them after a few decades or so. Then whoops, the real world strikes a blow. Certain gets chucked away and uncertainty comes into play. To such a wake up call we give sass. Certain, for some things, is liked way more by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Get Ready To Throw And Ho Ho Ho!

We need to get it done. This post must be spun. It just has to be. Bah, that I can see. I don't want to think about it. Nope, not one bit. So I'll fix that. I'll follow a human stat.

Today I can't post.
Nope, not at my coast.
I just can't work.
That is so not a perk.

The keyboard is screwed.
It is being rude.
Or maybe it's me.
I'm not telling thee.

Here you go.
I rhyme from a foe.
I paid them off.
Come now, don't scoff.

I can rhyme.
I keep time
I can rhyme.
I keep time.

Wow, that was a perk.
Hmm, maybe needs work.
I'll throw more money at it.
We can't have it be shit.

I can rhyme more.
I get an encore.
I can rhyme more.
I get an encore.

That was sad.
It's borderline bad.
Maybe a bit more dough.
I don't know though.

I can rhyme more more.
I get an encore encore.
I can rhyme more more.
I get an encore encore.

That gave me a rash.
I need to find more cash.
Here, have some more.
I know you can soar.

I can rhyme more more more.
I get an encore encore encore.
I can rhyme more more more.
I get an encore encore encore.

I somehow don't think it got fixed. I guess that idea is nixed. You humans have such dumb ideas at your sea. Good thing I have no money anyway to go on a spree. Do you just throw money at it and hope it gets fixed? That idea may need to be deep sixed. Sometimes it crumbles like glass. That would hurt if it stuck in my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

A Remembering Plot Or Not!

The cat looks here and there and all registers at our lair, but do we remember all at every moment of every day? Pffft we aren't an elephant at our bay. Some days in they won't click. Others they shall some slick.

A remembering time.
Easy as can be.
It is a crime,
If not done by thee.

A crime just because.
Because you never thought.
Oh look, some fuzz.
I've forgotten that plot.

You were on the go.
Making sure life stayed sane.
But oh know,
Forgot one thing in your brain.

That is so bad.
So bad of you.
I'm now mad.
So mad I'll moo.

It's the end of times.
Cats and dogs as one.
Everyone loves mimes.
There will be no more fun.

It was only one time.
One time it slipped your mind.
But that is a crime.
Who cares about the grind.

I remembered it.
So should you.
You have the wit.
But you haven't a clue.

I never said a word.
I still remembered though.
You are just a lazy turd.
Tonight you'll eat crow.

Literally eat it.
That's all for you.
Hear my fit.
Every word is true.

It is all up to me.
I remembered every bit.
That plant you can clearly see,
You forgot to water it.

Ever get someone nag at you like that? When with all their whining they could have done the task in no time flat? I've seen it a time or two. Many get upset about the stupidest things coming due. It's especially dumb when someone has a ton of things on the go. They can't remember every little thing every minute of every day at their show. Yet upset one surely turns to instead of just turning to do. Do it and it's done, no need for poor you to be spun. Do you hold a grudge against such a lad or lass? Pffft is all that can be said by my once in a blue moon forget to remember little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Time To Appease The Many Fleas!

The movies can't be good. Nope, can't just make them like that at any hood. That is just uncalled for. They may then actually be worth an encore. We have to stick to the script. The one that you don't see flipped.

Here you go.
Tied in a bow.
Before you start,
Fill the cart.

Your idea is great.
But all can't relate.
You need more.
So open the door.

Time to appease.
Appease the fleas.
You need them all.
Follow the ball.

Damn if it's good.
Who cares if it's understood.
That isn't our goal.
Have to appease the whole.

A character must be gay.
That is just the way.
You must add them in.
It's a must for a win.

A character must be Latino, Asian and Black.
We don't want any flack.
Plus we have to appeal to the Chinese market.
Want them to fill the seats and park it.

Wait, it's an all color cast?
That won't last.
Throw a white guy in.
Force it so we win.

A character must have muscles.
Can even be from Brussels.
Don't forget the shirt off scenes.
Can be with or without jeans.

A character must have big breasts and be skinny.
She can have a stupid name like Babs or Winnie.
She doesn't even need to talk.
We just want people to come and gawk.

What was that?
This movie feels flat?
Who cares, it has it all.
That is all we need so follow the bouncing ball.

You can so tell when they force such things. Nothing but puppeteers pulling strings. If it is part of the story, great, add it in. Otherwise pfffft is all I can say at my bin. Do you force characters or such in just to appease? The cat can give some extra audience of fleas. I'm sure they are around here somewhere in mass. There may even be one waiting to view on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Without A Flaw In the Claw!

Let's lay down the law. There can't be a flaw. Nope, not a single one. That would just make many run. Flaws are soooo bad. Can't have them at any pad. Nope, not one bit. They aren't a hit.

