Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Draw A Line So All Align!

The cat does it every day. I guess I can be an artist at my bay. Who knew I was so artistic at my sea? All it takes is going to have a pee. Hey, I draw a line when I bury it. I may make double when I shit.

Draw a line.
All is fine.
It you shall not pass.
Not even for bad gas.

Draw it in the sand.
Isn't that grand?
A line that fades,
As the tide wades.

A wise move for you.
With the line you can screw.
May get sand between your toes,
But an excuse to stoop to new lows.

My line is still there.
I am still aware.
But I had to re-draw it.
Life gave me too much shit.

So I made my line.
All is now fine.
In comes the tide,
Line takes a new ride.

I am lined up again.
Never fear at my den.
That's as far as I go.
I won't change for a foe.

The foe I dared.
My line is spared.
They crossed it.
They deserve a hit.

I never drew a thing?
Don't give me that ring.
I drew a line in the sand.
Even if no beaches at hand.

I drew it and it's true.
Pass it, I dare you.
It only moves when I say so.
You pass it and you are a foe.

You deserve flack and more.
Crossed it at my shore.
A fictional thing in my head.
But they caused me dread.

Do you make imaginary lines in imaginary sand? Do you go all Terminator when they are passed in your land? How exactly can you draw a line with no sand or paper? You humans sure make up many a weird caper. Using sand so you can change it at your will. That sure must keep you chill. Draw your fictional line in cement or something like that. Then you may be less full of scat. Not much more in mass. But a little less to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

A Structured Life Free From Strife!

Follow the flow here at my show. You will be happy and never sappy. That is just the way. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I bet you do as it has been ingrained in you.

One, two, three.
Another rhyme is here.
It has come to be.
So you stop and peer.

It is just the way.
The way you like.
You come to play.
Never taking a hike.

Just a little thing.
A little thing you do.
A fine thing to spring.
But is that all for you?

TV says how to dress.
So that you do.
Trends they confess.
Have to go with the new.

Works sets rules.
Those you have to follow.
They were made by fools,
And are many a time hollow.

But can't buck the trend.
It has been put in place.
Your employment will end,
If you don't embrace.

Have to eat a certain way.
You can't not be an eater.
That just doesn't play.
Not to snowmen or trick or treater.

Have to amass and believe.
Believe in a certain after life.
It helps you grieve,
And keeps away strife.

Have to vote a certain way.
Forget using your head.
No matter what they say,
Go with what's been led.

These are your boundaries.
Don't step beyond.
They were made up in ancient foundries.
So don't create ripples in the pond.

Don't you love the structure of your life? Wasn't even given to you by someone who matters like husband or wife. Nope, given to you by rules put in place and you automatically just embrace. Don't question or make a suggestion. That will be ever so bad. The structure police may end up mad. Just follow away as each day does pass. Trust, not really, my non-structured little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 26, 2018

The Disconnective Connect With No Neglect!

Pat is back with another non-rhyming book. He sure is getting a ton of those out at our nook. The cat will have to rhyme more to make up for it. It is a sequel to The Connective that was maybe, sorta, hopefully a hit. Hey, I am writing this far in advance. So I can't take a firm stance.

Sally, Travis, and Billy continue to fight to survive in the aftermath of their battle with the demon, which forces Sally to do whatever it takes to provide for her son, Alex, and the others. But after an altercation puts them back in the eyes of The Connective, they find themselves dealing with a whole new reality.

Mysteries of the demon and the planes deepen as they go on an adventure that they never asked for to get their being back home. Entering planes they know nothing about, they must rely on each other now more than ever, especially when a new evil arises that wants to free the demon and end their lives. 

Fighting the odds with old friends, new friends, and weapons that hold a power only to them, they will stop at nothing to find the key that opens the doorway home. Together they remain determined to see each other through the many dangers of the planes beyond their own and survive by embracing The Disconnective.

So there you are another novel at our sand bar. Sound interesting to you? That makes another added to the pile at our zoo. This one flowed like the last. 20 days to write both books with this cast. 150K words in that time. Yeah, I brag a bit as I rhyme. It just wanted to be told and came to pass. That is all from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

It Has Been Said Even If In Your Head!

Humans must have lots of voices in their head like me. For they sure go to it with glee. Or maybe they just prove they are full of crap. But hey, could be the voices in the head of each lass or chap.

Thoughts are spinning.
I'm sure winning.
At least I will.
I'll fit the bill.

They say...
Come what may.
Who are they?
What the hey.

They are me.
Shhhh may be we.
But they are here.
They just aren't clear.

They said so.
They created this flow.
It wasn't me.
They went on a spree.

They's right.
They aren't in sight.
But they say it.
They aren't full of shit.

I'm right...I mean they.
It is what they say.
Don't put it on me.
They are on a spree.

Oh, don't say that.
You are full of strat.
I am the whelmed one.
For they say it isn't fun.

They say it is done.
They say under the gun.
They say what is spun.
They said it, Hon.

They said that.
Not the cat.
I cringed a bit.
They did it.

They say it is time.
Time to end this rhyme.
They say you will retort.
They filed their report.

