Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Come And Learn When We'll Return!

The cat is here today to have his say. Yeah, that is every day at my sea. But this one is special to thee. I know it is so don't use that denying biz. For it tells all when I'll return at my hall.

I will return.
I rhyme will spurn.
Or maybe just show.
Damned if I know.

Wait! I do know.
Okay, on I go.
Going going gone?
Could work at my lawn.

Won't be after a commercial break.
That takes time to make.
Plus you fast forward through those.
Who wants those kind of woes?

Won't be after the summer.
So hide away the rummer.
No summer season break.
That is too hot to take.

No winter hiatus.
Screw that status.
Depends on how you say,
If that rhymes away.

No We're On Vacation.
That may give elation.
But depends on where we go.
Plus we'd have to come in tow.

No technical difficulties from the blogger beast.
We hope so at least.
Anytime they can strike.
Making all take a hike.

No hiding away,
From the light of day.
Apocalypse isn't now.
You can trust my meow.

No I have nothing to say.
Pffft to those posts on display.
My muse is always fine.
Can't stop the feline.

No...so wait, when?
When at my den?
A lot of nos but no when.
Is that some kind of zen?

Have you guessed yet? Are you saying fluck this pet? That is illegal in most states you know. Just stay away from the window. What poppy cock? Bah, don't use such dirty talk. You guessed right. The cat will return tomorrow at 7 at his site. Wasn't that harder to guess than passing bad gas? It's alright if you assumed otherwise for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 30, 2017

No Tricks As That Makes Six!

Six years have come and gone here at my rhyming lawn. That is a lot of rhyme that I have given a chime. Does 6 do anything special for you? It must feel sad getting left out while 1, 5 and 10 impress at every zoo.

Here's to 6.
Six can do tricks.
It can spin upside down.
Now 9 has come to town.

It can go straight.
Then flips to mate.
Now d comes to pass.
6 can sure impress in mass.

It can flip flop too,
Creating something new.
That would be P.
Does that make 6 in me?

What's in a name?
Who cares about that claim.
6 is one of a kind.
Yeah, I've lost my mind.

Like some out there,
"cough" Rosey's "cough" lair.
As 666 scares her at play.
Can do tricks and scare any day.

6 can mean things too,
If you believe that stuff at your zoo.
Like 666 going, Boo!
Hey, 6 can have fun in view.

6 is the first perfect number.
Eat your heart out cucumber.
6 can make veggies jealous as well.
6 surely does raise hell.

6 is considered the number with the most harmony.
Is that why the dating site isn't called disharmony?
Would 6 even be the cause?
With my detective work I should get an applause.

Did you know 6 was a she?
Damn, sure looks likes a he.
Don't see what I mean?
With d6 you get a bit unclean.

But 6 has negatives too.
Bet that you never knew.
It can be small minded.
Maybe after d6 it got blinded?

Expect the 6 to get such exposure from me? Hey, it is 6 years of blogging at my sea. 5 and 10 get all the exposure everywhere. I'll give it to 6 at my lair. Sure has been 6 years of fun and the cat still isn't done. Many have come and gone and come and gone. I sound like umm never mind at my lawn. Are you at 6 years of blogging sass? I know some have even more than my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Down The Drain On The Useless Train!

Let's all get a degree today. We can do it at my bay. I'll help you all out with ease. It will be a breeze. Just stick your credit card number here. I promise you will cheer.

Need that degree.
Here it is for thee.
But that isn't all.
Plenty more at your hall.

All here for you.
You and me too.
But ignore the me part.
Take the you to heart.

Me? I get the money.
That makes all sunny.
But you get the degree.
Now be a busy bee.

Take what you want.
Go ahead and flaunt.
I'll get you in the end.
Hey, have to keep up the trend.

What trend is that?
Why it's add more fat.
Yep, that is it.
No need to have a fit.

I want you to be well rounded.
Many courses will be surrounded.
They are called elective.
You can be kinda selective.

But you need some.
Beat that drum.
Take the stuff you don't need.
Money for me sprouts up like a weed.

What was that?
You need no fat?
Bah, can't get picky.
That would be tricky.

You still need to pick.
Adding things up brick by brick.
You have to be well rounded and such.
So you must take much.

Glad you agree.
Now you have a degree.
Who cares about the extra debt.
You just made me a rich pet.

Don't you want a degree with me? It will be so great for thee. Forget about the me. Let the money fly free. If you know what you want to do, I still will shove courses down your throat for you. Damn, how did a college person get here. Who authorized that cheer? I'll have to look into it for each class. But you can still get a degree from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Serious Day On Display!

Today we can't have fun. We have to be serious with everyone. That is just so rude. The cat likes his attitude. But we have to. Humans made us at our zoo.

I broke my toe.
Oh no!
That may hurt.
Blood may spurt.

Seriously? You broke it?
Nah, I just said that shit.
I wanted to see what you'd say.
Now seriously, go away.

I won a new car.
Boy, I'll travel far.
It is great on gas.
Others I can now pass.

Seriously? You won?
Nah, I lied to everyone.
I just felt like it.
Seriously, you're full of shit.

I almost died.
Everyone cried.
It was a rough day.
Caused much dismay.

Seriously? You died?
Took a short bus ride?
That was you I saw?
At least you admit your flaw.

I won an election.
President is my detection.
I'll get there soon.
Maybe I'll get my own cartoon.

Seriously? You ran?
Nah, I got a tan.
I rested on a beach.
I chowed down on a peach.

I walked today.
I went to the bay.
I walked back.
I walked in my shack.

Seriously? You walked?
Is your brain stocked?
Is everything wrong mysteriously?
Why do you insist on saying seriously?

Ever get a nut like that? Saying seriously every time to make you repeat each stat. Pffft once in a while I can see but some use it like leaves on a tree. As in many a time. Seriously, I have no use for that chime. Unless you win a billion dollars or grow golden grass. Then you may hear it said from my not so serious little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 27, 2017

A Buggy Treat To Come And Eat!

