Thursday, May 31, 2018

Interlopers Galore At Our Shore!

The cat has shown you some of the interloper crew. They are sure intruders through and through. But what I saw recently made me do this. It was followed by a hiss.

WTF Pat!
How can you cheat on the cat?
Bringing home such weird smells.
I'll jingle more than your bells.

I can swat these.
I hiss at them when I please.
They stay clear.
Score one for my rhyming rear.

These things I bite.
That gives them a fright.
Soon off they go.
But this we all know.

Now you channel old one eye?
That is just worse than looking at her one eye with a sty.
You even made the cat get wordy.
We flip the giant litterbox the birdie.

What is this thing?
A rope to swing?
Nope, further back a bit.
That is a dog or some strange shit.

The tabbies will run.
They don't find burds fun.
It's some kind of pheasant. 
How is seeing this pleasant?

More of these dog things.
Like a dog ate a bird and didn't get wings.
Instead it got tall.
Not sure where that came from at all.

Are these big eared cats?
Maybe overgrown rats?
Do they feel lucky?
This sure isn't ducky.

Bah! Another herd.
This is getting absurd.
Pat is feeding strays in a whole other municipality.
That makes me want to give him a fatality.

Now Cassie is giving me lip.
She is telling me to get a grip.
She's been seduced by the smells.
That weird dog creature must cast spells.

Have any unidentified interlopers at your sea? Is your human(s) cheating on you like Pat does to me? How dare he feed a herd of cats and hang out with overgrown rats. Suddenly the mutt seems swell. I just had to tell. Don't you feel for me and want to give Pat sass? I could be a bit of an over exaggerating little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

A Critical Production With Little Suction!

Don't you hate those low suction things? We run away like we have wings. But low suction makes it take forever. Nah, we won't be tackling the vacuum with today's endeavor. Although they do have as much hot air and they sure can blare.

Ode to the critic.
Hands so arthritic.
Life so dull.
That they produce null.

That would be nil.
Their cup they can't fill.
Half empty or full,
Has absolutely no pull.

Professional is their name.
Critiquing is their game.
They sit and watch,
Searching for every botch.

Then away they go.
They yap or type a flow.
Professional that is.
For they are a whiz.

Ode to the critic,
Who are kinda parasitic.
Without those to create,
They'd have an empty plate.

Like a worm to a dog?
Maybe to a hog?
That is quite the image.
They may need worm pills after scrimmage.

Scrimmage to and fro.
Off a watching they go.
It is the professional way.
Pick apart others on display.

Create nothing at all.
Just follow the bouncing ball.
Those who can't do,
Critic the day through?

Or would that be night?
Maybe watch on a flight.
Could now give spite.
But that's all right.

Ode to the critic.
Sure not analytic.
A professional parasitic.
Was this to psychoanalytic?

Have you ever noticed that? It was just thought of by the cat. Critics mostly only critic away. They produce nothing else at their bay. Yet they are professional at it? Umm how did they get that bit? Give two thumbs up and suddenly you're good to go? Damned if I know. I think I'd rather create and give sass. It is much more fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

A Helping Hand Across The Land?

A little help is grand. It can be a foot or a hand. Don't rule out the feet. They can leave one in defeat. Or they can leaving one winning. Maybe just leave your head spinning. It is something I often do. But you are used to it at our zoo.

You pace the floor.
You stare at the door.
You wait and wait,
For date or mate.

Does it help?
Do you yelp?
Do things change?
Maybe like Lego they rearrange?

You spit and sputter.
You may even mutter.
Could also shutter.
Damn, out of butter.

Does it help?
Do you yelp?
Do things differ?
Your back become stiffer?

You leave it go.
You stub your toe.
You swear and swear.
Maybe pull out your hair.

Does it help?
Do you yelp?
Do things grow?
Would that be a no?

You ignore.
Forget a chore.
Sit and teeth grind.
It's on your mind.

Does it help?
Do you yelp?
Do things get done?
Go ask a nun?

You think about doing.
From writing to canoeing.
Whatever is your thing.
You think about next spring.

Does it help?
Do you yelp?
Do you ever finish?
Does it start or diminish?

Do you do things that don't really help out? Like tensing up when one is out and about? Do you put yourself through things that don't need to be? Does it really help thee? When you look at it that would be no. You just become your own worst foe. Unless pacing the floor helps you lose weight and you want that to come up to the plate. Then hey, it helps in a way. I'll now go help myself to some food of Cass and continue to be an ever so helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 28, 2018

A Popular Thought Used By A Lot!

The cat can roll his eyes a lot. That is a popular thought. Or just a thought as I seem to say it a lot. I bet you can guess where we are going now? If not, I'm sure you will by the end somehow.

Popular is great.
Got me a mate.
A mate I hate.
But it is great.

It's the best,.
Passes any test.
The test of who?
Beats me and you.

For this is tops.
Fed like crops.
As in the masses.
All enjoy its gases.

All use it.
All think it a hit.
All have done it.
Popular by every bit.

So it's the best.
Beats the rest.
The rest of what?
Go ask a mutt.

What? There's that?
Makes this scat?
But I love it.
That isn't a hit.

This is better?
I'll write a letter.
It just can't be.
This is the best, you see?

Popularity says so.
It is had by even my foe.
It just has to be.
Can't you see?

Join the masses.
We sit on our asses.
It is just the best.
Popularity passes any test.

Useless Celebrity G says so.
They are truly in the know.
This is just the best ever.
Popularity makes it so clever.

Do you agree that popular is best? Pffft and I will let dogs be a house guest. But oh, everyone else has it and so should you. Be a sheep through and through. It is just the best. Even sported by some celebrity pest. Oh wait, a million dollar check? Damn, okay it is the best on deck. I can be bought like them too. For a million bucks I'll even clean your loo. What? No takers? Damn, can't find the right movers and shakers. Sometimes popular stuff is more useless than grass. I guess I'm just a non-popular little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Sunday, May 27, 2018

An Easy Chat With The Cat!

