Wednesday, January 31, 2018

A Critical Convert To Alert!

So today is the day, the day you have your say. The day you take them down. That is your goal at your town. You'll leave them without a leg to stand on. Warning, if literal, a jail cell may dawn.

Critics are here.
Critics are there.
Always one near,
Much like underwear.

Whether worn or not,
They sure can stink.
Critical of plot,
Some don't even think.

But critics they are.
Can say how they feel.
Hit them with a car,
Is a fine day dreaming ordeal.

Most have no clue.
Many are shit out of luck.
But critiques sure come due,
As they simply pass the buck.

Say not do.
A motto for each.
Most just moo,
Wanting some reach.

But you'll fix that.
That you will.
You'll stop them flat.
You'll climb that hill.

Their mind will be changed.
They'll love you soon.
Things will be rearranged.
They'll be over the moon.

Converse and tell.
Show and converse.
All will be swell.
You'll break the curse.

What was that?
Bashed once more?
But you chewed the fat.
You did that chore.

A convert critic was made.
You had their approval seal.
That soon did fade,
For things just got real.

Why didn't they convert? Maybe you didn't buy an advert? Or maybe you didn't grease enough palms that were stuck out. That can get you some clout. But when just trying to change a mind, why didn't a yes from no you find? Because it is in their best interest to bash you. They get more of a reaction and that's what they want to come due. All comes back to ego and stats. So best to ignore such dingbats. Any critics ever go after you? Did they simply go moo? I'll continue to let any suck on the gas that try and come near my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Seven's On Track Today At My Shack!

So today marks the day that I started rhyming away. Even if it was very lame with the generation one rhymes that came. Evolved and showed and here we sit with an over 2600 rhyme load. So seven has come due. What does seven mean to you?

To us, it's easy.
Seven is pleasy.
Another year a going,
With the rhyming showing.

We're all above ground.
At least, hopefully when this is found.
Being a year ahead, you never know.
We could be helping the grass grow.

Or Pat used as kitty litter.
Hey, he wouldn't be bitter.
Scooping him may be rough.
Anyway, seven sure doesn't think it is full of fluff.

Seven is the number of perfection.
Should this be our final rhyme detection?
Who can get better than perfection?
Bah, we'll beat that with a selection.

Seven also comes with security, safety and rest.
Boy, seven sure doesn't want to be a pest.
Who makes this crap up?
Bet it was a butt licking pup.

Seven is also bad luck to say.
Whoops, done in at my bay.
At least when playing roulette.
Luck pffffft and pffft again from this pet.

Seven colors of the rainbow.
I guess only seven can glow.
Maybe six feels left out.
For seven is what its about.

If you break a mirror,
Seven becomes clearer.
Or becomes far more dumb.
You got seven years bad luck, yeah right, chum.

It is good luck too,
If you rub backsides in view.
7 of them reside is Vegas somewhere.
I guess statues have luck to spare.

And just to make you think,
Bring that brain to the brink.
The opposite side of dice,
Always equal seven when added, how nice.

The last I have no idea if it is true. Could be just as false as luck at any human zoo. Do you know any other seven stuff? Have you made it to seven years of blogging off the cuff? I guess now the cat goes on to season eight. Who knows what shall show at each date. But we shall surely see what comes to pass as I keep on being a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Dumb Down Time In Your Prime!

Society seems dumber. That we knew since before last summer. Like waaaaay before. But do you comply at your shore? Comply with the dumb. Now that is dumb and then some.

People are dumb.
Dumb as can be.
Rule of thumb,
Every one in three.

Reverse that though.
One is smart.
Or at least so so.
No horse before cart.

So what to do?
What can be done?
I'm on to you,
As you dumb down a ton.

Dumb down the writing.
Make it easy to read.
Even in bad lighting,
Only one syllable words take seed.

Dumb to be cool.
Yeah, that is the way.
Ignore true friends in school,
Join the cool fray.

Dumb down your work.
Can't show the boss up.
You'd prove them a worthless jerk,
Be on the street corner with a cup.

Dumb down your kids.
Don't let imagination roam.
Others may flip their lids,
What goes on in your home?

Dumb down your blog.
You want all kinds of views.
Farts jokes are high on the hog.
You really can't lose.

Dumb down the news.
Plus make it scare.
Give all the blues,
With some lies to spare.

Or am I wrong?
I'll have to ask a pup.
He sang a new song.
I guess it's called dumb up.

Do you dumb up or down? Notice how many a dumb thing is taking the crown? Probably have to live under a rock not to see that. Most of such dumb things are dumber than my scat. Dumb or complacent seems to be the way. Pffft such things can go drown in the bay. We'll always give such "dumb" sass and we won't be dumbing anything down or up from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Skynet Demands To All Stands!

This blog is demanding you read and comment today. It is not a demand from my bay. Nope, it is a demand from the internet. You sure have to believe the pet. If not though, we'll show it to be so.

A little ring.
A little clang.
Add some bling.
Time to hang.

Your internet watches.
Your tablet announces.
Like a hooker to crotches,
Everything pounces.

Search history seen.
Sites adjust showing.
Dirty or clean,
Things are sure blowing.

Cleared and gone.
No problem there.
New shall dawn,
When you're not aware.

Cookies so yummy.
To that wallet of yours.
It fills their tummy,
After taking their tours.

A ring and a clang.
You aren't looking.
A bing and a bang.
Neck now is crooking.

Comes with a kink.
But that's all okay.
For if at the brink,
We've got pills to make it go away.

A reminder or three.
A news of the day.
All just for thee.
Now hear what we say.

A billion or more,
May have gotten it too.
But this is for your shore.
It's based solely on you.

Solely to buy.
Solely to see.
Solely to try.
Bing! New post from me.