The cat touched on this in a fact or two but now you'll get the full blown scoop at my zoo. Soon you may even make some dough. It's a growth sector, you know.

You can pick it,
Whether ant or cricket.
Soon it will be here,
And everywhere far and near.

Right at your door.
At the grocery store.
Need that protein.
It will make you lean.

Might taste like chicken.
None Pat is pickin.
But the cat takes them all.
I eat them down the hall.

Ants you can squeeze.
Forget those fleas.
Have some cricket legs.
Have them with beer kegs.

A caterpillar or two,
May sure fill you.
The butterfly effect?
That may make you umm erect.

A ladybug meal.
Now that's a deal.
It won't get spotty.
So says Scotty.

A stink bug stew?
That may be eww.
But some may enjoy.
Could be a nasty ploy.

Hop to the beat.
Grab a treat.
Don't be a flopper,
Snack on a grasshopper.

Weave a web line.
All will align.
Spiders are other.
But with ketchup you can smother.

And there are more.
Get creative at your shore.
Have a meal of bugs each day.
Soon many will be on display.

Hear that yet? Fine by this pet. Bugs will be the newest food. You'll use them to feed your brood. Aren't enough chickens to go around. So bugs galore will be found. Are you ready to snack on bugs in mass? It would be amusing to see for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

The What Is In A Rut!

The cat is typing out a rhyme right now. No, he is not giving a meow. I am going to type and hit post soon. But that you knew at my sand dune. Didn't you? Some humans don't have a clue.

I'm typing away.
All through the day.
Just typing right here.
Have no fear.

Maybe fear for you,
And many in view.
For they are dense.
Maybe sat on an electric fence?

Why is that?
Why fall flat?
Too many reasons to name.
But this post has a claim.

What are you doing?
Umm, I'm not chewing.
I'm typing like I said.
Can't get that through your head?

What are you doing?
You I'm now shooing.
Get the hell away.
Go drown in the bay.

What are you doing?
Is this some kind of wooing?
Are you as blind as a bat?
Maybe drowning in scat?

What are you doing?
Soon I'll be suing.
You won't like that.
Sued by a cat.

What...shut up.
Go bug a pup.
Can't you see?
I'm having a pee.

I'm driving a car.
I'm walking far.
I'm vacuuming the floor.
I'm resting at the shore.

I'm sitting on my ass.
I'm passing some gas.
You I'm now booing.
But what are you doing?

Can't you humans see? Why ask when you are beside me? That is like talking about the weather when two humans are together. I'm doing what I'm doing. No fat needs chewing. Not like I'm chopping a foot off. So there is no need to scoff. Now I'm passing some more gas. It just wants to come when humans are near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Spruce Up Your Pad With An Add!

Your browser is bland there in your land. We can't have that. Come and follow the cat. There is so much more we can add. This isn't some fad. Add on with glee. It really will help thee.

Add ons for you.
Add ons for me.
So many in view.
No whelmed for thee.

I'll help you pick.
No problem at all.
This rhyme does the trick.
Start your own mall.

That's right indeed.
A stalker add on.
Let it take seed.
It's not a con.

A show your face one.
Now that is fun.
You can be seen a ton,
By each and everyone.

A new search engine.
That is a need.
Soon you'll be binge in,
Some cheap dirty deed.

Why not a blocker?
Block out the worst.
We wouldn't want a shocker,
To cause your heart to burst.

The money tracker is here.
Add it with glee.
You'll always have it near,
Plucking away at your money tree.

The daily planner is on.
Don't miss that one.
It starts at dawn.
Now go for a run.

The cute cat pic.
Now that is slick.
It's a good trick.
So go ahead and click.

And the best of the best,
It beats all the rest.
The extra little pest.
Let the NSA be your guest.

Don't you love the cat's suggestions today? Go and add on at your bay. Let your browser get so full that it no longer has any pull. Then you'll go so slow, but who cares, the NSA will know. Facebook will too. You can wave at them from the loo. Do you add on in mass? I don't have any thanks to the OCD of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Feel The Points In Your Joints!

The dating nuts aren't back yet. But one day having them back is a safe bet. Still who needs those nuts. We got more to help you get out of dating ruts.

Step right up.
Fill your cup.
Meaning fill in each blank.
Tick the box or walk the plank.

You need to do it.
Fill in every bit.
If you don't we can't match.
Don't you want the best of the batch?

How old are you?
Have any kids come due?
Would you date one with kids?
Do you take gambling bids?

Do you like to stare?
Do you want to be a pair?
Do you like to run?
What do you find fun?

Are you in shape?
Shaped like a grape?
Need a mate like that?
Don't worry, we won't fall flat.

Are you into older?
Are you into bolder?
Are you into younger?
One to thirst your hunger?

Do you really care?
Do you like long hair?
Do you have money?
Do you think you're funny?

Congrats to you!
Your matches have come due.
You've got so many.
Now don't neglect any.

Here they are.
Near and far.
Many on hand.
Isn't it grand?

They are a 95% match.
Open that latch.
You got so many more.
So open the door.

Pffft says the cat. Do you love the same old survey crap where you're at? Still shows the same matches. They just stick them in different batches. But oh, they are 95% in tune with you. They are even in tune when they poo. Doesn't that just make you want to join the online dating mass? You could get matched with a furry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 23, 2017

A Generation One Is Spun!

A generation one rhyme today. What is that at my bay? Why it is when I just go on about that and this. Don't I do that every day without a miss? I suppose the cat does that indeed. But this is going back to the past at my feed. When the cat was testing things out and just rhyming everything that was out and about.

Do you see what is going on yet? I think that is a safe bet. It is far easier to read the rhyme the way the cat got it down then to go on and on in old paragraph town. Hey, at least I'm not white font on black. That gives many an eyesight attack. Do you know any blogs that give you an eye attack? I know a few that give some flack. Large font isn't so bad but small font makes it very annoying by a tad.