Everything is great.
Everything is grand.
I've got the perfect mate.
The perfect ring on my hand.

Everything is swell.
Everything is good.
I never misspell.
I'm always understood.

Everything is neat.
Everything is rad.
I've nothing to delete.
I've done nothing bad.

Everything is super.
Everything is nice.
I haven't a blooper.
I need no advice.

Everything is here.
Everything is there.
I've got a perfect ear.
I've got perfect hair.

Everything is ready.
Everything is done.
I remain steady,
No matter what's spun.

Everything is wise.
Everything is right.
I always win first prize.
I'm a perfect sight.

Everything is high.
Everything is tops.
I don't ever have to try,
Nothing ever flops.

Everything is true.
Everything is firm.
I am so above you.
I've aced every term.

Everything is great.
Everything is grand.
You cannot relate.
Such perfection can't be planned.

Not even the cat is that stuck up. I'd rather deal with a pup. Know any humans like that? They scare the cat. If you don't think you have a flaw in anything at all. You may need a smack to the head as a wake up call. Flaws are more fun anyway. Perfection is pretty much nonexistent in everything on display. But some still like to believe it within their perfect class. No flawless record or flawless anything else for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

The Can't Afford Chokes On A Cord!

What was that? You can't afford it where you are at? Yeah, that million dollar house is probably out of reach. I don't think you'll be flying off to space to teach. But what was that? You can't afford "that" is still your chat?

Can't afford a 2 dollar ticket.
I think I'll picket.
That I can't do.
Nope, can't afford one or two.

Can't afford a 50 cent bar.
Not good at ones and bar.
But doesn't matter to me.
Can't afford it you see.

Can't afford a shoe lace.
Nope, I just can't embrace.
I have to walk in bare feet,
As I go down the street.

Can't afford a bucket.
Yeah, $3 I say fluck it.
That is far too much money.
No, I'm not being funny.

Can't afford a toe nail clipper.
Hey, at least they look chipper.
My zombie feet are in.
Don't you think them a win?

I can afford a cruise.
And with it much booze.
That is so great.
I got to be first mate.

I can afford a $100 cell phone bill.
That is such a thrill.
I can be connected everywhere.
Unless in a deep, dark bear lair.

I can afford a $10 coffee with ease.
I buy them whenever I please.
They are just soooo good.
I won't share in my hood.

I can afford designer clothes.
I can even get a new nose.
Don't I look good striking a pose?
Look at my manicured toes.

I can afford the latest trend.
Not having it may offend.
I need to get it first.
That old one may burst.

A bit of a conundrum there. Pfffft to such humans at their lair. Are you one that cries poverty at your sea when it is clearly the fault of thee? Hopefully not. The cat would make fun a lot. There are a ton of those though. Oh no, a 10 dollar haircut I can't afford at my show. But oh yes, a $5000 designer bag I can afford because it has class. Pfffft again to such humans says my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Time For Play All One Way!

The cat plays two way here and there. Mostly with Cassie at our lair. But I eat the dog for fun. That is more one way as I bite his bun. Seems to be one way a lot though. But still fun for me, don't you know.

This is my play.
They didn't see it that way.
I guard the hallway.
No one getting through is play.

Oh, I see more.
I give a roar.
They give me a few glares.
Then they go back downstairs.

I'm still playing one way
I'm having my say.
Thinking how I will play with your toes,
While I strike a pose.

 Cassie wants in.
She'll take one way for a spin.
A little whack near,
And howling I could hear.

She did not care.
 In one way play all is fair.
Even standing on his house.
Or treating him like a mouse.

 Staring at him works too.
Look at his angry view.
Isn't that fun to see?
One way play amuses me.

Get even closer still.
That is sure a thrill.
He's got nowhere to run. 
Stuck with her fun.

 Did you wail?
Oh look, my tail.
I bet I can get that in.
Time to go for the win.

 See? Shadow's on the wall.
That means she won it all.
She is standing tall.
The other guy isn't having a ball.

Grumpy he is still.
Cassie got a thrill.
 Now time to stretch.
One way play sure beats fetch.

Do you do one way play? What? It's fun for the one way player at any bay. The grumpy guy didn't want to join in for a playing fit. I guess he's too old for that shit. Cassie was more annoying to him than me. I better up my game at our sea. I can't be out shined by Cass. I will have to be a more one way playing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

It's Official Now So Doesn't It Wow?

You can count on me to bring you everything at my sea. Who needs products that are great? These ones have been proven to be top rate. That is all you need to know. I'll even tell you so.

Pee Water, The Official Water of Dogs.
Nope, not those lazy hogs.
You can be sure it is great,
Because mutts take the bait.