The cat is going to talk today. As if you didn't know that at your bay. I guess maybe you didn't know because it is more of a type than chat at our show. I just chatted err umm typed. Both will work for today's purpose as this isn't being Skyped.

Time for a chat.
Here we come.
Forget all of that.
How do you like my bum?

It's big and round.
The cheeks sure pucker.
Is loved by a hound,
And maybe a trucker.

How about that weather?
Can you see the sun?
Even if we are standing together,
That question had to be spun.

Do you think it will rain?
Look at those clouds.
Isn't rain a pain?
What is it with crowds?

Can you believe the prices?
They are sky high.
Even on fuzzy dices.
Bad grammar can fly.

Look at that dust.
It is so dusty.
Dust one day we must.
Maybe before things get rusty.

Do you like my shirt?
It is brand spankin' new.
I may use it to flirt.
That's between me and you.

What's for dinner?
Bet it will taste good.
It must be a winner.
That is just understood.

I have a hangnail.
I really hate those.
Rather eat a snail.
Don't you love such woes?

Well that was fun.
I'd love to chat tomorrow.
So much we got done.
Time like that you can't borrow.

You humans sure make small talk really, really small. Seems like it is done by all. Do you even know how to talk about something substantial these days? Has OMG and TFB got you lost in a maze? Are my questions too hard for you? Is the easy chat just easy to do? How about that nice green grass? No need to answer the last one to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Saturday, May 26, 2018

On This Date We Put On Some Weight!

Yeah. We took a weight and put it on the floor. See? We didn't lie to you at our shore. You are the ones that lie all the time. Even Pat has committed this crime. The cat can't believe it. Some even say it while they sit.

Time for fun.
Fun with a ton.
Tons of fun.
Time to be done.

No Tons of Buns.
We did those runs.
Of course you can go buy.
Added that on the fly.

For that thought is heavy.
Great Scot, get me a levy.
Hey, I'm fine with charging tax.
Having dough can make me relax.

Oh right, of course.
I suffer no remorse.
But oh some do.
It is sure heavy too.

Not just heavy though.
Oh friggin no.
It is more than that.
Makes you into a gnat.

For it weighs a ton.
A ton has just been spun.
50 pounds of kitty litter.
Come now, don't be bitter.

Oh look, a car tire.
You are about to expire.
It weighs a ton.
Whoops, a lie was spun.

Books by the stack.
Oh, you put out your back.
Why? Because they weighed a ton.
Damn, you're stronger than everyone.

Picked the spouse up.
Hmm results in a hiccup.
But we'll say it anyway.
You weigh a ton today.

Dropped to the floor.
Kicked out the door.
Never will get said again.
Especially if said by men.

Do you use it at your sea? Hint: If you can lift it no ton weighing comes to be. Unless you are Superman and the sun gives you more than a tan. Or maybe that big green guy. Then you can let tons fly. Does your spouse weigh a ton? Wouldn't try to use that to poke fun. You may get poked in the eye and given sass. That can hurt a ton unlike the posts from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Friday, May 25, 2018

A Searching We Go High Or Just Low!

The cat doesn't need to do this as I just give a hiss. That usually seems to work. It can so be a perk. The life of a cat. Who's to blame for that?

That wasn't me.
It costs a fee?
It really wasn't me.
Go bug that tree.

It was that squirrel.
See how he did a whirl?
The squirrel in the tree.
I swear that it wasn't me.

It was that bird.
He didn't say a word.
He flew from the squirrel.
See how those wings curl?

It was not me.
I'm truly telling thee.
It was that dog.
The one that ate the bird's brown log.

No! Look at that.
The dog chased the cat.
It was that cat.
He chewed no fat.

See? He's up on a ledge.
He's as whelmed as that hedge.
His human just took him in.
It was her that committed this sin.

Don't look at me.
It was not me, can't you see?
It was her child.
She let him run wild.

Wait. It was his friend.
Now no need to amend.
For his friend is the Girl Scout Leader's daughter.
Oh look, she's likes Harry Potter.

It was the author of that.
She caused this scat.
It was all her doing.
I think they call it kangarooing.

I swear that's the truth.
I'm the greatest sleuth.
It was never that tree.
Just like it wasn't me.

Do you like to shift blame? Do you get that lame? Like nonsense land type blame? Blaming someone who doesn't even know your name? The cat would roll his eyes if so. We'll stick to avoiding the blame game at our show. But if you want blame to come to pass then you can blame today's post on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Thursday, May 24, 2018

The Race Is On For The Con!

The cat is ready to run. I am ready for fun. Or maybe to poke fun. Either way a post will be spun. A racing post from your host. No way I'll coast, but I might boast. That or meow. Okay, the race is on now.

My idea is grand.
I'm spreading it across the land.
I must get it just right.
Will help all in sight.

A tweak here and there.
A few things to spare.
Spare we won't.
Can't and don't.

Here it is.
Take this quiz.
Then you'll know.
Friend not foe.

Only a few sales.
So so many wails.
I think I need a tweak.
People just freak.

Take this away.
Make an easy display.
Take that off.
Now they won't scoff.

Sold some more.
But can't get it in a store.
I need to tweak a bit.
People can't understand this shit.

I'll pull this.
I'll give them bliss.
I'll yank that.
They'll chew no fat.

It's getting better.
I got a fan letter.
But still something's missing.
My ass they aren't kissing.

Take this away.
Dumb it down for the hooray.
Now I'll be a hit.
Can be used by any dumb shit.