See how I can go on about anything at all? It is as easy as can be at my hall. The cat enjoys running down hallways too. But I'm sure that you knew. Do you run down hallways as well? Don't trip, that isn't swell. We really get annoyed by small hallways here. They are hard to clear. Moving anything down them can be a pain. Another thing is when people block the lane. Let's put tables and other crap in the small hallway. Yeah, it may get in the way but it is such a nice display. Pffft cluttering it up is annoying. Clutter filled hallways we aren't enjoying.

What about the nuts that only buy a lottery ticket when it is really high? Your odds are the same no matter when you try. Yet they think 500 million is so great. Like winning 45 million is such a bad trait. Pffft once more. Yeah, you could never ever live off of 45 million at your shore. Oh, and don't forget that if you don't win it is rigged and such a sin.

Does one have too much time on their hands if they blog? I heard that once through the fog. Yet the same nut whined on Facebook every chance they got. Some people just can't be taught. Dumb is dumb I suppose. Some dumb just really glows. If it really glowed all Glow Friends like, the dark would forever take a hike. We'd never need lights again. They'd shine up every den. Feel the glow. Know that show?

Enjoy the generation one rhyme? That was before the cat was in his prime. He just went on his way and had his say. I still get it with ease and will rhyme what I please. Generation 2 rhymes are just easier on the eye. Aren't I a nice guy? I still have the same generation of gas. That stays the same as it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

What's In An All At Your Hall?

So what is in all? Deciphering that may be like an endless bouncy ball. It may just go on and on like that dumb bunny. It may also cost you a bunch of money.

That is all.
So stand tall.
That is all.
Find a stall.

Hide there.
All to spare.
Pull your hair.
Maybe swear.

That is all.
Don't fall.
That is all.
Enjoy the mall.

Just a need.
Like a weed.
Knock it down,
Back in town.

This must be done.
Then off for fun.
That is all.
Whoops, hit last call.

Add more to it.
Don't throw a fit.
Take out the trash.
Put something on the rash.

Go to the store.
Don't sit and explore.
No time for that.
Can't chew the fat.

Need more of this.
No time to miss.
Have more to do.
Get a clue.

Add in some of that.
Take away some scat.
Throw in a helping hand.
Don't pop a gland.

Fix it with that, this, that, this and that.
Add in some of that, this, that, this and some other scat.
Climb, bend, scoop, pull, run and stand tall.
Don't worry, that is all.

That is all they say. That is all can turn into a full day. Hell, can turn into a full week. Can leave you up the creek. Has that is all gone on long at your sea? That is all can also be costly to thee. That is all hardly ever seems to be all. More gets added to the call. But the cat can say that after this sass that is all until tomorrow  from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Why Even Ask The Long Task?

The cat even uses this one a time or two. I think everyone does at their zoo. But does it really need to be asked? It seems the long gets masked.

Bake a cake.
A car to make.
A swim in a lake.
How long will it take?

A game of Donkey Kong.
A sing a long.
A trip to Hong Kong.
I have to ask, how long?

Burnt on a stake.
Catching a snowflake.
Spotting a fake.
How long will it take?

A movie with King Kong.
To make muscles strong.
A movie with Cheech & Chong?
I have to ask, how long?

Done today?
Done when through play?
Done tomorrow afternoon?
Done on a full moon?

Whoops, not done.
Lied a ton.
This got in the way.
That was on display.

I found something wrong.
It screwed the how long.
It needed more fixing.
Original time I'm nixing.

The stove broke.
I never awoke.
I was late getting in.
How long needs a new spin.

Maybe tomorrow.
Forget the sorrow.
Maybe next week.
I have to fish in a creek.

How long will it take?
No plans you better make.
Could be a wait.
I can't nail down a date.

Ever get screwed on the how long it will take? Did the how long jump in a lake? Things get changed and screwed a time or ten. The how long is at best an estimate at many a den. Especially if say the cops are behind you. Then your trip may take a little longer to the zoo. How long did it take you to read my sass? Hopefully that is similar to most days from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Round Fifty Four Takes The Crazy Tour!

They still keep on coming, although a few do the same old strumming. It's a good thing I'm far enough ahead that I can bring you some different brain dead. Is that a good thing? Bah, on with it at my wing.

pat ahtte

That like scrabble? An extra E in which to dabble?

hot blonde with big ass

That surely isn't me. But I can give you a flea.

dick slurpy poem

No thank you. I won't go there at my zoo.

animal rights signs

My ass in the air works at my lair.

money wal mar figures

Do I look like a stock broker? I'd rather play poker.

Casie in the bath

She'd bite your arm off and drown you in a horse trough.

stalker in my pants

Damn, was those pants. Could be more than ants.

hats off pat

If I don't wear one can it come off me? How about that flea?

i found my pat

Hmmm, stalker alert. Sorry, I don't flirt.

Hoping for wishes

Don't lose hope your wish may be granted by the Pope.

More money please

Me too! Send it to my zoo.

Under the bed dust

Use a vacuum and duck. The dust will be shit outta luck.

busting a shit

That new slang? If not, dang.

klomperstomper guffs

Anyone know? Damned if I do at my show.

And the winner for this round sure gets umm around. A cheat rhyme there but you won't care. Just look at this nut. Sniffed one too many a butt?

Hooray Hooray dicks hands to stay

Is that some rap song? That sounds all wrong. Maybe they got married and have someone to umm yank? But can't they themselves walk that plank? On second thought, I don't want to know that plot. This has been another crazy pass as the nuts that find my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Care For An Advance Glance?

The cat has to join in. This just has to be given a spin. You are all here everyday so you just deserve it at your bay. What is that? Just follow the cat.

For the special ones,
Comes an advanced screening.
Now don't get the runs,
And no stomping, pushing or leaning.

Each take your turn.
Sit down and wait.
For then you will learn,
What will be on plate.

Maybe that's on deck.
But I really don't care.
What the heck,
Could use a spare.

