Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Doesn't Hurt So Flirt!

The cat will ask a lot today. Is that any different that any other day at my bay? Asking questions already. They may sure come steady. Some may even run. I could really tick off a nun. But it doesn't hurt. So let's flirt.

No need for a mask.
Just go to the task.
Put away the flask,
For it doesn't hurt to ask.

Walk up on the street.
Talking is ever so neat.
All will find you sweet.
You won't be left in defeat.

Give your skill a flex.
Wanna have sex?
When's the last time you did?
Do you both want to bid?

Care to ride my bike?
Do you want to take a hike?
Wow, how'd you get so fat?
Why do you smell like scat?

What died in your hair?
Do you care if I stare?
How'd you get such big feet?
Do you think small things are neat?

Do you always sweat so much?
Can I reach out and touch?
Your kid is ugly, right?
Do you take it out in the daylight?

Is it okay if I hump your leg?
Want to get stuffed in my keg?
Can my dog hump your leg?
Do you enjoy how I beg?

Can I eat your nose?
Did I sink to new lows?
Is going low fun?
Why aren't you a nun?

What is that for?
Why can't I have an encore?
I want to ask more.
Don't slam the door.

It was just a task.
Don't throw your flask.
I may now need a mask.
I guess it hurts to ask.

Still think it doesn't hurt to ask? In the sun you won't bask. Unless your dead body lies in a field or you have a mighty sturdy shield. The cat just proved another saying wrong. Want to play along? Go out and try. You may only get a black eye. Or you may lose one or two. Blind would suck at your zoo. So don't go asking anything in mass as it may hurt you more than my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

51 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. A Tuesday win
      Giving work a late spin?

      Delete
    2. Ninja attack
      At the cats shack

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    3. I'm guessing it will be either Blue or Truedessa tomorrow, everyone gets a turn

      Delete
    4. Everyone is sure taking turns indeed
      Ninja Wannabe must have work all caught up at his feed

      Delete
  2. I have many answers
    I could send a list
    But I'd rather flirt
    And enjoy being kissed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A much better way
      Depending on who's kissing you at your bay

      Delete
  3. Might not hurt to ask but you'll get some weird looks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HA! That sweet talking would sure be a hit...up the side of the head!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get ready to block
      Or stand in shock

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  5. may be best to bite your tongue and keep on walking

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your sweet talk is so charming
    But the words seem quite alarming
    Who knows what desperation lurks
    You'll meet the ones with mighty quirks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you will
      And they may be ill
      In need of a happy pill
      Or to fall down a hill

      Delete
  7. It's best to be careful what you say.
    If you want to live to see a new day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you must
      In words you can rust

      Delete
  8. Flirting
    Could be a prelude
    to a romantic interlude
    Or could cause an attitude
    watch out for bad moods
    may not be a hit, if rude
    causing some disquietude
    You’ll find yourself in solitude
    when one is acting crude
    there will be no gratitude
    that is what I conclude...
    Now, my mind needs quietude

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha quietude at your sea
      Hope it came to be
      Silence is good though
      Beats a foe
      Or could be out and about
      Listening to two humpers err umm shout

      Delete
  9. "Do you want to have sex? When is the last time you did?" Gosh, Pat getting real up close and personal this time around....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha had to go to it
      To prove this rhyming bit

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  10. Well I won't be doing any of those things or answering that question. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol probably best
      Keep it in the nest

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  11. Ah, you won't know the answer unless you ask!
    I believe in asking what you want to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even if really really bad?
      Some may get rather mad

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  12. I tend to wish they didn't ask.
    In their egos, dudes do bask.
    But asking is way worse than fine
    It's an irksome waste of time.
    All they want to do is f*k.
    Go f*k yourselves dude, and good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could be tricky
      And rather sticky
      But I bet a few try
      Oh my, oh my

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  13. Ha. You just proved that saying wrong;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat can prove with ease
      It is a breeze

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  14. orlin N cassie.....we ask a lot and say a lot two de food servizz gurl...all de time....frank lee tho bee tween uz cats we never getz answered......talk bout ROOD huh !! ☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez, have to stick your paw in her mouth
      Then maybe the words will head south

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  15. Are there still no dumb questions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, that went far far away
      As the dumb ask them everyday

      Delete
  16. Is flirting even allowed any more in this PC era of treating every overture as an offensive attack?

    For some reason, this post reminds me of an old joke by Flip Wilson (1933-1998): Lots of crazy things happen in traveling. Just last week I was on a train. There was a woman traveling with a baby. UGLY baby! I mean, I'm not one to make comments about anyone's kid--but this was an UGLY baby. A guy walks down the train--he's half smashed--and he stops. And he stares. And the lady says, "What are you looking at?" The guy says "I'm looking at that ugly baby." A scene ensues, whereupon the conductor arrives. He says, "What's going on here?" The woman says, "This man just insulted me!" The conductor says, "Now calm down Madam, calm down. We here at the railroad want to make sure that there are no altercations between our passengers and that everyone's trip is as relaxing as possible. Accordingly, if you allow us, please step into the dining car and the railroad will buy you a free meal. And maybe we can find a banana for your monkey."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this one from Johnny Carson

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    2. True, it would probably get you sued or thrown in jail
      So maybe flirting has set sail

      haha that was a good one indeed
      In looks, some babies sure are in need

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    3. As Flip Wilson’s Geraldine persona would say “the devil made me do it’

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  17. If babies look ugly, better just say "That's a baby!" and move on and never ask a fat woman when she is due...that is very bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both will get you smacked
      Or far worse attacked

      Delete
  18. There are some questions it's best not to ask (like when are you due- unless you are absolutely sure a woman is pregnant).
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep, that could get one in trouble
      Better move away on the double

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  19. Just ask away but don't expect answers! Keep warm Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Expect to get neglect
      We shall with more snow we detect

      Delete
  20. I don't think those questions would go over too well with many. But then again, there are all kinds of craziest out there, so ask away. The worst that could happen is probably just a couple of broken knee caps.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that would hurt
      Blood would spurt
      So we were right
      At our site

      Delete
  21. A wise person once mused
    A question should not be used
    If the answer isn’t going to keep you amused

    ReplyDelete