Flip Flops, The Official Shoe of Texas Rangers.
Damn, they'll sure stop dangers.
It's official so buy, buy, buy.
Off the shelves they will fly.

Moose Print Bed Sheets.
The Official Sheets of The Streets.
Millions of streets vouch for these.
Buying them should be a breeze.

Piss Warm Beer.
The Official Beer Of Doctors Who Study The Ear.
We were too lazy to look up the correct name.
But 100% we back our claim.

Walkie Talkies, The Official Communication Means of The NSA.
Now doesn't that just make your day?
You'll have to get them next time you're out.
Antique stores may be about.

Trees With Branches.
The Official Trees of Cow Ranches.
So that is how they grow.
It is always good to know.

Butt Cracks and Shopping Carts.
The Official Product of All Wal-Marts.
Hmm, that one wasn't very new.
I think everyone has seen that view.

Alarm Clocks, The Official Clocks of Bosses.
My, they sure don't want to suffer losses.
Bosses everywhere want them sold.
Alarm clocks are pure gold.

Chewed Gum Under A Seat.
The Official Gum For An Early Childhood Treat.
And best of all it is free.
Hmm, I think we'll go back to the tree.

A Filled Up Litter Box.
The Official Box of The Makers of Socks.
Because then they'll get you to buy more.
Hey, can't help if we miss at our shore.

I have so many more to share. You can email me and I'll send you thousands at your lair. These Official products really help you to buy. Who cares if they aren't used by the Official girl, team, or guy. They have The Official in the name. So that is all you need to light your flame. Pfffft and I'm really a singing bass. So says The Official little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Upped Our Game All The Same!

The cat's goal was done with last years run. But I guess I'm just as mouthy as can be and you just can't stop me. At least not yet. You humans provide plenty of material to this pet.

I've missed this.
I've missed that.
Given plenty a hiss,
Chewed plenty of fat.

I've skipped a chore,
I've skipped a day.
I went out to explore,
Damn the 9-5 bay.

I've skipped a day of writing,
At least here and there.
Hey, had to do some fighting,
With the cats at the other lair.

I've missed a movie.
I've missed a show.
It may have been groovy,
Later I gave it a go.

I've skipped eating.
I've skipped shopping.
Something needed completing,
Or maybe some cropping.

I've skipped a meeting.
I've skipped a class.
Both were so fleeting,
And boring to my rhyming ass.

I've skipped a trip,
I've skipped a move.
Don't give me lip,
Of moving crap I don't approve.

I've missed a deal.
I've missed a job.
At least I'm no seal,
Or some kind of slob.

I've missed a sign.
I've missed a bird.
Lost never did align,
And death to the flying rat wasn't the word.

I've missed
Whoops, nope not yet.
At least for 6 years at my coast.
Damn, I'm one mouthy pet.

Today makes 6 years that I have not missed a day. I have before way way way back at my bay. But the cat was finding his groove back then. Spelling was scary too back then at my den. Have you ever posted every day at your bay? I know a few who do, at least when the a to z comes into view. I guess we'll see how long I can pass daily verbal gas, as the goal was already met last year of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

A Single Look, Hook Or By Crook!

Don't look anywhere else today. Stare at what I say. You are going to repeat it everywhere. Are you ready to stare? You can't talk about anything else to anyone. Remember, that's not part of the fun.

This just in,
Famous Bloke no one cares about got a new chin.
Now they care.
Now you stare.

Now you know.
Tell it to friend and foe.
Don't skip a beat.
Tell it to all on the street.

This just in,
Famous Bloke we care about got a new chin.
We heard it already.
But it still comes steady.

You still must tell.
Such news does sell.
Tell and tell everyone.
Write stories on it by the ton.

This just in.
Famous Bloke receives new chin.
You may have heard it before.
But it deserves an encore.

Isn't it great?
Such a fine trait.
Don't forget to tell.
Spreading news is swell.

This just in.
Famous Bloke bought new chin.
That is wowing.
Sure beats new eye browing.

That's not a word.
But don't be absurd.
Talk about the chin.
Not to is a sin.

This just in.
Famous Bloke improved his chin.
That is so neat.
Doesn't it look sweet?

Even the cabbie knows.
Your focus sure shows.
World War 3 is at hand.
What was that? Oh yes, his chin is grand.

Wow, you humans focus on one thing 1000 times over. You have a worse attention span than rover. 500 channels and 1,000,000 sites and they all say the same thing. With a new chinned bloke do you want to have a fling? What does it matter anyway? Wowweeee that is something to talk about at any bay. I just passed some stinky gas. Feel free to spread the word about my gassy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

A Not In The Know High Or Low!

The cat has seen it a time or ten. By now what haven't I seen at my den? I'm sure there is probably quite a bit. I have yet to see real alien spit. But who'd want to see that? Hey, could have healing properties you can market where you are at. I better stop. This could make too much writing up top.