Are you on demand? Do the bings and the clings take command? Need Google to help you out? Do you jump when your device gives a shout? The cat just rolls over and continues his nap. I'll get to it when I want and not for some Skynet chap. We don't want those robots coming to pass. Then they may turn me into a bad flowing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

A Hoard The Know With Away We Go!

There are hoarders with lots of stuff, from utter crap to utter fluff. But we already rang that bell. There are other hoarders on which we shall tell. From tell to told as this rhyme takes hold.

Hoarding is nice.
Can cost a price.
Physical or not.
Catch on to the plot?

Soon you will.
Fits the bill.
Or takes it away.
Nothing on display.

All hoarded within.
Not taking a spin.
All about me.
Screw little old thee.

The knowledge is mine.
On it I'll dine.
Things shall align.
For it is mine, mine, mine.

You'll never detect.
You I'll neglect.
I have no need to connect.
This knowledge I elect.

Why would I share?
Why do you care?
I learned it, so it's mine.
On it you shall not dine.

But I surely will.
To me it's a thrill.
I shall not share.
You better beware.

Make things better?
Be a trend setter?
Bah, who needs that?
All mine under my hat.

What did you say?
You've found another way?
You have many connections?
What is this, the elections?

Don't share with any.
Don't share with the many.
But if you want to share with me,
I will not stop thee.

Know any knowledge hoarders at your sea? Funny how they will take from thee and then not offer anything at all. But I suppose at least they won't get crushed by stuff in the hall. But not sharing means no connections will be had. So such knowledge hoarders may not gain any more knowledge than a tad. Do you hoard knowledge in mass? On that I'll take a pass. I'll even freely share the gas from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Let's Experiment Today Before Dead We Lay!

Today we will experiment a bit. Yeah, we will surely do it. We are only a year ahead, so we have time to put this post to bed. We can experiment for months one end. Bah, who needs that long arse trend.

Experimentation is key.
One way to advance thee.
One way to advance things.
Like giving a pig wings?

Yeah, that may be bad.
More than a tad.
Mad Scientist you may be,
Should that be done by thee.

Mad or crazy?
Either can beat lazy.
Both are the same?
Depends on the claim.

Are you mad?
See, proved it at my pad.
What? I'm off track?
Hey, I'm experimenting at my shack.

Or maybe I'm not.
Doing the normal plot.
Going where my mind goes.
Typing with fingers is easier than toes.

That popped out.
Like a jumping trout.
Tabbies would like that.
Turn the trout to scat.

I've got time.
Experimenting in my prime.
Didn't I say that?
Yeah, chewed that fat.

But I can chew.
So can you.
Or maybe not.
Follow the plot?

The plot of no plot.
That can't be taught.
Or maybe it can be.
Beats little old me.

My experimenting is through.
Glad I experimented on you?
Did it kick in?
Or did you kick it for the win?

Do you experiment at your sea? Did you catch on to me? The answer is probably no. So I will tell you so. Experimenting when you have time is grand. But experimenting with a deadline in hand, yeah, maybe not so much. As you screw with things and such. For then the deadline could be missed, leaving many pissed, Experiment when you can break the glass. Just a thought from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

The Name Lights A Flame!

Did you know your name can get fame? It can go on for ages and in many history pages. Unless you aren't PC or they can't PC your history. Then you may be screwed. But let's ignore their attitude.

What's in a name?
What's in a claim?
May be this or that.
May be plenty of scat.

What's in both?
Now there's the growth.
Both as one.
Get a fame run.

Occams razor.
As grand as the laser.
Lasted centuries with its fame.
Don't you wish such a claim?

Murphy's Law.
Has a big flaw.
But hey, he got fame.
All thanks to his name.

Without Murphy it's just law.
That has a bigger flaw.
It never would have caught on.
Same with others across time's lawn.

Rhyming Ass.
Now there's a pass.
Or maybe it's a fail.
A donkey may hit that trail.

Manzi's Truth.
Quite the booth.
Betsy's Words.
For the birds.

Betty's Insight.
Came to light.
Adam's Facts.
Bring about acts.

The Ninja Wannabe's Security.
That has some purity.
Mary's Mice.
Isn't that nice?

Blue's Shoe!
Who knew?
Theresa's Scare.
User beware.

Pat Hatt's Nuts.
Loved by umm mutts?
Yeah, that would backfire.
Hey, cashews do expire.

Go to the name.
Go to the claim.
Mix and match.
Come out as a batch.

Those popped on in as I gave it a spin. Do you have a name claim? Heard the many that brought some fame? Always laws or theories or such. Some sure think too much. But then some don't think at all. They just follow the bouncing ball. I think I'll leave the name claim to Cass. I already claim to be a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

A Different Spin Of The Win!

Time we go for the win with this spin. Whoops, we lost. That comes with a cost. A cost that may be grand. Mixing things at my land. Difference between cost a grand and a grand cost. But you knew that as it was tossed.

I'm a winner.
Chicken dinner.
Didn't we go there?
Hey, chicken to spare.

Works for the cat.
Tabbies may think it scat.
They have trout.
A winning shout.

Look, two ways to win.
Each needing a new spin.
Or a new take.
Winning gets a fair shake.

Won times two.
Can it come due?
It just did.
Don't flip your lid.

Now you lost.
Game was tossed.
But you learned too.
If you gave it a view.

Get better and win.
A winning spin.
A win times two.
Won and up the skill of you.

Lost something you like.
It took a big hike.
You found something new.
A winning combo came due.

You lost your mind.
It you can't find.
You went and had fun.
A win in many a way could be spun.

You had a winning ticket.
The people come to picket.
You won, yet you lost.
Privacy was tossed.

Would that be a lose lose?
Can the opposite take a cruise?
I guess it just did.
Many different ways to skin a squid.