I won the race.
I gave all a smiley face.
Dumbed my idea down to a Popsicle stick.
That sure did the trick.

Do you race to the bottom when creating? Can't have any of the dumb people hating. Have to make it understood by a 9 month old. That is how you get the gold. As in all the dough, not the medal. That dough can buy you a fancy new car pedal. May come with the car too. Wasn't dumbing it down for the masses great of you? Pffft I sure won't dumb down the sass that comes from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Time For A Heads Up To Beat Each Hiccup!

The cat has heard it a time or ten. I know many others have at their den. Heard what you ask? Not the loo for a daily task. I guess that would be flushing it. Oh where my head goes bit by bit.

It's sure has been said,
That it's all in your head.
Much to your dislike,
For it really means, take a hike.

You can't get out of bed.
Hey, it's all in your head.
Zombies are going full undead.
Hey, that's all in your head.

Look, it's a tale.
Zombies that can't wail.
They are stuck in bed.
Could bore when out of your head.

Take a spin.
Do it in.
Down the halls.
Scratch at the walls.

The mind don't care.
It still grows hair.
At least for most.
This isn't a making fun of bald people post.

For what's so bad?
A fun time can be had.
It is in your head.
You control what is thought and said.

So give it a spin.
Could turn into Rin Tin Tin.
Did I spell that right?
Bah, in my head it took flight.

But it's all in your head.
Yeah. That's been said.
So friggin what?
At least it isn't in my butt.

Like...maybe...sorta...your head.
Whoops, my head wanted that to be said.
Hey, it's all in my head.
Nowhere it needed to be read.

This post is up there.
Got others to spare.
I can mix and match.
My head has no hatch.

Ever get that said to you at your sea? Whether afraid of something or some other thing comes to be? Oh it is all in your head. Hey, you control it so nothing wrong with what they said. For you can say all kinds back. It's all in your head at your shack. Heads up, as here comes some gas. That isn't all in the head of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Who Did It Bit By Bit?

Right is happy today. Did you know that at your bay? You better know that right is happy or you may make right sappy. Right is ready to play. No left allowed in the fray. Right! Onward we go. Time for the flow.

With this detection,
We have no direction.
Right up there with an erection,
That doesn't get an inspection.

What do you think?
Brought your mind to the brink?
Think it would be an tion post?
All gutter now at your coast?

Wrong times two.
Poor, poor you.
But right loves it.
You added bit by bit.

Bit by bit to what?
A growing golden hut.
It grew and grew and grew.
Fools gold shines over you.

Nope. Collectors all aglow.
They are a shiny foe.
Wrong times three.
Bit by bit getting to thee.

Right is in love.
Just see above.
Love and an erection.
My, what a weird section.

Wrong times four.
Quite the tour.
Not even a three hour one.
Ginger or Maryanne may find it fun.

The Skipper too.
Hey, we won't judge you.
Oops, meant stand erect.
Another wrong we detect.

What's with wrong?
Can't play along.
What's with right?
Erect through the night.

For wrong is dead.
Got that, Fred?
Dead wrong you are.
Now right goes harty har har.

How can wrong be dead? Why is it even said? Do you use dead wrong? Does right or wrong play along? Is wrong like a mutt? Does it play dead at every hut? Hey, right must love it. Can't be dead right with any fit. Also dead wrong gets the call. Maybe when you are right you can't fall? So dead you drop. Like Drop Dead Fred at a sockhop. Hopping in socks might be slippery too. Oh look, we found out how wrong died at our zoo. Wrong died at a sockhop pass. Yeah, I'm a crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 21, 2018

You Are Furry But No Need To Worry!

Humans sure worry a bunch. A lot of it is out to lunch. Oh, you'll worry about that to. What will I eat at my zoo? What can I have to eat? Can't be the same old treat. Could be a post there. But bah, why worry at our lair?

A worry has come.
It makes you numb.
Numb in the mind.
You're in a bind.

What will you eat?
Whoops, hit delete.
Been there above.
Look. There's a dove.

On you it may shit.
Worry about it.
Yeah. That is the way.
Worry about bird poop night and day.

It makes sense.
Maybe to the dense.
Dense and numb.
You should worry some.

But let's take a trip.
Let's do a flip.
A flipperoo for you.
Don't worry, it's not new.

You have a lump on your head.
You may wind up dead.
Bah, don't worry about that.
Could just be backed up scat.

You lost your job.
Got stolen by Bob.
Those bills you see?
Bah, don't worry about them coming after thee.

You can't afford to eat.
No contemplating in the street.
Don't worry about that.
At least you won't get fat.

You can't walk.
You can't even gawk.
But don't worry one bit.
It is normal to only be able to sit.

Oh look, a bird.
Worry about the turd.
Don't worry about the other stuff.
That is all just fluff.

Do you worry about nonsense at your sea? Has a bird ever shit on thee? Do you not worry about the stuff you should? Or at least stuff you should do something about at your hood. Sitting around worrying is never a win, but it can keep you from a street corner cardboard box bin. Especially if it gets you off your butt. Bah, don't worry and just watch smut. I think I hear the singing bass. He's going all Don't Worry Be Happy to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

A Don't Care Is Unaware!

Denial seems to be the name of the game. Maybe deluded adds to its fame. Or diluted too. As in brain cells have gone from some to few. Loads it may never have been for some. So we'll stick with some for many a chum.

Great is around.
It has a great sound.
An oh so great one.
Great has to be spun.

Wonderful, excellent and maybe even good.
Each can also be understood.
I'm sure there are more,
But that would just bore.

So we'll stick with great.
It has the most used trait.
You don't agree?
How dare thee.

No, really how dare you?
How do you dare at your zoo?
Is it by magic?
Damn, could turn tragic.

Get turned to a puddle.
Ideas sure can muddle.
Back to form.
Great's the norm.

