Monday, February 12, 2018

With This Report We Go Long And Short!

We have a story for you today. It will be short so you can be on your way. Yeah, it really won't take very long. This post can do no wrong. You will be ready to go soon. You can trust, not really, this rhyming loon.

There was a guy,
That couldn't fly.
But he had such pride,
That he jumped from a plane ride.

The plane was big.
The pilot danced a jig.
There was a pig.
Some woman even had a wig.

The wig was blonde.
Hard to see beyond.
I think it was cat hair.
Not sure at my lair.

My lair is great.
I'm sure you can relate.
I can't get enough.
It has all my stuff.

My stuff is fine.
Loved by the feline.
Towers and furry balls.
Chase those down the halls.

The halls are narrow.
Oh look, a sparrow.
Not the Captain Jack one.
How many of those have been done?

Do they need any more?
They are such a bore.
One and done would have been nice.
But can't roll those dice.

Have you ever rolled dice?
They can come at a price.
They can take all your money.
That sure isn't funny.

Don't you think it funny?
Funny in a rainy day not sunny.
The sun is shining too.
Or maybe that was yesterday's view.

Oh right, the report.
Well to make a long story short.
He jumped from the plane ride,
And then he went kersplat and died.

Didn't you love my short story? The end wasn't too gory. Hey, I made the long story short. What? I never had other things to report. I never jabbered on about this and that. Hmm long story short kinda fell flat? Shouldn't it be long story shorter? Leave out things like every news reporter. Some humans are sure blabbermouths in mass. Glad I'm not a long-winded little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

54 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. That's 5 in a row
      Blow for blow!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Where is the blue guy and the ninja?

      Delete
    3. The Blue Guy was asleep
      Ignoring his phone's bleeping bleep and beeping beep.

      Delete
    4. Just shut it off
      Can ignore and no scoff

      Delete
  2. I used to be scared to fly,
    But no way would I jump from a plane.
    To cut a long story short.
    I now love flying....my claim to fame.

    Love your post Pat as always.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fly to the moon
      Can sing a merry tune

      Delete
  3. With This Report We Go Long And Short!
    To see a long story that can be bought
    It is not easy
    To spin a story
    Still a long story has to finish on the dot

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you're polite, it's even worse because you have to suffer longer before you excuse yourself to leave!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep, if you try to be nice
      You pay even more of a price

      Delete
  5. Flying blonds must have more fun!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know people who wander even further with their tales.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Down and down and down they go
      A headache may be in tow

      Delete
  7. At first I thought you were talking about that man, who stole money and the. Jumped from a plane and never heard from again...D.B. Cooper. I met someone who ump from a plane..his parachute didn’t open but he survived! He came in at an angle and had to be dug out his his legs went into the earth. He walked but not much else...too broken up literally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, DB Cooper is still out there
      Damn, that would suck at any lair

      Delete
  8. you could probably tighten up that rhyme a bit
    forgo a stanza or two
    but you filled the space and had your say
    nothing you need to rue

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well that was quite the story
    It was a little off track (haha)
    If I roll the dice and lose
    Can I get my money back
    Jumping from a plane
    Might not bring me glory

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Won't get back your dough
      No returns at any show
      You might go splat
      Any glory in that?

      Delete
  10. Tell a story, make it long
    Maybe even add a song
    Make em listen or go to sleep
    Wish that they were in the deep

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they'll never come back?
      Could be a win at one's shack

      Delete
  11. There are several enviable moments here, among them the ladies cat hair wig (that's a keeper) and the kersplat, The End.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some just got in
      Had to give a one off spin

      Delete
  12. He should've landed on one of those furry cat balls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plushy they may be
      And saved him from a smudge to see

      Delete
  13. What a fun post! My cat wants me to add you need more mentions of cats and balls to chase.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could stretch it longer
      Would that be umm wronger?

      Delete
  14. Cat hair wig....now I know what to do with all the fur that flies around here;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A business idea for you
      Could make dough two by two

      Delete
  15. I'm a short story teller myself
    Not because I tell short stories,
    because I've been asked "Are you an elf?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you come up short
      With every daily report?

      Delete
  16. orlin N cassie....we tried rollin dice....did oh kay shootin em kleer cross de floor...trubull iz we never
    new if we had ...7....

    ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't get a good look
      FSG needs to help at your nook

      Delete
  17. I'm definitely not the suicidal type, but if I were, I would take sky-diving lessons, and then invite everyone I knew to watch my first jump. Then I just wouldn't pull the ripcord. Pretty sadistic, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sadistic but fun
      You'd be remembered by everyone

      Delete
  18. I, too, thought DB Cooper made a stop
    While the Cat was at the airline shop
    No fun without a money drop
    Best not to attract a cop...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to watch the coppers
      Can sure be floppers

      Delete
  19. Kersplat is a little bit gory. And reporters do tell some long stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      Gory, but there is no view

      Delete
  20. LOL, sad ending? - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Kersplat sounds pretty gory to me.
    It's not something I want to see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would not be a fun sight
      In the day or night

      Delete
  22. Well, that was quite the ending. Short, but not sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Haha ~ I think you made the short story long!
    I could snip snip it down to five lines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha snip snip like that
      You scared the cat

      Delete