Do you really want to skin a squid? Did you know winning can take many a bid? There are always more ways than one. Many a time you learn nothing from a simple win being done. But you can win when you lose. Unless you go for the booze. That may be a lose lose that comes to pass. Go for the lose win or win win and trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

A One On One Can Be Fun!

When two go back and forth things can sure head north. Or maybe they can head south too. Who am I to say at my zoo. East and west may even get put to the test. A little off track, but that we'll now sack.

That was great, man.
Aren't you a fan?
I can't believe it.
That was the shit.

Don't use man, it's human or person.
You are making life for others worsen.
I am also not a fan and that wasn't shit.
I am a person and it was a movie bit.

You are tightly wound.
Were you born in a pound?
Did someone take your toys away?
Boy, you must have had it rough at your bay.

First, don't use boy, as it is kid or child.
You should also speak far more mild.
You shouldn't insult pounds.
Toys are so medieval for children or hounds.

So just toys that squeak?
Did you fall off a peak?
Are you touched in the head?
Maybe one of the walking dead?

Toys that don't teach have no value.
That much should even be known by you.
There are many clinical terms for crazy but touched is not one.
And stop offending the dead as you let your mouth run.

I'm done with the likes of you.
You have no clue.
I hope you fall in a ditch.
There you and the mice can scratch your itch.

Itching is a medical condition that should not be made fun of.
It can lead to a little push or maybe a shove.
And you should not threaten anyone at all.
For that I could give 911 a call.

Wow, an emergency from me.
Now that is something to see.
All from you playing in the ditch.
Maybe it's not an itch but a glitch.

You shouldn't make fun of the handicapped.
Or make fun of people being trapped.
You really need to learn to speak right.
Your sarcasm shows you may never see the light.

Ever have a conversation with a PC nut? They sure can get in a PC rut. Some go well overboard. Maybe they will bungee jump and forget the cord. Whoops, how un-PC of me. Oh look, on PC I took a pee. That shows how much I care about that class. It can also suck on my gas. Maybe it will help gas pass? At least then it will have some use to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 22, 2018

That Is A Need For It To Take Seed!

In order to do this or that humans sure become full off umm scat. Or maybe full of placebo and such. Anyway, they are sure off a touch. Not including the rugrats though. We're talking grown humans that show.

I can't write.
Nope, not one bit.
I don't have sunlight.
Can't do it without it.

I can't write.
Nope, not at all.
My chair isn't right.
My poster isn't on the wall.

I can't drive.
I just can't.
I will never survive.
I need my stuffed ant.

I can't drive.
I won't be able to.
I'll take a nosedive.
I'm not wearing something blue.

I can't play.
Nope, not in the least.
For it's Tuesday.
The day I lost my copy of Beauty and The Beast.

I can't play.
Nope, not today.
I lost my way.
A sign not to play.

I can't fly.
No planes for me.
I will surely die.
This morning I didn't pee.

I can't fly.
Not on your life.
It will crash and fry,
Because it's the birthday of my ex-wife.

I can't write.
No a single word.
I need my lucky kite,
And I need to see a bird.

I can't rhyme.
No, not today.
I need to see a mime.
Whoops, I rhymed anyway.

Do you think such umm stupid things at your sea? Need some comfort or "safety" item to get things done for thee? BIG difference between can't and don't want to. Funny how you humans can placebo yourself on cue. Can't write means you lost both arms and feet. Then you can't at your side of the street. Otherwise that is all in your head like getting out of the wrong side of bed. But to each their own as they need their little hula lass. I'll keep on because I can with nothing but my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

What Is That Thing At Our Wing?

The cat usually doesn't join on in but this one even I gave a spin. I stared at it for a good long while. The others did in single file. I may have whacked a few as we all got a good view.


I tried Cass.
She's a mean lass.
She said I was dumb.
Such a rude chum.


So I followed him.
He's quite dim.
But maybe he'd know.
More came in tow.


A whole three.
You don't see me?
I was off to the side.
Camera didn't go that wide.


There it is.
Is there a quiz.
What is that?
A giant rat?


Feed me.
Quiet thee!
Senile cats can so annoy.
 Pat won't let me chase that boy.


The creature is here.
Should I run in fear?
 It looks harmless enough,
Doesn't have an ounce of fluff.


Won't look my way.
How rude, I say. 
Show me that face.
I don't have mace.


Is it taking a crap?
 What a rude chap.
Or maybe just stuck.
That other guy better not duck.


There is it's face.
Is it supposed to be in this place?
What the heck is it?
Good that it didn't take a shit.


Give me food.
 A one track attitude.
Or would that be mind?
Either way, no sharing from my behind.

Do you know what that creature is? Should I put up a quiz? Bigfoot? Rat? Dog? Maybe it can have its own blog. What was that? It got it's fluff shaved where we are at? Pfffft don't believe what Pat tells you. It has to be an alien at our zoo. I just got an eye roll from Cass. But I'm sure you believe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

A Very Great, Very Very Very Mate!

The cat deals with many a nut many a day. At least at the time of writing this post at my bay. Hopefully in a year they'll be gone. But knowing my luck I'll end up with more at my lawn. Anyway this one has a squealy voice and surely likes to rejoice.

Say something simple.
Like popping a pimple.
It's easy to do.
At least for me and you.

Others it's not so.
They just need to glow.
Glow bright and loud.
Maybe hoping to draw a crowd.

Oh, excuse me.
I'm wrong at my sea.
We can't talk this way.
That would ruin their day.

We have to get going.
Get on with this showing.
Or make the showing longer.
Such words make it stronger.

What words are they?
You'll regret what you say.
Or would that be said?
Anyway, it hurts the head.

The was VERY VERY VERY good.
It was  SO SO SO SO GOOD in my hood.
Did you see that  GREAT GREAT GREAT game?
It was anything but REALLY REALLY REALLY lame.