It is just so.
I don't care what you say at your show.
Using great is just great.
It has to be our fate.

I don't care what you say.
Nope, not one bit at our bay.
Great is just great.
It has to be our fate.

Did I repeat a rhyme?
It was just such a great chime.
I don't care what you say.
Another little replay.

But I still don't care.
You must be aware.
Great is just great.
It is up to the plate.

Forget things like good.
Great is to be understood.
And you know what?
I don't care what you say at your hut.

Hmmm does one protest too much? If they don't care, why say it more than a touch? Secretly they just want you to agree. Are you a closet I don't care what you say person at your sea? Or would you just rather do what you like and have I don't care what you say take a hike? You humans make things so complicated, especially when what you really want is for your ego to get inflated. Now I'll go hawk up a hairball mass. I don't care what you say about it to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

A Lounging Way All Social Today!

Here I am a sitting and a social moniker would be fitting. But there are no OMGs or TFBs that come due. So maybe social wouldn't work for the hip at our zoo. I guess it may or may not be true. But there is a place which you can embrace.

Time to scrounge.
You want a lounge.
Not a lounger.
Different kind of scrounger.

A lounge for all.
Sings stand tall.
Smokers have one.
Blah by the ton.

Lounges for strippers.
Lounges for tippers.
Lounges for shippers.
Boats or tv show dippers.

Lounges aren't rare.
Could sit in a pair.
A lounging double dip.
Think you huffed cat nip.

But one is out.
Out and no about.
Although some try.
Can we ask why?

Social media lounge.
We shall scrounge.
Oh look, one there.
You can lounge in a chair.

You can sit and type.
Or maybe you Skype.
Social media lounges are the rage.
Come in after paying a wage.

Out in the street.
Out for something to eat.
Out in the car.
Out at a bar.

Up a hill.
Having a thrill.
Fingers go broke?
Did you croak?

Guess what?
Don't need a hut.
Social media lounge in the air.
OMG mind blown at your lair.

Ever go into a social media lounge? Do you really need a place to scrounge? You can stop and type and poof, done. No need to pay for such a run. Of course if you stop in the middle of the street, you may end up dead meat. Doesn't social media lounges seem redundant a bit? For you can lounge at home where you sit. Enjoy the social media trespass. I'll lounge away at home with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Not In A Rut As We Got A Big But!

Nah, not that kind of butt. We forgo those at our hut. And nope, we do not lie. Did that song now fly? Stuck in your head? Oh the dread. I guess that worked out weird. But that isn't the butt to be feared.

This is great.
This is grand.
It's sure first rate.
I'll give you a hand.

But there was this.
But there was that.
It just had this hiss.
No need for a spat.

But those aren't bad.
It is still great.
A fun time was had.
It's sure second rate.

Sorry, I can't count.
First or second..whatever.
It is still an amount.
Works for any endeavor.

But it may need this.
But it may need that.
Something could be amiss.
Like maybe a welcome mat.

But don't even care.
I still say it's great.
Maybe it's even fair.
But it sure is third rate.

I really can't count.
I may need a math class.
But still a top three amount.
So no need for sass.

But there is one thing.
This thing is rather abundant.
It sticks out like bling.
I swear I don't mean to sound redundant.

But...and this is a big but,
You are fourth rate.
You can't make the cut.
But it still was great.

It's just a big but.
I soon need to take this call.
It wasn't large like King Tut.
Okay, that is just all.

So buts can grow? Not those butts for show, but actual buts? Damn, you humans are nuts. Okay, maybe not. This doesn't need to be a plot. But could go big like BUT or maybe like BUT at each hut. Now that is a big but. Sure can make the cut. Do you like big buts and you can't lie? Or is it more the other butts you give a try? Do you go big with your but? Can't have buts that go put put. As in putter not put. Shoe's on the other foot? Damn, that is weird too. But could make for a happy Blue. Maybe a big happy Blue will come to pass. Bah, I'll skip the big butts and buts and just go with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

So Many A Thief...Good Grief!

The cat would never do it. For it can stink a bit. Plus the germs that may come. Would sure curl the OCD of my rhyming bum. Or would that be tail? Bah, either or isn't a fail.

That is so pretty.
So let's do a ditty.
A ditty on pretty.
Sound like an old bitty.

Can there be a young bitty?
No? Is that a pity?
Maybe a bitty in the city.
Right, stop being witty.

A witty kitty in the city owned by a bitty.
My, aren't I quite the kitty.
Pat may take offense to that.
But bah, I'm a lying cat.

Wasn't the title grand?
It made you stand.
You gave a hand.
No? Bah, have some used sand.

What is that smell?
Been there where we dwell.
No need for a repeat.
The smell wasn't sweet.

It wasn't sweat.
It came from a pet.
So take a guess.
We won't confess.

Can you guess?
Life's a mess?
Boy, poor you.
Can't even achoo.

And why not?
It's a plot.
A plot by a tot.
Hey, they do it a lot.

Or so you say.
I killed many today.
Actually it was you.
You and a loose screw.

For I took it away.
That breath wouldn't stay.
A witty kitty in the city owned by a bitty.
Did it again, what a pity.

Do you humans think? Yeah, something may stink. Yeah, something may be cute or whatever else you want to call it. But is it such a hit? Can it really take your breath away? May need an epipen if so at your bay. At least some Benadryl. For that can't be run of the mill. Take your breath away? So you died this day in May? Damn, I won't get any comments tomorrow. Oh what sorrow. Did anything take your breath away? Got too close to a vacuum cleaner at your bay? Those things are scary when they take their pass. I knew it was a vacuum cleaner conspiracy against my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

A Pre Post From Your Host!