Keep on a going.
The same old showing.
It may be bad.
You may get mad.

No fun is had.
Back to bad.
Worse and worse.
You just curse.

Keep on a going.
Whoops, did that flowing.
But it keeps growing.
That showing of knowing.

Knowing nowhere is there.
Nowhere to spare.
Nowhere is somewhere.
But pulls out your hair.

Bald and mad.
Lex Luthor is had.
At least you got dough,
If that were so.

On we go.
That you know.
Because we're you.
Confusing at my zoo.

That we know.
So eat crow.
They are tasty.
Enough time umm wasty.

The end is near.
Still bad I fear.
So let's keep on going,
With this showing.

Sinking deeper into a pit.
How about that shit?
Let's keep on going.
We'll get our showing.

Our relationship will magically work.
You magically won't be a jerk.
I'll magically get a promotion.
Can't board the quitting motion.

Pfffft is all the cat has to say. Quitting is fine in many a way. Shifting gears it will allow you and new can come due. Or at least a change of scene. Why beat a dead horse, besides it being mean? Just because something didn't reach the finish line doesn't mean you didn't learn. New ideas and things you can earn. So sometimes quitting must come to pass. On that you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Need A Mate For A Halloween Date?

The cat figured he would help you out early so by then you don't get squirrely. I mean it is only a month and a half away. You may need time to sort through this oh so great display.

n9t veey sociable keep to myself alot
And redundant too with the your plot.
replys only if interested to kno more hmu
Run on sentences still come with acronyms due.

no idea what you are looking for no idea on my time
Damn, are you a new kind of repeating mime?
Looking for some who has their head on their shoulders
Contrary to some beliefs, it doesn't roll anywhere else like boulders.

I love a man with a nice peard
So staring at you isn't weird?
Love anything ufos and I want to be abducted
Any man may find that a little obstructed.

If I could rescue all the animals at the SPCA... I totally would
The cat crosses you off immediately at our hood.
Painting boardgames are some of my favorite things
So you paint two at a time in the wings? 

None smoker ,drinker & none drug user 
But are you a Non abuser?
very organized put together
Too bad your sentences I can't weather. 

to ne me of not to be me
Is that a question from thee?
live for cuddles with my dog
Even when it leaves you a brown log? 

So, here I am. And there you are, somewheres out there
That is very astute of you at your lair. 
enjoy company no where it takes us
Going nowhere may cause a fuss

Going out and also easy
Now to some that may be pleasy.
mild mannered and fun
Someone may sue for that one

No drama and stress
So one or the other no more or less?
founditinthe ditch
Ain't that a bitch.
Lying as you board the whiny...bus.
Permanent is my goal
Will you stuff me like a pet troll?

And there you are. Now you can get a date at your sand bar. You may have to travel far but aren't they worth it to hop in your car? Don't you want one all for you? Heck, it's for Halloween, try for two. Double the crazy mass. I would skedaddle the hell out of there with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

A Little Tax Just Relax!

Some people go nuts like dogs do to butts. They are taxing that? How can they where they are at? That is just wrong. And they go further along the same old song.

Sugary drinks taxed?
In it's been faxed.
That is such a shame.
You pay more for the obesity game.

A helmet law?
Now that's raw.
Who wants to protect their head?
That just causes dread.

A speed limit?
Can't they dim it?
I want to go really fast.
It would be, literally, a blast.

A carbon tax?
Let's make tracks.
Fossil fuels are always the way.
Who cares about global warming today?

Bah, let's get rid of it all.
Toss it down the hall.
Watch it roll into the garbage chute.
Let's all remain mute.

Sugar isn't taxed.
Our limit is maxed.
Diabetes and diseases galore.
Wait, hasn't that come ashore?

No helmets needed.
Not cool to be deeded.
Brain damage is swell though.
I'm now too dumb to know.

Speed limits gone.
Hell, drive on the lawn.
Car accidents on the rise.
Humans dropping like flies.

Carbon stays this way.
Fossil fuels are here to stay.
Damn, they all ran dry.
Now all we can do is pray upon high.

Bah, let's keep them in.
Humans comply to win.
Change actually comes due.
A helmet actually saves brain cell or two.

Ever think of it like that? Humans are stupid where they are at. If left to their own will many would end up in a landfill. But by taking away the choice of it, whether or not it causes a fit, little by little some change may take place. Don't like the tax? Don't join the diabetes race. Poor, poor you will make it through. Now I'm taxed at my zoo. It's taxing giving humans sass. I'll go take a nap with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Ever The Cheap Kinda Creep!

The cat watched some things arrive here and there. I saw them easily at my lair. They were packaged good except for a few. Why? Because a great deal came due.