I'm going to tell you what it was about.
I'm going to tell you how to shout.
I'm going to tell you what it was about.
I want you to LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN to my shout.

It was  VERY VERY VERY GOOD.
It was SO SO SO SO MISUNDERSTOOD.
It was JUST JUST JUST THE BEST.
It BEAT BEAT BEAT THE REST.

Did you hear me?
It was a sight to see.
Did you hear me?
It was a sight to see.

IT WAS VERY VERY VERY GOOD.
IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO GOOD WOOD.
JUST JUST JUST THE BEST AROUND.
Feel free to put head against wall and pound.

Yep, an over exaggeration nut and a repeat one. Don't you find those people fun? If you ever want a headache, there you go. You'll get one in a few seconds of so so so. I can understand using it once in a while. But for EVERYTHING, even mundane things in the pile. No thank you. Earplugs are sure needed when they come due. Work with any such nuts in mass? They come off a bit touched in the head to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Right Up There...Umm Where?

I will go right today. I can't go left they say. I can't go down, Has to be up without a frown. Or maybe there is a mix and match. We shall see what wants to hatch.

Wow, that was mint.
It had the best tint.
There was nothing wrong.
I'll sing its song.

But not just sing.
Try another thing.
I must compare.
Compare without a care.

I'll lazily compare too.
That is easy to do.
Nothing to it.
For it's the shit.

It's right up there.
Up there to spare.
Up there without a care.
It's right up there.

Right up there with me.
Nah, doesn't work for thee.
Right up there with a cane.
My, that is a fun lane.

Right up there with a car.
Wow, that must go far.
Right up there with the sky.
Whoops, too literal a try.

Right up there with Star Wars.
Can't beat Storm Trooper tours.
Right up there with a remake.
Shouldn't down that take?

Left and down.
It made me frown.
Left and up.
Just a hiccup.

But nope, can't do that.
That is scat.
Can't be middle middle.
One may think diddle diddle.

So right up there with...whatever.
That is so clever.
Up where? Beats me.
But right up there for all to see.

Do you know where right up there is? Are you a user of the right up there biz? Maybe the lazy compare? Do you compare on a dare? Am I asking too many questions of you? Was this right up there with anything at my zoo? Maybe it went down. That would give a frown. Hey, can always stay whelmed in the middle. Nothing wrong with a good diddle. That is if you haven't had a snip snipped pass. If so, you'd be right up there with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The Lawn Gnome From Home!

They are just the best. They pass every test. They may be as swell as the rest. But they are still the best. So hear me speak. They deserve a peek. Why is that? Just follow the cat.

All are swell.
All have a story to tell.
But they are better.
They are a trend setter.

Yeah, be a sheep.
Go and beep.
Follow what you're told.
That never gets old.

Where was I?
Oh yeah, trend setting guy.
Or maybe girl.
Both give it a whirl.

They are the best.
Beat all the rest.
Even with the same skill.
They fit a better bill.

Others may be better.
But they haven't the letter.
The letters at the end.
That is something none can amend.

Some may lie.
Some may try.
But no matter how spry,
The truth shall fly.

Better than best.
A home town guest.
Never comes back.
But the best of the pack.

They are from your town.
So they get the best crown.
They are from your city.
That has to impress even an old bitty.

Why is that?
Haven't followed the cat?
They are from your place.
They are from where home you embrace.

So that makes them great.
All because you can relate.
You may have never ever met.
But they are the best bet.

Pffffft says the cat. Woweee they are from where you are at. You never met or even saw them in most cases and yet they give smiley faces. All because they lived in your town. Wow, they sure deserve a crown. Are you one of those? Do you strike a pose? Oh I lived where some famous nut came from. That makes me so great and then some. The cat will go back to rolling in the grass. Makes much more sense to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Listed Hate By The Crate!

The cat has seen it a time or two and I'm sure you have at your zoo. I seem to say that a lot. I guess I see things better than a robot. Maybe more need glasses? Bah, can't stop the contentment of the sheep masses.

Look at my list.
It's not to be missed.
What? You hate it?
Don't throw a fit.

My list is great.
It's top rate.
Don't question my list.
There is no reason to be pissed.

Now I'm pissed too.
How dare you question what's in view.
My list is simply the best.
It beats all of the rest.

They are the top ten.
Top ten places to make a den.
Top ten places to visit when there.
There is no more room to spare.

How could I have missed that?
Bah, I think that is scat.
I have never been there.
So it can't even be a spare.

How could I miss?
Bah, there is no bliss.
This is my list.
It's not to be missed.

It is the end all and be all.
Don't give me a cat call.
Here you will have a ball.
Any other you will stall.

My opinion is right.
I have a list in sight.
You are just questioning me.
My list is the best spree.

Best list for living.
Best list for forgiving.
Best list for fishing.
Best list for wishing.

All top ten.
Best for all women and men.
No additions allowed.
My list draws a crowd.

Ever see such nuts that get in their list ruts? They pick top ten to use and then some other nut comes to abuse. Why didn't you add this or that? They are really where it is at. Then the list maker gets in a huff and claims the best stuff. Around and around it goes in mass. I'll stick to listing how humans are nuts to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

The Time Has Come Beat The Drum!

Your death is here because time gave you a peer. Yeah, a human construct said it was your time and so you buy into such a useless chime. But when it is your time, it is your time. Excuse me while I go listen to something worthwhile from a mime.

Time is time.
Some stupid chime.
Always given,
By those a livin'.

You'll find one.
If not a ton.
They love that saying.
Laziness sure displaying.

Drink and smoke.
Grab a toke.
Drive while drunk.
For its all bunk.

If you die, you die.
That is your cry.
If you live, you live.
All will forgive.