Bah, one minute early. Hank may get squirrely. Or Suza or Blue. Adam got #1 once too. The ninja may attack. One minute early may sure provide flack. But this is a pre-post. A pre-post at my coast.

What will it be?
What will you see?
Will a rhyme come to be?
Oh golly gee.

Was that said by me?
Only happens in the pre.
A pre with a yippeee?
Blue may fly free.

Maybe with a Scoobeedowweee.
Or something to see.
Beats little old me.
I'll go climb a tree.

What's with the pre?
Why pre me by me?
I want to copy thee.
A copy cat spree.

That I want to see.
Must be read by me.
Looks to cause glee.
Bah, not worth the fee.

Next one comes to be.
A review for a fee.
Critic is my job, you see.
But I seen that from he.

Seen what there is to see.
Saw what comes to be.
Rather go watch a flea.
Like the one here on my knee.

But I'll take the fee.
I'll review for thee.
NY Times counts on me.
Rotten Tomatoes gets no glee.

Hated last for the fee.
I'll hate this for free.
A fee while free.
What a way to be.

Vague about he.
Vague about she.
My review was pre.
But shhhh, don't tell on me.

Ever pre-review at your zoo? For instance write one after not seeing a movie just because the last one was bad to you? Some have admitted to doing that. Critics sure can then let their reviews fall flat. Especially if the movie/book/whatever turns out good. They look like a dead bug on a hood. Did my pre-post about pre-review which maybe can count as pre-judging cause you some twitchy budging? I had to pre-prepare for it to come to pass. My OCD finally pre-approved it though for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

It's Nearly Time With This Rhyme!

Did you ever think it would be near? Like how near your ear is to your rear? Or maybe your toe. Damned if I know. You could be bendy. I better get to it before things get trendy.

This is nearly it.
I'll nearly be through in a bit.
You can do the math.
I may nearly suffer your wrath.

9x4 now.
Does that wow?
Still can't add?
Nearly miffed a tad?

Okay, I'm through.
Ending to my zoo.
All good things come.
Said by some chum.

Or maybe some fool.
He could have been cool.
He could have been a she.
All equal opportunity are we.

Or we're nearly there.
I know you were nearly aware.
But I'm nearly done.
Nearly more than the first line spun.

Nearly up there.
Nearly here to spare.
Nearly sure is neat.
One may think it sweet.

I'm nearly done.
The last rhyme spun.
The last ever.
Last pull of the lever.

Born on a raft?
Bah, go to draft.
I'm nearly there.
Rafts to spare.

They may leak.
May take you up the creek.
I'm nearly stuck.
Good it wasn't muck.

Tomorrow we'll see.
What? I lied to thee.
Bah, I just nearly fooled you.
How near? I haven't a clue.

Did you nearly believe me? Don't you love how nearly comes to be? I nearly fell out of my chair. Not really at my lair. But nearly enough for you. I really am nearly through. Doesn't nearly sure have fun? I'm still nearly done. Now we will nearly end this pass with my ever so near little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Monday, May 14, 2018

Word To The Wise...Avert Thy Eyes!

The cat now has another reason to hate those others. They can't tell who are fathers or mothers. They can't even tell they are snip snip. Even after a nasty vet trip. Maybe they developed Alzheimer at their sea. Beats me.

What is that?
 Are they trying to scat?
Ummm I think not.
Cassie may have gotten eye rot.

I can't see.
Not fully as can be.
Duck a bit, Cass.
Blah, go back to blocking my ass.

Not looking.
Not an R rated booking.
La de da.
 La la la.

Still not done.
Damn, must be fun. 
But not to watch.
Do they need scotch?

Even shifty eyes looks away.
 Guess they wouldn't let him play.
Can't you see?
Here, we'll help thee.

It's kitty porn.
One sure isn't forlorn.
 Two old farts getting a thrill.
Yeah, they are over the hill.

Still not looking.
No one likes their booking.
Oh, he inched out a bit.
Wrong words to describe it?

Cass invited him in.
That is so a sin. 
But I can let it go.
No one wants that show.

He must be taxed.
Or maybe just relaxed.
I guess his thrill,
Umm fit the bill.

Drove me right to chow down.
 Cassie guards our town.
Not even she will let the humper in.
Just the humpee from such a spin.

Maybe they were just sleeping a weird way? Sure didn't look like it at our bay. Did you ever see kitty porn? Bet you never wished for that when you were born. They could have just been sleeping though. Let's go with denial at our show. Our eyes then can deal with such a pass. I guess the snip snip wasn't as good as the one given to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Jump Around For Emails Have Sound!

This is one the cat never knew. Emails can talk to you. You don't need a special program at all. They just speak to you like when you pick up a call. Not even a robot voice. Humans everywhere must rejoice.

Email can speak.
Out words leak.
Typed and spoken.
What have you been smokin?

Must have been good.
Got it from the hood?
Am I even allowed to say that?
Bah, no one is stopping the cat.

For you read and read.
And read indeed.
Every email that comes.
At least from your chums.

No reading King Abubu.
Or Russian mates for you.
Or Viagra knock off things.
Hey, could give you wings.

Just the normal stuff.
Ignore the fluff.
I've said enough?
Is reading too rough?

Bah, emails can speak.
Time for you to freak.
Because you got high.
Whoops, I told, don't cry.

For a new one is found.
It has a sound.
It's own little twang.
Could be screechy, dang.

Oh, we meet.
No email to delete.
Now you must talk.
Some may even squawk.

But wow, look at you.
Or maybe hear you too.
You don't sound like your email.
That could be a hit or a fail.

It's soooo weird though.
Not how I thought it would go.
You don't sound like your emails.
Oh look, a ship with bunny sails.