Now that your seated,
A new rhyme shall show.
Today you will be treated,
To an advanced screening glow.

Others have to wait.
Those not here at seven.
Be glad you took the bait,
This screening will be heaven.

Remember not to tell.
I don't need bad press.
But then if you raise a little hell,
People may come more not less.

The credits shall run,
And my name shall be shown.
More credits when we're done,
And maybe a hidden scene all alone.

Get your food now,
And maybe a drink.
You better hold it somehow,
Because you won't want to miss a wink.

Plus I have no human loo,
So you'll have to use the litter.
That doesn't go over well with a human crew,
And may make some bitter.

And now you've seen it.
The screening has been shown.
Wasn't that some good shit?
Leave your reviews at the tone.

Aren't you happy now? You were all chosen to see an advanced screening of my meow. You were only the special chosen few. The cat knew that would impress you. Now you may go use the loo. Just be sure and give a review. Ever see an advanced screening come to pass? Now you have, thanks to my rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

In It Goes The Nasty Nose!

On top of getting as nosey as can be, you humans sure nose around from sea to sea. That nose is stuck everywhere. Remind me never to touch a nose at any lair.

You nosed it out of the way?
Nosed what at your bay?
Was it nosing a bus?
Hopefully your nosing didn't make a fuss.

Was it on the nose?
Smell like a rose?
Hopefully so.
On your nose things could grow.

Would that be brown nosing?
Suck if you were posing.
Such a nose would take away,
From everything else on display.

Wouldn't need your nose in the air.
A brown nose is rare.
At least rare to see.
Many brown nose like a busy bee.

Guess that wouldn't work,
For a clean nose perk.
Keeping one's nose clean,
Can be tough in the brown nose scene.

No skin off your nose?
Is that how it goes?
Can you scrape it off?
That may make one scoff.

Couldn't poke your nose in.
That wouldn't be a win.
You would be spotted.
No spy time would be allotted.

But could avoid it.
Who needs brown shit?
Just put your nose to the grindstone.
That may hurt and make you moan.

That could make it bleed.
Would be a rough deed.
End up paying through the nose?
Who'd want the snot that flows?

Maybe humans are just blind.
Wouldn't be the first time for mankind.
Can't see past the end of their nose.
Striking a nose in the air pose.

Did you know your nose was into everything? Ever stick a nose to a grindstone at your wing? That would sure hurt a bit. Who wants to do that shit? Speaking of which, a brown nose would make us twitch. You sure can nose around in mass. Although I'd avoid nosing around me gassy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

A Little Delay Here Today!

The cat was going to post this 10 years ago. Even before I had a blog it was going to show. Yeah, isn't that a feat? I'd have still been in university and on that party street.

This post was made.
The path was laid.
But the host got drunk.
Whoops, lost in a trunk.

It finally rose.
That's how it goes.
Whoops, host got a job.
Beat out poor Bob.

Still working elsewhere.
You can sit and stare.
Won't make it come faster.
You may as well plaster.

Ran out of money.
That isn't funny.
So we're stuck on pause.
I know, no applause.

The cat did another post.
This one got sent to the coast.
It was burnt like toast.
Damn, I may roast.

It will post today.
Whoops, went astray.
It needs more work.
6 stanzas isn't a perk.

The post is glitchy.
That may make some bitchy.
We have to fix it.
Can't have that shit.

This post is against another.
It will sure smother.
We want our post to be seen.
That other more popular post is so mean.

This post needs new marketing.
Maybe some telemarketing.
See? It used a cheat rhyme.
More marketing isn't a crime.

Finally it's out.
Doesn't it have clout?
Only took ten years.
Now let out your cheers.

Don't you love delays? They come in many a ways. Games sure get delayed their fair share. Some movies and books do by the pair. Many a thing sure can get a delay. Many excuses too at play. Some delays are needed to come to be. Others are just excuses for all to see. But had to poke fun at delays in mass. It was delayed long enough by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Please Wait For Every Trait!

Please wait comes due a time or two. The cat is seeing it right now as a slow ass site loads some how. That set me off for today and so we'll have our please wait say.

Please wait...
A fine trait.
They are nice,
No screw you or lice.

Phones and sites,
Have it in lights.
Need help or a PIN.
Please wait gets the win.

But it gets very thin,
When for everything it's given a spin.
Could cause strife,
If please wait was for all of life.

A bomb is about to go boom.
The whole city will be covered in a mushroom.
Can disarm with a few seconds to go.
Please wait...boom, a crater below.

A heart transplant is taking place.
Everything is done at a steady pace.
Whoops, the various thingys stop.
Please wait....damn, you joined the dead crop.

You are about to be shot dead.
Someone wants to shoot you in the head.
The gun trigger is pulled,
Please wait....you run away not lead fulled.

You go to a bank machine.
Those buttons sure aren't clean,
But you use it to get your dough.
Please wait....the line up continues to grow.

You go to a new job.
You beat out poor Bob.
You get to the door ready to work.
Please wait...eventually we'll need a new clerk.

You wait for a rhyme.
The cat's daily chime.
It doesn't show up.
Please wait....stuck with a hiccup.

Please wait....I'm soon done.
Please wait....look there's sun.
Please wait....a new rhyme will be spun.
Please wait....at least I'm polite to everyone.

Any more where please wait would suck? I'm sure there are many where please wait would pass the buck. Please wait sure can't be used for all. Then things would really stall. Yeah, I know fulled is a bad grammar pass. But please wait while I decide if it bothers my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

We Sure Know When We Go!

Cassie is a bit more wiser than I as things catch her eye. Hey, she's done it way more. That is my excuse at our shore. She can tell when it's time to go. But I don't take too long to get in the know.


Cassie knows.
No stuff in rows.
She's just aware,
With one quick stare.


See? I learn.
We won't return.
My cat house is apart.
I don't take that to heart.


Into hide mode I go.
High, not low.
Can't reach me. 
But you can still see.