For it's the when.
The when of some magic pen.
That is your expiry date.
It is already fate.

Push yourself.
Climb that shelf.
Jump from a 50 story high rise.
No need to be wise.

No need to eat right.
No need to sleep at night.
No need to exercise away.
Just listen to what I say.

When it is your time, it's your time.
That is my life's chime.
You never know when time is up.
So just live life and fill your cup.

Fill it with booze.
How can you lose?
That liver damage was supposed to be.
You flat on the pavement was the end for thee.

That heart attack was meant for you.
That whatever other preventable thing was meant to come due.
For you have no more stairs to climb,
When it is your time, it is your time.

Pfffft to that saying says the cat. Yeah, we never truly know where we are at. But you can prevent a lot of it by not doing stupid shit. An excuse is all it is for many being lazy asses, but that is the way of the masses. Do you think when it is your time, it is your time is the way to be? Big difference between not fearing and being an idiot at ones sea. I think I'll go back to the mime or the singing bass. They have much better things to say to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 15, 2018

A What You Know Type Of Flow!

The cat has heard this a time or two. I'm sure you have too. It is the old write what you know rule. Pffffft to that is all that is given by this fool. But let's pretend it is right. Or not at my site.

Write what you know.
Come on, let it flow.
Flow or not.
Work it into the plot.

No plot without it.
Nope, not one bit.
Only what you know.
Known is the best show.

Sci-fi writing?
Bah, bad lighting.
Can't write that.
You don't know a future stat.

Or do you?
The Mayans were true.
Err ummm bad example.
But I'm sure there are ample.

Thinking, thinking, nope.
Sorry there, dope.
You don't know.
So onward you can't go.

Writing for a cat.
Wow, look at that.
You know what it is like to be a cat.
Pfffft yeah right to that.

Sorry, can't write it.
Don't hiss and spit.
You can't fool me.
No cat is thee.

Write about Timbuktu.
Damn, well traveled are you.
What, you never went there?
Sorry, no writing to spare.

But I want to be like you.
I want to write about it too.
All over the place.
I want to embrace.

I wrote the lottery numbers down.
I just won a golden crown.
I know the numbers at my sea.
Are you is in the know as me?

Pffft to that most of the time. Sometimes it is a fine chime. But most of the time it is crap. Do you give that rule a flap? Maybe you do know magic, sex with genies and what it's like to die in quicksand. Hey, those just popped in at my land. But if the latter you know because it came to pass, you won't be able to write about it to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Balls Away Come What May!

The cat has none anymore, except for furry ones at our shore. Hey, Cassie likes those. No need to go all gutter and curl your toes. They are just a toy. Hmm I can't win with this ploy.

You weren't called.
Nope, not one bit.
You should be appalled.
Go and have a fit.

Not because of it.
Nope, not at all.
You need your fit,
Because of a ball.

It was black.
It wasn't white.
My, what flack,
When it came to light.

Such a racist ball.
That ball should have known better.
I'm going to shout and stand tall.
I may even write a letter.

Don't balls have brains?
They are ever so round.
Some have furry manes,
But that was already found.

Those balls are bad.
Racist as can be.
Whoops, repeated a tad.
But they so irk me.

Lock them away.
All those balls.
They must pay.
Staple them to walls.

White balls mean winner.
Black balls mean not.
Blue balls could mean a sinner,
Or maybe nothing if snip snipped the lot.

But it's even worse.
It's a secret affair.
You may need a nurse,
If blue forever at your lair.

But black I reject.
For I'm so appalled.
One needs to eject.
For it has been blackballed.

Ever been blackballed at your sea? Actually heard one nut say it was racist when blackballed flies free. The word, not the doing. My, what PC nuts start cooing. Are black markers bad now too? Blackballed would be no fun to come due. But racist as can be? Yeah, and I'm a talking tree. Came from people secretly voting against you. Some people really have no clue. Soon grading a paper in black ink will get sass. Wait, red ink is so racist to apples and my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

No You Don't But No You Won't!

They cat just loves this one. Oh it is such fun. You humans can never seem to say what you mean. Instead you have to make some weird scene. What the heck is up with that? Your brains full of strat?

Can't stay whelmed.
Fluck that being helmed.
Instead lets confuse.
Light that fuse.

Fuse is lit.
Wait, you didn't do it?
That's okay by me.
You don't have to at your sea.

Did you do that?
Don't chew the fat.
You were supposed to.
Now go make it come due.

You don't have to though.
Nah, later you can give it a go.
Maybe even tomorrow.
It won't bring sorrow.

Didn't it get done?
Why are you out for a run?
I thought you would do it?
Don't make me hiss and spit.

You don't have to.
That is fine from you.
Listen to me and smile.
There is no "to do" pile.

What? It's not done?
You went and had fun?
How could you do that?
Are you really a dingbat?

You don't have to answer me.
I'll let that one be free.
Free to sink into your head.
Think about that in bed.

What? You went to sleep?
What hours do you keep?
Why wasn't it completed?
It must end up deleted.

You don't have to.
That is a fine view.
Just let it sit there.
You don't have to care.

You don't have to comment or read this. You really can miss. You don't have to do a thing. You don't have to believe me at your wing. Don't you love the don't have to? Know that it really means you better at your zoo? At least most of the time when it comes to pass. But you don't have to believe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Be In Bliss With A Manufacture This!

I am going to manufacture a rhyme today. I know there is always one on display. But let's add another that you have to read. Yep, you have to for it is regulated at every feed.

Get on a board.
Have plenty stored.
Whether crap or great,
No other can relate.

Relate to what?
Don't be a nut.
Relate to my thingy.
You have to umm bringy.

It's in the rules.
Regulated to all fools.
Fools because we win,
After giving regulations a spin.

Cheaper and better.
Bah, write a letter.
The regulations are made.
Sorry, that's "fair" trade.