Are you one of those? Do you strike a "they say" pose? If you can't win do you go with they say? Even when you never heard a they say at your bay? Just be lazy and go with the they. You can win an argument that way. They may be magical fairies in your mind, but they may get you out of a bind. They say I just passed some gas. They sure say so much about my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

A Present That's Quick Doesn't Click!

Pat tried to get off cheap this year. He gave a moving present to my rhyming rear. I guess since I am nine he doesn't want me to get fat. Pfffft if there is a chance of that.

There we were,
Resting our fur.
Yep, Cassie's there too.
 Hey, I'll show you.

 See? There she is.
Doing the napping biz.
She won't wake.
I'll give her a shake.

What did I get today?
Tell me, okay?
I won't tell Pat.
Don't look grumpy at the cat.

Is it in there with you?
Nah, that can't be true.
It has to be big.
 Maybe a new cat tower rig.

What is this?
A gate doesn't cause bliss.
Are you trying to keep me in?
 That will never work at any bin.

Cassie says she sees it.
 She sees every bit.
She wants to show me.
I think she wants it for she.

Whoops, she has an itch.
Those can be a bitch.
But can't you do that later?
My present may fall into a crater.

Oh, so it's out there.
Must be big if your aware.
Will it come through the window.
 Better not be a crow.

What? It's up there?
 That small little thing is my present affair?
Do you expect me to go catch and eat it?
Pffft I'm too old for that shit.

I'll go back to napping.
 Pat better start clapping.
He better get me a gift.
Or I'll get him some swift.

Did you see my gift? Does it make your spirits lift? Hint, it is right on top. Pat really tried to get off cheap but it was a flop. I'm sure I'll get something better out of him or he'll lose a limb. That squirrel is still going strong. A year later he plays along. The dogs like to chase him in mass. He doesn't fight back like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Like Playing Chess With A Dress!

The cat runs around bare so he wasn't aware. But you humans sure have a way with your clothes. Some even will turn up their nose. Up, down and all around are easily found.

Look at you.
No nudist in view.
Can't have that.
Fine by this cat.

Even if easier.
Surely not pleasier.
Made me cheat rhyme.
That is just a crime.

Time to dress this up.
Sip tea from a cup.
Dress up to impress.
First move in dress chess.

Time to dress down.
No need for a gown.
Dress down when out.
It holds far more clout.

So dress down to dress up?
Trying to confuse a pup?
Dress up to dress down?
When the floor meets the gown.

Whoops, nudist once more.
Forget that encore.
You have to get dressing.
Can't leave any guessing.

1000's of options there.
Just give your closet a stare.
Pull open the latch.
Now mix and match.

But match while dressing.
That needs no confessing.
Mix and match but match.
Can't have a different patch.

Oh, and don't have a crinkle.
Don't forget that wrinkle.
A wrinkle on a wrinkle.
That give you a twinkle?

So dress up and down.
Go out on the town.
Dress down and then up.
May be a rum filled cup.

Do you play dress chess? Always going on about how you or others dress? Like dressing up or down? Dress code at your town? Geez, threw another one in. Dress chess has a code to give a spin. Can't break the code. Your dressing is one complicated mode. No wonder nudists like being free. Hey, all's good as long as they stay out of the eye of me. I'll now go roll in the grass with my naked little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Yeah Right With A Fright!

The cat knows you humans exaggerate a bit. We've given that a hit. You know it too, no matter how much one tries to believe it isn't true. But the cat will prove it more with this one of lore.

No matter what.
Come meteors or King Tut.
Wait, that's not right.
Still no matter what at your site.

No matter the thing.
No matter fall or spring.
Still not right.
Could cause spite.

Oh, here we are.
Not meteor or car.
Nope, even more swell.
Come high water or hell.

Whoops, the reverse.
Betsy may curse.
But even invasion of the killer otter,
She'll stop come hell or high water.

Killer clowns on the lose.
Golden egg serial killer goose.
Plague to everyone, everywhere.
Every single person loses their hair.

No matter what comes due,
It we will get through.
Or I'll get there.
Or some other promise to spare.

Water that sucks up the earth.
Yeah, my words sure hold worth.
Hell comes and burns everything down.
But yep, I'll get to your town.

Riiiight says the cat.
And I'm a big rat.
Maybe I'm a dog too.
Shhh don't share at your zoo.

For if you do,
Come hell or high water I'll get you.
When really if either came,
I'd flat out forget that claim.

But shhhh don't tell.
That may offend hell.
May render the saying moot.
Can't have it go down the garbage chute.

Ever think about how dumb it really is with the hell or high water biz? I've used it a time or ten. Would it really apply at any den? Probably not, as either would leave you suffering from umm rot. That or hiding away until either got you at your bay. But hey, at least Killer Otters you can stop. Maybe come killer otter or clowns should be taught. At least then you'd stand a chance with such a pass. Anyway, come hell or high water, not really, I'll remain a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

This Is Your Life Free From Strife!

The cat is here to tell you all. What will I tell at my hall? I'll tell you the life of some. You will sure love such a chum. It is just the best. They beat all the rest.