Wrapped and ready.
Shipment come steady.
It's almost there.
But buyer beware.

While established is grand,
Across most of the land.
In comes the cheap,
The cheap kinda creep.

Have a great deal.
A real steal.
You save some dough.
How is it so low?

Why we skimp on shipping.
Your liquid is dripping.
Your glass is smashed.
It all needs to be trashed.

Better shipping at the dump.
But don't be a grump.
Because you got a deal.
It was such a steal.

Sorry, no refund allowed.
But you can stand proud.
You just saved money.
That makes all sunny.

See our auto reply?
Don't sit and sigh.
We are too busy for you.
That's all that will come through.

The touch of cheap.
A lazy hop not leap.
Who needs the hassle?
We don't live in a castle.

You got it at cost.
The shipping was tossed.
Tossed and flipped.
You never even tipped.

So enjoy the pieces.
It was for your nieces?
Our reply robot feels your pain.
Hey, we also ship by plane.

That just popped out as I saw such packages about. How can anyone get repeat business with such crap? Their packing looks like it has the clap. Ever get bad packages like that where you are at? Did they spill, break or smash like glass? That would sure annoy the hell out of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Likely Not With This Plot!

The whole world likes to yap. That is not news to any chap. They yap and yap and yap some more. I better stop yapping before I bore. But about the weather they chat, about you they probably won't chew the fat.

Whether old or young,
You may never be stung.
Stung like the rich.
Those out like a glitch.

Many know their name.
They have so called fame.
The right moment in time,
They beat out a mime.

But for every one,
100,000 nos are spun.
The rest have to fight.
Fight to survive the night.

Those around know.
Whether friend or foe.
Can touch each one,
With your daily run.

Making a difference near.
Things most will never hear.
But at the end of the day,
You do it anyway.

It could be the middle.
But let's not diddle.
Diddle about I mean.
Don't go gutter at your scene.

You'll never be like them.
Dripping out golden phlegm.
When you whine no one will hear,
Except those willing to lend an ear.

No one will stalk you,
Unless a crazy lives near your zoo.
No one may take what you say as true.
Of you, most won't have a clue.

No water cooler talk.
Most won't gawk.
Most won't bow down,
Like you have a golden crown.

Fighting for each day,
May always be the way.
But come what may,
In the fight you'll stay.

Is the cat a downer today? Nah, just had that to say. The fight needs to be done as each new day is spun. It can happen to one out of the 100,000 that are spun. Yeah, I pulled that number from my butt. Stats sure are fun at any hut. Most of us may have to walk across broken glass as we remain in the mass. But that glass can be pushed away with gas, like the kind that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Hire To Write So I Can Ignite!

Some humans really need a kick to the head. Wouldn't hurt the cat any if they fell dead. At least for a few seconds or so. Like Flatliners, you know? I'm not that mean here at my scene.

I need a writer.
I need one quick.
A real nail biter,
Who can write some slick.

I have an college essay due.
I can't get it done.
I'll pay you $5 too.
Doesn't it sound fun?

I have entry papers.
I really want to get in.
We aren't committing capers.
I just want to give being a Dr. a spin.

I need my thesis written.
It must be well researched.
I'll buy you a kitten,
Or a bird to be perched.

I have a paper due.
It's all about me.
I would like to hire you,
To make it come to be.

There is a second one.
It's on my personal thoughts.
Can you give it a run?
I bet when writing my thoughts you have lots.

I have a personal experience book.
It must be written grand.
Won't you write it at your nook?
I'll then sell it across the land.

My memoirs need to be written.
They are totally fake.
But fans will be smitten.
Care to partake?

My personal blog needs a writer.
Can you post each day?
Maybe even pull an all nighter.
I'll give 50 cents as pay.

I need a writer fast.
This job would last.
It will be a blast.
But first sign a waiver as you aren't part of the cast.

Now don't you want to go and write personal stuff for some nut? Doesn't that sound like a fun rut? Who wouldn't want a Dr. that can't write their own thoughts? I mean, I'd really really trust them lots. Pfffffft to such lazy sobs at any sea. On them I'd like to take a pee. Whole new level to dog ate my homework as they hire writers to forgo that perk. Some people also actually help it come to pass. Those are graduates that are scary to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Get Ready To Start And Grab A Cart!

The cat shall sit and lick. Hey, grooming does the trick. Then I can get hair all over the place. I laugh when it gets in your face. All from I starting to lick. Aren't I a bit of a snip snipped dick?

Boo hoo, you can't win.
Never took a spin.
Now that's a sin.
Where to begin?

Just begin.
No big win.
No big mention.
Letting the beginning get attention.

May start to fail.
You may wail.
But fail to start,
And you're a fart.