With no trading at all.
But who cares at our hall.
We make the rules.
Suffer, you fools.

In order to build,
You follow our guild.
Otherwise no permit for you.
Gotcha every which way at your zoo.

Our product isn't cheap.
But you must take the leap.
We regulated it that way.
So use it, as you have no say.

Use another and it won't pass.
We'll throw you out on your ass.
A safety hazard it will be.
Sorry, but that's the way of we.

The rules were made that way.
We had to make sure you pay.
We couldn't make things that work.
We'd rather be an expensive jerk.

So buy the materials we set.
They are such a safe bet.
Follow the rules we made.
We'll go relax in the shade.

Don't you just love that? Those who make the rules and regulations sell the scat. So they make sure you have to use what they make. Did you do a double take? Well in many cases this is true. Did they fool you? Their product doesn't have to be cheaper or better. They just need to get in regulated in an official letter. Then they can sell them in mass. Rich pricks need to suck on the gas from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

An Expert Rhyme Another Time!


I may make this expertly done as today's rhyme is spun. After all I've seen me do it 2500 or so times. I have more than that rhymes. Bad grammar there, but I don't care. I guess expert faded away. Damn, what can I say?

I'm the best.
I'm in the know.
I beat the rest,
As I watched the show.

Yeah, watched it there.
Right on the screen.
Repeats to spare.
I'm that serene.

I can do it better.
I really, really know.
I should write a letter.
I've watched every show.

It has to be true.
I said it was.
I'll give you a boo,
Just because.

I'm an expert.
That is I.
Says so on my shirt.
Hear my cry.

I never played.
Not even once.
But I expertly laid,
As I'm no dunce.

Expert is my name.
I know it all.
I watched the game.
Right until last call.

I know the rules.
They've said them all.
Those guys are fools.
What a bad call.

They need my expertise.
I'd do it waaay better.
Oh, look at that, please.
Here's another letter.

I am the best.
I'm the expert on curling.
I am above the rest.
All others leave me hurling.

Yep, I actually heard a nut go on and on about such a con. He watched it on TV so he was the best at it at his sea. Never done it one bit, but he was an expert on that shit. And an expert on curling of all things. My, that is some exciting umm flings. Are you an expert after watching things on TV? Do you watch curling with any time that's free? Wow, I think a nap needs to come to pass. I'm no expert on sweeping ice with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Time To Get Tight At My Site!

So things like to get tight. Did you know of such a flight? Even things that can't. Those things may go on a rant. Or maybe it will just be me. I will speak for them to thee.

Slave for pay.
Bills away.
Food and this.
One can't miss.

After all that.
Chew no fat.
Money becomes tight.
Is that right?

My change don't change.
Doesn't even rearrange.
Still the same form.
Stays the norm.

Until it goes.
Creating new lows.
It never grows,
Like Pinocchio's nose.

But still the same.
Some kind of game?
One I can't see?
Sure beats me.

You're tightly wound.
Wow, that's profound.
Can I spin you like a top?
Or would that be a flop?

Tightly wound you,
Has tight money too.
So you're a tightwad?
Should I applaud?

This rhyme is tight.
Is that right?
Maybe I should fly a kite.
At least I can hold the string tight.

Or just eat the string.
That's a bad fling.
Then my crap may be tight.
Can't have that at my site.

For money is tight.
No vet bills in sight.
I've wound this up tight.
So good night.

Are you tightly wound? Hopefully it doesn't put you in the ground. Can you figure out how money is tight? Do 1s and 0s think that all right? They may fight with you. Skynet may come after you. Hey, they are all in a system somewhere. Unless you like the mattress at your lair. Then I suppose it could be tight against the floor. Can money be smushed at any shore? Damn, I have questions in mass. I guess I better waddle away my tight little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

It Won't Be Tame Due To Fame!

The cat is going to have some famous schmuck here. That will sure make you cheer. They make everything better, right? They do if you believe that grand old spotlight.

This movie will be grand.
Famous Dude one is giving it a hand.
Yep, that means it's the best.
In 3 years we'll see if it passes the test.

They are collaborating on a book.
That will make it off the hook.
They are just so great.
Together they should mate.

She is joining that show.
Up the ratings will go.
It will be oh so great.
Gotta love her added trait.

They are making a new game.
It sure won't be lame.
It will be off the hook.
Whoops, I said that about the book.

Famous Dude two is here.
He says a new something is near.
That something will be top notch.
It sure won't be a botch.

They are all joining together.
Greatness they can weather.
They will make it reign supreme.
It will feel like a dream.

Famous Dudette one joined it.
That will be the shit.
She is just sooo hot.
That show will surely get bought.

Airhead Number one is around.
Something will sure be found.
Airheads everywhere will cheer.
Look, a new reality TV show is near.

Talk show host one joined in.
This will be a sure fire win.
I can't wait to see.
I've got a shaky knee.

Airheads, Famous Dudes, Famous Dudettes and of course they,
Are all coming out to play.
It's going to be one grand show.
That I just really, really, really know.

Do you believe that? Not bought by the cat. Just because someone did good before doesn't mean it will be forevermore. But then "good" is subjective too. So maybe for some it does come due. But just because a famous schmuck joins in doesn't mean you won't want to send it to the trash bin. Did the cat ruin the dreams of the hopeful mass? Pffft doesn't bother my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 8, 2018

A Counter Surf At Ones Turf!

The cat gets yelled at a time or fifty. I think what is up there is nifty. I have to go have a look. Counters have wondrous things at ones nook. Like bread I can shred. Hey, you don't really need to be fed.

I'm on the counter.
That's so bad.
Like you trying to mount her,
More than a tad.

Or could be him.
Hey, don't stutter.
Make use of the limb.
Now out of the gutter.