Today's the day.
The day I play.
Come what may.
Retired at my bay.

Let's take a drive.
Worth a dive.
I'll survive.
Make it out alive.

Stop in the parking lot.
See what can be caught.
Sit in my car and pick snot.
That helps me breathe a lot.

I'll sneak what I'm not allowed.
My, look at that small crowd.
These chips sure are great.
The wife will never know what I ate.

Let's move up two spots.
Pick my nose lots.
I've got such a good view.
Time for nostril number two.

Let's go for a drive.
A drive I'll survive.
It is such a merry day.
I wonder what's going on this way.

I'll come in and sit.
I'll shoot the shit.
The same shit I shot the day before.
Such crap I'll tell some more.

Repeat my life story.
Tell it in all its glory.
For I am oh so great.
No one anywhere can relate.

I'm old and wise.
I get the prize.
Everything I say is truth.
Even if I got it at the tourist booth.

Time to go home and sleep.
Tomorrow out I'll creep.
I'll do this over again.
Such a life at my den.

Is that really retired? If so, I'll stay hired. Pfffffffft to such crap. To each their own across the map. But can you imagine going to the same place with the same people talking the same crap every SINGLE day? Put me down if that ever comes to be at our bay. Are you one that likes that? Repeat the same things to death where you are at? Glad I got a writing pass so that will never ever come due for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Up To One Or A Ton?

You see it here and there. At many a lair. The numbers game is had. Some love it at their pad. That we've done. But what about the one?

No Matrix remake.
Drown that in a lake.
Will probably be a 4.
But skip that tour.

Instead, look at me.
1000s come to be.
Flock to you like shit.
Making everything a hit.

Everything that's said.
Even if brain dead.
All latch onto every word.
Following like a herd.

That makes you grand.
Let's give you a hand.
A thousand hands or so.
Look at them grow.

None you know.
Can create a foe.
But still know none.
Let's give another 1000 a run.

Look at him.
He's so grim.
Only a little bit.
Can't have that shit.

All they know.
None eat crow.
Not creating a foe.
Not reaching a new low.

But look at me.
I'm higher than thee.
That makes me best.
Beats all the rest.

Oh, they have more.
Follow my encore.
Add me to the pile.
I'll love you all the while.

You have friends?
Know their trends?
What's important in that?
I have thousands following my scat.

What's more important to you? The numbers game coming due? Knowing many that you follow or staying all nice and hollow? Sometimes you need the numbers to get that ten second look. On it many could write a book. I'd rather have fun with those I know and then the numbers shall grow. I'll ignore the ones who shout I've got thousands in mass. Pffft as they try and puff themselves up to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 19, 2018

The Squawk Of The Talk!

Humans sure like to yap. Their lips surely flap. But that you know, as you are one at your show. Unless tabbies or other cats who come on by. Then you've seen their lips fly. But what's the point? Easy at our joint.

Get to the point.
A saying that is said.
One many rarely anoint.
Maybe that saying should drop dead.

For away you go.
A flap and yap.
The same kinda flow.
Both filling the gap.

You trust it as far as you can throw it?
Wow, look at you.
Wordy by more than a bit.
Only don't trust it needed to come due.

Happy as a pig in shit.
Do pigs really like that?
Wordy once again took a hit.
They're happy is all that needed to chew the fat.

Run like hell.
While not wordy.
Can hell run swell?
Just say "run" flip the rest the birdie.

If he had brains he'd be dangerous.
And what if you couldn't squawk?
Would you be strangerous?
He's dumb works as away you walk.

Couldn't find their way out of a paper bag?
Damn, that would sure suck.
Is saying they are dumb a drag?
Maybe it's a polite way to pass the buck?

The straw the break's the camel's back.
Do camel's carry straw by the sack?
Can one straw cause such an attack?
Does saying "that's it" simply lack?

I want to have a word with you.
Let's talk is so yesterday.
When need to be wordy too.
Especially when getting in our say.

I've ended up in worse places than this.
And I bet it was sooo bad.
It could be worse brings no bliss.
Start getting wordy a tad.

Ever notice that? Did you catch on to the cat? On and on you go when few words are needed at one's show. Does colorful make it better to hear? Fluckity fluck it in one's ear? Will that make them do more? Sure beats me at my shore. What? I've used them also in mass? Bah, it was just so you'd feel comfortable reading my long winded little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Post Is Done...What Fun?

This post is now done. I'll go for a run. Yep, done like dinner. Isn't that a winner? Unless dinner isn't done, but today we'll ignore that one. Did you comment yet? Need to be done before it is even set.

Done now.
Raise an eyebrow.
Why? I'm done.
Done with a run.

No run is shown.
Not on computer or phone.
But I'm suddenly done.
Not under the gun.

Under beats straight on.
Isn't that a con?
Beats going under the knife.
Better off staying under the wife.

Or husband too.
Equal opportunity at our zoo.
Did I use that right?
Bah, I was done before it took flight.

That's right all.
Done at my hall.
Done without a single word.
That isn't absurd.

I stopped before I started.
Oops, I farted.
I just had to share.
After all, I'm done at my lair.