Can't now.
I don't meow.
I have the dark.
Here I will park.


 I'd rather stay,
Then deal with the other bay.
A basket case is just what I need.
There they grow like a weed.


A scaredy cat.
I like that.
Can chase her away,
Any old day.


The box cat.
Who needs that?
I can pack him up though.
Mail away another foe.


The bouncer kitty.
He's not in a city.
That is where he needs to go.
So see ya later to another foe.


The fluff ball.
Chase him down the hall.
He can be a duster.
After all the dusting he looses his luster.


And then there's the poser.
What a brown noser.
 But if he gets too close to me,
On him I'll do number 2 with glee.

I guess I have a way of thinning out the pack. I just need to go on the attack. Do you have foes to stop? Have such a big crop? The mutts I'll have to work on next time. Dealing with those butt sniffers is just a crime. At least I took care of one furry mass. They won't be bothering my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

A Friendly Face To Embrace?

The cat was out and about the other day and he heard a nut having their say. Or rather Pat heard it. But the cat is going to take the hit. What was it? Why some friendly shit.

You need to smile.
Smile a whole mile.
You need a friendly face.
You don't have one to embrace.

A face is a face.
You can't retrace.
But friendly yours is not.
So join the friendly lot.

Like that guy.
He's spry.
A friendly face.
All want to be in his space.

So smile like that.
Don't let your face fall flat.
Smile and have a friendly face,
Or you'll be fired from the rat race.

That's not it.
Looks like shit.
Smile like you mean it.
Take the hit.

Bah, you can't do it.
You look like you are having a fit.
You'll scare others away.
You have a scary display.

Go back to work.
Don't be a jerk.
Practice some more,
There at your shore.

Be happy tomorrow.
Don't bring the sorrow.
You aren't happy I say.
Look at that frown on display.

That's not your face.
It is not the case.
That is you lying.
So keep on trying.

Just look at her.
Happy with a purr.
Have a face like that.
Now get back to work, stat.

I actually heard an employee at the grocery store getting grossed out for not having a friendly face encore. Then they said a friendly face and pointed at me. If only they knew at my sea. Ever asked to change your face? No wonder there is a plastic embrace. Such idiot managers near and far. Maybe should flatten his face with a car. See, I'm not so friendly with my sass. I'd rather be a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Just Ducky With Horse Pucky!

Or should I say shit because people on the internet are sure full of it. At least some that is with their so called that and this biz. But don't believe the cat. Just get a whiff of this scat.

Drinking your own pee cures...
My, thinking that gets purrs.
It cures everything under the sun.
Yeah, and the cat is a nun.

Africa is a country all itself.
Damn, Santa better inform an elf.
He needs to know such things.
Maybe his reindeer really have wings.

Super super secret thingys galore.
They are at every shore.
Weight, lottery, health, even a date.
Oh, how they all sure have a common trait.

Dead people aren't dead.
Elvis still has his head.
He's alive like many an other.
I think I just saw the world's oldest guy's mother.

A quote on a photo is true.
That is too much work to go through.
No one would fake that.
They don't want to chew fake fat.

A world ending thingy is upon us.
Everyone should kick up a fuss.
The Mayans and Y2K were soo right.
Listen to this new one taking flight.

Some rich guy will give you dough.
Yep, Bill Gates is in the know.
He'll just shell out some cash.
Go now, make a quick dash.

Stats are ever so true.
Every one you see at your zoo.
98% of readers who know nothing about it tell me so.
So it has to be true, you know.

A phone update will make it waterproof.
Nah, it is not a goof.
A little update is all it takes.
Use it in water after the phone shakes.

I'm a time traveler back from the future.
Came back to get a suture.
The future is so bleak.
The world only has one creek.

Now do you see that many are full of it? Who can believe such umm spit? But it still gets spread around a ton. At least they provide the cat with some fun. Nuts sure are everywhere and many more there are with an internet lair. Fall for any that have come to pass? They can all bite my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Holy Cow That Is Wow!

The cat doesn't get impressed much. I guess I'm out of touch. Or maybe I'm just a cat. We think everything is beneath us and scat. But after seeing this commercial 1000 times at the other sea, we are so impressed we have to share with thee.

Wowweeee, it's a site.
A site taking you through the night.
It is so damn great.
You can use it and relate.

Which site is that?
Won't be named by the cat.
No free PR.
Hardy har har.

Look, you're related to Sam.
That is so great, damn.
Sam who though?
Beats me at my show.

Hitler is a relative of yours.
Might want to avoid tours.
But isn't that great to know?
Nah, who wants to sink that low.

You're related to beer.
Wow, wasn't that fun to hear?
Maybe you are just a drinker.
Could be you're a free thinker.

Einstein is your relative too.
That gets a whoa hoo.
But you're not smart?
Damn, enjoy Wal-Mart.

You're related to an ape.
An ape with a cape.
We have it on tape.
Brain of a grape?

You're related to Timbuktu.
Yep, it is so very true.
Related to all in the place.
So many relatives to embrace.

You're related to the King.
That must impress at your wing.
Elvis is great after all.
Too bad your relative is the king of some mall.

The best of all.
You can stand tall.
Santa Claus is related to you.
Believe it because it's true.

Who cares I must ask? Woweeee, a famous relative found as you lift the mask. Does that make you any better or worse at your sea? Nope, so it won't impress me. Just like the whole relative rhyme, the cat just gives a meh chime. You are you, whether you have famous or crap relatives at your zoo. The cat is all done with his sass. But enjoy such sites says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Crossing Over With Rover?

The rage today is crossovers at play. They are everywhere you look. Even Batman and Ninja Turtles fell for the hook. Everything goes that way. So why not my bay?

A rhyming wiener.
Hmmm that could be cleaner.
As in wiener dog.
Don't go into a brain fog.

It's Ninja Wannabe Time.
Proved the ninja wannabe can rhyme.
But would his clones do it?
They may not like that shit.