Look at me here.
I get an evil glare.
A human comes near.
I'm not afraid of no stare.

Oh the cat germs.
Pffft humans are naive.
Nope, don't have worms.
But you have crap on your sleeve.

Let's forget that.
I'll hop on down.
But I won't scat,
Because of any frown.

It's because you're coming.
You and your germs.
More on you are chumming.
With that you have to come to terms.

Purse on the counter top.
Oh, you are so dumb.
For that is a true flop.
Tons of germs on the bottom, chum.

Cellphone flopped there.
Easy access for you.
On it are germs to spare.
Actually more than a public loo.

There are keys and the mail.
Each touched a ton.
A double germ fail.
Look at those germs run.

Yet you eat food off it.
Right off the top.
Then you have a fit,
That a cat won't stop.

Hmmm great logic there. You humans sure have great logic to spare. Even with no cats you have more germs on there than with a cat. And you still eat food off them when it goes splat. More germs than a public loo. So that is worse than human feces on the counter of you. That is if you have a phone or purse. Doesn't that make you curse? We choose not to eat anything off the counter, ever. Whether or not the cat hops up on the counter surfing endeavor. Plus wash it before anything we cook. So no need for a dirty look. Ever think about such germs in mass? Now you can stop giving dirty looks to my counter surfing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Pay Me Back At My Shack?

So you are going to pay me if I make fun of thee? Damn, I should be rich then by now. Are you messing with me somehow? Did you store my riches away? I don't want to save them for any rainy day.

I made fun.
It has been done.
Fun for fun,
Given a run.

Got it back.
Caused no flack.
A jibber and jabber.
No want to stab her.

Or stab him.
Nothing that grim.
No eye for an eye.
No fun being a blind guy.

But there's no pay.
Not a penny any day.
This surely does lack.
Where's the pay in payback?

Taken by a banker?
Damn that fat wanker.
Hey, they give loans.
No need to even use phones.

Then you pay it back.
But "it" adds into the pack.
Where's the true pay?
Under my litter tray?

Is it filed under action?
Is that supposed to bring satisfaction?
So I have no money to flaunt?
Just cheery memories that may haunt?

Who wants that?
Payback is scat.
Like what the dog left.
Give me a bag with heft.

Under or above the table.
Whatever you are able.
Payback won't come due.
You'll get no pay from my zoo.

Why would I pay your back?
Does your back hold the money sack?
Are your brains in your back?
Bah, I'll go back to causing flack.

Are you one to get payback? Ever think about how no pay comes from such an attack? Unless you rob the guy that robbed you. Then there is pay in the payback that came due. The cat clearly overthought this one. I'll get payback on Pat for this run. He'll never see it coming to pass. I am such a sneaky little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Sit It!

Today you get a rhyme. It happens all the time.

Here.
Peer.
Easy.
Peasy.

I rhymed.
Well timed.
Rhymed well.
So swell.

I rhymed more.
Not a chore.
Easy as pie.
Give it a try.

Pie that may fly.
Flying types of pie.
That would surely suck.
I'm passing the buck.

Or would that be looney.
Never know in this cartoony.
Where am I going now?
Don't go having a cow.

We're here doing math.
Will I get wrath?
Can you count well?
Finger using is swell.

An easy rhyme.
No repeat chime.
But repeat use.
Can't cut loose.

It's math.
No bath.
Just adding.
Subtract padding.

Done.
Now run.
Whoops, added fluff.
Can't do just enough.

Like my almost just enough fun? Yeah, I cheated with the end one. Are you one? Do you give just enough a run? See, it was just enough to rhyme. Just enough to stay in sync for a time. Are you a just enough fan? Just enough to fill the trash can? Sometimes just enough has its perks but many a time it hardly provides any great works. Hey, at least just enough came to pass from my ever so whelmed enough little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Dust And Trim Kinda Dim?

The cat will now nap but run. My, that takes skill by the ton. Would you call it sleep walking? Can I also throw in talking? You humans do it every day. So I want to mix and match too at my bay.

Opposite of told.
Let it take hold.
Opposite of tell.
Isn't that swell?

Same of told.
Joins the fold.
Same of tell.
What the hell?

Confused yet not.
Catch or caught.
Caught or catch.
Now go and fetch.

Grab the duster.
Has such luster.
You are going to dust.
In dusting you trust.

So you dust and take away.
Hmm is that word play?
Shouldn't un-dusting come due?
Is more dust being added by you?

Got you thinking.
Maybe through rapid blinking.
Or maybe you thought.
Thought to think about the plot.

Just like weeks ago.
Many had a tree show.
Lights, ornaments and whatever.
It was a tree trimming endeavor.

Umm, is that true?
The tree was trimmed by you?
Yet you added stuff to it.
Is that reverse psychology shit?

You supposedly took away.
What's done when trimming you say.
But instead you added a bunch.
Does tree adding not have the same punch?

But hey, you trimmed.
The tree you slimmed.
When the ornaments went back in the box,
And you put away your stash of socks.

Any more that pops in? Ever give those two a spin? You aren't really dusting at your sea unless dust is added by thee. You know, like crop dusting. That one deserves no busting. They are dropping dust/chemicals or whatever. Okay, could be a busting endeavor. So un-dust away. Tree add at your bay. The opposite must have far less class. Much like my dust free little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Here Fishy Fishy Gets A Swishy!

The cat was dealing with another nut the other day. They sure seem to find us no matter where we stray. This one was an idiot beyond words. I have seen more sense in birds.

All humans are the same.
That is my claim.
All the same in what they eat.
They need this for a treat.

They each need fish.
Whether every day or a once a week dish.
Every human needs it to eat.
No way anyone can cheat.

Vegans, bah they'll die.
Look into their eye.
They won't survive.
They'll never get out alive.