I can't stop if I never start.
But I'll take it to heart.
For without a start I did stop.
Isn't that a brain flop?

Stop before I start.
Like clothes at Wal-Mart.
They stop and start away.
Butt cracks on display.

This post is done.
Time I run.
Time I ate.
A common trait.

Wow, I'm still going.
What's with this showing?
I stopped before I started.
Did that saying just get parted?

Did you stop before you read? Did I hurt your head? How can you stop if you never started? The idea was never fully carted. You never even began the task. Wow, you humans must have taken one too many hits from the flask. But this post is now done and whoops, I started to make it stop its run. The cat proved wrong yet another pass. It is so fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

An Off With No On Can Sure Dawn!

This post is so cool. So cool that you will drool. The drool may even freeze. May get stuck that way if you sneeze. Hold on, cool is hot? We are so cool then with our hot to trot.

A grand post.
Loved at each coast.
It let's me boast.
Humans I roast.

Not literally though.
That's a no no.
Cannibals aren't in right now.
Maybe next year they'll wow.

Back to great.
So great none can relate.
How do I know?
Because I'm not low.

Nope, I'm off the charts.
Me and my farts.
I'm off so swell.
Let's raise some Hell.

Really confused?
Now I'm amused.
I raised what you can't,
And went off something I was never on at my plant.

Even made me wordy.
Could flip me the birdie.
But that would be mean.
Not really, at my scene.

Because I'm off the charts.
In all your hearts.
Off what charts though?
Do charts even show?

Can I go off what's not there?
Does this mean I have a glitchy lair?
Does it go off your screen?
Bah, who cares, as off the charts is serene.

Even if I never got on.
Off sure did dawn.
Nope, not a con.
For I'm off with no on.

Are the charts small?
Damn it all.
Just go with it with me.
I'm off the charts at my sea.

Can you still see this post? Hmm guess I'm not off any charts at my coast. Maybe they let me back on for today. Are you off the charts at your bay? Which charts would they be? Are you as chart happy as me? At least they aren't pointy like being off the hook. That could stab you at your nook. Charts could give you a paper cut I suppose. Or the screen of death may strike a pose. Bah, enough with my question pass, for I'm an off the charts little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 16, 2018

A Never The Case To Embrace!

The cat has done this mile as such things add to the pile. But you never see the reverse. Doesn't that make you curse? They can bring death and disease, but they don't ever give you a lighter tease.

Side effects at play.
So many they say.
They run them down,
Leaving you with a frown.

No more of that.
Trust in the cat.
We've got the one for you.
Take it and you'll be brand new.

Trilopity is it's name.
Curing warts is its claim.
But it can do so much more.
It is the pill of lore.

It burns fat.
Just like that.
What that is,
Isn't our biz.

It renews eye sight.
You'll see in the night.
You'll be as bat eyed as a cat.
Add that to goodbye fat.

Then add on muscles.
Like that guy from Brussels.
Muscles will grow and grow.
You'll join any muscle bound show.

It will increase brain power.
So much Einstein would cower.
You'll cure everything.
Hope eternal shall spring.

It will make all love you.
You'll have a lovey dovey view.
All will bow at your feet.
Even do things that are umm sweet.

Your teeth will re-grow.
How? I don't know.
But grow they will.
Along with your umm thrill.

So grab some Trilopity today.
It is sure the way.
You cure warts and get all of that.
It's only $15,678.89 per pill where you're at.

Don't you want Trilopity now? It can really wow. And no bad side effects for you. Until the crazies all love you. Then you may get shot if you ignore their view. Hey, but they'll love you as they do it to you. Don't you wish such side effects were true? It only takes $15,678.89 to find out for each lad and lass. You can make the checks payable to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

About Time You Do At Your Zoo!

The cat has to roll his eyes once more as humans use this one at their shore. What they really mean is poor pitiful me. No one is paying attention and I'm getting no glee. But I suppose that is wordy, so they flip that the birdie.

I've come to see.
See little old thee.
How lucky are you?
I know it is true.

What was that?
You're talking to the cat?
I guess he needs attention.
Did you hear what I mention?

I had this and that.
Why still talking to the cat?
Did you hear what I said?
Are you going to bed?

I guess I'll leave.
What's on you're sleeve?
That is a lot of cat hair.
How do you stand it at your lair?

I couldn't do that.
Still talking to the cat?
I guess it's that time.
I'll repeat my leaving chime.

Look at this door.
It is something of lore.
It fits perfectly in.
That sure is a win.

Well I guess I'll go.
I'm leaving, you know.
I'm still standing here.
But I'm leaving, I fear.

Did you ever stand so long?
One's legs need to be strong.
Standing like this is rough.
You need to have the right stuff.

It's about time I head home.
I am done with my roam.
I'm leaving you here.
Wow, is that new gear?

That looks nice.
What was the price?
I'd like to hear it,
As I'm leaving in a bit.

Ever get one of those? They say they are leaving as they strike a pose? Just trying to get attention as they won't take the hint. You'd rather sit by yourself and pick off lint. But oh no, a leaving they will go. A leaving with no leaving coming due. And they say it 50 times over too. They must have breathed in some more funky gas than what comes from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

A Flip Flop Hate Drop!