It's Neko Time.
Facts are sublime.
Facts in their prime.
Even some on a mime.

My Rhyme Men.
Might be an interesting den.
Betsy does have five.
Would they survive?

Marg's Rhyme Time.
Donkeys giving a rhyming chime.
That would be neat.
Cats may not find it sweet.

Keepin It Rhyme Folks.
Might give some strokes.
Pimples and rhyme,
Shown in their prime.

It's Mail4Time.
Is that a crime?
I won't send you mail.
So that one may fail.

It's Mix Nuts Time.
Halloween Nazi may demand a dime.
She could show some nuts.
That may put people in ruts.

It's Penwasser Time.
Captain Caption in his prime.
Sitting on the loo,
And rhyming too.

Wanna Rhyme A Duck.
Wow, we're in luck.
No whelmed will pass the buck.
Can go for gold with...fluck.

Any more crossovers you want? Don't you want to crossover with my haunt? Could be a lot of fun. Or we could just scare everyone. The cat is good at that. I am just crazy as can be where we are at. We could crossover in mass. That would be fine by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

City Or Town Which Makes You Frown!

We've done house or apartment a while ago, now let's see which way this wind will blow. Which is your foe? Which one sinks more low?

City or town?
Does one make you frown?
Should country be used?
Country and town for this are infused.

Country has a town.
Many could take the crown.
If you count country as a whole.
Not as green grass where you stroll.

Which is for you?
Much coming due?
Lots to be done.
Around to stores you can run.

Traffic galore.
Suck on gas at your shore.
Not to mention the smog,
As you go out to walk your dog.

But can get what you want.
Nothing will haunt.
Can usually find it with ease,
Whenever you please.

Although more crime,
May not be sublime.
Could get shot.
That may hurt a lot.

Where as the town,
No traffic will make you frown.
Can get to where you need to go,
10 times faster you know.

Maybe 5 times.
But there are no mimes.
Quiet as well.
For some that could be hell.

But then less work,
That isn't a perk.
Then again more people in the city,
So can't even get a job out of pity.

Which is for you?
Fast, smoggy and things that are new?
Or slow, clean air and same old thing?
Maybe in the middle you have a fling.

Got a preference at your sea? Both have their perks for me. Sometimes depends where you are in life too. Tried out both at your zoo? Can be quite the difference indeed. Towns are cheaper, usually, to live in at ones feed. But then many are dying out in mass. You were made to think today by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Drop By On The Fly!

Just drop on by the It's Rhyme Time. You'll only have to pay a dime. A dime times ten thousand or so. Other than that you'll positively glow. Why is that? There is lots of scat.

Guys Making A Bed.
Wow, that beats club med.
Wouldn't you love that show?
I bet it would glow.

Vacuum Cleaner Wars.
People will want tours.
Those sets will be so grand
You'd want to touch them with your hand.

Who's Got The Greener Grass.
You can watch and sit on your ass.
What a way to spend your time.
I think I'd rather watch a mime.

Look What My Dust Bunny Did.
Viewers will flip their lid.
It will be such a hit show.
That I surely know.

Things That Float.
You'll sure take note.
That will catch every eye.
Look! It's a floating french fry.

Empty Plate Guessing.
Nope, I'm not messing.
It will be that good.
Guess what was eaten at your hood.

Adventures In Floor Waxing.
That show will be so taxing.
You'll watch it with your tongue out.
It is one all will talk about.

Cat Hair Wig Making.
That is a course you'll be taking.
After of course you watch the show.
All will stoop that low.

How To Make A Hole.
A hole is their goal.
A hole in the wall or ground.
Fans everywhere will be found.

Clouds In The Sky.
Watch as they fly by.
It will be clouds 24/7.
People will be in hippie heaven.

Don't they all sound grand? Wouldn't they be great for TV land? If you say yes there is no hope for you. You heard it here first at my zoo. Are reality shows just getting more dumb? Damn, they are pathetic and then some. I bet some would watch wars over green grass. That is just sad to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

A Written Return That Will Churn!

This rhyme came due but I can't show you. Why is that? Just because where I'm at. This rhyme came due but I can't show you. It was another one. Damn, doesn't want to be spun.

Was that a hole?
Damn, not a goal.
Can't have that.
It has to scat.

Hole is fixed.
It has been nixed.
But that word doesn't work.
It just isn't a perk.

Swap out the word.
No longer absurd.
Another hole there.
Not good to have a spare.

Hole's been plugged.
Things aren't bugged.
It goes out straight.
It can leave the gate.

Whoops, a rhyming dog.
That lands us in a bog.
We can't have that.
Need a rewrite, stat.

Start all over.
Get rid of the rover.
He has quite the stink.
That could bring one to the brink.

Have to change that.
From dog to cat.
Look another hole.
Three more take stroll.

Words don't fit.
Need to fix that shit.
It's repeat land.
Those words take a stand.

Repeat the fix.
Repeats to nix.
Repeats done.
Repeated a ton.

Fixed with a cat.
How about that?
Whoops, the cat doesn't rhyme.
Have to rewrite one more time.

Ever get into rewrite land? Thankfully no rhymes get out of hand. I can do those in my sleep. But rewrites can run deep. Plot holes galore or something doesn't work and needs an encore. All kinds of reasons for them to come to pass. It's good that no one can rewrite my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

What Type Are You At Your Zoo?

There are bloggers of all types here and there and I can figure out the types at my lair. Are you able to? I guess we shall see if most of these you knew.

What type of blogger are you?
Why do you blog the things you do?
Today the cat will share with you,
The many that come due.

Are you the looky loo,
Wanting many a view?
Letting all know when you cried.
Stats matter to your pride.

Are you the poor poor me,
Going on a pitiful spree?
Trying for sympathy from all,
With each and every post call.

Are you a fun in the sun,
Giving what you want a run?
Not caring what others think,
As out your thoughts sink.

Are you an all about me,
Who never goes to another sea?
Thinking all should come to you,
Pretending you don't have a clue.