How can you sound like an email? Isn't that an instant fail? Unless you voice record them yourself or get input from a magic little elf. But you don't sound like your email. Is that even possible to hit the trail? The cat may have thought about that too much. Hey, maybe don't reach out and touch. I may not sound like my post. That could be bad at our coast. I'll go back to the sounds of the singing bass. At least he makes a sound to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

A Killer Is On The Loose So Call A Goose!

Maybe go duck, duck, goose. Or would that be a moose? Can't be a meese as they don't exist like geese. Maybe the whales ate them all? Hey, Adam said so at his hall. Now let's get to the killer before we add too much filler.

Lend me your ear.
A killer is near.
Don't really lend,
That's a bad trend.

A killer may love.
So forget the above.
Don't killer foreplay.
It won't go your way.

What a killer line.
Bah, they got the feline.
How can this be?
The killer is after me.

What a killer notion.
Do you see the commotion?
It's a killer note.
I better dig a moat.

Take a killer back.
I'm under its attack.
What is this killer?
Killer that you were able to fill her.

The gas tank.
Don't walk the gutter plank.
Of course that would be killer.
Could be the next thriller.

A killer thriller.
May need to pill her.
Or pill him.
Things are grim.

A killer type of grim.
All is going dim.
What a killer light.
It has me all right.

It has a killer grip.
It's a one way trip.
I'm in the killer's sight.
I may not make it through the night.

What a killer view.
It's got you too?
Wait. Why are you spying on me?
I may sic a killer after thee.

Can it be a killer whatever when there is not a dying endeavor? Maybe that ranks up there with cool from a fool when it is hot in school. I thought it was a killer thought. So killer that it had to be taught. Are you in a killer mood now? I'm sure it will pass somehow. Of course you may have time to kill and give sass. Keep your killer tendencies away from my killer little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Friday, May 11, 2018

What Is That Smell Where You Dwell?

Do you smell that? Nope, it wasn't the cat. Stick out that sniffer. Become a good whiffer. Or would that take a big whiff? Bah, Grammar Nazi's don't get in a tiff.

What is that smell?
It sure isn't swell.
It must take a hike.
It smells like...

I don't know.
I wish it would go.
Maybe go ride a bike.
It smells like...

I wish I knew.
It has to be you.
Not a head on a pike,
But it smells like...

It's smells like...
Oh take a hike.
It just smells funny.
It makes nothing sunny.

Funny and smell.
What the hell.
Seinfeld at play?
I went astray?

Kind of ironic funny?
Funny like Monopoly money?
It is funny like...
A cat getting a strike?

A mix and match.
A bit of a batch.
A batch of what the fluck.
Are you a quacking duck?

That would be funny.
I may even pay money.
Furry fan fiction galore.
You could make so much more.

But you smell like...
Not the rubber on a bike.
Not things on a shoe from a hike.
But it is funny like...

Funny as in a bare ass?
Funny as an upside down lass?
Funny as in a nude bunny?
Bah, it just smells funny.

Do you laugh when you smell? My, do tell. Humans are a crazy mass. If it smells bad wouldn't you want to get away from the gas? Or whatever else came to pass? Instead you give a funny sass. Can't decide on smell or funny so you double down with your money. It has a funny smell. My, blew your mind with a reverse tell. But if you really, really want some gas I can be a smelly and funny little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Out Of Order Our Side Of The Border!

So out we are, not in a car. Not even in a cage. Nope, but out is still the rage. Would you rage at out? Damn, some confusion may come about. But that is fun for we and little old me.

Out of order.
My, what a phrase.
South of the border,
I may get an eye raise.

Or would the be brow?
Bushy and bright.
Judge Judy can wow.
She likes to fight.

I've got to go.
Yeah, I'm lying.
But for this flow,
At least I'm trying.

It's public and ewww.
That much is true.
But for this eww loo,
It's out of order too.

So order times two.
Let's make it three.
Sorry to you few.
You can't even pee.

Time for the hoarder,
Or those with OCD.
For with this out of order,
Some may go on a spree.

By title or date.
By first or last.
If you move it mate,
You'll be a thing of the past.

So there are things.
So there are words.
Some dingalings.
Can't even release turds.

Am I out of order?
Bah, tell it to a judge.
I won't take in no boarder.
Nope, not going to budge.

Read backwards now.
Go ahead and try.
I'm sure somehow,
Out of order will fly.

Ever notice how out of order was used in many a way? A big flip flop with it on display. Could get you tossed in jail or make a hoarder wail. Oh what out of order can do. I'm sure I've been out of order a time or two. But that won't stop my sass as, out of order or not, things will still come from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Raindrop That Wanted To Stop!

Did you know that the weather had eyes? Did you know it can fall from skies? Hopefully you knew at least one of those two. If not, then you may need to get a clue. But we aren't going into that, for a new kids book has come from the cat err umm maybe Pat.

The rain will come. The rain will fall. It is the thought of one and all. But is it really true? One raindrop may surprise you. He wanted to stop. He no longer wanted to drop. 

What would make him not want to rain? What would cause him such pain? Find out why he wanted to stop by following along with this raindrop.

That makes 120 or so. A nice even number at our show. But do you think we'll stop there? Nah, considering we have 7 more done at our lair. Plus, another 3 or 4 on the go. And more in the head you know. Guess we'll have to make it a nice even 200 one day. Ready to grab a raindrop and play? And so another children's book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Round Sixty Five Proves They Are Still Alive!

Search engine nuts are very few and far between, but I can still keep using them being ahead at my scene. So away we must go with a new search engine nut show.

they are alive

Told you so. Don't repeat my title though.

you sucking that

A lemon or fat? We blame Anne for that.

fart petsy games

Betsy has her own game? Damn, a claim to fame.

allinurl the crow season episode

You want all to eat crow? No way we want to join any reality show.