Today is the lovey dovey day. So the Hallmark cards and idiots upon high make you believe at your bay. And like sheep many go to it. So let's pretend it is really a hit. Except let's reverse and make all curse.

It's Valentine Day.
An ass hanging on display.
One with a diaper full of shit.
My, that is lovey dovey by a bit.

Actually more creepy.
But don't get weepy.
At least not yet.
Wait for Reverse Valentines Day from this pet.

Your eyes are beady.
You are rather seedy.
Your breath really smells.
I hate how you ring those bells.

You never pick stuff up.
You shed more than a pup.
You always clog the drain.
You are so pimpsy with rain.

You have too many shoes.
I hate your boos and your hoos.
Yes, those pants make your ass look big.
When you laugh you snort like a pig.

You laugh at stupid crap.
You'd get lost even with a map.
You drive like a two year old.
You stick to me worse than mold.

Your friends just annoy.
You act like a little boy.
You care more about your crap.
I hate how your lips always flap.

You say the stupidest things.
Your mind must be lost in the wings.
You repeat things 50 times over.
Did I mention you shed worse than rover?

Look, you've rubbed off on me.
I'm repeating myself like thee.
You are simply the worst thing ever.
Nothing about you is clever.

But don't despair.
Even with your ugly looking hair.
For there is no reason for dismay.
It's just happy Reverse Valentine's day.

Aren't you going to celebrate with the cat? Hmm you may get turned to scat. You will have to scatter like me too. That is if you want to live the day through. Might get a divorce as well. Reverse Valentine's Day will sure raise hell. Might need to think up a less wordy name. But then anything Valentine's is rather lame. So enjoy reversing it on lad or lass. Just don't come whining to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

You'll Just Know And Won't Eat Crow!

I will tell you a lot today. So much you may not know what to say. But aren't you supposed to? You humans are nuts at your zoo. Not in a good way. That I just had to say.

Pass it along.
Can't do no wrong.
Say what I said.
No punch to the head.

Grass Gringle.
Forts Mingle.
Tops Flutter.
Midgets Stutter.

Repeat those words.
Repeat to nerds.
They'll know what you mean.
Trust me, it's clean.

For Home.
Gnarly Gnome.
Frigid Hoops.
Grunk Loops.

Tell it to teachers.
Shout from the bleachers.
They'll know what you mean.
Say it like a teen.

Work Love.
Grove Shove.
Pimple Tours.
Tables Fours.

Repeat to a builder guy.
Away they will fly.
They'll know what you mean.
There will be no punch to the spleen.

Wiggle Terms.
Vile Worms.
Groggy Pests.
Purity Crests.

Roar Times.
Frosty Mimes.
Poor Grass.
Rhyming Ass.

Tell them to a stranger.
There will be no danger.
Not even a wtf look.
They'll know what you mean at your nook.

Ever get told something dumb to tell another? Did you think, oh brother? You have no idea what it means and yet they do on their screens. You could be passing super secret stuff. Or maybe it is all fluff. Or something that can make you end up in jail. Sorry, we have no money for bail. But if you want to say rhyming ass to the singing bass, he'll know what you mean with such a pass. You can trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 12, 2018

With This Report We Go Long And Short!

We have a story for you today. It will be short so you can be on your way. Yeah, it really won't take very long. This post can do no wrong. You will be ready to go soon. You can trust, not really, this rhyming loon.

There was a guy,
That couldn't fly.
But he had such pride,
That he jumped from a plane ride.

The plane was big.
The pilot danced a jig.
There was a pig.
Some woman even had a wig.

The wig was blonde.
Hard to see beyond.
I think it was cat hair.
Not sure at my lair.

My lair is great.
I'm sure you can relate.
I can't get enough.
It has all my stuff.

My stuff is fine.
Loved by the feline.
Towers and furry balls.
Chase those down the halls.

The halls are narrow.
Oh look, a sparrow.
Not the Captain Jack one.
How many of those have been done?

Do they need any more?
They are such a bore.
One and done would have been nice.
But can't roll those dice.

Have you ever rolled dice?
They can come at a price.
They can take all your money.
That sure isn't funny.

Don't you think it funny?
Funny in a rainy day not sunny.
The sun is shining too.
Or maybe that was yesterday's view.

Oh right, the report.
Well to make a long story short.
He jumped from the plane ride,
And then he went kersplat and died.

Didn't you love my short story? The end wasn't too gory. Hey, I made the long story short. What? I never had other things to report. I never jabbered on about this and that. Hmm long story short kinda fell flat? Shouldn't it be long story shorter? Leave out things like every news reporter. Some humans are sure blabbermouths in mass. Glad I'm not a long-winded little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Screw You...We Mean All New!

Today we are going to give you an all new rhyme. It will even impress a scary mime. It will be so all new. It may even blind your view. I warned you too. So you can't sue. Or you can try. But can't get anything from a cat or broke guy. Unless you want litter. Okay, let's go before you get bitter.

This is all new.
It is all true.
It is our best yet.
Nothing but net.