Less than a fart.
Some other non essential part.
An appendix are you.
At least a fart relief can come due.

All roads start.
All fall apart.
The cracks may show,
A tire may blow.

But within the crack,
Learn something you lack.
Or break your momma's back.
That may cause flack.

Continue and learn.
Growth at each turn.
Unless you turn back.
But some points you still rack.

Began and tried.
Went for a ride.
Life gave to you,
Whether you think it true.

Failed or not.
Added to the plot.
Took away from it all.
You may even stall.

But you went.
Didn't pitch a tent.
And what do you know?
You began to go.

Afraid of beginning? Well you won't end up winning. It may take forever in a day, but can't shorten forever if you don't play. A simple beginning can go a long way even if a bumpy road comes into play. All this talk about roads at my sea. You'd think they were walked by me. Nah, don't want to be like the chicken and turned into a flat mass. I will stay inside with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

A Detecting In Expecting!

The cat had another stupid saying come to pass. They said it and I gave a little sass. More like just a wise crack or two. I guess that is the same thing at ones zoo.

Here we go.
Time for a show.
Bring on the day.
Come what may.

Nope, not that.
Might fall flat.
Could get rabies from a rat.
Did you expect that?

Well expect the unexpected.
Umm, wouldn't that get objected?
For the unexpected has been inspected.
A new saying needs to be erected.

For with a little expecting,
You've gone on detecting.
Unexpected your neglecting,
So there is no unexpecting.

Did your mind bend?
That's an expected trend.
The cat likes to confuse.
It sure does amuse.

You expected it though.
You expected my flow.
That's to be expected.
Nothing to be corrected.

Unexpected gets affected.
Like some rigged elected.
Or getting rejected.
All can be a bit disconnected.

For now all is expected.
At least what can be detected.
You have no expectation of everything to be born.
For I may give you a post with kitty porn.

Hey, the furry ass of Cass,
May impress in mass.
Even if we're snip snip.
I expect it would drop a lip.

Damn, I expected that.
Not unexpected for the cat.
I've now unexpected the expected.
The "un" is no longer protected.

Every see that one at your sea? Did you delve into it like me? Hey, if you expect what can come to be than it is no longer unexpected to thee. Weird stuff will come to pass but you can't expect such things in mass. At least not without giving yourself a big case of gas. So that saying was proven utterly wrong by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Friday, September 8, 2017

Round Sixty One As Some Still Have Fun!

Well it took two months to get enough for a new round. I guess the crazies are no longer found. Or they are hiding behind Google at their sea. For if signed in, searches don't come to be.

copycat copycat sitting on the doormat rhyme

Times two
Times two
Copy cat you
Copy cat you
On the door mat
On the door mat
Rat a tat tat
Rat a tat tat

copycat copycat sitting on the doormat lyrics

Not doing it twice. I'm not that nice.

bear by marian engel

Umm okay. A cat not a bear at my bay.

copy cat dirty rat rhyme

Haven't we done this? Do you want me to hiss?


Umm, it's that search bar thing. You know, how you found my blog wing.

rat sex

Just what I need to see. All for thee.

rat sex rat

Really kinky now. Does that wow?

kinky mule tail

Yee haw, hillbilly. Whip out that willy.

what causes protien pusscuss

Do I want to know? I hope it isn't down below.


That's me at my sea.

rich cat rhyme

I'm broke and poor,
A repeat encore.
Just the thing,
When you have no bling.

run boob

They can pop off and run? Damn, that can't be fun.

search engine

Well it is better than Google. But it is the thing that let's you oogle.

cat pics

Plenty here, even some of my actual rear.

And the winner of today sure likes to look for a weird display. What could it be? Do I want to know at my sea? Probably not. I may get eye rot.

Pics for dilly bush tush

Well there is a bush with a tush that I used a time or ten. Not sure it will dilly any women or men. But you can go and ask as it may be up for the task. Okay, I am through. No more gutter for that at my zoo. And so another has come to pass as a few nuts still find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

The Betting Way Here Today!

Hey, beats The Cowboy Way, you'd fall asleep with that display. Want to bet on that? Nah, neither does the cat. For I'll do what I do, not the stupid bet of a stupid crew.

That is neat.
Oh how sweet.
It is so grand.
Tune up the band.

Tune up not down.
Down would frown.
Can down they go?
I sure don't know.

But I bet you it can be done?
Come on, let's bet for fun.
You bet no and I bet yes.
Nothing will end up in a mess.

If I win you chop off an ear.
That is nothing to fear.
If you win I eat my toe.
Easy peasy, don't say no.

If I win you eat a rock.
That won't make any gawk.
If you win I eat a whole tree.
Easy peasy, let's make it come to be.

If I win you steal a car.
I know you'll get really far.
If you win I rob a bank.
Easy peasy, let's walk the plank.