Are you a blog connector,
Hopping over many a sector?
Finding friends far and wide,
Having many by your side.

Are you a promoter,
Ads running your motor?
Always selling this and that.
Trying to make your wallet fat.

Are you a neglector,
Always being a varying detector?
Popping in once a year.
Having nothing to say with your cheer. 

Are you a mix and match,
A bit of a blogging batch?
Doing that and this,
Everything giving you bliss?

What type of blogger are you,
Why do you blog the things you do.
Did the cat hit on you?
Has your blog habit come into view?

That was just fun to do as the idea popped in at my zoo. Did the cat hit on one? Maybe a mix and match with your blogging run? The cat just does it for some fun and enjoys hopping around to everyone. But that you knew at your zoo. At least I hope you knew that in mass. I can be a confusing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 6, 2017

It's Not Hard So Pull A Card!

The cat has a game for you. It is going to sell a ton at my zoo. I just know you'll all want to play. It's the Rhyme Time Card Game on display.

Pull a card.
It's isn't hard.
There is a pile,
Don't wait awhile.

Cassie Death Glare.
Whoops, that is rare.
You lost already.
That card stares steady.

Rhyming Ass!
A rhyme must come to pass.
The first to stop rhyming has lost.
Don't stop at any cost.

Drazin Third Person Eyes.
My, doesn't he look wise?
You have to talk in the third person.
If you stop, your points worsen.

Tarsier Man Theme.
Now comes a live stream.
You must sing your theme song.
Sing or it is all wrong.

Search Engine Nut.
Don't just sit on your butt.
Type the weirdest thing ever in Google.
The winner is the one who gets the best oogle.

Nicknames R You.
Nickname your crew.
The one with the best of the bunch,
Gets a free lunch.

Stupid Human Things.
Give your best rings.
The one with the stupidest human trait,
Adds points to their crate.

Cat Hair Galore.
Rip some hair out at your shore.
It can be from anywhere on you.
Then put it where cat hair might come due.

The Tail Card.
This may be hard.
Find the nearest thing at your sea,
And make it a tail on thee. 

Those are just some of the cards at play. Don't you want to play at your bay? Are you jealous the cat has a card game? It will be anything but tame. Things may get a bit crazy and maybe even hazy. You may even get to pass some gas. That is a perk for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

A Sky Death Beam Reusable Stream!

Have you noticed remade plot devices at your sea? Remakes aren't good enough for you and me. Nope, now they have to remake the same thing. It has to be oh so threatening at ones wing.


Look, it's a remake.
 I still give Blue a head shake.
But do you see the giant death beam in the sky?
Keep an eye on it as the ghostbusting is given a try.


Oh look, it's back.
A green glow it may lack.
But it's the sky death beam.
Iron Man didn't even need a team.


Wow, can this be real?
Call the man of steel.
It's another sky death beam. 
Even took it down without a team.


The death beam is back.
A trash one is on the attack.
It takes a whole suicide squad to stop it.
Trash death beams in the sky are the shit.


Let's transform things.
Whoops, out another springs.
Those transformers couldn't change.
 Is that ironic or just strange?


The death beam is coming.
Do you hear the humming?
It may be the technodrome though.
 The TMNT are the only ones to know.


Oh look, it's still hear.
Iron man has nothing to fear.
The whole avengers take down this one.
Sky Death Beam 2.0 was spun.


Has in the death beams sunk?
This one rather stunk.
You might not even know.
No one watched this Independent death beam show.


Right on the poster.
Not even good enough for a coaster.
Complete crap through and through.
But oh, the sky death beam is still in view.


And they say building hopping was bad.
At least it was original by a tad.
No sky death beams to show.
Then again, they got 3 sequels to go.
 
Have you caught on to the sky death beams yet? I say that now yes would be a safe bet. What is it with death beams from the sky? Do these writers even try? Maybe Justice League and Avengers 3 will all go death beam 3.0 at their sea. Hell, maybe they'll skip to death beam 10.0. You really never know. I can fend off death beams with my gas. That just had to be added by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Old And New Get A Clue!


 New and old.
Truth be told.
No fountain of gold,
That may take hold.

Stuck like mold.
That's not bold.
Could make you fold.
If you're sold.

Sold on what?
The butt of a mutt?
Nah, not that rut.
Mind going putt putt?

But none are new.
Maybe new to you.
Yep, it's true.
Through and through.

But that you knew.
You had a clue.
Just out it flew,
You and your clue.

Old come nagging.
Down they're sagging.
Causing some lagging.
Maybe some red flagging.

What was that?
Still lost due to the cat?
Insecurity chewing the fat?
Get it where you're at?

Nothing new.
New to you.
No new is due.
That is true.

Someone had it.
Someone thought the shit.
Someone had a fit.
Someone bought into it.

Someone did not.
Someone tossed the lot.
Someone avoided a clot.
Someone just fought.

Same old insecurities at play even if a new year has come to play. Which someone are you? If you're here then I'm guessing the later that came due. On insecurities I'll take a pass. I'm too much of a crazy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Get A Drone At The Tone!

Call the cat today and I'll send a drone your way. Yeah, I'll fly it right to you. What? You don't believe this to be true? But drones are so much fun. I want to give one to everyone.

They can fly.
Fly real high.
They don't jerk.
That is a perk.

So they can fly.
I mentioned real high.
They have a high speed.
What more do you need?

Maybe take pics from the sky?
I said they could fly.
They can do that too.
Doesn't that impress you?

They can peep on the neighborhood.
You'll be king or queen of your hood.
Have the secrets of everyone,
As around they run.

You can deliver a payload.
No, not bomb mode.
But the cash you owe.
Damn, the bank fees in tow.

Make your own work.
That is another perk.
Deliver pizza you bake.
You won't be a fake.

No need for gas,
Or driving first class.
Just add your need,
And it will do the deed.

Got a big home?
Don't want to roam?
Fly things to the other side.
In your mansion you can hide.