All new prize.
We tell no lies.
All new it is.
Love the all new biz.

All new this.
It's all new, Miss.
All new that.
Nothing like that old scat.

Looks the same?
Bah, old was lame.
This is all new.
Believe it to be true.

We didn't adjust.
In us you can trust.
We didn't cut back.
Don't believe such flack.

This is all new.
Believe it to be true.
Believe and it will be.
It's all new, you see?

I protest too much?
Bah, don't think and such.
Just let it sink in.
Then it is a win.

For it is all new.
Not brand for you.
But all new.
Brand hasn't a clue.

False it is not.
Believe in our plot.
We cut out this and that,
But we keep that under our hat.

Just focus on all new.
That is where you see what's true.
Focus and you will believe it.
Even if we are full of shit.

Don't you love the all new? Especially when it is not true. That you could try and sue. May shut the idiots up with the all new. I saw it on one of those charity prize draw things the other day. They took three of the big prizes, restructured to make it "all new" and then took one away. So you pay the same price for a ticket and lose one more chance at a prize. But nope, they weren't telling lies. Suffice to say I screwed with them a bit and the more they spoke, the more you knew they were full of shit. Oh yeah, this rhyme was an "All New" pass. I keep it all new with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Saturday, February 10, 2018

A Challenge Test To Beat The Rest!

Challenges are in tow today. Nah, not like before at my bay. I won't make you do easy math. Add 1 plus 1 or suffer wrath. Kidding at my sea. Instead we'll just go on a spree.

Whether it is this.
Whether it is that.
Whether it causes bliss.
Whether it falls flat.

What do you do?
What do you say?
How do you view?
How do you play?

Do you rise up?
Do you fall down?
Do you blame the pup?
Do you blame a clown?

Maybe head on?
Maybe head off?
A power switch can dawn?
Stop drinking from the horse trough.

Is it accepted?
Is it denied?
Has your thoughts been intercepted?
Have you already replied?

Challenged and stuck.
Challenged and passed the buck.
Challenged with a fluck.
Challenged but jumped in your truck.

A challenging post.
A challenging find.
For there at your coast,
You must rack your mind.

Mind what you do.
Know where you'll go.
You know what is true.
Do you run to or fro?

Can fall and rise.
Can rise and fall.
But a word to the wise,
Life sure won't stall.

Challenging thoughts.
Challenging binds.
Break through their plots.
Good for challenging minds.

Do you feel challenged today? Still stuck on 1 plus 1 at my bay? Are you a run away person at your sea? Or are you far too stubborn like me? I could say determined I suppose. But stubborn still glows. Something can't be done they say, pffft the cat shall find a way. Now I'm done with my not so challenging pass. If you can't add 1 plus 1 don't tell my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Take Note With What I Wrote!

Would that be written? Grammar Nazi's may not be smitten. Of that you can take note. Does that get your vote? If you voted I guess that will be noted. Notice yet? You will, I bet.

Take a note.
Like a goat.
A goat on a boat.
That I wrote.

Take a mental note.
Self-promotion of a goat.
A goat in a boat.
A double take note.

But your note was taken.
Hmm, am I mistaken?
You lost nothing at all.
So wasn't taken at your hall.

Taken with no taking.
That gets some head shaking.
Or maybe took and shook.
Hit the right note or get the hook.

More of a cane.
A hook would bring pain.
Although put ears at rest.
Maybe a hook is best.

That was a side note.
Does the middle get no vote?
A note on the side?
Do sides take more pride?

I'll leave from upon high.
The notes won't fly.
Or maybe they flew.
Out on a high note from you.

Or maybe not.
Note has a plot.
Can finish or end.
Notes can amend.

In pencil not pen.
No backspace at ones den.
Leave fits too.
What is a note to do?

Maybe leave, finish and end.
The order may be around the bend.
But I'll still do one of the three.
Hopefully that is noted by thee.

Did you take note? Find any goats on your boat? Can you carry a note in a bucket? Or do you just say fluck it? Can a note be on a side? Notes sure come and go with the tide. This was just something that I noted. So the post today was floated. It floated out like my gas. I thought I'd note that from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Dead Or Alive Takes The Dive!

Not many seem to be wanted in such a way anymore. Maybe that was a thing of lore. Are any even wanted like that? The PC nuts wouldn't allow where they are at. But it is still being done. In a much more life saving way, sorta, it is spun.

Dead or alive.
Time to survive.
Survival is key.
For you and me.

But it's dead.
Dead in bed.
Dead and ready.
Hmm that is steady.

The lines you string.
String or something.
Something for you.
Yep, it's true.

Deadline is here.
Send it near.
Don't miss the deadline.
Things must align.

But it got moved.
Moved and grooved.
Now you're not dead.
Get out of bed.

The line needs fixing.
Deadline you're nixing.
A new deadline comes due.
So lines can die times two?

Moved once more.
A death of lore.
Lines died times three.
That gets a woweee.

So death not dead.
Something new is said.
Those lines aren't dying.
New work you are spying.

Alive they are.
Like gas in a car.
They keep on a going.
An Energizer showing.