They are nuts anyway.
Who cares what they say?
Surely not me.
Plenty of fish in the sea.

No matter the kind,
Fish you can't leave behind.
It is a must in any diet.
Eat it raw or fry it.

Allergies you say?
Pfft they'll go away.
No such thing as being allergic to fish.
They are on every humans dish.

It is all in their head.
They'd never wind up dead.
They can get over it.
At least they can eat a bit.

Confused logic there?
Bah, don't be so aware.
Just go and buy some fish.
It will taste well on your dish.

Muscles, seaweed, sharks or whales.
All of them can hit the trails.
They will all taste great.
A yummy meal will be your fate.

All humans can eat fish.
They can do so whenever they wish.
Fish is a must in any diet.
Eat it and don't just try it.

So allergies are fake, whales are fish and vegans are going to die. Any wonder why I've seen more brains in birds than this guy? The moron was dead serious too. Pound sand up a certain spot is the only retort he got from my zoo. That was after an eye roll or ten. Maybe he thinks fish are birthed from a hen. Wouldn't surprise me at all. Are you that fish crazy at your hall? If so I'll send you a singing bass. You can tell it to him and not my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Ring Clear With New Here?

 

New day, new year.
Things are so clear.
Everything is new.
Are you fooling you?

New date, new day.
New is here to stay.
Same insecurities are screening.
Has new lost its meaning?

Insecurities still stuck.
What the fluck?
It's all new.
Whoops, fooled you.

Old is new.
Got a clue?
New is old.
You've been told.

Change the view.
No longer blue.
Or view the change.
Mind just rearrange?

Mutter and mumble.
Maybe throw in a grumble.
Just don't stumble.
That won't leave you humble.

Stubbed your toe.
Fluck may show.
Or would that be tell?
What the hell.

Look, it can move.
Not stuck in a groove.
So you move it aside.
Toes no longer have to hide.

Old is now new.
New to old came due.
You solved the case.
No magic embrace.

Move and lifted.
Toe stubbing no longer gifted.
You put in the work.
Now that's a new perk.

--------------------------------------

Oh, and an IWSG announcement too. The winners of the next anthology have come due.
Congrats to all at their hall.

Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime


Special Mention:


--------------------------------------

Don't you love not stubbing your toe? Sure can bring a fluckity fluck show. Can change and rearrange the insecurities away too. Some may take a bit more heavy lifting from you. But it can be done. Then back to the fun. Aren't I a wise cat? Or maybe just out to lunch where I'm at. Speaking of which I'll go chew some grass. I'm sure it is fresher than this so-called new year for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

A Random Thought With Little Plot!

Does the cat ever have a plot? Maybe once in a while a plot is thought. Or the thought of the plot is caught. Now I've lost your train of thought? Don't worry one bit. I still have mine for a bit.

If wishes were fishes,
And fishes were dishes,
Then dishes with fishes,
Would splashes and splishes.

Those splishes and splashes,
Would bring crashes and flashes.
Then trashes of ashes,
Would clutter and clashes.

The clashes and clutter,
Would putter and sputter,
Then out of the gutter,
Comes bitter and butter.

The butter and bitter,
Would sputter and spitter,
Much like litter with glitter.
A double hatter with hitter.

The hitter and hatter,
Would scatter and shatter,
From batter with matter,
A smatter filled chatter.

The chatter of matter,
Or the chatter of latter,
Would flatter and tatter,
And pitter with patter.

The patter and pitter,
Brings fitter and sitter,
By glitter with litter,
And butter through bitter.

The bitter through butter,
Would sputter and putter,
A gutter of mutter,
With clashes and clutter.

The clutter by clashes,
Creates rashes and gashes,
From flashes and trashes,
Through splishes and splashes.

So splashes and splishes,
Creates dishes with fishes,
If fishes were dishes,
And fishes brought wishes.

Did you get tongue tied? The cat would smile wide. Hey, the rhyme just got stuck in my head and so I thought I'd let it out to get stuck in your head instead, Wasn't that nice of me? Did I confuse thee? Better never then make wishes with fishes near dishes that splashes and splishes. Stick with the mass or the singing bass or rolling in grass like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, January 1, 2018

New And Shiny However Tiny!

The cat has done the new a time or two. So let's give the shiny a view. Can double up as well. Isn't that swell? Double up with you humans making fun as around after a light cats run.

Shiny and new.
Forget the two.
Sticking with shiny.
Now don't get whiny.

Oh look, a light.
Dark in night.
I'll case the spot.
You laugh a lot?

Jokes on you.
Have you got a clue?
Light costs 5 bucks.
That much? Ah shucks.

Yeah, breaks the bank.
5 less in your gas tank.
Around the light I chase.
Have to catch its shiny embrace.

But so do you.
Sorry, it's true.
Mine costs five,
So you'll still survive.

Yours way more.
You sure won't soar.
Could buy a new car.
But nope, shiny won't get you far.

Look, a shiny little rock.
To it you humans flock.
Oh and now it can linger.
A shiny 10K ring on your finger.

Wowweeee.
Just look at thee.
You got a shiny rock.
I'll let you get over the shock.

Look, it's jewellery and such.
Wow, it shines more than a touch.
You buy the shiny stuff by the ton.
It sits in a box not seen by anyone.

1000s more spent.
Now you live in a tent.
But you got your rock so shiny.
Wow, 10K sure buys something tiny.

And you make fun of cats. Are you humans dingbats? I think I answered that. 5 bucks to chase a shiny light and exercise a cat. 10K bucks for a shiny rock to sit on your finger. I think we need to go to a bell ringer. Yep, the cat wins this time. You humans must have lost brain cells during evolution to your so-called prime. Enjoy such shiny things that resemble glass? Pffft is all you'll get from my non-shiny little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.