And when in a funk,
It's time to get drunk.
No designated driver is needed.
Alcohol on demanded can be seeded

Did I mention it can fly?
It can fly really high.
Gets yours today.
I'll fly it your way.

Don't you want one now? Don't drones truly wow? They are just so woweeee. One should be had at every sea. They are only $967,896.54 from me. Why not buy three? They fly really high. And did I mention they fly? I may have said that in mass. I sure droned on with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 2, 2017

A Spoiled Land At My Hand!

Or would the be paw? Maybe even claw? Beats the heck out of me. I am just going to spoil thee. Yep, it is very true. You will get spoiled at your zoo. Spoiled about what? It sure isn't a mutt.

A blog will post every day.
A new post will come to stay.
You've just been spoiled.
Spoiler free has been foiled.

Books will be released.
Nature of the beast.
I just spoiled you.
That makes times two.

Cat pics will be shown.
Maybe even throw a dog a bone.
Comics will be drawn.
A few times a month they will spawn.

Blogs with nothing to say,
Will show up anyway.
Food recipes will be had.
Could drive some mad.

Freebies will be shown,
At a weekly tone.
Prompts will be taken,
All around they'll be bakin.

Wacky will be loved,
Or at least in your face shoved.
Top ten lists will come due.
Some "what's going on" too.

Pics of the outside,
While out for a ride.
Some movie picks,
With enjoyable flicks.

Things may be insecure,
As the voices lure.
Thankful days will come,
Beating the happy drum.

Some lovey dovey will show,
Making a hairball grow.
Some battles will come due,
With music through and through.

The clones will play,
When not on a vacation day.
And the alphabet will be said.
Have to keep that fresh in your head.

Damn, that was tough work. I had to find that out from many a lowly clerk. They spilled the beans to me and now I did to thee. You've been spoiled on much of blogland. Aren't you glad I gave you a hand? Now there is no need for surprise. I tell you no lies. Any spoilers you have on the blogland mass? Feel free to spoil my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Back We Go With Nuts In Tow!

We haven't seen the nuts for a while as in the book world they sure did pile. But the new year almost didn't start. It was thanks to some kind of art.

     Cassie and I were out for a stroll when we saw the bug eyed creep on patrol. Tarsier Man was dancing like a loon and singing his tune. He sure thought he was grand and asked us if we needed a hand. We said no and he still wanted to charge us dough. What a creep. I hope he goes and falls in a hole somewhere deep. As he strolled away, Cassie and I saw a rather familiar display. It was that third person talking nut. He is worse than a crap eating mutt.
     "Drazin sees the fleabags have rid themselves of that crazy human, Pat. Drazin would be impressed if Drazin was impressed by fleabags." Drazin grunted and made his eyes glow. We are so glad him and his two dollar contact lenses are no longer a foe.
     "What's the godly mook want? We never sent for you. Wait, have we ever?" Cassie puffed her tail up in the air and we trotted by him without a care. Then the shit hit the fan. At first we blamed that third person talking man. "What did you do, godly mook?"
     "Drazin didn't do this. Drazin is here to stop it. Drazin is a god after all. Drazin knew you fleabags would be here and Drazin  figured Drazin would let you help."
     "How many times did he just say his own name? Damn, you are ever so lame." I got ready for an attack as I gave Drazin some flack. The clock was still stuck and everyone around us was as frozen as a buck. You know, one of those frozen in those headlight things that glow.
     "I did it. I did it." Gunafu of color kept cheering as he hopped in view. I hate him more than Drazin between me and you. "Hey! Why are you three able to move? I froze time so there could be no new year. I can rob the world of color and remake it in my colorful image before time ever stops again. You should be frozen like everyone else."
     "Way to keep your secret plan secret." Cassie snickered at the schmuck as he was more foolish than a cartoon duck.
     "Drazin is a god. Your puny power can't stop Duke Drazin. Drazin helped the fleabags out too. Drazin figured they would want to have a piece of you."
     "Ho, why is it like everyone is a snowman?"
     "Gung, I have no idea. Do you think it is a snowman conspiracy?
     "Ho, we have to get out of here. Frosty is out to take over the world."
     "Did you have to protect them?" Cassie asked, as Gung and Ho started searching for cover. They tip toed around each frozen person like a scared rover. "Ugg, and him too?"
     "Tarsier Man is here, everyone give a cheer. He'll save your bank. Fill up your gas tank..."
     "Even I don't want that damn rhyme in my head. Stop crime and stop causing us dread." I noticed Drazin smirking away. He had to have caused this whole foray.
     "This is not possible. My carefully thought out plan can't be stopped by a bald guy, a giant monkey, two cats and two stupid humans. This is not possible."
     "Why do people say that when it is happening? Do you think they don't know the meaning of the word?"
     "Another human! This is not possible!" Gunafu of color threw a tantrum as Pat showed up. He even spilled his paint cup. The color then leaked out onto the ground and movement was once again found.
     "And now Drazin's job is done. Drazin loves it when Drazin doesn't have to do any work. Don't you love Drazin's plans?" Drazin smirked and then trotted away. "See you soon, fleabags."
     "Wow, that was the easiest bad guy take down ever." Cassie laughed as I grabbed his brush and snapped it. My sharp teeth are really a hit.
     "Ho, they are moving."
     "Gung, it's snowman zombies. Everyone for themselves."
     "Everyone give a cheer. Tarsier Man is here."
     As the two fools ran away Tarsier Man acted like he saved the day. People actually cheered the nut while we went back to our hut. Pat started acting like he had voices in his head once more. It was at that point we figured we were bound for some far off shore. Did we make it home? Did we roam? I guess we shall see what comes to be. Just be glad you aren't frozen anymore there at your shore.

It was quite the new year's day. It almost didn't come to play. Did you notice you were frozen at your bay? That would sure cause some dismay. At least now the true story has been told. Let that sink in and take hold. I'll go chase snarky Cass with my ever so little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.