So deadlines aren't dead.
Does that hurt your head?
They wish to survive.
Alivelines are alive.

Ever get deadlines that keep moving on? Doesn't that prove the dead part is a con? Don't you love deadlines at your sea? Especially when they become alivelines for thee? See now? Don't raise an eyebrow. Dead or alive is thriving today. At least with lines that come to play. Maybe snow would have a deadline forever come to pass? That would work for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

A Little Jaunt Through The Haunt!

 It was bad.
I'm so mad.
Mad at it.
I hiss and spit.

Spit and hiss.
Ain't that bliss?
Don't like ain't?
Come now, don't faint.

Could hit your head.
Could wind up dead.
Or dead in the head.
Always stuck in bed.

Hmm, might work.
Could be a perk.
Not the bed part.
More needed than to fart.

But the dead head.
That should be fed.
Save a spot.
Let everything there rot.

Thoughts that is.
Not flesh biz.
Or bone and such.
Anatomy is too much.

But there's the dead.
The dead of your head.
Let it suck all in.
At least all worthy of a spin.

There it will rot.
Not adding to any plot.
Poof! Gone forever.
The dead head endeavor.

It was so bad.
I'm oh so mad.
I hiss and spit.
What a load of shit.

What was I saying?
Bah, who needs replaying.
I went into the dead head space.
Now a smile I sure embrace.

See? Let insecurity rot and you will be far happier than you thought. Dwelling on it each and every day won't make it go away. So stay whelmed at your sea. Let it rot and be forgotten about by thee. Will do much more for you in the end. So go the dead head trend. There all insecurities can pass and you'll turn out as crazy as my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

A Quality Post From Your Host!

Your host would be me. I'm sure that never confused thee. But the cat figured he would say so. I want you to stay whelmed at my show. At least for now as this post may wow. It could become overwhelming for you. Believe it to be true.

A quality post,
Here at my coast.
Something of worth,
May take birth.

The easy way too.
No shoving for you.
Or for a few.
Or shoving at you.

Top quality there?
Bah, don't sit and stare.
It's only the second verse.
No need to curse.

But it wasn't on top?
No top of the crop.
That sure is a flop.
Second was its stop.

So can it still work?
Still a quality perk?
Hey, I'm asking you.
I need quality testers at my zoo.

Like top quality dog food.
No dogs gave it attitude?
Do humans test it?
What makes it a top quality hit?

Wait, it's on the bottom shelf.
Isn't that bottom quality itself?
It is on the bottom of the pile.
It has been there a while.

Second or bottom,
Or third like autumn,
Can it still be on top?
Damn, this is a flop.

Quality is confusing.
What if you are perusing?
It is the 100th product down,
But has the top quality crown.

Top of the pile.
Not turning that dial.
But quality is there?
Hmm of both maybe beware.

Ever think of that? Top quality yet at the bottom where it is at. Shouldn't top be on top? That is a big flop. Doesn't make you think top quality is there. Maybe just good quality by a hair. Or would that be hare? Quality is sure there to spare. Or sparingly there. Is your brain hurting yet at your lair? The cat likes to make that come to pass. A quality always coming from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, February 5, 2018

The Biased View That's So True!

Are you biased at your bay? I'm sure out will come a, no way! Many surely think that. But the cat will soon make that fall flat. You are as biased as can be. At least some days with what you see.

I'm not biased.
Nope, not one bit.
My integrity is the highest.
I don't do that shit.

I'm in a bank.
Here I stand.
Not biased walks the plank.
When one joins the band.

In walks a masked man.
You glare and get ready to run.
He just didn't want a tan.
Whoops, isn't biased fun?

I'm in a car.
Away I drive.
I'm going far.
I'll survive.

Look at that old fart.
Going ever so slow.
In an accident they'll take part.
Whoops, they have never had a single blow.

I have no credit.
But I have a great job.
You have seen and read it.
Don't be a snob.

They're too young.
They have no clue.
Young people have brains of dung.
Whoops, turns out they could have pain on cue.

Insurance for life.
That's what I want.
Have to keep safe the wife,
When it comes time to haunt.

You're 80 years old?
You must have something wrong.
Unless you have lots of gold,
We shall never play along.

Biased in ways.
Biased you are.
In life's maze,
Biased drives the car.

Did you know you were biased? I guess now you aren't the highest. A masked man in a bank is likely there to rob the place. But you are still biased with your embrace. For he may not be. Although biased this time may keep a bullet from entering thee. Biased seems to have its place in a certain class. But some just proves you are dumber than a singing bass. All perspective that comes to pass. Sorry, not really, that you got called biased from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Be A Chef For The Ref!

The cat rolls his eyes a lot. I'm sure you knew about such a plot. We heard one whining the other day. They sure liked to have their say. Of course whiners always do. That is why they are whiners through and through.

Here we go.
Time for the game.
They'll eat crow.
It won't be lame.

My team is best.
Even if not mine.
But we've done that test,
Just trust the feline.

And they're off.
Away they go.
Time to scoff.
They are our foe.

They are so bad.
Even with the same skill.
They make me mad,
Bury them in a landfill.