If I win you pound sand up your ass.
That will be such an easy pass.
If you win I eat sand for a week.
Easy peasy, this bet you must seek.

If I win you jump from a plane.
No parachute allowed and you land on a train.
If you win I get thrown in the middle of the ocean.
Easy peasy, I can withstand its constant motion.

If I win you wrestle a bear.
You'll get it before the bear is even aware.
If you win I'll fight a moose.
Easy peasy, let's bet on this golden goose.

So let's bet.
The wager is set.
Let's dance a jig.
Nope, you can't renege.

Ever take such stupid arse bets at your sea? You may not want to tell me. There are some in good fun but others are just stupid when done. Eating a rock or tree? Yeah, on such idiots I'd throw cat pee. Are you scared of not taking the bet? Your ego need it to be set? Pfffft to that as well in mass. Have nothing to prove to some idiot with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Ruling Can't Kinda Slant!

 A ruling can't.
Can't will chant.
Can or can't.
Can's an ant.

Can't for the win.
Can't does can in.
Easier to arise.
Can't multiplies.

Rules the day.
Come what may.
A can in the bag.
Can't plays tag.

Tagged on in.
Can't strives to win.
Can't stop now.
Can takes a bow.

Can't has you.
Can't you see through?
Can you see through?
Which one is true?

Can or can't?
Wishes grant?
If your Aladdin.
Otherwise, can't will sadden.

Takes on hold.
Heavy like gold.
Stuck in the head.
Can't stop the dread.

Can too!
Can't, you.
Can too!
Can't, you.

Can't is still here.
What's to fear?
Can't can't let go?
Well what do you know.

Can takes hold.
Can becomes gold.
Can't hits the highway.
Can is here to stay.

Newsflash before we end the bash.

Stuck on can't and its not so cheery chant? Can't can easily become can at your sea if you don't let can't rule thee. Unless can't is something like jumping 500 feet in the air. Sorry, can will never come to be for that at any lair. Can you see can through the can't looking glass? Can't say I didn't try to help with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A Little Spell Raises Hell!

Humans are so so very strange. Some are so far out on the range. Maybe they fell into a cow pattie out there and it screwed with their gene pool without a care. Oops, I ticked off a dumb human somewhere. I better watch it at my lair.

Bippity boppity boo.
I put a curse on you.
Hear my cries.
I'm old and wise.

With some strange Latin,
I'll make you fatten.
At least it's Latin like.
A curse will still strike.

You'll forever be blue.
No help for you.
You'll forever be sick.
I cursed you some slick.

I made a potion.
I added baby lotion.
You'll now have kids,
With arms like squids.

You'll lose your mind.
A ghost you will find.
It will haunt you each day.
I summoned it this way.

I got a doll.
I pasted it to the wall.
Feeling that little stabbing?
That is me lightly stabbing.

I control your fate.
You'll be filled with hate.
I read from this magic book.
Your brains will now cook.

Hell will descend upon you.
You and your crew.
No one around you is safe.
I'll even make down below chafe.

And now for the whammy.
From here to Miami.
You will have bad luck.
May even get hit by a truck.

You have been cursed.
I've given you the worst.
Don't look at me like I haven't a clue,
Or I'll repeat my bippity boppity boo.

Have you ever been cursed at your sea? On the curser I'd take a pee. That is about all I believe in that. As fake as that made up thing call luck to the cat. Some actually believe they have been cursed though. Oh where the mind can go. At least cursed at let's you get out some sass. That seems a far better option to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 4, 2017

The Tell All Gets A Call!

The cat has seen a few here and there. Heck, everyone has at their lair. Most ignore but some explore. I guess they are nosy as can be. That sure doesn't surprise me.

Here we are.
Fame by far.
Can buy a ton.
But a new tale is spun.

One that's grand.
All across the land.
It will be a windfall.
Here comes the tell all.

Whoops, I lied.
But it's a wild ride.
I tell all the juicy stuff.
I know you can't get enough.

All from my point of view.
Who needs the view of two?
I speak the truth within.
It's on the cover I sin.

For I told all.
All that makes me stand tall.
All that gives me fame.
All that makes readers remember my name.

I didn't tell the rest.
That would be a pest.
It just wouldn't work.
You may think me the jerk.

When really it was him.
He is just so dim.
And it was also her.
Jerks they surely were.

I told you most.
Most that lets me boast.
That is all I need to say.
Who wants to hear both sides anyway?

Don't keep questioning me.
I told all to thee.
It is a tell all after all.
Sales will never stall.

No, it is never that.
Don't confuse me with a rat.
It isn't a Tell What Only I Want To Tell book.
It has everything pertinent so give it a look.