Roses are red and I'm two

Come back when you're three. You may be allowed to see. drone crash

Is Amazon coming? I thought I heard humming.

can you rhyme here and cheer

Here's a cheer. Never fear with here.

how does rats have sex

I'll let Mary Kirkland answer that. She's more in tune with the rat.

"grown men" farting contest

What is the prize? I could bring flies.

june 13, 2017 | posted in bingo blitz |

Nope, sorry, wrong spot. No bingo for you has been caught.

it's rhyme time

Looking just for me. Should I say yippeee?

spying twinks in bushes

Do I even want to know? Probably not at our show.


So two is bad? Some may get mad.


Is that in code? Are you really a toad?

And here is the winner of today. It is not so gross what they say. But the view may be. You can thank Rosey at your sea. She spurred the post a while ago. And so this searcher wanted a repeat show.

what do cat hairballs look like

Now all can come and sea. It is right there for thee. Did you know what they looked like? You were probably around the last time the image took a hike. But now it is back in full view. Don't you like the part of me shown to you? And so ends this pass of the search engine nuts who found my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 7, 2018

The Only Never Gets Lonely!

The only sure gets around. Everywhere it seems to be found. Only this and only that. Only proves to be full of scat. Or maybe full of full. Either way, only sure has some pull.

Come here and sit.
Did that slip out?
Forget what that's about.

Just come and sit.
Stare at the menu for a bit.
Stare and forget the price.
Don't those names just entice?

They are so great.
Gluten free is their fate.
Nut and GMO free too.
Our chicken has no nuts for you.

We'll be right back.
Count on it at our shack.
Count the minutes we mean.
My, don't you look so serene.

You are just so cute, dear.
An hour later we appear.
But we paid you compliments a plenty.
Be sure and leave at least a twenty.

Here is your food.
It will feed your brood.
Only the best around.
Dig in to the treasure you found.

Three minutes later and you're done.
Damn, wasn't eating here fun?
We even made the plate look happy.
Time for dessert there, chappy.

Ignore that thing on the end.
Desserts are your friend.
Treat yourself to a great snack.
We'll soon be right back.

An hour later and we're here.
We didn't forget, never fear.
You ate it in two minutes flat.
You never need to worry about getting fat.

Now here is your bill.
Doesn't it thrill?
It only comes to $627.99 before tip.
Pull out you credit card and let it rip.

Ever go to one of those? I'd rather drink from a hose. Two hour wait and five minutes to eat. Isn't that worth only $627.99 for such a treat? Could be higher too. But it is only there for you. Only sure can find many a sucker. Did you know there was a nut free clucker? Do they snip snip it before serving? My, that takes the mind a swerving. Now I will go eat my lunch with Cass while you can keep the $627.99 meals away from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

An Endless Post From Your Host!

This post is in endless supply. Or would that be short I spy? I have no idea how you flip flop away with that. I'll just pretend to be an agreeable cat. Yeah, we'll leave that for a dog. One that likes an endless brown log.

My list is long.
My list is short.
It comes on strong,
I'd like to report.

It's so big.
It's so wide.
Down I dig.
Nowhere to hide.

It's so bad.
So bad, I say.
No fun is had.
Not on this day.

It's an endless list.
No task is missed.
Endless it is.
Like the Kool-Aid man taking a whiz.

See it now?
Can you truly see?
Don't raise an eyebrow.
It killed every tree.

I can barely hold it.
It stretches so long.
I'm having a fit.
I can't stay strong.

My endless list is growing.
It is growing even more.
It grows without me knowing.
It just added another chore.

How can this be?
It's endless for me.
It's endless for thee.
Goes well passed my knee.

I haven't the time.
I haven't the will.
This is a crime.
I need some sort of pill.

My endless list is up.
I got everything done.
It was eaten by the pup.
Time to enjoy the sun.

Are you an endless list nut? In some endless rut? Nothing is endless at your sea. Didn't we prove that with the early grave yesterday by me? Your list doesn't stretch from here to Timbuktu, so sorry, not endless at your zoo. Even if you lived a billion years and wrote on everything on Earth, endless still wouldn't give birth. You'd run out of room. So no endless doom and gloom. Although it seems making fun of you humans is endless for me. At least until I or the internet cease to be. Now I'll go eat my not so endless supply of grass. I may even roll it in with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

It's Early Don't Get Squirrely!

Google doesn't like it when I type squirrely out. They think the word isn't out and about. Or would that be in and not about? Beats me, that was a previous shout. Now on we go with a new flow.

Early or late.
That same old fate.
Fate to be dead.
Sorry to put that in your head.

Only true fate.
Whoops, did it again, mate.
Early or late.
Only thing for sure on plate.

They also say taxes.
Not for the bum that relaxes.
The ones that don't pay.
They may get a jail stay.

Forget that.
Curse the cat.
But let it go.
Sing in the snow.

Might be cold.
Things aren't bold.
Watch your foothold.
Whoops, death is sold.

Into it early.
You got squirrely.
Or not like Google.
Did you oogle?

Whoops, you did.
Caught by a squid.
Off into the sea.
Early one by thee.

But you didn't know.
Cold or squid foe.
You had no clue.
That is also true.

So truth makes fail,
Even when hitting death's trail.
Can you hit the trail?
That is another fail.

The path you pave.
Can rant and can rave.
Unless a dirt hole you save,
Can't go into an early grave.

Ever think about that? How that expression kind of falls flat? Do people just have a grave dug waiting for them somewhere? How can a grave be early or late at ones lair? Who gets buried anymore anyway? Don't many just get burnt away? Is it too early for such a question mass? I hope you weren't sent to an early...late...whatever grave by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 4, 2018

Buy The Smart At Wal-Mart!

The cat makes fun of you humans every day. At least most every day at our bay. But that you know. So today we'll smarten you up at our show. It is as easy as can be. Just hand your money over and give us a kickback fee.