No different than our team,
Just colors of shirts.
But that's all a dream,
Cheering for them hurts.

But that all should know.
Each and every one.
One more is a foe,
For they screw up a ton.

Such a bad call.
Kill the ref.
He should work in the mall.
Get chopped up for a chef.

Are they blind?
Are they dumb?
He's lost his mind.
Fire that bum.

That was a great call.
That was the best.
The other team should fall.
After all, they are the guest.

Boooo! Such a bad call.
Are you that stupid?
Go be a Santa in the mall.
You aren't good enough to be Cupid.

Ever notice that? How only calls against "your" or "their" teams fall flat? If it is against the other guy than it is okay. Pffft humans are pathetic we say. The ref can't see it all and will make the final call. All the yelling crap hurts the cat's head. That is probably why we'd probably stay at home in bed. Let's yell at a guy doing his job and give him sass. Yeah, that is sooooo productive says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

A Vibration Game Not So Tame!

It's addiction day. Today you will be addicted to my bay. Actually that would be rather bad. We don't want hanger ons at our pad. So we'll leave you be and let your addiction consume thee.

Ding, ding, ding.
Could be a fling.
Nope, just the news.
Still have the blues.

Ding, ding, ding.
You are the king.
Nope, just an update.
Such a sad fate.

Ding, ding, ding.
That's a fancy ring.
Oh, just your mother.
Nope, not another.

Ding, ding, ding.
Could it be cha-ching?
Nope, not one bit.
With another bill I've been hit.

Ding, ding, ding.
I love my bling.
Oh, just more news.
I have to pay dues.

Ding, ding, ding.
I am sure going to cling.
I need to pay the bill.
Can't have it be nil.

Ding, ding, ding.
Oh, that was a ring.
Hello, how are you?
Telemarketers, boo hoo.

Ding, ding, ding.
What is with this thing?
I'm not getting called.
Was I black balled?

Ding, ding, ding.
Yippee, I sing.
I got a text from a stranger.
I am no longer sad and in danger.

Ding, ding, ding.
Wow, it's spring.
Where did winter go?
My neck hurts so.

Are you a phone addict? Does being away from it cause you conflict? The cat really feels bad for you if so. Hmmm, believe me at your show? You probably shouldn't as I wouldn't. If you step out into the street after the ding, ding, ding beat and get hit by a car, no sympathy from my sand bar. Are you on your phone reading my sass? Point proven by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, February 2, 2018

To The Letter All Are Better!

The cat is better than you. I'm sure that you knew. The cat has an ego after all. But cats do rule at every hall. I mean you scoop our shit. That is ego inducing, every bit.

Better than you.
Better comes due.
Better than me.
Better flies free.

Equal pfffts away.
Equality, you say?
Yeah, one for all.
But better won't stall.

Better's still there.
Better beware.
Or better not.
Better has a plot.

Billions of better.
Be one long ass letter.
Or one long ass rhyme.
Tell it to a mime.

Better that you.
Sit and stew.
Better than me.
The way it must be.

I'm better at that.
Whether human or cat.
You're better at this.
I easily miss.

Better than me.
Like going up a tree.
Better than you.
Standing in view.

All have a skill.
All can't fit the bill.
Some just can't.
Whether human or ant.

Some have same skills.
Some go for thrills.
Some prove better off.
Some sure do scoff.

But better still wins.
Better still takes spins.
Better will always prevail.
Better comes without fail.

Did you know I was better than you? Did you know you were better than me at your zoo? Always something someone is better at than another. Whether a far away stranger or brother. Pretending all are equal, as far as skills go, is dumb. All have skills that make others ho and hum. So be better and let others be better too. A better everywhere easily comes due. Now I shall stop my better pass and better get going with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

A System Full Even Of Bull!

Today we will add. We will add to our pad. That much you know. But we are also adding to the grand show. What show is that? One where we are all a stat. The stat of you and me and all that comes to be.

A system in place,
Captures your face.
Many times a day,
Can sure hit replay.

Data from this.
Is such bliss.
Data from that.
Even a rhyming cat.

All plug and play.
Everything on display.
Knowledge of all,
Can be given a call.

You did this today.
You went this way.
The system knows.
For somewhere it shows.

You think this.
Not even a miss.
For your searching shows it.
The system captures every bit.

Can tell where you're from.
The size of your bum.
Who came before you.
Whether or not you give a clue.

The tax man is there.
No need to beware.
They'll get you in the end.
The system will not amend.

The system records it.
Out your records it will spit.
Your highlight reel of sorts.
Even one without an interest in sports.

Your every move captured.
Until the Earth is raptured.
Then Dark Ages may apply.
The system still may not die. 

The system knows.
The wind still blows.
The system still records.
All data in hoards.

Aren't you glad for the system? Can take facts no matter how you twist em. Can stick it in and spit them out. Whether true or not. We just added to the system's plot. Are you ready to add too? Easy, just leave a comment at my zoo. The system captures it all. The system shall never stall. Do you enjoy being captured every which way? Maybe you won't if in the woods you spend the day. The system can enjoy the gas that comes out of my system adding little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.