Pffft stupid tell all books can bite the cat. Most of it is a lot of scat. Made up crap or stuff added for extra snap. Kind of like reality TV. No reality in it for thee. Any tell all books you enjoy? Come now, don't be coy. The cat won't give you too much sass. I just may tell all with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

On The Rise, What A Surprise!

On the rise gets said a lot. Whether it is pulled from someones ass stats that are being taught or what have you. On the rise sure comes due. On the decline may get the shaft. I guess it doesn't have the best craft.

On the rise.
Raise your eyes.
Spot the skies.
Smell those pies.

Scent on the rise.
Not masked in disguise.
Try it on for size.
I tell you no lies.

Word to the wise,
Or the dumb like flies,
When using on the rise,
Could go lengthwise.

As in gutter cries.
Some may cut ties.
Others may despise.
Some may even baptize.

So may be good to downsize.
Don't let all on the rise.
Unless you get the eyes.
You know, the one of umm allies.

There is much it implies.
Let's hope no one dies.
Stats there are on the rise,
Like death by french fries.

Turn things clockwise,
Could be life by fries.
A growing enterprise.
All natural maximize.

Could very well energize.
Like the bunny's battery cries.
Maybe you could customize.
Watch out for the circumcise.

Or never finalize,
If you still want to fertilize.
Maybe even colonize.
But it's okay if you just supervise.

Time I made this stabilize.
Before some nuts I tantalize.
Don't need search engine nuts on the rise,
Even if them I utilize.

Anything at your sea on the rise? The rise sure gets the prize. Everything likes to rise one can theorize. Like the rhymes that amass like flies. So much goes with rise that I couldn't help but organize. Now I'll rise to pass some gas. I don't want that rising within my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Breaking In For A Spin!

I guess I'll break ground on this post today even if the post date is a year away. Actually it may be a bit more. I'm sure no one is broken up about that at their shore.

I need a break.
A break that's fake?
Why's it fake?
Because of the double take.

I need a break from the break.
Get hit with a rake?
Bitten by a poisonous snake?
Lose consciousness in a lake?

Would a break from a break = work?
That is breaking from the break perk.
Can you break from a break?
Is each break different like a snowflake?
That many may break the bank.
Did you use a tank?
Break sure is confusing.
Breaking banks may not be too amusing.

Maybe you break free.
That's the way to be.
Who needs the slammer,
Or a boss with a stammer?

Don't break a leg.
No need for a peg.
So break your fall.
Head my break all.

What was that from thee?
You'll break the balls of me?
Ha! Joke's on you.
I'm snip snip at my zoo.

Breaking up is hard to do?
Nah, can do it with a cell phone on the loo.
Not so hard in our estimation.
Sorry, we can't help with your constipation.

Has all hell broke loose?
Did it start with a goose?
Wouldn't that mean fire everywhere?
I'm not seeing anything as I stare.

Don't break to pieces if I break wind.
Cut me a break if I sinned.
I guess we'll just make a clean break.
A clean break from the break we can make.

Are you breaking up? Phone fall in your coffee cup? That may break your heart. Contact list now has fallen apart. Has this been breaking news? Do breaks give you the blues? Do you need a break from my breaking post? Maybe you need a break the most. I will now go break and nap with Cass. They broke the mold when they made my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 1, 2017

If Not 100%...Get Bent!

You humans sure put quite the spin on things. Do you just have these things waiting in the wings? Maybe monkey see, monkey do? Just don't go throwing anything that should be in the loo.

That looks grand.
I want one in hand.
I just love the look.
I'll get it at my nook.

Got it and used.
Wait, I'm confused.
It isn't that great.
Wasn't worth the wait.

You lied to me.
That much I can see.
What was that?
Do you think I a dingbat?

If not 100% satisfied you'll send me another one absolutely free?
That was rather wordy of thee.
But really, what the hell?
Do you just enjoy wasting minutes on my cell?

If 52% or 96% I get another?
I could get one for my mother.
How do you measure such a percent?
Is that what you meant?

Hold on a second there.
Why do I want a spare?
If your product is complete crap,
Why would I take a double lap?

Then two crappy things I'd have to chuck.
That just makes me go what the fluck.
I'll have double the crap.
Did that just come from your yap?

But it's absolutely free?
Free crap from thee.
Woweee, I say.
I don't have to pay.

I don't have to pay each morning one bit,
When I take a good shit.
Do you think I want a second one?
I suppose if constipation is being given a run.

I'm 76% satisfied today.
Can I get 24% more at my bay?
I don't want 100% more crap.
You are one silly human sap.

Ever see that in advertisements at your sea? Why the hell would you want more crap even if free? Then you'd have two of the same crappy thing. Does double the crap satisfy at ones wing? Beats the heck out of me. But if they have to offer that it usually means flee. For the product will shatter like glass. I think I'll remain simply a satisfied little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.