The world is smart.
Together yet apart.
Everything is top notch.
Like a kick to the crotch.

Your smart TV.
Will help thee.
Speak a command.
Isn't smart grand?

You can't speak?
It's all Greek?
It won't take TFB or OMG?
Damn, poor pitiful thee.

Your smart phone.
Ding at the tone.
Tells you it all.
You'll never fall.

There you go.
Look out below!
Smash, bing, bang, clang.
The sidewalk kinda rang.

Your smart car.
Bet you'll get far.
Tells you the way.
Can even let you play.

Play with the smart phone.
Ding. Answer the tone.
Bang, boom, crash.
Life is over in a flash.

Your smart water.
Get that from an otter?
How is that a thing?
Are you a ding-a-ling?

Ding, dong, dumb.
Talk out your bum.
Or out where you pee.
Smart water comes to be.

Smart...Smart...Smart = Not You.
Sorry, smart buying crew.
Smart stuff = less smart people.
The dumb add to the sheeple.

Ever notice that? Are you a smart this, that and the other thing person where you are at? Do you rely on smart crap all the time? Does it leave you looking like a brain dead mime? Smart everything, but dumb people forevermore. Some can barely work a door. Monkeys have more brain cells than many in mass. I guess people smarten down now with each pass. I'll stick to the wise gas. Works better for my wisecracking little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

The Good, The Bad And The...Bad Is Had?

Flip flopping humans are all over. They claim they are smarter than rover. I guess that is debatable as can be. Until they eat their own crap humans may have the edge to me.

Coffee is great for you.
This study says so.
Coffee is bad for you.
This study is in the know.

Red meat is so bad.
This study clenched it.
Red meat is great to be had.
This study is the shit.

Cell phones are fine.
This study finds that.
Cell phones shouldn't align.
This study pulled the rabbit from the hat.

Smoking is fine for you.
This study says so.
Whoops, away the 1950's flew,
Look at that lung cancer grow.

This drug is great for you.
Which one, I can't say.
This drug is bad to come due.
Which one, too many at play.

Sitting is so very bad.
This study says it.
Sitting is just okay.
This study is internet shit.

Calcium supplements work great.
This study found it out.
Calcium supplements are a crappy fate.
This study holds clout.

Sleeping 8 hours a day is right.
That is the way to be.
Sleeping 8 hours at night,
Is too much for thee.

This will trim the fat.
This study says so.
This will do none of that.
Look at the results this study does show.

This car is rated great.
These tests prove it.
This car is second rate.
We'll fix it by recalling a bit.

The cat could go on and on and on. But we don't want to be here until the next dawn. Isn't it fun to look at studies that claim the opposite thing? Ever get aggravated by them at your blog wing? A tiny bit of truth in most, at best. One has to figure out the rest. The cat will now do a study on eating grass. Hey, I do what works for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Oh Drat! An Airy Flat!

Out of air.
Out of gas.
Both not fair.
We'll take a pass.

Both can suck.
Both can rain.
Pass the buck,
On such a pain.

Or pass the gas.
Easy to do.
Out the ass,
It just flew.

That went flip.
That went flop.
Here's a tip.
Just don't stop.

Let it flow.
Let it fill.
You never know,
What can thrill.

Or what can suck.
Like a drain.
Pass over that buck.
It feels no pain.

Your wallet may.
Or maybe not.
Repair they say.
Such an evil plot.

But can be filled.
It can be fixed.
You may not be thrilled,
But life isn't nixed.

Still a step.
Still a stride.
Follow that pep.
Life is still spied.

Life can be found.
Life can be breathed anew.
So before sand you pound,
Take a new view.

And a newsflash. IWSG has a new book bash!


Yeah, the cat is nuts. We get that from many huts. All of that from a crummy flat tire. But meh, it can be fixed by some repair guy for hire. Could be fixed by Pat too, but damn such manual labor at our zoo. If a story or idea falls flat, take a new view like that of the cat. Ever need a new view? As crazy as our zoo? Oh, and if you have that kind of gas, pass it away like my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Here We Go With A Commercialized Show!

The cat is going to sell today. Pfffft yeah, and I'm nice to dogs at my bay. But if you bought any of that. I still have that slightly used bridge to sell to some dingbat.

Do you ever...
Starts the endeavor.
They think they are clever.
How about never?

Maybe they think you dumb.
A head up your bum.
As the commercials are made.
Hey, all in fair trade.

Find yourself like this...
Then they rip the piss.
No matter the item at play,
They have some idiot on display.

Bad at mowing grass.
Bad at smelling good for a lass.
Bad at picking up a fork.
Bad at popping a cork.

Bad at using a hammer.
Bad at avoiding the slammer.
Bad at drinking beer.
Bad at putting a earring in your ear.

They've got a dumb ass for it.
No matter the weird shit.
They get stuck in some weird form.
And watchers buy it as the norm.

Oh, this product will help you out...
Then comes more as they spout.
It will turn things grand...
Like you need this helping hand.

A smile on the dumb ass,
Then comes to pass.
Look, the product helped him.
So come buy it on a whim.

Not that you'll ever fall.
Not that you'll ever trip down the hall.
Not that you'll ever chop off a limb.
Not that you'll ever turn paper slim.

Not that you'll ever poke out an eye.
Many more not's can easily fly.
But you believed the dumb commercial guy,
And now you can make a bed without the need to ever cry.

Pfffft to commercials I say. Many are so stupid on display. Like any of that crap ever really comes due. Heck, drink that beer and hot women or men will fondle you. Get a tree trimmer holder for the tree trimmer and save your fingers from utter mutilation. Oh wait, that cures constipation. Such crazy things you all believe from the marketing class. Humans sure are strange to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.